What would you do if you "had the money"?

[Kheapathic]

Was talking about this with coworkers with how big the lottery has got. I'd be a quasi but more retarded Big Boss. I'd setup a set of oil derricks off the Seychelles and spend my days hunting Somali pirates for fun. Maybe even offer vacation packages for the psychos who want to go murder people, all guilt free because they're Somali pirates and only the US Government cares about them.

 

[Megatardingo]

Buy twitter and force everyone that wants to log in to type nigger in the captcha, then buy twitch delete it and put some crusty meme like never gonna give you up perpetually as well as force them all into a non-compete so they don't jump ship.

 

[m1ddl3m4rch]

I'd give @Null a billion dollar trust fund and an unlimited supply of rubenesque women with ample cankles and generous back fats.

 

[BlerdBjern]

I'd buy a boat that I could live in, get hooked up with some shit that would make it as self sufficient as possible, and then fuck off into international waters to escape from clown world, I would only ever appear on land to re-supply whatever I couldn't get out at sea.

 

[AmosCassidy]

Level the suburbs, restore the land to farmland like it was 80 years ago, grow food. Set up a food processing industry like a canning company.
Level the nearby suburb and turn it into a market square so that my woodworking and leatherworking homies can scam the shit out of tourists and city dwelling retards.
Use the money from food processing industry to get heavy machinery and build tractors locally, on the space freed after levelling another suburb.
Build a school, the next generation wishes for city dwelling comforts. Die at 95 having seen my farmland turned into suburbs by my retarded grandsons.
My grave is better than yours, though my legacy is having left more of the same into the world.

 

[Becky McDonald]

Start up a car manufacturing plant that plagiarizes imitates old shitboxes from the 1990's. My goal would be to offer ordinary people extremely affordable transportation that's easy to modify or repair, has minimal computers, no modern luxuries and uses newer fuel efficiency methods & safety precautions. In my perfect world you will be able to go fast on a budget of a few grand. Models wouldn't be restricted by country either so you could drive an AE86 in Alberta or a Trans-Am in Akihabara.

Here's an idea: real life GTA cars.
Loosely based on real life designs, so they'd be recognisable, but different enough not to be sued. You'd have to secure the rights from Rockstar, but it wouldn't matter much since we already have a real-life Bravado Banshee.

You could probably headquarter yourself somewhere in the Middle East, since they laugh at European/US rules and regulations and aren't totalitarian shitholes like China. You'd have to make CKD kits for North America due to the 15/25 year rule, but it would be worth it I think.

 

[Pargon]

Buy property far north of the 45th parallel, build a cabin with geothermal heating, solar panels and a windmill and eject from society as much as fucking possible. I’m talking “good luck tracking me down to pay taxes you fuckers” levels of off-the-grid.

 

[ATI Escapee]

Depends I guess. If I got 1k tomorrow, I would buy some quality denim jeans, shoes, have my truck looked at, and buy some tools or art supplies. Seems more feasible than lottery money, lol. If I had a disturbing amount of money suddenly, I would probably panic. Make a list of potentials including...buy my mom's house from her/for her and help out some other family members (not too many though because I wouldnt tell them how much I had...drama). Give a portion to all the animal shelters around here. Donate a bunch to various charities like Doctors without Borders and other decent ones. Use like, half of it to tip workers (who work off tips) RIDICULOUSLY well. Like. Coffee at a lil shop? Here is 300 dollars. Sonic carhop? A hundred or two for you. Homeless dude? Idc if you are scammimg me I want to feel good about myself. Here is a few hundred for you too man. Try to find people struggling with rent and school and pay off some bills for them.

 

[Beak Thing]

Depends I guess. If I got 1k tomorrow, I would buy some quality denim jeans, shoes, have my truck looked at, and buy some tools or art supplies. Seems more feasible than lottery money, lol. If I had a disturbing amount of money suddenly, I would probably panic. Make a list of potentials including...buy my mom's house from her/for her and help out some other family members (not too many though because I wouldnt tell them how much I had...drama). Give a portion to all the animal shelters around here. Donate a bunch to various charities like Doctors without Borders and other decent ones. Use like, half of it to tip workers (who work off tips) RIDICULOUSLY well. Like. Coffee at a lil shop? Here is 300 dollars. Sonic carhop? A hundred or two for you. Homeless dude? Idc if you are scammimg me I want to feel good about myself. Here is a few hundred for you too man. Try to find people struggling with rent and school and pay off some bills for them.

This is a really good approach to dealing with a sudden windfall like the lottery too. When people call a sum of money "life changing", they mean it and it's not always in a positive way. A working class person, for example, probably isn't going to be able to associate with their old friends once they're a billionaire, that kind of wealth just changes the entire dynamic and you can't really relate to them anymore.

Mo money, mo problems as I've heard. Jealousy and greed are human faults that are damn hard to overcome.

If you use the money to do acts of kindness and charity it will provide meaning and purpose and help you get through this transition in your life.

 

[NoReturn]

Quite selfishly, I'd probably also spend a chunk of it to help some associates and family members financially so they aren't potential future hazard.

 

[cybertoaster]

Freedom, I would buy my freedom.

Some of you here might be too young to get it, but one day you will feel the utter pressure of adult obligations and uncertainty, not knowing if you're going to be fired over some bullshit you did or didn't do for example, but knowing that if you stop working/can't find work you will sooner than later end up in the streets.

Being able to literally do nothing and yet continue to live as you are, being able to exist without having to take orders from anybody to keep your job, to not have to watch what you say specially in this day and age, that's a kind of freedom few achieve.

 

[Burned CDs]

I'd get rid of some people. A lot of people. I'd to my best to fix this hell scape the best i could.

 

[summerz]

I would start my own business, that's my old dream.

 

[Dread First]

Buy Cloris Leachman legally so that she may juggle beanbags for my own amusement

 

[summerz]

Some time ago I found info about company setup in UAE https://yourtaxadvice.com/offers/company-formation-in-dubai-internet-city/. I think starting business abroad in free zone could be great investment for the future. There are many advantages such as no corporate tax; possibility to obtain a residence vis, mandatory audit of companies and high ranking of Free Zone among banks and major international companies. If I had money I'd open a company in UAE.

 

[Local Degenerate]

Set up a 'night village.' Basically a part of town that's active at night. A place where night shifters and just night owls can live and do their shit in peace. Try to attract night friendly stores that are open 24 hours, all that shit.

The night shift is an untapped gold mine, I tell you.

 

[xXx: State of the Union]

I want to own a nuclear silo

I don't really need *that* much money to do it but still way more money than I currently have.

 

[CiaphasCain]

I would immediately start looking for something to do because I would undoubtedly go mad and die from a lack of purpose.

 

[William Tyndale]

I would unironically fund Josh with 6 figures a year. I’d throw Jim some money and then dedicate the rest of my money to funding right wing political groups like project veritas and Judicial Watch. I might also set up a trust fund for Ethan’s kids because god knows no one else will take care of them.

I guess this is the answer to what if I won the lottery but it still stands.

 

[Astro Loafo]

I really hated living in the 3rd world. But there was one thing. One thing that really made my day. It made everything worth it. Blue mushrooms. Tastiest fuckers. I'd do anything for them. And if I had the money I'd figure out how to farm them without a tree pine host. I'd farm them and run a blue mushroom empire.