Containment What If?

The witch would lure him into her house and hold him captive till he was small enough to fit in the oven.
"Stick out your little finger, so I can see how thin you've-- Is that a McNuggets box in there??"
*stress sigh*
 
Trombonista was Chris the whole time. It's fine now because we've taken control of the account and supplanted her with our own operative now.
 
9 kids, 10 different fathers.

Once Chris*tina realized that having a baby got her government money and being pregnant meant you got to boss people around to an extent she would become a professional baby factory. And she'd find this out, female Chris getting accidentally pregnant is only a matter of when, not if.

So she'd have an army of neglected children to project her narcissistic ego into right up until the point where they start to develop their own personalities and opinions. At that point they would face the total and unequivocal rejection by their mother, who would then move on down the line to her newer, less willful spawn.

What if his original tripod Sonichu page never got traffic from outside of his home town? What would he be like now? What would his life be like?

I imagine he'd be less paranoid (just less, his family was inventing conspiracies to mess with them long before one existed), and there's a possibility he might still being drawing Sonichu comics but I don't see a substantial change.

I think the direction his love quest would take would be the biggest difference. I imagine he'd still probably be out doing some variation of the sign thing. Barb may or may not still tell him he looks retarded doing so in this universe but I think without the influence of trolls he'd just have found a loophole to let him do precisely the same thing while still "technically" obeying barb. Like if she told him holding a cardboard sign made him look retarded he'd make one out of wood.
 
The CWCki would not exist and neither would this site. Someone else would be the guy that Chris is, with or without any of his attributes. You know someone would have been the guy who circumstance would have guided this way. Who it would be is anyone's guess.
 
He might have still quit Sonichu, because continuing it would have been too much STRESS. It just might not have happened as soon.
 
Aliester Crowley said:
The CWCki would not exist and neither would this site. Someone else would be the guy that Chris is, with or without any of his attributes. You know someone would have been the guy who circumstance would have guided this way. Who it would be is anyone's guess.
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I love this theory coming from Aliester Crowley. Are you proposing that Chris is some kind of semi-divine archetype? That Christian Weston Chandler is merely the current incarnation of some kind of lolcow divinity, one that would find a way to embody itself with or without Chris?

If not, can you be now>?
 
He'd probably be much happier than he is today, since there's no trolls to troll him.
 
Uzumaki said:
Aliester Crowley said:
The CWCki would not exist and neither would this site. Someone else would be the guy that Chris is, with or without any of his attributes. You know someone would have been the guy who circumstance would have guided this way. Who it would be is anyone's guess.
Click to expand...

I love this theory coming from Aliester Crowley. Are you proposing that Chris is some kind of semi-divine archetype? That Christian Weston Chandler is merely the current incarnation of some kind of lolcow divinity, one that would find a way to embody itself with or without Chris?

If not, can you be now>?
Click to expand...
Yes and no.

Chris best fits the archetype of a Buddhist deva, with delusions and bound up in the prison of false reality. I can say this with as good a knowledge that one can have from reading the CWCki and watching his videos. He lacks the power of a deva, so the comparison can only go so far. Perhaps he can save himself, but I'm pretty sure he would end up in worse situations as time goes on. The belief in 8 realms of Buddhism is a unique thing just by it's self and on it's own merits.
 
Uzumaki said:
9 kids, 10 different fathers.

Once Chris*tina realized that having a baby got her government money and being pregnant meant you got to boss people around to an extent she would become a professional baby factory. And she'd find this out, female Chris getting accidentally pregnant is only a matter of when, not if.

So she'd have an army of neglected children to project her narcissistic ego into right up until the point where they start to develop their own personalities and opinions. At that point they would face the total and unequivocal rejection by their mother, who would then move on down the line to her newer, less willful spawn.
Click to expand...
Octomum 2.0 (thankfully without the porn).
 
Hasharin said:
I remember CWC was on the forum that got TOS'd under the name lumberingjack but got julaayed and banned shortly after it was revealed who he was.
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Yeah, but all what he did under that nickname was informing us about the newest Facebook post and then he became silent and used the account just to get DA EVIDENCE to show in the court. However, he had another profile, active somewhere during the summer, it was paintingatree. He managed to write something more, but it was his typical hit-and-run- he posted rarely and never in the same thread again. People thought it was someone trying hard to impersonate Chris, because of course he was defending himself, accused Snyder of ruining his life and pretended to have troll's remorse, urging people to leave him alone because it's gone too far. As for defending himself, he reacted to some posts so emotionally that he seemed to be forgetting about his disguise. Perhaps someone can provide more details.
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Paintingatree was pretty great. What sticks out to me was when we were talking about how Chris would do in court. His answer was basically "He will be quiet and answer in a quick and polite manner" or something like that. When we got reports of how he did actually act, hilarity.
 
Well let us assume he doesn't know I'm a chick. Like in that movie She's The Man that I don't remember.
I would force him to take a bath everyday, he can't use any of that axe shit in my house because of my animals, glade plug ins are okay as long as they're not in the same room.
So then he has to stay as far away from my animals as possible because my tarantula can be dangerous to an idiot who wants to poke her (the worst thing her venom can do is give you a fever though) my hermit crabs are delicate, him going near my frogs may very well kill them with his tons of body spray and he wouldn't even be able to think about disturbing my nice planted aquarium that will eventually contain a dwarf puffer fish which are very delicate.
And then he might try to murder my spider while I'm sleeping like when he ran over a snake he thought was venomous with his car. And then he'd have to shill out 120$ for another tarantula and I'd need additional conselling because I would wake up to a horrible scene of spider guts on the floor.
But this is why they sell combination locks to keep manbabies and children away from your grumpy spiders.
 
What if Chris gets into "Social Justice"?

I mean, think about it, it's really the only place where his "tomgirl" ideas would be supported. That, and he'd fit in perfectly with all the other nuts on Tumblr.
 
Re: What if Chris gets into "Social Justice"?

He's still too overprivileged in their eyes because he is a white male.


It's retarded, just nod and say aye.
 
What do you think would happen if Chris was given free reign over time and space?

My guess is that he would accuse the Daleks of being 'dang, dirty trolls', and then attempt to drive the TARDIS into them, all while flipping them off. I also think he would travel alone, as he would be unable to find a 'boyfriend-free companion'. Also, I think that he would regenerate fairly quickly. He'd probably be killed by an alien while trying to get his pen knife out to fight them.
 
He'd never leave the TARDIS, he'd just play the vidya in one of the TARDIS's many rooms and meanwhile, the entire universe destroys itself several times over.
 
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