Containment What If?

Hey guys, Danny Devito, of Matilda fame, here. I've been thinking about turning Chris' life into an episodic series on HBO or Showtime, and I was wondering: who do you think should play who? Here's my dream cast:

Christian Chandler: Channing Tatum, Chris Pratt, or Armie Hammer
Bob Chandler: Robin Williams or Chris Cooper
Barb Chandler: Kathy Bates or Meryl Streep
Megan: Kristen Stewart or Chloe Moretz
Michael Snyder: Leonardo DiCaprio or Christian Bale
Liquid Chris: Josh Hutcherson or Donald Glover


I know this barely cracks the surface of characters involved in Christian's life, but this is what I've got so far personally. Feel free to include more characters in your list.
 
He'd make a Facebook post bitching about how the trolls and Megan conspired to steal his wallet with all his hard earned money in it. Then he'd shit his pants and do nothing.
 
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Bloody crapped panties.
Recycling of menstrual blood.

You're very welcome! :D
 
Chris would be lusting after men, obviously.

Oh, wait, that's just regular Chris. :ween: :pickle: :ween:

Also: Different health issues, more white knights.
 
Chris does, like a surprising number of other people, actually believe that it is possible to be "infected" with homosexuality, and in order to build resistance against this he has to look at a Sailor Moon poster and Playboy photos.

Now, what if some trolls actually suggested to him that he has been successfully turned gay? E.g. they could send him a number of pictures showing naked dudes and on the last one there is a link to a fake webpage which explaines "scientifically" that looking at a certain number of naked guys in quick succession turns a man gay without fail.

How would Chris react? Would he start behaving even more feminine because he is convinced that he's gay now? Or would he just tardrage? Or find it liberating to finally be allowed to give in to his bicurious thoughts (if they exist)??

:pickle:
 
Re: What if Chris could be convinced of having been turned g

he's sure convinced us he's gay.
 
Re: What if Chris could be convinced of having been turned g

"i'm STRAIGHT"
 
Re: What if Chris could be convinced of having been turned g

... this sounds suspiciously like a trolling plan.

That said, there are several possibilities.

  • He could go with his plan to have a sex change, and will most likely be turned off when he realises that it would require at least a year of therapy and no less than 18 months (possibly many more) of estrogen treatments before he goes under the knife. That is, if he even gets approved, which I doubt would happen.
    {*}He could accept his homosexuality, but, really, it would be virtually impossible for him to get over his phobia of male nudity.
  • He could deny it. If he can deny a connection between Autism and Asperger's, why wouldn't he deny it?
 
Re: What if Chris could be convinced of having been turned g

Rainbows. Rainbows everywhere.

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Re: What if Chris could be convinced of having been turned g

He'd probably pull some shit out of his a Actually, on second thought, I'm not comfortable with using that metaphor when talking about Chris.

He'd make something up that'd counter this "revelation" (like a message from GodBear, or a prophetic dream), or declare that "his mind is closed" on the matter, or that he "used to be" gay but no longer is, or he'd sigh and declare that "his mind is a blank" and expect people to change the topic, or something similar. It runs counter to his established sense of self, so he'd just reject it outright - maybe he'll tardrage about it, yeah, but that wouldn't change the end result. This has happened every time he was confronted with a mildly unpleasant fact, so why would this be different?
 
Instead of a bent duck, she would have deformed boobies. And she would wear a fake dick instead of fake breasts while Bollywood dancing.
 
Re: What if Chris could be convinced of having been turned g

Chris is already gay. He just won't admit it.
 
Re: What if Chris could be convinced of having been turned g

One time I could have "turned" gay.

It did not work for me. Homosexuality is a choice.
 
Re: What if Chris could be convinced of having been turned g

"Chris: Yeah. [Brief pause] I mean, I may as well go ahead and say it, because it's a fact that's been on my mind for long time I mean. I'd sooner have a sex change before I would ever turn into a homo."

http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Mumble_1
 
Backwards Harvester said:
How bout dressed up as 'Mr. Popo' Like in that one video.... Shame the Place has been closed or moved.
Click to expand...
Well, if it has, that would probably be the end of the Game PLACe saga. Do you really think Our Pet Lolcow would bother to look up its new location? And, seriously, after getting thoroughly trounced in court after 10/28, I would be surprised if even he tried to contest it again.
 
Re: What if Chris could be convinced of having been turned g

Batman said:
Surely you mean that homosexuality is not a choice?
Click to expand...

I hope he meant what you said.

Also, even if trolls managed to make him believe that, nothing would change, maybe he would hire another hooker, but not really .
 
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