why are you still single - and general discussion of the dating game

[cocko]

Dude. Is there not like a club or a society you can join in college?

I was in three hobby/interest clubs, two sports, a society for my major, and I was always wandering around campus trying to get involved in whatever activities were going on. I even joined a club at another college close by. I'm fairly good at striking up conversations so I met a lot of people who remembered my face and made small talk whenever they saw me again but it never went deeper than that. 90% of college students attend class wordlessly and then go home. They'll socialize if you initiate but outside of allotted club events they won't make plans to hang out. Many are lucky to already have friends to do things with, and the rest of their time is dedicated to studying, part time work, or winding down. Social anxiety is another huge issue, with the ones who don't have friends shooting themselves in the foot by refusing to put themselves out there. The whole ordeal was so frustrating that it hurt my self esteem badly for a while because I concluded that no one liked me.

 

[cybertoaster]

ive never had a boyfriend, and even when a guy irl was interested in me, i couldnt tell at all because i had no experience

Have you ever tried asking a guy to go see a movie or something? not romantically just "hey want to go watch [insert normie movie that's not a romcom or something that could be misinterpreted as a dating movie]".

it doesnt help that ive been blackpilled online on how many men are pedophilic or porn addicts, its just a grim situation and im over it

You're in a site dedicated to documenting that kind of people, they are certainly not the majority.

ive seen many horror stories of women finding out their husbands were looking at gay porn years into the marriage or even talking to kids onlin

Statistically insignificant, he's more likely to cheat on you with another woman.

I'm single because once you graduate high school you have 0 chances to spend enough time with women to develop feelings

Bro college is the place to spend time with girls. Back in school any guy who hanged around with girls was thought to be gay or a creep.

Go to the movie theater once a month

Yeah be the regular guy who watches movies alone...

learn how to bake

Don't, do it to have a healthier diet but chicks in general are not impressed by a guy who can cook and will even think you're gay.

volunteer locally

You're only gonna find boomers there.

Worst case scenario find a local board games/D&D group if you're that autistic.

Now that's a sausage fest...

The parents that push the "put your studies over relationships" style of thinking have produced some of the most unhappiest people ever

And unsuccessful, I know borderline neanderthals who made it to VP because they used to do keg stands with the guy who got them the job. Media likes to portray frats like a bunch of douchebags and that joining one is a bad idea but in reality its great for contacts specially if you make it to ivy league.

The whole ordeal was so frustrating that it hurt my self esteem badly for a while because I concluded that no one liked me.

Look bro don't take this the wrong way but be 100% honest and tell me, are you ugly? short? fat? below average in general?, because as much as normies like to pretend they are shallow as fuck, they were already shallow before social media. One of the nicer people I met in college was this girl who was happy all the time, but she got ignored because she was fat, below 5" and neither pretty nor hot. Every study out there shows hot people have it easier at socializing even if they are assholes.

 

[Ibanez RG 350EX]

Honestly, you don't realise how much algorithms are responsible for this.

Anyone blaming "muh algorithm" for the fact that they're jerking off to tranny porn is just a homosexual coomer deep in denial.

 

[Crunchy Bone Sandwich]

Honestly, you don't realise how much algorithms are responsible for this. Constantly reading stories day in and day out basically designed to feast on your insecurities (he's always going to think about other women) is clearly playing a massive role in how you see the world. Tech companies get more data from you the more you spend online and they know that their best bet is to constantly feed you horror stories. It's social engineering designed to atomize people. Tech companies don't want people fucking so they are conditioning people into faggotry, trannydom or just miserable human beings. Your anxiety is a vicious cycle where you struggle to cope with the real world therefore you spend more time online. One reinforces the other keeping you trapped.

yeah youre right, Ive been trying to look at less stuff like that but it still had an effect on me

Have you ever tried asking a guy to go see a movie or something? not romantically just "hey want to go watch [insert normie movie that's not a romcom or something that could be misinterpreted as a dating movie]".

no because ive never met a guy i wanted to do that with lol

 

[Doktor Grimm]

@cocko I can vouch for your college experience. In high school, when we were forced to mingle with one another five days a week, I had no trouble forging relationships with all sorts of people, but now it's as if nobody can be bothered to put in the effort. I don't think the issue is that they don't care about having friends so much as they seem to think their social requirements can be met through other, inferior means (i.e. liking people's Instagram stories).

As of right now, I've resorted to asking for the socials of everyone I have even the slightest positive interaction with in my classes, then pestering them every couple weeks to see what they're up to. If I can coax them into making plans with me, great! -- if they drop me for being annoying, OH WELL they never would have initiated anything anyway. At times it does make me feel a bit lame or desperate, but I think the reality is if you want to make real connections with flesh-and-blood people, you'll have to pick up everyone else's slack, unfair as that is. It takes determination to succeed at a game so few are actually playing.

 

[ArnoldPalmer]

You're much more likely to find your sonic chads at the gym or Church or something.

It's funny you bring this up, because in my experience, girls really fucking like Sonic for some reason. I had a little keychain bauble of him on my car keys, and I've had no fewer than five girls try to play with it while drinking at the bar over the years. The Sonic Autism range might be more complicated than we had initially anticipated.

At the very least, the moral of this story is that girls might not see Sonic as the cringe icon we penis-havers typically do.

 

[Ingmar Aspergman]

I was in three hobby/interest clubs, two sports, a society for my major, and I was always wandering around campus trying to get involved in whatever activities were going on. I even joined a club at another college close by. I'm fairly good at striking up conversations so I met a lot of people who remembered my face and made small talk whenever they saw me again but it never went deeper than that. 90% of college students attend class wordlessly and then go home. They'll socialize if you initiate but outside of allotted club events they won't make plans to hang out. Many are lucky to already have friends to do things with, and the rest of their time is dedicated to studying, part time work, or winding down. Social anxiety is another huge issue, with the ones who don't have friends shooting themselves in the foot by refusing to put themselves out there. The whole ordeal was so frustrating that it hurt my self esteem badly for a while because I concluded that no one liked me.

This has been my experience too, I am always the one to offer doing something but there’s always an excuse

 

[cocko]

@cocko I can vouch for your college experience. In high school, when we were forced to mingle with one another five days a week, I had no trouble forging relationships with all sorts of people, but now it's as if nobody can be bothered to put in the effort. I don't think the issue is that they don't care about having friends so much as they seem to think their social requirements can be met through other, inferior means (i.e. liking people's Instagram stories).

As of right now, I've resorted to asking for the socials of everyone I have even the slightest positive interaction with in my classes, then pestering them every couple weeks to see what they're up to. If I can coax them into making plans with me, great! -- if they drop me for being annoying, OH WELL they never would have initiated anything anyway. At times it does make me feel a bit lame or desperate, but I think the reality is if you want to make real connections with flesh-and-blood people, you'll have to pick up everyone else's slack, unfair as that is. It takes determination to succeed at a game so few are actually playing.

Another issue is that by early adulthood, everyone already has an archetype in their mind of the kind of person they want to be friends with, and no one is willing to meet in the middle. I'm not exempt from this in fact it's a huge issue for me because I get so wildly bored by normie shenanigans that I have zero motivation to reach out to most people I meet.

I have no doubt that I would have a gf and a friend group if I could tolerate mainstream senses of humor, which is my personal Achilles Heel. It's hard when humor is one of the main ways I like bonding with people, my "love language" if you will, and their humor just makes me roll my eyes. If I have to fake laugh at another tiktok reference I will kill myself.

 

[Tachibana]

The older you get, the more difficult it gets. Many of my social groups frayed because of covid, and post covid, it's difficult to re-establish these groups.

Many of my recent experiences with women is that they're taken, have issues you don't particularly want to deal with, or/and have their own cliquey social group. Issues can range from being broke, treating you like an emotional sponge, and strange sexual proclivities. What annoys me most is how sex negative women are, will not outright tell you (because they want the attention), but yet expect you to put up with their nonsense.

One from a few months ago I spent time with, she's cute and seems to have her life together, but outside of work, her life is surrounding herself with cats, alcohol and media consumption. Then she hits you with the "I'm depressed and asexual" shtick aka you might as well not bother as a guy. You're an asshole if you don't want to spend time with her with 0 sexual prospect, because other guys are willing to put up with it. It's not the kind of person you want to live your life around.

Women tend to have their own social circles you won't be invited to. Even guys are atomized/sticking with the same handful of people. I've taken notice of how awful the economy is. Third places I used to go to for socializing are shut down because they can't make rent. The price of going out is making gunpla model kits look affordable, and it's fucking with women who are used to going out. It's difficult to do much, so some of them stay home and consume media. The lack of communal space complicates things. While I have my own place, inviting a woman over almost certainly means that you're going to bone her, and some of the women, even at my age, live with their parents because rent is unaffordable.

As much as I've tried to push away from "nerd hobbies" that tend to be sausage fests, it doesn't make that dynamic any easier. I'm not sure if it's because the women I run into tend to have a passing interest in whatever they do, or if it's because women are just like that. I don't consider watching Netflix, reality TV, and chugging wine to be hobbies. Partaking in a sport is a hobby, writing is a hobby, photography is a hobby.

Two okay girls I've known for a long time, and of course are both taken, seem to think that dating apps are the answer. I've never been good about taking selfies "doing exciting things", or asking other people to take pictures of me, so I don't have much to work with. You need to open your wallet to pay for dating DLC too. These apps are all sausage fests, you get mindfucked with to spend money on various features where you have 0 idea if you'll actually meet anyone.

 

[Nitro!]

I think that a big piece of it is refusing to use Facebook. Please do not take this a glowing recommendation, I genuinely believe that social media causes social dysfunction, but at the very least it puts you in proximity of other people when so much as a sideways glance IRL will have a member of the fairer sex reflexively grab for her phone to avoid eye contact.

Let's say for a second that you're talking to this girl, you're hitting it off, and so the next step is phone number (fine) and socials (not fine). You respond that you don't have a Facebook, Insta, Snap, Kik, what-the-fuck-ever, and it's a detriment. She can't vet you the same way she'd vet someone else. Do you have friends above some acceptable limit? Do you "like" some weird page, or not "like" enough pages that puts you into boyfriend territory? Is there a photo of you and a dog front and center?

It raises question marks when they weren't there before, and worse, puts you in a position where other men are prodding for weak points and you're nowhere to be found. I was recently talking to a friend of mine. He's not weird, he's not a Chad, but I won't denigrate him with the status of normalfag. He's got a new girlfriend and I'm pretty sure they're headed for marriage - they are hitting it off really well. He & I chat about preserving OPSEC on the Internet, she got him to join Instagram. His phone is buzzing nonstop as she's sending him links to it. It keeps her connected to him. I have to wonder if she would just find someone else if he wasn't attached to her like this, via social media. It seems to be an explicit requirement.

Anyway, I'm pretty much resigned to it. Die, Zuckerberg, die.

 

[PaleTay]

Another issue is that by early adulthood, everyone already has an archetype in their mind of the kind of person they want to be friends with, and no one is willing to meet in the middle. I'm not exempt from this in fact it's a huge issue for me because I get so wildly bored by normie shenanigans that I have zero motivation to reach out to most people I meet.

I have no doubt that I would have a gf and a friend group if I could tolerate mainstream senses of humor, which is my personal Achilles Heel. It's hard when humor is one of the main ways I like bonding with people, my "love language" if you will, and their humor just makes me roll my eyes. If I have to fake laugh at another tiktok reference I will kill myself.

You can overcome it if you're funny and attractive enough especially with women, less so with groups.

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

You can overcome it if you're funny and attractive enough especially with women, less so with groups.

Women aren't funny. To be 'funny' in the eyes of women, you have to have normiefag niggercattle humour. Regardless what they fucking say. For example, on a dating app (i know they're terrible but bear with me), a conversation went like this:

Woman: [In profile says she has a dark sense of humour]
Me: [After small talk pleasantries] I see you have a dark sense of humour, how dark is it?
Woman: Very dark, i cannot be offended by anything. How dark is yours?
Me: Mine is so dark that it could pick cotton.
Woman: That's offensive and very racist.

Many such cases.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm finding more and more that women are fucking boring. I travel, have outdoor hobbies, enjoy cycling, walking and doing fucking anything, even if it's new. Women? Nahh they say they do xy and z but they don't, they're just very very self-absorbed and boring. I can talk to any of them, get them to open up but I just don't care what they have to say because, you guessed it, they're very boring. I made this paragraph boring so you would get a real-life taste of what it's like for me when I talk to women.

PSA: Just for all of the people on dating apps, the woman you are texting/messaging IS!!! screenshotting your conversation and sharing it with her friends/social group. FACT. So beware.

 

[PaleTay]

Women aren't funny. To be 'funny' in the eyes of women, you have to have normiefag niggercattle humour. Regardless what they fucking say. For example, on a dating app (i know they're terrible but bear with me), a conversation went like this:

Woman: [In profile says she has a dark sense of humour]
Me: [After small talk pleasantries] I see you have a dark sense of humour, how dark is it?
Woman: Very dark, i cannot be offended by anything. How dark is yours?
Me: Mine is so dark that it could pick cotton.
Woman: That's offensive and very racist.

Many such cases.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm finding more and more that women are fucking boring. I travel, have outdoor hobbies, enjoy cycling, walking and doing fucking anything, even if it's new. Women? Nahh they say they do xy and z but they don't, they're just very very self-absorbed and boring. I can talk to any of them, get them to open up but I just don't care what they have to say because, you guessed it, they're very boring. I made this paragraph boring so you would get a real-life taste of what it's like for me when I talk to women.

PSA: Just for all of the people on dating apps, the woman you are texting/messaging IS!!! screenshotting your conversation and sharing it with her friends/social group. FACT. So beware.

I mean in real life, not over text. Women laugh at the delivery, not the content for the most part so tone, timing, and body language are what is most important.

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

I mean in real life, not over text. Women laugh at the delivery, not the content for the most part so tone, timing, and body language are what is most important.

Thanks for the advice, genuinely. At this point I'm on dating apps as a way of people watching fucking retards, so they're responses are entertaining.

Another example from today:

Woman: You're an intelligent man, Like Donald Trump, but not was evil.
Me: I don't discuss politics because everyone has their own unique views and it's a subject that divides and not unites. I prefer unity so I don't get involved.
Woman: Politics is very important to everyone. Politics is in everything. I'm left-leaning and the world needs to be improved for my daughter
Me: The world has been left-leaning for 60 years and things have only gotten worse. How will sticking with that make things better?
Woman: Angry NPC noises.
Me: [Block]

 

[cocko]

Woman: Very dark, i cannot be offended by anything. How dark is yours?
Me: Mine is so dark that it could pick cotton.
Woman: That's offensive and very racist.

There actually is in fact a difference between dark humor and an uncreative punchline that does nothing but convey "I am racist"

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

There actually is in fact a difference between dark humor and an uncreative punchline that does nothing but convey "I am racist"

Explain, using the form of interpretive dance, how that play on words is racist?

 

[Lidl Drip]

Man: *displays crippling autism and lack of social skills*
Woman: uh ok bye
Man: These fucking whores don't have a sense of humor!!!

 

[cocko]

Explain, using the form of interpretive dance, how that play on words is racist?

Every well-adjusted person reads an unoriginal joke like that and assumes the intent is to signal that you're racist, because it's not funny or creative. I am giving you advice here.

 

[Bogdandoff]

I try online dating, not good at getting to the point where i/we organize a date.

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

Every well-adjusted person reads an unoriginal joke like that and assumes the intent is to signal that you're racist, because it's not funny or creative. I am giving you advice here.

I appreciate the advice but if someone thinks that joke is racist, they're not worth my time. Jokes are nothing, they're jokes and, YMMV, but I've only heard that punchline once.

If I wanted to be racist, I would say "What do you do if you think you've run over a nigger?" "Reverse and make sure".