When did you hit peak elf and why? - fantasy thread for true and honest women

Tablet County said:
People only hate elves because D&D and Peter Jackson took Tolkien's tragic, world weary elves and turned them into a bunch of self-righteous turboqueers. Warhammer at least took the self-righteous turboqueer depiction and turned their turboqueerness into a flaw rather than something to be admired.
Click to expand...
Elder Scrolls elves were turboqueers until Morrowind. Then things went batshit insane and now we've got cat people that may or may not be related to elves, black Japanese slaveowners, cannibal midgets, haughty cousin fucker Nazis, steampunk elves, disabled elves created by the steampunk elves, a god's massive shit, and magic Frenchmen. Say what you will about Bethesda. They knew how to make lore that stays with you.

The haughty cousin fuckers are hated by most of Tamriel. The slaveowners are also hated by almost everyone, especially the cat people and tree people that look like lizards. No one cares about the cannibal midgets or the magic Frenchmen. Prior to Skyrim, the midgets were mostly there for comedy. Skyrim took all the wacky stuff out and seemed to be trying to go back to what Daggerfall was doing. Minus all the nudity and maps the size of a continent.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Winner
Reactions: CeleryBread, TapewormSalesman, 2LtMashengo and 3 others
Agent Abe Caprine said:
Elder Scrolls elves were turboqueers until Morrowind. Then things went batshit insane and now we've got cat people that may or may not be related to elves, black Japanese slaveowners, cannibal midgets, haughty cousin fucker Nazis, steampunk elves, disabled elves created by the steampunk elves, a god's massive shit, and magic Frenchmen. Say what you will about Bethesda. They knew how to make lore that stays with you.

The haughty cousin fuckers are hated by most of Tamriel. The slaveowners are also hated by almost everyone, especially the cat people and tree people that look like lizards. No one cares about the cannibal midgets or the magic Frenchmen. Prior to Skyrim, the midgets were mostly there for comedy. Skyrim took all the wacky stuff out and seemed to be trying to go back to what Daggerfall was doing. Minus all the nudity and maps the size of a continent.
Click to expand...
Snow Elves, also known as Ice Elves or Ancient Falmer, were a race of Mer that once inhabited the province of Skyrim during the Merethic Era.2 They had a very advanced society and resembled the golden-skinned, white-haired, pale Altmer.3 However, centuries of underground living and Dwemer slavery twisted the race into becoming the blind, merciless, and savage Falmer.2 The possibility of surviving snow elves has never entirely been discounted,
1712938092070.png

For me it's definitely the forgotten realms series that got me into dark elves
 
Last edited:
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: 2LtMashengo, bjarven, Tzeentch and 1 other person
When all the male elves I met were disappointed that my cock isn't larger than there's
 
I played HOMM2 and 3 all the time when i was a kid,well, sometimes still,my obsession was the golden dragons from the rampart faction and those fire genies from inferno. I think i hit peak elf when bg1 came out and had a drizzt-cameo, and had like a 1 year spergsession. Even wrote a story about him for school which was a 2 page story of how he was killing his kinsmen in cool and brutal ways, which earned me a meeting with my parents and the school-nurse.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: 2LtMashengo, GreenJacket, DumbDude43 and 3 others
Frosty Fetus said:
Elves can eat shit (they literally do).
Their all so snotty and obnoxious. Always talking about how their better than everyone else despite the fact they live in trees and probably use poison ivy as toilet paper.
Click to expand...
kind of depends on the franchise. Elder scrolls elfs come in a variety, id say they are kinda cool. The fantasy genre could use something original tho, there is an oversaturation of elves, dwarves and dragons.
 
Miriam Margoyles said:
I'm just gonna say it, I think drow having black skin and white hair is fucking dumb. What, did someone just learn to invert colours in MS Paint or something?

It makes no sense and it looks silly, especially when nerds try to cosplay their heccin' cool drow OC, have to get the boot polish out, and end up looking like @RACISM's avatar.

View attachment 5890382

I actually think it makes it more interesting if dark elves and regular elves pretty much look the same, physically. You'll never know if that elf you met is going to be the lawful good 'harmony with nature' kind or the lawful evil 'stab you to death while you sleep' kind (although, admittedly, if he's dressed in all black and his armour's covered with spikes, that might give it away a bit).
Click to expand...

i'm a huge proponent of dark elves paler than snow and surface elves touching enough grass to get a bit fo tan but not too much inflame medieval accuracy spergs.

but I really I just like my sexy brown elf boys

FiveStarAce said:
The average fantasy consumer is ironically pretty afraid of anything fantastical.
Click to expand...

That explains all weird arbitrary "that has to make sense" horseshit lately. I think the need for hard magic systems and brandon sanderson ruined the genre me feels like...
 
  • Feels
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Jhonson the Two, Marsh Rabbit, Slideshow Bill and 3 others
I would like to point out to all the fat dwarf-loving autists out there that elves were better at both jewelcraft and metalcraft. Who created the silmarils? Elves. Who forged Glamdring, Orcrist, Gurthang and Sting? Elves. Who invented ithildin? Elves.

And guess what, the magnum opus of the dwarves, that most beautiful creation in all of Middle Earth, the Nauglamir, was made of jewels made by—you guessed it—elves.

Elves rule, dwarves drool into their empty beersteins. Emphasis on steins, because they're based on fucking jews.
 
  • Semper Fidelis
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: Wulfering, Aunt Carol and Layton Mysteries
Best elves

sf2-kazin.pngsf2-sarah.png

Promote Sarah to master monk and she becomes elven Chun-Li. It's awesome. I don't care if Sega altered the Shining Wisdom translation to imply that Sarah does indeed dig Kazin and still isn't pining after Bowie. They are still my elf OTP.🤗
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wulfering, holykentuckyfriedrice, knightswagger and 2 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back