Containment What If?

If you could make a Chris Chan anime, who would you put in it? Who'd be the main villain? Who would you cut from the cast? What would the plot be?
 
What if Bob discreetly paid a prostitute $500 every week to pretend to be a "boyfriend-free girl" who was interested in Chris's "attraction sign" and had sex with him, all the while pretending to a legit sweetheart?
 
If you could make a Chris Chan anime, who would you put in it? Who'd be the main villain? Who would you cut from the cast? What would the plot be?

Jiheishou Shippai Senshi Kurisu-chan no Densetsu na Daibouken

(translator's note: Autistic Fail Warrior Chris-chan's Legendary Adventure)
 
What if Chris woke up one day to find that his arms had permanently turned blue?
 
What if Chris was actually right about the parallel universe bullshit he keeps blabbing about and he brings back sonichu to become the dictator of the United States.
 
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