Containment What If?

What if Chris bought replica samurai armor?
With his fondness for walls of text and his ego, I know exactly what his helmet would look like...
if you can read this you don't need glasses.jpg
Only it would state his entire name.

What if Chris-Chan was born in a Nordic country?
I was contemplating linking the video of that weird finnish guy that rants about licorice pipes... then realized he fucking freaks me out and decided to spare you people.

Also, the anchuent prophecy would be originating from some ancient viking clan involving a magical nasal-helmet.
 
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What if Chris decided to take up an instrument and somehow managed to be better than Monica Punk?
 
I was contemplating linking the video of that weird finnish guy that rants about licorice pipes... then realized he fucking freaks me out and decided to spare you people.
UncleSamPatriot? That guy's a hoot, he's legitimately mentally retarded and might be physically more disturbing than Classic Chris but he's got actual friends and a gf, I think.
 
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What if Chris had a Stand? What would his ability be? Would he succumb to Dio's Charisma or stay on the straight path?
 
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