why are you still single - and general discussion of the dating game

[-Jack-]

Turns out I was single forever because I was dating the wrong gender lol. Turns out it's much easier to find a partner when you actually enjoy spending time around them, you have things in common and you're not scared to be alone with them.

If you're single and unhappy, try being gay. Russell Greer was actually onto something!

Not sure if you're a gay man or a dyke. But in my experience, being a gay man (fag) is harder if you're in a big city, because you end up meeting a guy on a date or hookup and turns out they've already fucked or know the last two of your exes or social circles.

 

[Bummer]

Probably been said but if you are struggling to meet women consider getting a dog. Obviously only do this after all the self improvement and learning how to treat women and shit, but it does help. Forget all the cynical game theory bullshit about displaying your value to women, dogs are just a joy to be around.vand will make you a happier person which makes you more attractive to everyone.
Also the kind of woman you will meet at a dog park are a massive step up from dating apps. For all the same reasons they make you better dogs make women better.

 

[Gian-Luca Caluga]

Not sure if you're a gay man or a dyke. But in my experience, being a gay man (fag) is harder if you're in a big city, because you end up meeting a guy on a date or hookup and turns out they've already fucked or know the last two of your exes or social circles.

A good friend of mine was showing me his Grindr conversations once to try to gross me out, and one conversation was something like:

'oh hey, you know steve madeupname, small world'

'oh, steve? yeah, he's sucking off my flatmates right now, i'll send you a pic'

The entire gay scene is like an infinite bumming Ouroboros, it seems.

 

[-Jack-]

A good friend of mine was showing me his Grindr conversations once to try to gross me out, and one conversation was something like:

'oh hey, you know steve madeupname, small world'

'oh, steve? yeah, he's sucking off my flatmates right now, i'll send you a pic'

The entire gay scene is like an infinite bumming Ouroboros, it seems.

Like everything, there are always extremes in most communities, and casual sex is for sure more common with gay men, for many reasons. That's not to say everyone is like that, are all niggers, cornstarch niggers...possibly, bad example.

I know plenty of fags, myself included who barely date, I haven't dated anyone in years or hookup because you're right, a lot of the guys on these apps like grindr, are fucking gross and mostly 60 year old men with wives.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Probably been said but if you are struggling to meet women consider getting a dog

I always try to open with something at least relevant to their interests or something more than "hi ur cute xD" which is what -they- always open with, if they finally open their fucking mouth. I've entertained low quality, early retired, "permanently in pain" diagnosed women. Women vastly below me in more than one way, and yet they'll absolutely kill the conversation or show no interest despite being the initiating or first-liking party.

However: Ever since getting a cat and putting it in a picture, they -all- comment on it. Women want to one-up or replace objects of love for a man, and it's easily done with a pet (they think). Even the most boring, uninspired women would do the whole "you should play with MY kitty instead " type shit. Things you'd not expect out of a 29-year old woman who has a car and a job. If men were born bisexual women would be fucking lost. They got zero game.

Turns out it's much easier to find a partner when you actually enjoy spending time around them, you have things in common and you're not scared to be alone with them.

I almost feel bad about writing "oh hey and I play games sometimes but I'd prefer a walk tbh lol" in my bio, knowing it's the exact kinds of triggers you'd want in a woman. Rather than seeing 20 "IG: thottymommygothyfucky22", if they wrote literally.. "I collect shrooms for a hobby" or "I eat literal shit", there'd be something to have an opinion about and something to talk about. It's the fact you match with a woman who gives you nothing to talk about, an opener with no hint of depth, and then they go "your loss" and ghost you.

Then you uninstall the app and look at your friends list of choice: Friends you've made through hobbies, happenstance, smalltalk, luck. You're ridiculing the quality those people saw in you by entertaining the lowest of fucking scum on earth because they matched you. That's the most depressing part. If you're simply holding yourself high and going "Well you don't seem engaged, good luck " and unmatch, I'd almost argue 15 mins of dating apps a day wouldn't be bad. It's once you're desperate.

I have been principally against it since it became popular, I find myself more and more alone in this position as time goes on.
One of my friends is married with a woman he met on dating app, and another has just eclipsed a year in a relationship.
They awkwardly lied at the wedding about how they met and that cemented my view on it forever.

I'd say dating apps here are some level of okay. Especially after Tinder went global during covid lockdown and all the politically charged fatties started showing up. Here, the average chick is inoffensive, slightly overweight, has a job and at least isn't doing drugs. You could do worse if you were just trying to scour the general population. I've matched with a few chicks in those 15 mins at the bottom they used Tinder and had some fun conversations. It's this (actual) FOMO that drives people for the most part I think. Few play the daily grinding game. They make an account and abuse the interaction boost before the algoryfm kicks you out.

 

[Neighborhood Curmudgeon]

I had recently tried dating a while back and realized it's not for me. It also reinforced how I don't care about being single. Everyone who's told me how great it is to be dating or married has usually been devastated by their break-ups and divorces. I'm not saying there is anything inherently wrong with being in love and having a significant other, but that most people seem to 1) overestimate how wonderful it is and 2) put all their eggs in one basket and assume it's the only way to be happy.

So I'm still single and will be this way for the rest of my life. I'm okay with that too.

 

[Celestial Peace]

I admit that sometimes I feel lonely, but when looking at what my brothers have gone and go through, cousins and uncles and aunts. I think I'm fine just the way I am right now.

Do you have any relative or friend or have you met anyone who would come up and say things like: "But if you don't have nay children what are you going to leave for this world?", "You'll have nobody to take care of you when you reach old age", "You'll have nobody to share your experiences with" or some other bullshit like that?

 

[Idiotron]

I was considering giving up entirely after my last break up but yesterday, I went to this event and met this girl I sometimes train with.
We started talking and ended up spending the whole event together.
I don't know her that well but we were talking about various stuff and she would just randomly go "yea, I did ballet and travelled Europe doing shows" or "I like martial arts too, did you know I was a national takewondo champion?"
Not only that, I was hesitant to try anything with her because I thought she was like 19 and too young for me but it turns out she's 30, she just is healthy and she never wears make up so her face looks so young.
She's smart and I can banter with her for several hours without the conversation losing steam.
She's basically perfect for me, I would be a moron if I didn't try anything.

I've already made moves to get her to start training with me, just the 2 of us, several times per week, because she wants to learn some stuff I happen to be an expert in.
Hopefully, I can get her to start dating me by the end of May.

 

[Barry Williams]

I was a very rash person when I was younger. Was an early adopter to the internet, carved a path for myself on my own as a humorist writing for lots of little projects and stuff over the years. It all started because Lowtax wouldn't hire me to write about shitty games for Something Awful (I'm being serious). I was convinced I could do it better on my own, so I did that. I made friends with a lot of people in the process and many of them were not healthy relationships. Got addicted to drugs and other unhealthy habits, went to parties with my little circles of bullshit internet friends, fucked whoever was willing because in the moment I was chasing a high and I thought I was invincible. A very common story that people tend to grow to deeply regret.

And then I slowly got older, and so did the people around me. Given that I just told you that I did a lot of stuff that was gaming and web/tech related you can probably guess which direction the people I knew started to skew politically. Well I went the opposite way, and then I was disowned by virtually everyone save for a couple of people that in hindsight maybe I should've treated a little better when we were younger. The more conservative I got, the more I adopted traditional ideals. The more I realized that I'd pissed away my entire youth doing stupid shit and the only thing I can take solace in is that I didn't catch fucking AIDS or something.

I'm open to dating, of course. But I'm in the back half of my 40's and it seems that the likelihood of me meeting someone who actually meets the standards I've set for myself now is just not an attainable goal. Not that I'm saying shit like "I will only date a 10/10 supermodel who's independently wealthy, NO FAT CHICKS" or whatever. But the traits I am looking for in a wife, things like monogamy, traditional values based in Christianity, and absolutely hating niggers are just not traits that a woman who is my age would have and still be single. Someone like that has already found her man and probably has a couple of kids that are grown adults by now. Meanwhile, the single women left who fit my age range are all coal burners with two mutt children from two different fathers who don't pay child support, they've absolutely wrecked their bodies, and despite this they still subscribe to the political leanings that got them to this dead end spot in the first place.

So, that's it. I just laugh at retards on the internet now and occasionally contribute to a project from one of those old friends I'd stayed in touch with. I will probably die alone, and due to the organic nature of the lower case "i" internet nothing I've made will stick around for any meaningful amount of time.

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

I'm in the back half of my 40's and it seems that the likelihood of me meeting someone who actually meets the standards I've set for myself now is just not an attainable goal. Not that I'm saying shit like "I will only date a 10/10 supermodel who's independently wealthy, NO FAT CHICKS" or whatever. But the traits I am looking for in a wife, things like monogamy, traditional values based in Christianity, and absolutely hating niggers are just not traits that a woman who is my age would have and still be single. Someone like that has already found her man and probably has a couple of kids that are grown adults by now. Meanwhile, the single women left who fit my age range are all coal burners with two mutt children from two different fathers who don't pay child support, they've absolutely wrecked their bodies, and despite this they still subscribe to the political leanings that got them to this dead end spot in the first place.

Nigga, you're a spent whore in his 40s who did drugs and casual sex with (soon-to-be) trannies from your fake Internet job for the better part of your adult life. You don't get to have standards. Don't be ridiculous.

 

[Cybertonia]

Nigga, you're a spent whore in his 40s who did drugs and casual sex with (soon-to-be) trannies from your fake Internet job for the better part of your adult life. You don't get to have standards. Don't be ridiculous.

Everybody can have standards. But it does adjust the probability equation that you find someone who meets your standards.

I'd like to meet someone who isn't gonna spend me into bankruptcy like my ex wife tried to do. But apparently that's a pretty high bar to clear with most of you retards who are out there these days.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

I don't know her that well but we were talking about various stuff and she would just randomly go "yea, I did ballet and travelled Europe doing shows" or "I like martial arts too, did you know I was a national takewondo champion?"

This is the kind of thing that jiggles my keys. Either finding it completely normal to humble brag about things when no other topics come to mind, or the fact they're achieved and yet somehow never garnered the social group and popularity one would think of it. Like watching the summer olympics and looking up the instagram of the world's #2 best female archer and they got like 198 followers.

Personally whenever I see 'accomplished' women like this I lose all interest. Not due to lack of confidence or what have you, but because they tend to build a life rather than a personality. Not exactly "travel and adventure", but out and about non-stop to never have to just sit with their own thoughts and be okay being bored. Thankfully all my preferences tend to fit people within my own league, though at this point they're all aspiring twitch/OF thots.

I talked a bit with the last hoe I matched with, thinking "well maybe I was too quick on calling quits", but it just immediately dawned on me that we talked about nothing. No interests, neither party really trying to push into personal depths rather than just flirting. You really should aim to find a friend first and a partner second, and that's tough cause in the least incel sexist way possible, I just don't see women with hobbies you wanna hear about. Meanwhile you'll see some retard online say "dawg this (niche game you also played) just aint it anymore" and that alone is enough reason to reply to them. Women? Balls through glass just to hear what they do outside work and the gym.

Hell, I saw a cute 7/10 faced chick who bodybuilded actively with a Dio star tattoo, and STILL she didn't convey anything other than gymbunny vibes, clearly also being a weeb. It's just not appealing to actively pursue partnership when you see nothing but reasons not to.

 

[Tiny Tom Cruise]

I dunno, I haven't had a lot of relationships but been on a number of dates and I just find it difficult. I took a long break from dating at all to kind of just discover myself and focus on other things, and then I've tried a lot of things to find a good guy to date, even dating a close friend of several years only for it to quickly end in the exact same way all my other relationships have.

At this point I'm not sure if the issue is me or not but I'm past the age where I'm really going to change all that much, and for the most part I'm pretty happy with myself as a person. Most of my friends in settled, long-term relationships have had more relationships than I have, but I find dating exhausting and on top of my job and hobbies and responsibilities it's just too much to go out on a bunch of first dates over a period of months.

Still, I want to find someone. As of the last year or so I've started to feel lonely without a partner and really want a companion to go through life with but I don't know if it'll happen for me. Sometimes I even think about joining a church or something just to find a community that might help me meet someone who isn't a degenerate (I know it's a bad idea, it's just a thought). This summer, I'm probably going to try dating again but so many guys are really pushy or lie about their intentions so I'm kind of nervous. Really wish things had worked out with my guy friend but I'm never going to try dating friends ever again, too risky.

 

[Quintex96]

Dating apps are complete aids. I tried them a while back while I was still rebounding and this was my experience-

The vast majority of likes I got were bots or women on the other side of the planet.

The odd non-bot like I got had the conversational ability of a fucking lettuce, I would try asking leading questions just to get short one, maybe two word replies

Spoiler: Actual conversation I had

Me: Hey
Them: Hey
Me: Yay, finally someone that replies. was beginning to lose hope lmao
Them: yeah haha
Me: So I can see you are a fan of music, You get out to gigs often?
Them: Sometimes
Me: I try to when I can, life sometimes has a nasty habit of getting in the way.
(No response for over 12 hours)
Me: you have any other hobbies and interests?
Them: yeah I suppose
Me: care to elaborate further?
(They never replied after this)

Literally every match bar one went like this, the only exception at least had the decency to tell me that she was talking to someone else and felt that they had better chemistry then we did before wishing me well and even then I felt that that interaction was the equivalent of winning the lottery.

The rest I have no idea because the short time gap between me being notified that I got a match and me opening the app was enough for them to unmatch, which sounds bizzare but is notoriously common if you look into it.

 

[PaleTay]

Do you have any relative or friend or have you met anyone who would come up and say things like: "But if you don't have nay children what are you going to leave for this world?", "You'll have nobody to take care of you when you reach old age", "You'll have nobody to share your experiences with" or some other bullshit like that?

I think being guilted into taking care of relatives in their old age is why I'll die alone, granted I think I'd have been disowned if I'd have said no.

 

[Average Russian Spy]

After dating throughout my early twenties, I eventually came to the conclusion that I quite enjoy being single. I value my privacy and alone time highly, so it was always a pain in the ass when I came home, tired and dirty from work, and I get a call from a girl wanting to go for a walk, or see a movie, or some other chore I have no real desire to do. I enjoy having a bathroom all to myself. I enjoy not dealing with another person's personal/family drama. I enjoy not being expected to buy gifts or suddenly be cajoled into going out for an expensive meal where I pay for the whole thing.
It wasn't until I was single for a long time that I finally looked around and thought, "Oh wow, this is great!"

 

[PlapPlapPlapPlapPlap]

I'm a sperg with very little IRL social drive who needs a lot of time to myself (diagnosed, but mild so I can pass as normie in short bursts), strange/overnight work hours so I'm on a different schedule than everyone else, I don't want children because I would be a shit father, and I have no career or life ambitions other than not be broke and homeless, which according to (((social media))) makes me a useless bitchmade softboi that no woman should ever waste their time on anyway. So gym, vidya, youtubing, and shitposting it is then. I have no socially acceptable hobbies that would play on a (((dating app))) or anywhere else.

Also, at the risk of committing multiple misogynys; in my limited experience for myself, plus what I've seen in others close to me, women are professional time and money wasters who love to keep you walking on eggshells. Regardless of his cuck level, the Bill Burr bit about women filling up with the day with bullshit when they get a whiff of you having free time is painfully true. And TikTok (women really do tell on themselves on that app, especially on their reposts, yes I creep) is riddled with gurrrrl-if-he-not-paying-for-everything-he-trash and similar slop. Why do I need that in my life? I value and appreciate my money and my do-nothing time and don't need or want help pissing it away.

>you just want a bangmaid

Bang yes, maid no. I am sloppy with cleaning, but I never lose anything because I always keep it in the same place; it's an organized mess. I also can and do cook for myself, do my own laundry, and make my own appointments. Meanwhile I save enough money to go get laid or at least get my dick sucked any time I want, within reason. The internet's a hell of a drug.

>nigga you gay

I wish but I have no desire to fuck men and from what I've heard the gay zone has plenty of its own problems.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Literally every match bar one went like this, the only exception at least had the decency to tell me that she was talking to someone else and felt that they had better chemistry then we did before wishing me well and even then I felt that that interaction was the equivalent of winning the lottery

I like upfront women bordering on demanding/entitled, and even the times I've matched with these, they just got fuck all game. "Heyy lmao you look cute", then I reply leaning into their attitude and mix a reference to something on their profile, and best case they reply in kind for 30 minutes, then silence.

I once matched with someone who was like "heyy wanna voice?", after quickly asking for my Discord and confessing her friends say she's quite dominant. I didn't immediately reply "yes kweenie unu" so she ghosted me until I removed her. And she was 100% a typical fat nerd with one obese partner to her history. I sometimes think "damn if only I hadn't removed her", but then you bust a nut and realize she was a low quality cow.

Dating apps and being matched makes people ditch all their standards cause "omg they matched me". If you have the confidence to go into matches with no desperation, women got fuck all to offer.

The rest I have no idea because the short time gap between me being notified that I got a match and me opening the app was enough for them to unmatch, which sounds bizzare but is notoriously common if you look into it

Very common, also for me to do it. You swipe a bunch below your standard, they match you back immediately, you assume they have gold and just match everyone back, which is a red flag in itself.

I love people-watching and upon seeing some clearly single boring brunette, I imagine enabling and pandering her; how this boring bitch's life might be saved in some measure by the right soul. A boring couple who fear no unfaithfulness or attention.

Then you see a carbon copy of her on Tinder and this mid ahh bitch got the ego of a pornstar.

 

[DavidS877]

Besides being fat, ugly and poor.

Like others I sometimes think, "How would a woman improve my life." and I can't think of a single reason. I live in a small 2br house. They'd be underfoot all the time. I'd be significantly poorer. I'd probably have to build another garage as my 2car garage is too small for a second far since it's filled with junk and you simply do not leave a car outside here in winter. Worse still what if she had, like, Ryobi tools, I barely have enough space for chargers now. Would she even be able to design a PCB? Do electrical wiring? Plumbing work? Carpentry?

Yea, I'm not seeing the benefit here.

 

[Aljam]

I'm still single because I don't go outside and opt to play vidya instead.