Containment What If?

[pickleniggo]

I imagine Chris will look like Jabba the Hut by then, but he'll still be whining about his high school days and trying to set up a reunion every few years while continuing his sweetheart search (ladies 50+ years old).

 

[Duke Nukem]

Part of it will go to Barb, as always, but I imagine that he'd probably go do the usual: vidya and fast food.

I don't know if any of it is going to Barb.

But I think a lot of Chris' tugboat goes to Snyder and other bills.

How much exactly does he owe Snyder altogether? I'm just wondering if he's even made a dent in that shit.

 

[Lady Houligan]

He's already got all the senior citizen mannerisms down. He's belligerent to anyone he feels like in public, he can't drive, and he feels entitled as fuck. Hell, he's even got the handicapped tag for his car.

 

[Duke Nukem]

If Chris somehow managed to succeed in a suicide attempt, the Christorians and trolls would mourn the passing of the greatest internet lolcow to ever live.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Staten Island, Ass Log will be celebrating the death of the only person he thinks is "worse" than him. He will party over it for weeks on end with a one-man orgy of cheap beer and furry porn.

Of course, then he'll realize how empty and barren his own life is, now that he has no one to make fun of anymore.

 

[pickles]

I wonder if he'd still view himself as a teenaged high school student. Which would be creepy if his sweetheart search was still targeted towards girls that age.

 

[Some JERK]

DIRTY, CRAPPED WHEELCHAIR.

 

[Marvin]

Part of it will go to Barb, as always, but I imagine that he'd probably go do the usual: vidya and fast food.

I don't know if any of it is going to Barb.

But I think a lot of Chris' tugboat goes to Snyder and other bills.

How much exactly does he owe Snyder altogether? I'm just wondering if he's even made a dent in that shit.

Beats me.

 

[Sakamoto]

He would become a transvestite version of what Barb is now.

 

[c-no]

Only if Chris was able to do that to ponies, otherwise, he'd just get bucked by hooves or zapped by magic, prompting him to think the ponies are trolls.

 

[Fuzzy Wuzzy]

I usually avoiding asking questions of what if Chris was born with severe conditions; especially the ones that can lead to premature death. I don't wish horrible things happen to Chris oh no. But for those who don't know what Prader Willi Syndrome is, its a rare condition where the person inflicted by it has lower intelligence and food addiction making them more prone to obesity. If Chris had that condition, my theory would be that his coddling parents would feed him into morbid obesity. Not to mention if you think his current entitlement issues and tantrums were bad, he's be 10 times worse if not more. So what do you guys think would happen if Chris was born with such a condition? I know his coddling parents are just going to keep feeding him into morbid obesity but that's just my theory.

I think Bob would have tried to curb his appetite but Barb would feed him whenever he wanted food.
Out of curiosity, how is this diagnosed?

Physical examination at least. It's also a genetic condition too from what I heard.

 

[Big_Pete_33]

I would be kinda sad. As much of an idiot and nutjob he is, I can't help but see a little bit of myself in Chris, and I can easily see myself in his position.

I'd imagine is Barb is still alive if that happened, she would pretty much lose the will to live.

It'd be the worst for Barb. She'd spiral into insanity faster than she is now. She would have lost both sons, since Coleslaw wants nothing to do with her.

She would keep his corpse until it starts to rot, just imagine, "Gud morning Chrisshun, you have good dreamy dreams?" then she spoons with the corpse, of the recently deceased tomgirl. At the same time probably singing.

Reverse Psycho with as Norman Bates

 

[José Mourinho]

Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

Either A-Log or Robert Wayne Stiles.

Chris may be forced to get a job by his mum.

Or they are forced to sell some more belongings.

I'll cut him to bald.

It will be the poorest city in the US.

He would blame something else if he couldn't get a sweetheart. (e.g. Autism)

There'd still be followers, but expect boring content.

LEGO's.

 

[OBAMATRON]

A little hairspray and meet the new Chris.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Don't know if a Sweeney Todd reference counts as A-Logging.

(Besides, Chris wouldn't make for a good meat pie; too much fat.)

 

[José Mourinho]

If Chris somehow managed to succeed in a suicide attempt, the Christorians and trolls would mourn the passing of the greatest internet lolcow to ever live.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Staten Island, Ass Log will be celebrating the death of the only person he thinks is "worse" than him. He will party over it for weeks on end with a one-man orgy of cheap beer and furry porn.

Of course, then he'll realize how empty and barren his own life is, now that he has no one to make fun of anymore.

If he made a video about it, he would end up be the Internet's best lolcow as he would get trolled often.

 

[CWCissey]

Detroit would feel bad for it.

 

[CatParty]

he'd be reading goosebumps in lieu of the actual material, which would make for an interesting view of relationships.

 

[Duke Nukem]

If he made a video about it, he would end up be the Internet's best lolcow as he would get trolled often.

Does Ass Log even make unwatchable videos anymore? I haven't bothered to check in a long time.

 

[champthom]

I'd give him a nice buzzcut so he doesn't look like a goddam hippie.

 

[CatParty]

i'd take my scissors and cut two eyeholes out of a paper bag and send him on his way.