Containment What If?

What if OPL had the exact same autism, egotism, narcissism, and overall lack of common sense borne out of lazy parental coddling, but with an IQ of 300+? (The highest recorded is 230, for reference.) What if Chris still shat himself, but did so while composing symphonies and inventing new branches of mathematics with minimal effort? What if astrophysics was like times tables to Chris? What if Chris could become fluent in some moonspeak language like Japanese within a couple of weeks? What if Chris could paint the Sistine Chapel ceiling with the bare minimal amount of exertion he pours into Sonichu? What if Chris had a fourth retinal cone allowing him to vividly illustrate Sonichu with millions more colors than the vast majority of humans are able to perceive? And what if, in spite of all this, he still failed miserably at attracting an 18-21 year old, smoke free, white, blonde/brunette boyfriend-free girl with his elegantly written, exquisitely illustrated attraction manifesto?
 
Well, you know he'd waste all his talents. Plenty of normal geniuses do it.

I know this supposed language "genius" on YouTube who gets into fights with other people online and loves to ask them for their academic credentials when they have a different opinion from his, although he's never disclosed his own academic credentials and seems to lack basic knowledge in his field. I imagine Chris would do something like that, IOW, he'd be a troll and an insufferable boor.

He'd spend all his time online trolling and getting into intellectual arguments with people and when he's backed into a corner start bragging about his IQ and about how his opponent has no credentials. This is what he'd do instead of playing vidya.

Of course, when people tried to troll him, he'd be able to countertroll successfully.
 
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If Chris was an excellent cook, the first thing he would do is clean himself and not just his hands. If one was to sample his food and caught a whiff of his b.o. then they would assume that the food is tainted because it was cooked by a man with terrible hygene.

Crazy Pacer said:
Luckily I've played through Fallout 1 enough to know how to deal with this situation! Hopefully theres a nuke helpfully located under 14 BC, put there for some reason by the monster himself.
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And if there isn't then hopefully there are enough firearms in there to kill. Just like with Fallout 1, aside from the nuke, there was the Master and you didn't have to sneak past him and set off a nuke when you could keep shooting him with a plasma rifle.

If the hoard was to ever fuse with Chris and gain sentience, then it might inherit some of Chris' traits. Sure it could pick up his desire of destroying the trolls but it could instead just waste its time trying to play vidya and crashing to slumber. It may consume the food and garbage but it would also try to play some PS3 and try to taunt trolls around it. If anything, the U.S. military will wipe the hoard monster from the face of the earth without using too much firepower since it has some if not many of Chris' traits and abilities.
 
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We'd get this. It'd probably be wearing either a clown shirt or a skirt though.
 
They would live in a tiny apartment
Most likely would share a bed
Lots of spooning
The hoard would have consumed their living space by the time Chris is maybe six
Child services would take him away
Barb would cry and act like a victim
Chris would then be raised by either the government or a couple that could give him the help he needed as a special needs child
Either way he'd be much better off ._...
 
i think it's pretty clear from her past behaviour that Chris would just grow up thinking that some other guy was his father.

exball said:
Was re-watching the house tour videos and it made me wonder, what would happens if 14BC burned down?
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that place would burn for a fucking month.

exball said:
How do you think Chris and Barb would live without the hoard?
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irrelevant. they'd never make it out of the blaze.
 
Ruckersville is evacuated due to the horrible stench.
 
One word: Methane. From Charb's butts, dog feces, decomposing organic matter.

One bright fall morning, the citizens of Ruckersville heard a muffled thunderclap and saw a mushroom-shaped fire column rise at the outskirts of town. Seconds later, smoldering video games, burning love dolls and all sorts of singed, half-molten or flaming garbage began to fall out of the sky.
 
In the comics, Chris would create the anti-straight vaccine and employ Magi-Chan to spy on those DANG, DIRTY HETERO'S.
 
It's taken this long before anyone's suggested it would just make Bob an even more horrible person? I'm disappointed.
 
Chris would be too busy playing vidya to notice, and barb would be too busy sleeping. But on the bright side, the hoard would finally get cleaned up
 
Well, then Chris wouldn't be the only thing in the house that was flaming. ]:(P
 
Count groudon said:
Chris would be too busy playing vidya to notice, and barb would be too busy sleeping. But on the bright side, the hoard would finally get cleaned up
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Well yeah but then the hoard would slowly become one with the oxygen and we would probably get some sort of Zombie outbreak. On the plus side zombie lumberjack would be awesome.
 
Like current day Chris he would be sad and lonely. Because gay, straight, male, female, we all have standards. Chris is generally below them for everyone.
 
Christ-ian said:
IcyHotWings said:
Yeah, the latter in fact. Some gay guys actually welcome people normally deemed unattractive with open arms. I actually have a thing for big guys, so if Chris was bathed more often, stopped shitting his pants and became a little more open minded, I might even find him attractive.
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I mean, obviously if you take his situation and personality into account I think 99% of all gay men would back off, but the point still remains that he's infinitely more attractive to men than to women.
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Yeah, but that's not saying much. If Chris were gay, he wouldn't get the men he'd want. He'd get the "creeps". Old, closeted married men with gigantic guts who don't take care of themselves at all. Quite frankly, you're better off staying virginal at that point, than taking a lacklustre night with one of the creeps.
 
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