Where is the line between good and bad bullying?

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I don’t think it’s particularly effective. I was bullied a lot as a kid, and none of the stuff I was bullied for really made me change those behaviors- sometimes it even made me stop positive ones. Like, whatever, bully me for drawing Pokemon cards or whatever- but I got bullied for reading and it made me stop reading in public.

What actually helped me learn to socialize and temper my most autistic behaviors was being included in a structured and disciplined activity. A sport or well-run club or musical program is much more effective at teaching important life skills and socializing than bullying, imo.
 
AndSothisIsChristmas said:
I don’t think it’s particularly effective. I was bullied a lot as a kid, and none of the stuff I was bullied for really made me change those behaviors- sometimes it even made me stop positive ones. Like, whatever, bully me for drawing Pokemon cards or whatever- but I got bullied for reading and it made me stop reading in public.

What actually helped me learn to socialize and temper my most autistic behaviors was being included in a structured and disciplined activity. A sport or well-run club or musical program is much more effective at teaching important life skills and socializing than bullying, imo.
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Anime pfp, so maybe not bullied enough!
 
Made In Lovely Kin said:
My school did zero tolerance as well, I got punished underneath that rule system. One guy kept trying to fuck with me (shoving, touching etc.), and I kept telling him to stop, but he wouldn't listen even when I warned him I was going to hit him with whatever was in my hands. OI course, he slapped me next so I used my textbook to strike him and got him really good on the face. Then he starts freaking out because he didn't think I was going to fight back, and went into a victim mode, claiming that I "jumped on him." I thought I was going to be expelled since I did hurt him until they checked the security cameras and saw the proof he was. Still got a whole lecture about how I "disgraced the school." and asked me if I would rather go to a public school. My suspension was longer than his, and they changed my schedule so I wouldn't be in the same class as him because he was "afraid of me". True or not, he did look pretty shaken, and he left the school the next year.

I forgot to give my view on bullying, when I did bully someone that wasn't picking on them, it was more hinting that they needed to do something like they needed to shower, annoying, or their breath really smelled bad. To me, the line is crossed when they genuinely cannot help it, or if it results in physical bullying.
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I fucking hate crybullies who needle you and goad you into retaliating, only to go and play the victim when you actually fight back. If there is one form of bullying that is never good, it is that.
 
I was bullied starting in prescool up through about second or third grade. A lot of physical bullying and words both. My motor skills were absolute shit compared to my peers and I have a few distintive features. I am probably spectrum adjacent but I really need to try to just eek out a a few points over the threshold for a internet self test. That bullying delayed normal social development by probably ten years.

That was bad bullying but some of it was probably needed since I have basically no social instincts but bullying really forced me to fake it and learn to read social situations. I still suck at it compared to natural but since its an intellectual effort I am probably better at some aspects of it than a natural.

There is also ribbing, hazing, testing of whatever you want to call it among men and boys which I consider good bullying. In the initial phase it's to establish a pecking order and then finding sore spots and pushing them until the word games go or almost go physical to establish limits and boundries. Then there will be intermittent poking at sore spots until they are gone or are better hidden. This done correctly will either remove irrational weak spots (so fucking what I like that back street boys song), correct bad behavior (a person never buying a round will start buying) and strengthen the person for encounters with pathological bullies looking for weakspots.

A weak person will break or remove themselves under this treatment. They would consider this sort of altruistic group strengthenimg ribbing to be plain bullying and it may be indistinguishable from actual bullying for a third party. You cant have one without the other so I am in favour of bullying.

Some of the kids you see today wouldnt survive for a week in fourth grade 30 years ago. It's not normal for a fucking twelve year old boy to be out in public with my little pony gear. It is not normal for an otherwise normie looking 15-year old to go around with hair colored puke green. Zero tolerance is a disaster that enables the freaks to not integrate and fucking cowardly psychos to goad someone into a physical fight and then get them expelled. Fuck around and find out is a law of nature and it needs to be brought back.
 
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