Containment What If?

[Anonimo]

Well, we would probably be making jokes about Barb being the stereotypical overprotective Jewish mother I guess...

 

[Meeko]

There's a slight chance that Chris might have gone after a woman a few years older than him, as he'd likely buy into the stereotype that Jewish women over the age of 30 will marry/date anyone because it's better than being single. It'd feed into the mentality he took with Meg, where he probably assumed that she'd go for him because she couldn't get anyone else.

 

[fuzzypickles]

There's a slight chance that Chris might have gone after a woman a few years older than him, as he'd likely buy into the stereotype that Jewish women over the age of 30 will marry/date anyone because it's better than being single. It'd feed into the mentality he took with Meg, where he probably assumed that she'd go for him because she couldn't get anyone else.

If his parents were more observant Jews, they might actually arrange a marriage for Chris at 18, but then again, they might skip that step if they know about Chris's failure to conform to community norms. They may even skip out on giving him a bar mitzvah!

 

[Anonimo]

I'll be honest and say that if Chris and Borb were Jewish, then they would probably remind me so much of my dad's family that it would be uncanny. Perhaps if Chris were to acquire a financially successful career, do you suppose Barb would tighten the purse strings as well as the apron stings?

 

[Coldgrip]

There's a slight chance that Chris might have gone after a woman a few years older than him, as he'd likely buy into the stereotype that Jewish women over the age of 30 will marry/date anyone because it's better than being single. It'd feed into the mentality he took with Meg, where he probably assumed that she'd go for him because she couldn't get anyone else.

Chris would go for an older woman now if she showed interest in him. Fatty isn't picky

This assumes of course that he didn't think she was a troll.

And that any woman would want him.

 

[Meeko]

True, now that he's realized that women aren't going to go for him, Chris would likely jump all over any woman who was genuinely interested in him and was deemed to be "not a troll". I was more thinking that Chris would have gone for an older woman while he was still in his earlier, pickier phase where he'd only take a rich younger woman that was h/w proportionate.

I can't help but wonder what Chris would be like at a speed dating event. We all know that the most obvious answer would be that he'd wimp out before he even began because of how phobic he can be of high stress situations, but I just can't help but get a little curious about what it'd be like if he were to really go into it with the mindset that he'd try hard to be social (and that he had a little liquid courage beforehand to help bolster his resolve).

It's also be worth wondering how long he'd last with some of the singles groups in the area such as the one linked below. I think that they'd put up with him for a little while and even be a little sympathetic at first, but he'd probably get thrown out after 1-2 meetups. They might not be able to do anything about him showing up for the ones where they go to Friday After Five, though.

http://www.meetup.com/Charlottesville-Singles-20-to-35/

 

[Ian Brandon Something]

I can't help but wonder what Chris would be like at a speed dating event.

He'd shit himself and say nothing.

 

[Le Bateleur]

What if CWC got a job as a heel at the nearest wrestling match?

It would look almost exactly like either this:

Spoiler: Insane Clown Posse get beat down

or this

 

[Kitty Chandler]

I had an interesting thought pertaining to Christian earlier and thought I would try my hand at a quality discussion thread.

I already went through all 84 some-odd pages to make sure there wasn't a similar thread and while something on page 44 was similar to what I'm about to pen exists, it quickly degraded into talking about if Bob could beat Barbara in a fist fight and immediately derailed. So my question is this: What would Christian's life been like had Bob divorced Barbara sometime right after Christian was born? Assuming he was able to gain full custody (perhaps somehow proving Barb's obvious instabilities, shrewd lawyer, sympathetic judge, etc) and was solely responsible for Christian's upbringing, do you believe that Christian would have turned out better?

I for one, favour Bob as the better parent but feel that even he buckled under the toxic environment that seems to be pervasively associated with Barbara. I feel that were she not in the picture to spoil Christian and tell him he could do no wrong, that he would have developed better, even going as far to say that he would acknowledge and attempt to overcome his autism rather than use it as a crutch for sympathy and a "get out of trouble free" card.

I feel that Bob sans Barb would have been able to raise Christian in a clean horde free home, he would have insisted on Christian taking his responsibilities seriously and stress sighs and blaming men in food themed disguises would not have sufficed, only results. Bob himself seems to have lead a decent life and his other children seem to have grown up to lead decent lives as well, so I tend to believe things would have been different if Bob were the major force in Christian's life.

Who knows? If Bob cut Christian's Internet down years before, we may not be here having these discussions.

And please, for the sake of quality, don't post things like "Chris wouldn't change because (a-log comment goes here)" or "Shit himself and do nothing" instead, I'd really like to see some quality discussion (which is what I enjoy the most about the forum) as to wether or not you believe a noticeably different Christian would had blossomed under Bob's sole parental auspices (hell even a step-mum theory is cool too.)

Moderators: if this thread is deemed unnecessary or lacking in required quality, feel free to cut it down. This is just my shot at a good discussion thread.

 

[A Random]

"If only X would happen" is indeed a wishful thing and, if Chris' issues come from Nature rather than Nurture, then we'd still have an autistic kid who has issues relating to others and may have had his sole friends paid by his own father so he wouldn't be lonely...

...but personally, I'd give a chance that Bob wouldn't care much about the autism himself, either, and even if he forces Chris to be raised in a normal environment as per what actually happened, such an attitude might've caused Chris to actually try hard and not be excused...

...or maybe Chris wouldn't change because Bob would think autism equals retard and treat Chris like one too.

 

[Xarpho]

He probably would've not be renamed.

 

[Luna]

Can you like, use paragraph breaks and proper spacing and stuff so your post is like, readable?

 

[CatParty]

Sounds like a "what if". Will merge.

 

[Kitty Chandler]

@CätPärty thanks for the merge, I had a feeling this belonged here but wasn't entirely sure.

@Luna sorry for the sloppy post, fixed for legibility.

@Pigeon Crow
If Bob is as old fashioned as he seems, the autism wouldn't have been treated as carte blanche for Christian to act as we all know.
In short, my theory hinges on negative behaviour being met with appropriate negative consequences and good behaviours being met with positive reinforcement and desirable life results. Thus, Bob minus the 'Lax.

 

[normankrasner]

What if Virginia had a high school exit exam in 2000? Would Chris had been able to pass that?

 

[Kitty Chandler]

What if Virginia had a high school exit exam in 2000? Would Chris had been able to pass that?

He would put in minimal effort and either pass it just barely or fail it and Borb would then threaten the school board with lawsuits. The theme here seems to be pass Chris along quietly so I don't see the school stopping at the point of being so close to getting rid of him. Besides graduation was basically promised.

 

[Marvin]

"If only X would happen" is indeed a wishful thing and, if Chris' issues come from Nature rather than Nurture, then we'd still have an autistic kid who has issues relating to others and may have had his sole friends paid by his own father so he wouldn't be lonely...

...but personally, I'd give a chance that Bob wouldn't care much about the autism himself, either, and even if he forces Chris to be raised in a normal environment as per what actually happened, such an attitude might've caused Chris to actually try hard and not be excused...

...or maybe Chris wouldn't change because Bob would think autism equals exceptional individual and treat Chris like one too.

It's not whether or not Chris would be autistic, it's whether or not Chris would be... Chris. Taking Barb out of the picture? There's a very solid chance Chris wouldn't be Chris without her.

 

[FifthColumn]

So what if Chris got a job as a Summer camp counsler? Lets say it is an outdoors camp for kids aged 8-12, complete with canoes, arts + crafts, campfires, etc.

Lets say the head counseler hired Chris, not knowing what sort of mess he was getting into. How would Chris handle helping with a group of little kids ( he wouldnt be in charge of them completely thankfully)

What sort of shenanigans might ensue?

 

[Gawker]

I'm not sure if this goes here exactly or not, as it's mostly speculation but it's not quite a 'what if...' question.

My roommate and I were discussing 'Crystal', and the oddness of Crystal being both Chris's 'twin' and also being the name of his 'daughter'.

My roommate suggested that it's possible that when he had the dream that the name wasn't decided, and that he chose it later. Which may be true, but something else occurred to me-

• 'Crystal' is not really the obvious choice for a female twin- knowing Chris and his laziness when it comes to naming things (See Simonchu vs Simonla as an example, or 'Naitsirhc'). A more obvious choice for him would of been Christina- and even when discussing why he chose the name, he said it sounded 'similar to mine, but with a nice ring to it'- which knowing how important his name is to him, something 'important' must of imprinted 'Crystal' in his mind
  
• He called 'Crystal' an 'illustrious metal'
• Chris loves Pokemon

Pokemon Crystal was the first Pokemon game that allowed the player to choose a female trainer, and came out shortly after Pokemon Gold and Silver (which are both actually named after metals- which I can see as 'leading' him to believe crystals are also metals).

I speculate that when Chris got Pokemon Crystal (and I have no doubt that he bought and played it), he chose the female protagonist, which may of put into his head the idea of "what if I were a girl?", or "what if I had a female counterpart?", and embedded the idea that Crystal = female to him.

Just thoughts.

 

[The Maxx]

So what if Chris got a job as a Summer camp counsler? Lets say it is an outdoors camp for kids aged 8-12, complete with canoes, arts + crafts, campfires, etc.

Lets say the head counseler hired Chris, not knowing what sort of mess he was getting into. How would Chris handle helping with a group of little kids ( he wouldnt be in charge of them completely thankfully)

What sort of shenanigans might ensue?

Chris would spend all his time trying to get with the female counselors, which would cause all of them to hide. Then there would be an accident with one of the kids drowning due to lack of supervision, and then......

Spoiler: DUN DUN DUN