Containment What If?

What if Chris and Monica Punk were in a hell in a cell style tag match against Tyce and Jace? In addition Jessi Slaughter is the referee, Sammyclassicsonicfan is the ring announcer, and Nick Bate is on commentary. And all if any charges made against them would be dropped if they actually show up, and those with a clean slate are allowed to receive one bag of drugs of their choosing as payment.
 
What if somebody tried to give Sonichu a serious origin ala Batman: Year One?

It wouldn't be far off from this:

Christ, he looks familiar.
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