Containment What If?

What if Chris found a Time Machine?
He would go back in time and fuck up his life 10x better than he does now. Becoming as big of a fuck up as Chris is takes time and energy.

I could see young Chris now... That young, fresh-faced autistic boy with a love for video games and he sees this wild-haired crazy cat lady looking guy coming at him screaming about "the internet", "trolls" and "becoming a tomgirl with a lesbian soul". Chris would go running behind Barb and Bob would use his old man man strength to beat the ever-loving tar out of Chris.

Chris getting a time machine would lead to a cosmic righting of the universe.
 
What if Chris played League of Legends?
Chris would pick a really obvious "Hey, look at me, I'm Christian Weston Chandler!" name, and play a Champion with an extremely girly design, like Jinx (flapper skin). He would stink at the game, perhaps able to best children, and never qualify for tournaments. He'd lose interest in a month.
 
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