What would you do if you "had the money"?

[YourFriendlyLurker]

I am so ridiculously boring with my super grand plan but I would:

1) get the fuck out from the shithole I live in
2) move my fam out from the shithole they live in
....
10) would invest into KF just to make ppl seethe lol

PS would probably continue working cause I kinda like my job

 

[Puff]

Get a machine gun manufacturer license and a machine shop.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Pay off my mortgage, then set up trust funds for my nieces and nephews. Oh, and set up my dad for whatever is left of his life, too.

 

[JosephStalin]

The MegaMillions is now $1.1 billion, am sure it will increase before Friday's drawing. If you live somewhere that has the game, buy a ticket. A couple of bucks could change your life forever. One caveat - if you cannot tell people "no", don't play. The lottery winners who utterly fuck up their good fortune are the ones who couldn't tell anyone "no". Have no problem telling anyone "no". Remember, it isn't how much you get, it's how much you keep.

Winning that much money solves some problems, causes others. You need to keep your wits about you, get good lawyers/accountants/investment firm. If they were your friends before, they are your friends now. If you didn't know them before, you don't know them now, and you don't have to know them. You're the boss, and never forget it.

Should I win, have the usual plans. Help family and friends, buy a nice house, some cars, jewelry for the wife, do a lot of traveling, invest for future generations of Stalins.

 

[DeadwastePrime]

lotteries are just used as an excuse to tax the poor without taxing the poor and your chances to win are 1 in 200 million

 

[Gig Bucking Fun]

Start a YouTube channel where I do outrageously expensive dumb shit. One of my videos would be a reverse scam, where the first person to send me a $50 “transfer fee” would actually win a million bucks. Seems like fun.

 

[Doji]

I'd have the most boring life and die, I'd probably buy that service where they put your head in a jar in the hopes that in the future I'll be able to keep prolonging my boring existence.

 

[JosephStalin]

lotteries are just used as an excuse to tax the poor without taxing the poor and your chances to win are 1 in 200 million

Very likely. But it's an easy and inexpensive, at least for me, way to dream of what could be done with that much money. People do win, may as well be me. At least I will appreciate it and use it reasonably wisely.

 

[Zirnwyb]

Pay off my grandparents mortgage, get myself a nice metal detector and all necessary accessories, and probably get myself a Volcanic Pistol for display since they're my favourite gun. Maybe a few ancient swords too. I'm honestly kinda boring lol

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

First off, I'd have to make sure no one knew I'd won the money, and the people that did know, that I'm giving money to, would have to sign iron-clad NDAs to keep their big mouths shut about where they got it from. If they blab, I cut them out of my life permanently. I would also require everyone I give money to to attend wealth counseling, so they learn not to be coom-brained idiots about their newfound wealth.

I would like to stay in my town and restore a certain local mansion, turning it into a destination for weddings and events. It'd look kick-ass all decorated for Christmas. I would also give money to pet charities and to help the poor with car repair and dental issues, two things that charities really don't cover around here. I'd also like to donate to official charities, but most of them in my town love giving money to single mothers who keep tripping and falling on sperm, and foreigners who'd probably slit my throat if the local government wasn't stuffing money down their throats. You get what you incentivize, and I'd rather give money to people who will become (or give birth to) productive members of society.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

New dumb idea: I would set up a low budget sci-fi series and put a bunch of lolcows in it. Aliens crash on earth, give some humans super powers, and a bunch of evil aliens show up to be the villains. But the big rule? No cell phones or computers. No tweeting, no instagram, none of that shit. Nothing that could give viewers any spoilers. If they want entertainment, I'll hook up a Switch and they can play Mario Party or something.

But here's the thing: I'm not telling them who else is invited. Zoe Quinn is going to meet Ethan Ralph. Bob Chipman will be on set with Jontron. And the Channel Awesome crew are going to have to deal with the fact that I also invited Doug, Brad, and TJ. And I will have cameras secretly recording everything so we can get some juicy behind the scenes arguments.

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

I would pay off all of my debts and start a war chest full of ammo and weapons so that I can prep in style. Then, if SHTF, I can establish myself as a warlord and I'd live like a Daimyo.

 

[God of Nothing]

Live off it for the rest of my life and try to have a family.

 

[Crunk Sneedler]

I'm happy with my lifestyle. I'd set aside enough to take care of my parents, consider bribing someone to let me emigrate to a nice place, and give away what I could spare.

 

[Some Badger]

Sounds gay and kiss-assey but I would probably give Null a sizable war chest so he can sue journos for libel and have the infrastructure neccesary to keep the forum up.

Oh, and buy a house with a fuckton of acreage and a shed for my guns.

 

[murph]

I would completely stop caring about what other people think and I would live happily in a castle and I would stop paying taxes because who gives a fuck if you can hire lawyers to go into that battle for you. I would just eat and get fat and not worry about a goddamned thing. I would enjoy my life and wait for death like everyone else but I'd mostly just enjoy myself.

Good luck everyone.

 

[soft breathing]

Aside from the usual buying a house, a dog etc.

I'd honestly donate a portion of it to my favorite indie game developer so they can (if they want to) put more time into their passion, work less at their day job, and maybe even hire some more people to make their games better. But I'd communicate to them that there's no pressure from my side - it's just an offer. If they want to continue making games at the pace they're currently doing it, that's also cool. They just brought a lot of joy and inspiration into my life through their games that I just want to give something back to them.

 

[$80 Nude Haircut]

Start up a car manufacturing plant that plagiarizes imitates old shitboxes from the 1990's. My goal would be to offer ordinary people extremely affordable transportation that's easy to modify or repair, has minimal computers, no modern luxuries and uses newer fuel efficiency methods & safety precautions. In my perfect world you will be able to go fast on a budget of a few grand. Models wouldn't be restricted by country either so you could drive an AE86 in Alberta or a Trans-Am in Akihabara.

 

[Zoobles]

I'd move my family to an apartment in Tokyo and walk around and eat at restaurants every day

 

[Kermit Jizz]

I'd buy various rare collectibles, film myself destroying them, and then upload the videos to relevant reddits. I'd do shit like get super expensive funkos and boil them in piss, buy 1st ed charizards and burn them, run some alpha black lotuses through paper shredders. I could entertain myself forever doing that.