why are you still single - and general discussion of the dating game

[Matt Damon]

You learn to overlook the irritating traits of women because the pride and legacy of a family is worth dying for.

I'll have to take your word for it. Sounds like a lifetime of work for nothing more than a nebulous concept to me.

 

[Hitchhiker]

I'm single voluntarily, because for some reason only insane women are attracted to me. I'm relatively normal as far as a Kiwi farms user can be, so I don't know what I'm doing to attract these types of women.

One girl was a furry, and is the reason I have a scar on my face now. Another harassed me, and followed me around for a month after I said hi to her once. A different girl started being friends with a furry, then started wearing horrific looking clown make up.

The most recent two were a girl who had a full on R9K level spaghetti drop in front of me while I was checking out of the grocery line, and a girl who when I went on a date with her she actively intentionally tried to piss me off for some reason, and I found out later she sells feet pics to people.

This is only including women who've done this, I've had a couple guys creep on me which was weird. I'm probably forgetting some, but these stick out in my mind.

 

[Nuclear Poisoning]

I have yet to find a woman endowed with a vagina voluminous enough to fully accommodate my gargantuan member, nor have I found someone with the intellect and emotional fortitude necessary to keep up with me during post-coital pillow-talk.

 

[Da Grim Reaper]

Because I don't need one. Most guys are obsessed with relationships due to status.

 

[Steam Deck Verified]

It kind of freaks me out how many of my friends, men and women alike, have confided to me in private how miserable they are in their relationships/marriages, are no longer attracted to their partners, and hate having sex with them, but won't leave the relationship because they've either convinced themselves that this is what real love is like, or they don't want to go back to living alone on a single income. Not all couples, but probably 75%? I've met these partners and thought they were great, but in private I guess they'd exposed themselves to be girls with a shopping addiction and 20k in credit card debt or manchildren who are pushing 40 and can't take care of themselves. I'd still love to get married and have a baby but damn are the personal anecdotes discouraging.

haha jk srs it's because I own an Android. Didn't think it mattered so much to straight men but I guess it's a more common hang-up than I'd expected. "but we won't be able to facetime "

 

[Geddy Lee's Fee and See]

It kind of freaks me out how many of my friends, men and women alike, have confided to me in private how miserable they are in their relationships/marriages, are no longer attracted to their partners, and hate having sex with them, but won't leave the relationship because they've either convinced themselves that this is what real love is like, or they don't want to go back to living alone on a single income. Not all couples, but probably 75%? I've met these partners and thought they were great, but in private I guess they'd exposed themselves to be girls with a shopping addiction and 20k in credit card debt or manchildren who are pushing 40 and can't take care of themselves. I'd still love to get married and have a baby but damn are the personal anecdotes discouraging.

haha jk srs it's because I own an Android. Didn't think it mattered so much to straight men but I guess it's a more common hang-up than I'd expected. "but we won't be able to facetime "

I think it's because most people want to be in a relationship (naturally), but they don't know what they can bring to a relationship nor what they expect/want/need out of their partner. They just follow cues they learned from their parents, who often have a fucked up relationship themselves, and end up in the same place as them. Same thing in regards to what they expect out of life. It's why it's better to stay single and to actually think about what you want out of life and what you expect out of a spouse, so you aren't disappointed in them and end up hating them in the long term. I call normalfags retarded for this reason: they know they only have one life and they waste it being mediocre. At least the peasants of old had an excuse and even knew how to live it up and have healthy relationships (minus the wife-beating and cheating. The past wasn't perfect let's be honest). We have no excuse nowadays. We just hate ourselves so much that we put ourselves in a miserable position just to live up to a non-existent ideal rather than our own goals in life. This isn't to say that a wife that is your perfect match ensures that the sun will always shine. There will be bad times in your marriage and life, but a good wife is a friend that weathers that with you rather than in the source of your misery. Same shit applies for femanons and their husbands.

Just find a girl that's mature, you are able to be honest friends as well as lovers (that means you guys should have common interests, values and religions,etc.) and is an intelligent,kind courteous person. These women are rare, but they are worth 10000x their worth in gold. It sucks being lonely but something normalfags never think about is that bad company is 1000x worse.

 

[anustart76]

I don't know how to meet women, and I don't know what to do or say if I do meet women I'm interested in.

 

[DeadwastePrime]

why? are you asking me out on a date, op? you wanna go out with a man?

 

[Christmas Leftover]

I keep moving so it's hard to see myself with someone long term. I'm bi = too gay for women, too straight for men. Gained weight and now look like 2022 sam smith. I think that's why.

Only had three relationships and it's been a couple of years since the last one. The last one trooned out. The first one was equally traumatic. The nicest one was with a woman, but long distance killed it.

 

[Not A Bunny]

Because the guys I keep meeting act like I'm an idiot.
Now, there is a reasonable case to make that I may very well be an idiot. However, there are certain things I am not an idiot about:

I am not giving you my number five minutes after we meet (usually via app). I've had guys that after a first date, they presume I have nothing better to do than answer their text messages all. day. long.
Ditto with going out with them five minutes after we start texting. Meet you tonight? Well yes, of course, I have nothing better to do and I've been waiting around my whole life to go out with you, so yes, of course, I will drop all of my plans for tonight and go out to drink with a complete stranger.
I am not going someplace strange with you. I haven't even seen you in person and I'm supposed to go to some rando's house with people I don't know?

And that's just the ones that I either haven't met or known a while.

The ones that make it more than one date with me:

Think I'm going to bed with them immediately.
Think I'm desperate and act as if dangling a relationship with them in front of me is going to make me roll over like a bitch.
Think that berating me is somehow sexy.

Sorry about the rant, but I swear, dating at this point feels like punishment.

 

[ConsentAccidentVictimNo98]

Because I'm extremely autistic but also somehow don't trust people. Too interested in niche things that take up a lot of time as well + not really in a state of life where I want to date really. The one time someone asked me "out" (someone that I had been interested in for a while) as a joke to say "oh look I have dated (my name)" and "dumped" me. - I only said yes out of curiosity tbf and part of me even then didn't really care about the idea of relationships, but even still.

Though in that case, I got the last laugh. They ended up dating someone later who cheated on them (she still stayed with them) only to dump them later because they "said the n-word too many times". Pretty sure that person who cheated on them ended up trooning out later on, from the times I've been near them (had to get on the same bus) they did appear to have done so and had many of the prerequisites for potential agp in their personality.

 

[Antenna7]

Just find a girl that's mature, you are able to be honest friends as well as lovers (

This I think is pretty rare amongst Men and Women these days.

Think I'm going to bed with them immediately.
Think I'm desperate and act as if dangling a relationship with them in front of me is going to make me roll over like a bitch.
Think that berating me is somehow sexy.

Sorry about the rant, but I swear, dating at this point feels like punishment.

Guys are merely acting on what responses they've had in the past from other Women. And the last one about berating you, was guys that read PUA stuff and was hoping you'd be responsive to put-downs to elevate themselves into being date-able.

 

[Matt Damon]

I've had guys that after a first date, they presume I have nothing better to do than answer their text messages all. day. long.

The early part of a relationship is awful because of how giddy and stupid about me the other person gets. I know that makes me sound like the most miserable, killjoy bastard in the world, but it's still true.

 

[Geddy Lee's Fee and See]

This I think is pretty rare amongst Men and Women these days.

I never said it wasn't. Most men only talk to women to get pussy. Otherwise, they just ignore them. I'm just saying that being by oneself is better than being with someone that is or will become a stranger rather than a friend. Turns out most people don't know how to be a true friend rather than someone that transacts favors with you. With that perspective, it makes sense why modern relationships are so chaotic, vapid and devoid of any meaning past satisfying some base/financial/social (as in social status related) need instead of making oneself and one's spouse a better person at the end of the day, which really should be the main goal of marriage.

The early part of a relationship is awful because of how giddy and stupid about me the other person gets. I know that makes me sound like the most miserable, killjoy bastard in the world, but it's still true.

I think that makes sense. It sets you up with a shitton of false expectations of what a true relationship entails and often when that feeling fades you realize "Oh shit. I hate this person and now I'm stuck with him/her. Fuck." That's why I think dating is retarded: you don't really get to know the person past the mask they want you to know unless they are honest with themselves and the world, which most people are most assuredly are not. It assumes so much that isn't true, it's effectively useless for finding love but it's great for finding fleeting relationships that end up being a waste of time and resources. Unironically, arranged marriages, for however awful they can be, are better for accounting for that and having a third-party matchmaker you know very well (like a mother,father. sibling,etc.) is even better for controlling for your true self and the other person's true self. I don't hate the idea of being in a relationship, but I do hate the idea of wasting time with people I don't like for no reason or for no compensation. That's what modern dating boils down to: a resource sink but an unfortunately necessary resource sink if you want to find love(unless someone comes up with something than rolling the bones and finding your soulmate). The best way to win is to know who you are, what you want for your life, why you want it, how you hope to achieve it and find someone in this cruel world that at least thinks similarly so the both of you can start a family together and enjoy each other's company till death do you part.

 

[diametricity]

because i feel too vulnerable. i know the whole point is to find someone you can truly be comfortable sharing your life with, but i get too self-conscious when someone knows too much. i also don't actively seek out guys, because i'm afraid of rejection- though i know that the odds are most likely in my favor. i guess i'm just afraid that a person will eventually learn too much and leave because he doesn't like the idea of me anymore.

 

[Antenna7]

Turns out most people don't know how to be a true friend rather than someone that transacts favors with you. With that perspective, it makes sense why modern relationships are so chaotic, vapid and devoid of any meaning past satisfying some base/financial/social (as in social status related) need instead of making oneself and one's spouse a better person at the end of the day, which really should be the main goal of marriage.

Sometimes I wonder. Were people always this selfish and narcissistic? Has social media and this breakdown in social values are just people exposing themselves, where in the past social shaming, values, and fearing of going to hell, would have kept those people in check?

 

[Tetragrammaton]

for me personally im single because i dont really have much interest in being with someone at the moment. it also does not help that the women in my area are all single with multiple kids or into poly relatonships both of which i am not interested in one bit. so there is that.

i also just have yet to run into someone that fits what i am looking for which will become even more of a challenge as i grow older but i am fine with that. my dad never got married till he was in his 40s so i am not in any rush. i would much rather be with someone who i actually care about and who cares about me in return rather than some dead end relationship that was rushed into simply because i was afraid of being alone.

as far as advice is concerned i think that patience can be worth it and you should just do your best to be yourself especially around someone you feel might be a potential partner. even if you are one of those people who likes to hide stuff because you dont wanna scare someone away. fuck it just be who you are if they cant accept that then why bother with them?

 

[Geddy Lee's Fee and See]

Sometimes I wonder. Were people always this selfish and narcissistic? Or has social media and this breakdown in social values are just people exposing themselves, where in the past social shaming, values, and fearing of going to hell, would have kept those people in check?

I think it's social media, the lack of moral values/shaming, community and religion that's making people this self-centered and rather vicious. I'm not saying everyone was an angel in the past, but those 3 things kept a lot of bad behaviors in relative check for most people so that if you acted like a git, it would not only affect your social standing, but you would risk going to hell and on the practical side, it would more than likely go against any core values you,your community or your family would have. Now, most people are extremely lukewarm about religion or make it about themselves (I don't mean that they need to be zealots but they don't understand the practical basis of their faith a lot of the time), they come from broken families and form broken families, community in the real world is a thing of the past. So all we have is our own flawed value judgments to make moral decisions and social media amplifies bad behaviors, so that in conjunction with the moral relativism and solipsism of the modern age is why people have become so self-centered and narcissistic.

Like today, I saw a 60 year old homeless vet (who apparently suffered from a stroke from the way he was talking to me after I got some pizza and a drink for him) driving to my research lab in the hot sun. No one stopped to give him anything. Change or food and there was a gas station across the street and a grocery store about half a mile out, both on the other side of the street. I think he would have been grateful for anything, but even then no one payed attention to him and drive past him even though he had a giant sign that said "Homeless Vet. Suffered a Stroke." Usually I'm wary of homeless people because they can be a threat, but this man was harmless, yet to most people he was invisible. It kind of goes to show you most people CAN be good, but just aren't. This is why most relationships are built on shifty sand and are rather meaningless to me (or maybe this is an objective truth nowadays): it's the same thing as transaction at a store, not a real connection with a human being. It's tit-for-tat, but I get mine at the end of the day. It's not seeing someone else as a person and having empathy for their plight or being glad for their successes. It's a race to the bottom basically.

 

[Antenna7]

So all we have is our own flawed value judgments to make moral decisions and social media amplifies bad behaviors, so that in conjunction with the moral relativism and solipsism of the modern age is why people have become so self-centered and narcissistic.

I dunno though. Would you be friends with someone who seemed like a good person, but then you eventually found out the only reason they were acting that way is because of fear of social reprisal, bad word getting around the community, or going to hell? Is a guy donating a million dollars to charity a good person, even though he simply did it as a tax writeoff and wanted his name in the news?

 

[Geddy Lee's Fee and See]

I dunno though. Would you be friends with someone who seemed like a good person, but then you eventually found out the only reason they were acting that way is because of fear of social reprisal, bad word getting around the community, or going to hell? Is a guy donating a million dollars to charity a good person, even though he simply did it as a tax writeoff and wanted his name in the news?

I admit, if I found that out that about someone (at least in terms of the more worldly reasons for being a good person), it would definitely lessen my opinion of them and probably make them more of an acquaintance than a friend. I'd say someone that focuses on the negative social aspects of being a bad person is not someone worth hanging out with, since they will stab you in the back if it's in the interest of their social/financial status. Even then, at least on the ground level, it keeps things at large copacetic so it's not all bad. I just wouldn't associate with that person as much. Same with the charity dude. The person that worries about going to hell is at least going to believe in some religion that tells them why X is immoral (or at least heavily hints why that is the case), so he/she is more likely to be a person that at least attempts to be a genuinely good person, since it's in favor of some higher goal than their basic human appetites. Given time, it is possible for them to try and attempt to be a genuinely good person due to that being more in line with not going to hell. I wouldn't dissociate from this person tbqh, unless they get out of hand and start getting overzealous and saying all other people are evil because they don't do the shit I do to avoid sin.