Containment What If?

I don't think Chris would get very far if he were born in say, the middle ages. Infanticide and Child abandonment were common practices back then, especially among the common folk. If Chris was kept and survived through the bouts of Childhood diseases, he'd be put to heavy work for his family or his lord. Modern Chris wouldn't survive, but a medieval version of Chris might have a better chance granted he wasn't immediately discarded.
 
I have been watching too redneck many monster shows lately. What if Chris told his current life "fuck it" and moved out into the forests and spent his days chasing big foot in between McDonalds runs.
 
The Chronicles of Chris-chan: Chris goes Outdoors [10/9/2010]

That is as far as it would go.
[youtube]ZYoRAQd6YVU[/youtube]
 
Big Foot would prove as elusive as a heartsweet.

Also, how much space is wasted on useless what if topics?
 
Remember when he destroyed his PS3 and got another one? Remember how he told Jackie he had withdrawal symptoms from a lack of PS3.
And you're asking this guy to have a hobby outside? :lol:
He'd crack in 5 days.
 
He'll get bored when his 3DS/iPhone dies and he realizes there aren't any power outlets in the wild.

Of course if he brings a coffee maker with him he might manage to cause a wild fire anyway.
 
He has a better chance of finding bigfoot than a boyfriend-free girl.
 
Cuddlebug said:
08evZA7.jpg

Good evening sir how are you?
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OPL: Greetings, good Jew. Might I trouble you for some Pokemon cards?

Michael Snyder: Get out of here Chris before I call the cops.

OPL: Chris? Who is Chris? My name is Guy Incognito.
 
With his Mcdonald's taste, he'd think he was in a fancy 5-Star eatery and be dumb enough to ask for beluga caviar and Cristal Champagne.
 
Ziltoid said:
With his Mcdonald's taste, he'd think he was in a fancy 5-Star eatery and be dumb enough to ask for beluga caviar and Cristal Champagne.
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I doubt Chris knows what either of those are.
 
GrandNumberOfPounds said:
What if CWC wasn't a 30-something white American Southerner?

If he was born in ancient Rome, he would live with his parents on the farm his dad got in return for serving in the legion. He would pretend to know Attic Greek but mangle it when he spoke it. He'd also combine two Roman gods and write stories about them, thinking they were the greatest myths ever, but everyone else would laugh at him.
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He'd still shit himself and do nothing, except be in Rome instead.

Ziltoid said:
I don't think Chris would get very far if he were born in say, the middle ages. Infanticide and Child abandonment were common practices back then, especially among the common folk. If Chris was kept and survived through the bouts of Childhood diseases, he'd be put to heavy work for his family or his lord. Modern Chris wouldn't survive, but a medieval version of Chris might have a better chance granted he wasn't immediately discarded.
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Samurai Chris would be hilarious. DIRTY,CRAPPED ARMOR! Then seppuku.

Holdek said:
Maybe he's a barber.
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Just a hair enthusiast.

Ziltoid said:
He has a better chance of finding bigfoot than a boyfriend-free girl.
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Chris finds a boyfriend-free bigfoot to make into a mantle (using its feet) from the ground up.
 
How hard could it be? He could just loiter around the public park nearest to a McDonald's and hold a bigfoot attraction sign until someone kicks him out. Alternatively, ask people on Facebook to introduce him to any and all available bigfoots and bitch about being eternally bigfootless.

Then his heart flattens and steelplates as it turns out that the only bigfoot he ever saw was just a man in a fursuit who doesn't remember him.
 
I agree with the others: he'd probably get a replacement Keurig and some free K-cups at the most. More than likely they'd probably send him some coupons for some K-cups and tell him that if he wants to get the Keurig replaced, to take it back to the store and get a replacement or mail them the unit for replacement. Thus making it near impossible for Chris to actually sue anyone, as he won't have the actual unit anymore.

I think that he'd spend a lot of time filling up on the free bread, which I'll admit is pretty good. I can see Barb demanding an extra loaf so she can shove one in her purse while the waiter isn't looking. I imagine that they'd probably order some of the $10 steaks as well as a bloomin onion and sodas. Of course if they weren't paying, they'd probably pick out the more pricey steaks and drinks. I can see Barb trying to use the fire as a way to wheedle some extra bread loaves out of the waitress (or waiter) and possibly succeeding if they're soft hearted enough.

I don't honestly think that either of them would be all that rude or stand out. It's fun and all to imagine Chris sitting there and silently masturbating as he stares holes into his waitress while his mother demands that everyone give her their utmost attention for her boring stories, but odds are he'll just make a few creeper comments while Barb shoves as much bread as she can down her throat and into to-go boxes or her purse. Then they'd sit there for hours and hours, sucking down drinks and nibbling at their food until their wait staff finally pushes them out the door.

Damn, now I want a bloomin onion. Diets suck because neither that nor their bread is on my diet currently.
 
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