Containment What If?

What if Chris was the ninja turtles long lost brother?
 
What if Chris was the ninja turtles long lost brother?
He would finally have an excuse to eat loads of pizza all day long and he'd enjoy living in the sewers.

What if Chris was under the impression he had 6 more months to live, would he try and turn his life around?
Knowing Chris, he would probably shit himself and do nothing, but he might also start going to Impulse every single day to speed up the process of finally getting china.
 
What if Chris was on a game show like Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy?
 
What if Chris was Iranian?
FACK THE MICHAEL SNYDER!! HE NO GOOD JEW JABRONI LIKE THAT FACKIN' BRIAN BLAIR!! I SUPLEX HIM, PUT HIM IN THE CAMEL CLUTCH, FACK HIS ASS, BREAK HIS BACK AND MAKE HIM HUMBLE!!"

"SONICHU, NUMBER ONE! ROSECHU, NUMBER ONE! CLYDE CASH AH-PTOOEY!"
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What if Chris became a private detective? A police detective?
He would be a top-tier privet detective, and Len Shaner would hire him to dox the trolls. An argument would break out over whether the trolls work for the railroad or 4_cent_garbage.
 
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