Containment What If?

Satan would kick him out and send him to heaven. Burning :briefs: don't tie the room together.
 
Likely would be booted up to purgatory, since he is not quite evil enough for hell, but not nearly good enough for heaven...

There he would likely float around for a few centuries, before his sins were purged away
 
Even if Snyder didn't have a restraining against Fatty, I think it's a pretty good bet that Snyder has either informed his employees about Chris or has a picture of him posted near the register saying ' not allowed in store'.
 
Hold on a second, a tubby, egotistical guy who makes threats and proclamations of power that he could never back up, spends loads of money on useless shit, demands worship from his followers and that they ignore the overwhelming negative publicity about him, is reliant on the few friends he has to get him out of trouble but is almost entirely ungrateful? He'd be Kim Il-Sung.

DykesDykesChina said:
Da Pickle Monsta said:
All joking aside, I really wish that Chris could take a trip to another country, if only to see if it could expand his horizons a little bit. If he could behave himself, I could see him really enjoy visiting Japan, South Korea, or even Thailand.
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I'd invite him to Germany... but our traditional customs may be too much for him...


(cuz they're sorta NSFW)
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Man, I went to the wrong part of Germany.

Barb: Origins

Re: What if Chris could be convinced of having been turned g

Most likely he'd point-blank refuse to accept it. He already lives in fear of being turned gay, so he'd probably assume he could just as easily be turned straight again. Honestly, given how scared he is of male nudity, I think he has an element of bi-curiosity and is just too naive to realise that this doesn't mean he has to dive face-first into another man's ass.

However, if he did decide that he had been irrevocably turned gay, I suspect he'd go all the way - lots of videos about how great it is being gay, he'd whine how much gays are persecuted, he'd start wearing leather and Godbear help us, might even attempt to grow a moustache. The Tomgirl saga showed that once Chris joins a subculture, man, he goes for it.

He might even get laid. There's a guy in my theatre group who's gay. He's also quite obviously autistic, rather odd-looking and doesn't have the best personal hygiene in the world, yet he's constantly getting laid. I'd find out how he does it and email Chris with the details.
 
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He'd probably have got to where he is now a little more quickly. For a brief, golden period he genuinely thought he had millions of fans and that stunning teenage girls would happily throw themselves at him. Without that, he'd probably have figured out what a loser he is a bit sooner.
 
Tragi-Chan said:
Hold on a second, a tubby, egotistical guy who makes threats and proclamations of power that he could never back up, spends loads of money on useless shit, demands worship from his followers and that they ignore the overwhelming negative publicity about him, is reliant on the few friends he has to get him out of trouble but is almost entirely ungrateful? He'd be Kim Il-Sung.
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Kim Il-Sung was at least a competent military leader. I think you mean Kim Jong-Il, or Kim Jong-Un
 
There's really very little to suggest that the trolls had THAT big of an impact on him in the long run. Consider the list he made of everything that's given him the pricklywicklies over the past years, wherein the trolls were given nary a mention. Maybe it shouldn't surprise, considering he barely met any of them in person. I'll say he'd probably be a lot less paranoid, but he'd still be remarkably stupid, he'd still try to blame anyone he possibly could for his shit life, he'd still be a part-time public nuisance... Pretty much all the things we know about Chris that make him Chris would be left in-tact.
 
Re: What if Chris could be convinced of having been turned g

Batman said:
Even if trolls managed to convince Chris he was gay and he accepted it, he wouldn't be any happier. He'd be like a lot of closeted homosexuals, uncomfortable with who he is, wanting desperately to be 'normal' despite the impossibility of obtaining that desire and possibly facing some deep rooted psychological issues stemming from his inability to 'come out'.

Basically, he'd be like he is now. Being gay would, for Chris, be no different to being autistic.
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This ^
Chris is too stupid or too lazy to do something about anything, if he's "straight" he doesn't do anything about it, if he was gay, he wouldn't do anything about it, other than tardrage on public places and on the internet.
 
Mourning Dove said:
Instead of a bent duck, she would have deformed boobies. And she would wear a fake dick instead of fake breasts while Bollywood dancing.
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Yeah I was wondering about that. Would Christina have some rachni queen looking vagina or something?

ehfwmww1mti_o_mass-effect-3-walkthrough-attican-traverse-the-rachni.jpg
 
John Daly the Golfer said:
He would be a king. Absolute monarch means king or ruler.
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What if Chris were an emperor? Like the Holy Roman Emperor (INB4 Voltaire quote) or the Ottoman Emperor?

I think the second one fits him rather well. Ottoman Emperors had some odd behaviors (Like the one who wore loud shoes so the women would know to leave before he got there)
 
If he was naive as he was years ago he Curse-ye-ha-me-HA'd Mary Lee Walsh, he may have tried to do what Cartman did on the South park episode' Good Times With Weapons'... With hilarious results

Poison_Ivy said:
Honestly, every time I see Chris wearing something mom would wear or wearing girls clothes, I seriously think he's Norman Bates.
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I cringe whenever I think about him wearing Barb's clothes.... Or underwear...
 
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