Containment What If?

Re: What if Chris really was as attractive as he thinks he i

Despite being a handsome man he still wouldn't get any china or a girlfriend. His personal hygene would work against his looks and his childish attitude would be turn-off potential sweet-hearts. Add in the fact that he lives in a dilapidating crap shack hoarded with junk with his mother while living off welfare and one can see that he is nothing more than polished turd. He may look shiny (good attractive looks) but he is just a shiny piece of crap (bad hygene, bad home with hoarded junk, living with aging mother, lives off welfare with no motivation to work or contribute to society, and has an immature attitude.)
 
Re: What if Chris really was as attractive as he thinks he i

He'd probably still sport Barb's bowl-cut and have that creepy stare, so I don't think he'd be getting much china.
 
^^you guys are just jealous of Chris's amazing STRAIGHT masculinity. He's the very epitome of strong suave macho flair. You're envious of him because you're feminine homo wussies. We're all envious of him because we can never dream of being as masculine as he is. That's why we are evil trolls - pure jealousy.
 
If he was genuinely gay, he would wear his faggotry as a badge of honour. He would walk around proudly gay, all "we're here, we're queer", activisty as fuck.
I imagine him taking on a bit of a "Only Gay in the Village" type, as seen in the brilliant comedy series "Little Brittain". This is pretty much what I expect Chris to be like if he was actually gay:

[youtube]KrlzaBNgz-M[/youtube]

Chris, if gay, would be just as demonstrative with his homosexuality as he now is with his heterosexuality. And when he'd see a vayajay he'd "look away with a moment of being disgusted". He'd listen to Right Said Fred and Boy George and stare at his Village People poster to "STAY GAY". :heart-full:
 
If he was gay, he'd have gotten in serious, serious trouble when he started lovequesting. Soliciting for gay sex in malls and parks, and pawing uninterested (probably straight) men, that would probably go over disastrously.
 
Instead of drawing Sonichu, Chris would draw "CWC of R-ville" and it would be pencil drawings of a macho, hyper-masculine Magichan.
 
Holy Mother of Murgatroyd!

Blue Max said:
Just for Kicks...

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
FORREST GUMP VS
Christian W. Chandler

BEGIN

Gump:
"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll find"
"But that chocolate you ate came from your own Behind"
"I listen to my momma, and she's sitting on her rocker." *Image of Barb*
"Now I'm richer than Betty Crocker"

"I don't know what your tugboat is or does"
"But I named my boats Jenny Because" *Fleet of Shrimp Boats*
"She's the one for me, I don't pay for sex"
"And that's just a matter of pure self-respect"

"Now I'm here on a bench because that's what I like" *Cut to Bench at Start of Forrest Gump*
"Telling my story about my own life"
"I don't need to scream on the inter net"
"And I honor my promises, I never forget"

CWC:

"Forrest Something, you're just a troll"
"You're a story character when I was ten years old"
"I am true and honest, and very real!"
"Creator of Sonichu and Rosichu, DO NOT STEAL!!!" *Comic Images*

"People on the internet may give me hate" *Troll Montage*
"But for the loyal fanbase, it's not too late"
"I'll send in detectives, everything in my power"
"take down this troll like the twin F***ing towers!"

"I've met Miyamoto, I've shared emails" *Miyamoto image*
"I've called out trolls like you, they all fails!"
"I'm high functioning autistic, you are slow in the mind"
"And I am a hero in my books, defined!"

Gump:
"You say you're high functioning, but what do you do?"
"Act like a caged animal at a zoo?"
"Play video games and never work?" [PSN footage]
"Decide all men are against you name them all jerks?"

"I don't have all the answers, but I know what to do."
"Keep your promises, and keep your heart true"
"I've met Kennedy, Nixon, Lennon, LBJ" *Montage*
"And served our country in Vietnam"
"All you've done is act out in rage and fury"
"While doing no work and taking social security"

"So, that's how I am, and why I'm here" [Back to Bench]
"My heartsweet is real, and while I'll always feel"
"Thirty One years old and never living a day"
"Is no way for anyone to stay"

CWC:[/B}

"GET IT THROUGH YOUR F***ING SKULL"
"You are stupid, trolling and dull!"
"Girls love my style, fully unfurled!"
"I understand them by going TOMGIRL" (CWC shifts to Tomgirl)

"You are fake, a mockery, an IMPOSTER!"
"And all you're doing is sitting around town"

[BOB storms onto the set]

BOB:
"Gump, get off that Rap Battle"
"I'm cutting it down!"

WHO WON?
WHOSE NEXT?
YOU DECIDE

Epic Rap Battles of History (Fan Tribute)
Click to expand...


:o

Uh, Blue Max.....which one are you?
Epic Lloyd or Nice Peter?
 
I honestly wonder sometimes if he's not at least bi-curious, considering "boyfriend free girl" begins with "boyfriend", and being a fellow high functioning acoustic I've had a few subconscious bumbles before, for example one time as I was leaving school I almost told one of my friends "I love you". Of course, saying it I meant something completely different, like, "I care about you and hope to see you later", then corrected it mid sentence and ended up saying "I love potatoes". I wouldn't pin Chris as a straight up homo, moreso that he's been told by Borb through his entire life that being gay is "immoral and wrong", and so he forces himself to think the same. I might be biased because I went through the same thing, but meh. I'm actually curious to see how he'll approach homosexuality once Barb is out of the picture.
 
...high intelligence, education, sophistication, manners, etc.

I think he'd probably resemble Herman Kahn:
644px-Interview_with_Herman_Kahn%2C_author_of_On_Escalation%2C_May_11%2C_1965.jpg
 
I know the question sounds weird, but bear with me.

In a classic book called Picture of Dorian Grey, the main guy, Dorian, sells his soul for eternal beauty. In return, his self portrait gets infused with his soul, giving him the same appearence as his portrait originally was. However, there's a catch. Even though Dorian himself didn't age, his portrait does. Not only that, but for every bad or immoral decision Dorian makes, it appears forever marked in his portrait. For example, after he rejected his love and broke up with her over vain reasons, the portrait gained a cold smile. Another example is that after he killed his friend, the image in the portrait had a blood-stained hand. If the portrait ever broke, he would die, so he had no choice but to keep it, regardless of how grotesque his image became.

Relating back to Chris, what if he had a similar portrait, so he still resembled his high-school days? Would he use it to pick up boy-friend free girls? Would he fuck it up somehow?
 
The thing is, Dorian Gray was already beautiful when he unknowingly made that pact. It wasn't a question of gaining beauty, but preserving it.
 
You got it backward. Real Chris ages and corrupts while Comic Chris stays youthful despite his sins.
 
Kosher Dill said:
You got it backward. Real Chris ages and corrupts while Comic Chris stays youthful despite his sins.
Click to expand...

In that case, Chris should have some damn good plastic binder sleeves for those pages, 'cause when that paper inevitably yellows...
 
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