Containment What If?

What if Kengle is a demonic extradimensional creature who is seeking a collection of lolcow souls?
 
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What if Chris married Celine Dion?

"My Fart Will Go On" (duet performed by Christian Weston Chandler and Celine Dion)

What if Chris was the one who meditated under the Bodhi Tree for years to learn the true meaning behind pain and suffering and achieve spiritual enlightenment?
 
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What if Chris pulls a Basic Instinct crotch shot during the trial?

Everyone in the court will throw up or even worse, Chris' indecent exposure would cause a crack to from between his legs and trigger an apocalyptic earthquake that would destroy the whole planet.
 
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