Containment What If?

Don't know if it's been already asked, but what if Chris was the actual mayor of Ruckersville? Or politician in general?
 
What if everything Chris touched turned to gold?

Chris would have offed himself as soon as it dawned on him that this would mean that he would never be able to play Vidya or DS again.

Barb’s weird habit of spooning with her grown son would have turned her into a 500 lb solid gold Snorlax.

Bob, finally free of the autistic ropes tying him down for all these years, would melt Barb into 1 ounce bars, and sell them.

The ol’ lumberjack would live to 102 and spend the remainder of his life cruising the Carribean in a yacht, hiring the finest Jazz performers, and getting epic amounts of pussy.
 
Don't know if it's been already asked, but what if Chris was the actual mayor of Ruckersville? Or politician in general?
Ruckersville doesn't have a mayor; it's unincorporated.

Chris running for office could actually be funny, especially because it would cause less online people to pay some attention to him, but there's too much paperwork and stuff for him to figure out on his own. Seeing some autist try to drag Chris through a presidential campaign (or congressional gubernatorial, etc) might be entertaining, though.
 
Ruckersville doesn't have a mayor; it's unincorporated.

Chris running for office could actually be funny, especially because it would cause less online people to pay some attention to him, but there's too much paperwork and stuff for him to figure out on his own. Seeing some autist try to drag Chris through a presidential campaign (or congressional gubernatorial, etc) might be entertaining, though.
Ey, can't be worse than our current options.

What if Chris owned Mojang?
 
Not sure what the gun laws are in VA. But one thing I thought of that scared me if what if Chris had a license to carry and owned guns? How long before he'd shoot someone with it when he got upset?
 
Not sure what the gun laws are in VA. But one thing I thought of that scared me if what if Chris had a license to carry and owned guns? How long before he'd shoot someone with it when he got upset?

Chris is too much of a pussy to own or handle a gun. If he had one, I reckon there’s a pretty good chance he managed to injure or shoot himself with it.

Like by playing with the gun at home, shooting at an imaginary Clyde Cash, but forgetting that the gun is loaded.

What if Chris’s dream of having an office job and a daughter named Crystal was actually a prophetic dream from God?
 
What if Fox made a new reality show called: AMERICA’S NEXT GREAT LOLCOW, and Chris was the host and chief judge?

Who’d the other judges be?
 
What if Chris finally convinced Barb to clean the garbage In their House and get on an episode of Hoarders? 14 Branchland Court Is no doubt filthy, but there have been definitely been far worse shitholes from far more deranged hoarders and ill people that have been documented on that show. It wouldn't take too much of an effort to get the place habitable compared to a lot of houses in poorer districts of America.
 
How would Chris fare if he was aboard the Titanic when it sank?
probably fine because he'll embrace it as the merge completing. Probably tries to calm people down by spounting "Don't worry everyponyone, we're all going to be OCs soon!" while everyone is freezing and drowning and wondering wtf he's talking about.
 
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