Containment What If?

[spaps]

If a HOMO got Chris's blood they'd be turned to the straight path. Chris's blood cures da homogay, it's said.

According to the comic, his blood acted as a vaccine, by that logic his blood contains SHEER homosexuality.

The vaccine also gave all the cured HOMOS autism.

 

[Bridechu]

I always doubted that Chris actually gave blood. He would never set himself up for that kind of pain and discomfort when he could lie about it instead.

Speaking from experience, giving blood really just amounts to a tiny quick prick.

Not to mention whatever center he did it through likely had some sort of little incentive to get people in the door (the center where I go, for instance, offers gift cards or coupons for a free quart of ice cream at a local store). So maybe he didn't donate for the most altruistic reasons, but to me, that's better than nothing.

I give blood regularly, and while I don't find it hurts (the finger prick for the iron test hurts more than the actual drawing). I checked the wiki, and it turns out the blood drive was tied to a Guitar Heroes tournament, so that was likely the motivation. I still would have hated to be the nurse that stuck him, though. Or asked him the questionnaire.

 

[Night Terror]

"Mm, yeah, uh, I want... want to take the middle lane alone or I'll feed an' all that... mm..."

 

[HexBawxUno]

Re: What if Chris really was as attractive as he thinks he i

Even if he was genuinely attractive, his outfits and attraction sign, among others, would have still driven away the ladies.

Combined with his ego, he might end up setting his standards even higher than they already are, leading him back to .

 

[KatsuKitty]

Re: What if Chris really was as attractive as he thinks he i

I'm really beginning to doubt how universally important looks are to attraction, since in my experience, spending exorbitant amounts of time on your appearance doesn't yield better luck with either JERKS or ladies.

So really, I don't think it would be any different. He'd still have problems getting china, but with Chris you'd still be able to clearly point the finger at other things that keep him from getting china: living at home, never showering, lacking direction, and acting very strange.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Re: What if Chris really was as attractive as he thinks he i

We had a thread like this before.

I'm assuming "being attractive" means both physical good looks and having a great personality. I also assume he's as strong as he thinks he is. We may have an entirely different person from CWC.

He'd still be as dumb as a box of rocks, autistic and be lazy as all get out, be on welfare, have a huge ego and bad case of USI, feel entitled, as well as thinking the world is out to get him, among the other things that make Chris Chris.

It might be like a personal ad I saw in the 365 Dumbest Things Ever Said Calendar:

Gorgeous blonde tired of being patronized seeks man willing to listen to stories of alien abduction.

His attraction sign (er, personal ad) will say something like:

Strong, handsome man seeking 18-31 year-old female. Must be willing to listen to stories of internet trolling.

 

[HexBawxUno]

I would say his lack of talent, but technically that would be adding something.

I'm going to go with his wardrobe. No more clownshirts. The Direct2sex pic is one of the few not completely shitty pictures of him out there.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

His laziness like derpi said.

If he were willing to work really, really hard he could end up as a normal person. I don't know if he would be employable, but if he could get a job and leave in her lair of hoarded junk, his life would really improve.

DDC has the next thing I'd improve: his intelligence, because Chris isn't an intelligent person, but if Chris doesn't have a solid work ethic intelligence will do him no good. There are plenty of geniuses out there wasting their lives in menial jobs because they lack the work ethic and discipline that should match their intellect.

 

[Trombonista]

Someone in Virginia has a little bit of gravy in their bloodstream now.

 

[PacSol]

I give blood regularly, and while I don't find it hurts (the finger prick for the iron test hurts more than the actual drawing). I checked the wiki, and it turns out the blood drive was tied to a Guitar Heroes tournament, so that was likely the motivation. I still would have hated to be the nurse that stuck him, though. Or asked him the questionnaire.

I wouldn't put it past Chris to compare the almost non-pain of blood donation to excruciating torture, since only he knows true pain, after all.

I need to donate blood more.

 

[c-no]

As some would say, I would delete his laziness. Once that is done, he would actually do things like bathe, use the toilet, clean his home, cook a meal that isn't microwavable dinners, try to find a job, try to socialize with people. If that is done, he would actually improve his life.

 

[derpi]

If a HOMO got Chris's blood they'd be turned to the straight path. Chris's blood cures da homogay, it's said.

According to the comic, his blood acted as a vaccine, by that logic his blood contains SHEER homosexuality.

Actually vaccinations contain dead viruses .-.
So by that logic he has killed off all the homo inside of him .-.
And to kill off all the homo he has to have had homo inside him o.o
Interpret that any way you like ( )
(why does this autocorrect v-a-c-c-i-n-e-s to DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS?)

 

[Racoon]

What if Chris was a vegan?

what if Chris was a vegan? I think he wouldn't be as large as he is now. oh yea, but he would still hate pickles though..

 

[Blue Max]

I always doubted that Chris actually gave blood. He would never set himself up for that kind of pain and discomfort when he could lie about it instead.

Speaking from experience, giving blood really just amounts to a tiny quick prick.

Not to mention whatever center he did it through likely had some sort of little incentive to get people in the door (the center where I go, for instance, offers gift cards or coupons for a free quart of ice cream at a local store). So maybe he didn't donate for the most altruistic reasons, but to me, that's better than nothing.

Having donated blood all of twice, I think I understand where the pain and discomfort lies--its much more than a pin prick.

Quite suddenly the world becomes tiresome--your body needs blood to keep itself powered, and I felt really faint for something like three days afterward. True, the pain was light, but I felt really worn down, like I'd lost most of my batteries. It wasn't pain, it was just really out of it from a lack of blood.

This is CWC; he's already running on first gear even in the best of times. Try to imagine compounding that with the lethargy that donating blood would add. He doesn't seem to have enough energy on his own anyhow, imagine him with even less

Some people can donate blood without feeling faint, my mother did so without really feeling any problems, but I couldn't do it myself. And its quite possible that OPL can't either.

 

[exball]

Yeah, like Carrie, but instead of blood the trigger is getting trolled.

But remember Chris basically already did Carrie with the High school story, the trolls would be forced to PRAISE HIS CREATIVITY!

 

[CatParty]

there are fat vegans.
not to mention all the from a cleansing diet.

 

[Some JERK]

Re: What if Chris was a vegan?

what if Chris was a vegan? I think he wouldn't be as large as he is now. oh yea, but he would still hate pickles though..

I have a relative that's vegan. Said relative is also diabetic and fat as shit.

my point there is, not eating meat doesn't magically fix your obesity if you're still gulping down tons of sugar and fat, which of course Chris would almost certainly continue to do.

 

[BT 075]

He would be a little less fat, and he would be even weaker and less energetic then he is now.
If he went "Vegan to the extreme" he might join the Raw Food movement. If he did, he'd likely die.
If he became vegetarian instead, and changed his lifestyle, his health may very well improve.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

(why does this autocorrect v-a-c-c-i-n-e-s to DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS?)

Because once there was a guy on the forum who believed the conspiracy theory that v. cause autism and kept sperging on and on about it.

 

[Fibonacci]

Virgin blood is the best quality you can ask for.