why are you still single - and general discussion of the dating game

[cocko]

I appreciate the advice but if someone thinks that joke is racist, they're not worth my time. Jokes are nothing, they're jokes and, YMMV, but I've only heard that punchline once.

If I wanted to be racist, I would say "What do you do if you think you've run over a nigger?" "Reverse and make sure".

Okay I am actually going to give you thorough feedback on this because I'm a sperg about humor and I have nothing better to do right now.

Someone you just met on a dating app has no idea what your intent is and honestly I would have assumed you're racist too. Best case scenario I would've cringed (I did) and then you doubled down and made another one. Comedy is a skill that you have to build, not just repeating edgy 4chan shock value lines. In that sense you're doing the same thing as tards who repeat things from tiktok, just a different genre of humor. Congrats.

If you want to "shock" people with absurdity or things you shouldn't be saying, you have to get good at improv, thinking on your feet within conversations. Otherwise it really just does come off like "Heh, I made a joke about black people being slaves... I am so fucking offensive and/or edgy." It's boring and could easily be described as racist because it's so straightforward that the point is to be offensive and nothing else.

If you're going for a "white boy saying the n word" joke you have to put a little more effort to make it work contextually in conversations; I feel like these examples I found from my DMs explain what I mean


- "I was worried about sounding offensive so I said nigga instead"
- Using the n word in such a nonsensical manner that's silly in itself, but also you would have to be a legitimate SJW to get offended over it


- Another joke with edgy topics where the humor is in the juxtaposition of the topics in a notes app list. Which brings me to an important point... TONE.

A mismatched casualness adds to the funny, if you're joking about edgy things you need to balance it with a clashing tone like "this is a totally normal thing to say", instead of insisting upon itself with a smug/cocky attitude and then going "offended yet, snowflake?". You are giving everyone the mental picture that you're a 15 year old tryhard nazi LARPer on 4chan, and it's painful.

Sam Hyde was really fucking good at this type of deadpan humor... watch Getting Away With It (1:06:41), or Sam Hyde - First Date Questions (9:30). He is clearly being offensive and saying concerning things, but he's a professional comedian who understands that context, tone, timing, originality etc are just as important to make something funny.

And outside of comedy acts, I need to reiterate that you need to keep in mind rapport, which is important for your audience to understand intent. It was funny for Sam Hyde to purposely keep the audience in the dark on Adult Swim and YouTube but you cannot be doing that shit with Stanley cup girls you just met 5 minutes ago.

And, to state the obvious, you can find humor in literally anything. Or talk about anything other than politics. If you need to make racist jokes and bitch about liberalism to tinder matches because you sincerely have nothing else you are NGMI dude.

Lol

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

I appreciate the effort you put in to that reply. Genuinely and with all sincerity, it comes from a place of either extreme boredom or your want to help people as a decent human being and I can appreciate that.
I used nigger because it's universal on here. The classic jokes in my neck of the woods are about pakis; "when is the only time you wink at a paki?" "through a rifle scope". I don't use the word nigger anywhere except on here, it's just not a word I care about.
As for the jokes, they aren't funny because of the set up and punchline, they're funny because they're absurd.
"what's the difference between a paki and a bucket of shit?" "the bucket". That's not funny because lol, pakis r shit. It's funny because the punchline is unexpected. You can swap paki with Irishman or turk or Ukrainian, they are interchangable timeless classics.

However, my point originally about the dark sense of humour wasn't "oh she didn't find me funny/she thinks im a try hard", it was how women say one thing and mean another. That I am supposed to bend the knee and repent because she found something offensive when lying about never being offended. That, to me, is funny. It's the "hello, HR" meme. All dating apps are a meme and the women on there fall into catagories so well that it's almost comical, if it wasn't so sad.

Like those women with plastic surgery and 3 kids to different dads giving demands like; "must be taller than 6ft" "I don't date conservatives". lol, which 6ft chad is chasing you, you slag? Lmao, even.

TL;DR - women aren't funny but they're great to laugh at.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

I appreciate the effort you put in to that reply. Genuinely and with all sincerity, it comes from a place of either extreme boredom or your want to help people as a decent human being and I can appreciate that.
I used nigger because it's universal on here. The classic jokes in my neck of the woods are about pakis; "when is the only time you wink at a paki?" "through a rifle scope". I don't use the word nigger anywhere except on here, it's just not a word I care about.
As for the jokes, they aren't funny because of the set up and punchline, they're funny because they're absurd.
"what's the difference between a paki and a bucket of shit?" "the bucket". That's not funny because lol, pakis r shit. It's funny because the punchline is unexpected. You can swap paki with Irishman or turk or Ukrainian, they are interchangable timeless classics.

However, my point originally about the dark sense of humour wasn't "oh she didn't find me funny/she thinks im a try hard", it was how women say one thing and mean another. That I am supposed to bend the knee and repent because she found something offensive when lying about never being offended. That, to me, is funny. It's the "hello, HR" meme. All dating apps are a meme and the women on there fall into catagories so well that it's almost comical, if it wasn't so sad.

Those are bad jokes.
Yes you can swap the bucket of shit or scope one out with any group, so all the joke indicates is that for some reason middle easterners specifically dwell in your head constantly and she'll probably be in for a lot of uncomfortable ranting if she decides to hang out with you. Otherwise why did you pick them as the subject?

The fact that the subject of a punchline could be subbed out for any other subject with no change to the structure of the joke is a negative.

If you were making a joke about them smelling bad

Spoiler: example

I recall an old one about a doctor prescribing a middle eastern patient who's feeling under the weather to mix up a bucket of feces, decaying fish, and a bunch of other rancid shit then breath deeply from the bucket every day. The middle eastern guy comes back to the doctor a week later and says "I feel so much better doc! But what was wrong with me?" and the doctor replies "Oh, you were just feeling homesick".

that might work due to well known stereotypes about middle easterners smelling awful, but just saying "Hey this demographic is a piece of shit" isn't really comedy.

Also dark humor means different things for different people and basically until you've actually met in person and they're safe knowing you aren't an angry psycho, just err towards the safe side and don't make jokes any edgier than you'd make at a work function. Once they know you're an otherwise nice and well adjusted person you can make your jokes about black people.

 

[cocko]

"when is the only time you wink at a paki?" "through a rifle scope".

"what's the difference between a paki and a bucket of shit?" "the bucket".

I can't stress enough that these sound like they were first posted on a forum from 2003, and it destroys any sense of unexpectedness. The format and stereotypes are stale. You would have to try extremely hard to come up with a joke using black people and KFC that's tactful. If the only setup for your joke is to offend a group of people it needs to be way more creative and original, like this

Even though it's offensive and a bit mean spirited you can tell this person doesn't hold any genuine hate towards Latinas, and it's funny that they just kept going. You can laugh at "nigga hot cheetos" no matter how you feel about Latinas. It wouldn't have been nearly as funny if they only said "Nigga I need a blunt and some dick ugh" and nothing else. Comedy really is an art.

Another example that comes to mind is on OneyPlays when Chris said "I heard that Freddie Mercury wasn't even gay, he was just pretending to be for attention". It's a good example of an absurd and unexpected joke, where he was like, applying current day LGBT discourse to an iconic well respected gay man who died from AIDS in the 90s. It's an insane thing to blurt out, but it's well thought out and original, and the joke isn't degrading to gay people.
I also have this clip that always kills me:

The humor is in the delivery, not just the idea of hating women for the sake of it. Even though the premise is the obvious implication that they're going to say something sexist, the funniest lines are "okay the second word is are", "I want to say the next word", and "go ahead". They didn't even say anything sexist and the bit was better off for it.

she found something offensive when lying about never being offended.

What I'm saying is that you need creativity and tact if you're going to make risky jokes. A lot of people are rightfully put off by repeating jokes that are just punching down with overused stereotypes, because there's no comedic value there. Again do keep in mind through what I've been explaining, that your jokes can easily be misconstrued as the punch line being racism. They don't know your intent.


This might make you defensive, but I was in the same situation so I'm speaking from experience:

You have to be careful with the extent that you blame women and let your bitterness fuel interactions with them. Like yes they are sometimes insufferable. But you can't immediately rule out that you might have done something to turn them off... or generalize that every woman is like the freak sadist attention whores on tiktok who are purposely creating incel ragebait SPECIFICALLY to piss lonely guys off. You're only holding yourself back.

It's all about your interpretation and how you respond to situations. People can sense the frustration and it really affects the direction both of you push a conversation because of what you're thinking about. They're reading your body language. You have to internally relax and lower the stakes of conversations.

If you go into casual conversation with no expectations of it going any further, you'll be a lot more open and pleasant to talk to. I practiced this by talking to ugly/fat girls or ones whose personalities I knew I wouldn't vibe with, just to get more comfortable with conversation. Treating them like regular humans I wanted to interact with just for the sake of making conversation. Then it didn't bother me when we never talked again. My expectations made the situation less negative.

I know it sucks starting small when you want a wife. I KNOW. But you do have to start somewhere, and you'll grow your self esteem along the way when you see your progress. You will slowly be happier. This will attract people. Like yeah I still don't have a GF, but at least I'm way more outgoing than last year and now I make acquaintances who enjoy talking to me, and I can potentially get closer and meet new people through them. It's better than nothing, I still get depressed sometimes, but it's moving in the right direction. Seriously you have to ignore incel bait online and talk to real people.

 

[cocko]

Hi I'm back

Also dark humor means different things for different people and basically until you've actually met in person and they're safe knowing you aren't an angry psycho, just err towards the safe side and don't make jokes any edgier than you'd make at a work function. Once they know you're an otherwise nice and well adjusted person you can make your jokes about black people.

You just gotta accept that there are certain jokes you can't make around certain people, and that doesn't mean they're a cucked libtard or that you should give up on being friends with them entirely. I don't make rape jokes around my female friends unless they've made them first, because they usually think it's too serious to joke about and/or they've had bad personal experiences. A lot of people think those subjects are inappropriate to talk about, get over it, respect it instead of throwing in the towel and throwing a tantrum that everyone is a prude. Like I said you're shooting yourself in the foot refusing to connect with people who have different opinions. Intolerance isn't an attractive trait... and then alt-right tards wonder why women don't talk to them.

You'll also get better at comedy if you can make a bit out of something as inoffensive as a tuna sandwich

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

Those are bad jokes.

You just gotta accept that there are certain jokes you can't make around certain people,

Just to be clear, I wouldn't tell those jokes to anyone for all of the obvious reasons.

You've both got great hearts and minds, that's what I take away from your posts, but maybe you've picked up on, or I haven't explained well enough, the wrong parts.

And I don't hate women. I do pity and feel sorry for the ones on the dating apps because they are their own worst enemy. Sure is funny though.

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

Man: *displays crippling autism and lack of social skills*
Woman: uh ok bye
Man: These fucking whores don't have a sense of humor!!!

Typical woman moment.
Ignore reality and what's happening in front of you,
make yourself the victim
It's all men's fault.

This is why women are funny to laugh at.

 

[Negus]

By choice I guess? Who knows, never really tried. I'm still young and the women in my country are expensive. Those that aren't...well, they're the kind to end up pregnant before 18 anyway. So I decided I'd rather just stack cash and get my life on a good track first. I tried dating apps out of curiosity, turns out that most of the women there are either very old or prostitutes—the moment they sniffed I had money I was struck with several swipes of ladies (and trannies) trying to sell me their nudes or a night (but only if I paid for nudes first, I assume that is the scam). One that wasn't selling anything managed to scam me out of a bit of cash by tugging at my heartstrings with a sob story about needing help to eat, fix her phone, etc. Nothing serious though, barely a drop from the bucket.

Oh, I'm also misogynistic but that hasn't stopped me from being friends with women so I assumed it'll be fine. When I'm ready to start dating I'll just pick up dancing lessons or some other hobby that has women in it.

 

[William Murderface]

Why am I still single? Because I compromised on everything else in my life but the girl. And my standards weren't some unobtainable thing like she has to be a 10, rich, a PhD in astrophysics, a great cook, great in bed, etc. All I wanted was someone I groove with and it didn't happen.

C'est la vie.

 

[Gingervitis]

I’m 25. I was never socially gifted or liked very much in high school. College was bit better in that while I still wasn’t getting dates, I was socializing more and I started focusing more on my education. Then the scamdemic hit, and my college rolled out the vaccine mandates, and I was left with nothing to show for it. Since third places are starting to go out of business, barring work or the occasional gaming convention, jazz concert, or once in a blue moon get together with some friends from high school, I don’t really go out anymore.

 

[pentangle]

Like seriously college should be the time to fuck around and find love as well as advance your career.

I can't begin to impress upon you how true this is. Like, once you're out of college dating is *so* difficult. Dating apps are horrible because the selection consists of redditors/NPCs/people with HPV and it feels like you're just shopping for a warm body, only some jobs let you meet people at work (and even then there are HR issues), and most people who join hobby groups are either married or are single because of some insane dealbreaker (they don't want kids, they're borderline unemployed, they're man children etc.). Uni is basically the only time you meet crowds of actually dateable people naturally.

Go to the movie theater

Do people actually approach each other at movie theatres?

 

[DavidS877]

Do people actually approach each other at movie theatres?

Depends on which kind of movies they show.

 

[cocko]

Do people actually approach each other at movie theatres?

I don't know, it was just an example of a hobby you can do solo where you'll be able to relate to normies if you've seen at least a few new releases from current year. I don't know why anxietyfags are so averse to going alone, I do it semi regularly and never think about it being "weird". If you're a loner you need to adjust your priorities and not hold yourself back from having fun out of fear of randos judging you. Who gives a shit at all

Actually movies are one of my go-to's when I feel miserable about being alone and having nothing to do in the evening. I pick whatever plot seems the most interesting and usually end up enjoying it (but A Quiet Place Day One bombed sooo hard)

Uni is basically the only time you meet crowds of actually dateable people naturally.

I had the exact opposite experience. Everyone was always "too busy studying" and forgot I existed because we only saw each other for an hour a week max. Most people born after like, 1997 have never even been to a house party because they don't exist anymore. I had a classmate who went back to college at age 30 and he said the vibe was so different (I tried not to think about why he wanted to go to house parties with 19 year olds). Being born in Gen Z has been a social death sentence.

 

[Lain Poster]

Lain is my favourite anime why do you think I'm still single? I'm like ultra-autist and no one sane wants that.

 

[Giles Corey]

I had the exact opposite experience. Everyone was always "too busy studying" and forgot I existed because we only saw each other for an hour a week max. Most people born after like, 1997 have never even been to a house party because they don't exist anymore. I had a classmate who went back to college at age 30 and he said the vibe was so different (I tried not to think about why he wanted to go to house parties with 19 year olds). Being born in Gen Z has been a social death sentence.

Are you going to a small college? I hate to break to you but house parties must certainly still exist. You really strike me as the kind of person that goes to these events, talks to no one and then stops going after like the first day.

However, you do have a point. This generation is just so mindnumblingly over cautious about everything. I think a lot of this has a lot to with how socially isolated and depressed they are. So much kids just lead the boring straight and narrow lifestyle pushing themselves to get into college to get a place in a course that they don't understand. So many young women are straight avoiding a relationship of any sorts because the single life is so overly glorified in the media. I think that plays a part in why things are so dire in the dating world for gen z. A minor inconvenience? Just stay single. It's safer. With the age of the Internet and hyper risk aversion it's no wonder anxiety is so high now. We now longer face our problems. We just hide behind our phones and miss out. It doesn't help that our society has gone overly beaucraric that hardly anything can be simply done anymore.

By choice I guess? Who knows, never really tried. I'm still young and the women in my country are expensive. Those that aren't...well, they're the kind to end up pregnant before 18 anyway. So I decided I'd rather just stack cash and get my life on a good track first. I tried dating apps out of curiosity, turns out that most of the women there are either very old or prostitutes—the moment they sniffed I had money I was struck with several swipes of ladies (and trannies) trying to sell me their nudes or a night (but only if I paid for nudes first, I assume that is the scam). One that wasn't selling anything managed to scam me out of a bit of cash by tugging at my heartstrings with a sob story about needing help to eat, fix her phone, etc. Nothing serious though, barely a drop from the bucket.

Oh, I'm also misogynistic but that hasn't stopped me from being friends with women so I assumed it'll be fine. When I'm ready to start dating I'll just pick up dancing lessons or some other hobby that has women in it.

The only way you are going to move forward is to put yourself out there and keep trying. You may think stacking cash and getting your life on track first is a good idea but nothing in this world is guaranteed. If you don't know how to talk to women they'll look down on you even if you have money and I good job. You need to get experience because no matter what lacking experience will be used against you.

 

[cocko]

With the age of the Internet and hyper risk aversion it's no wonder anxiety is so high now. We now longer face our problems. We just hide behind our phones and miss out.

It's this, 1000000%. The internet and phones especially are enabling everyone to avoid social interaction.

Feel a little awkward? Time to pull out your phone and distract yourself.

Want to talk to someone more? "Maybe I'll text them... but I don't want to seem desperate, so I won't."

Not feeling like your first date was "marriage material" even though you have a lot in common and could build a connection over time? Too much effort, ghost them and go back to shopping on Tinder where you can find someone hotter and you'll never run out of people giving you attention.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

I can vouch for your college experience. In high school, when we were forced to mingle with one another five days a week, I had no trouble forging relationships with all sorts of people, but now it's as if nobody can be bothered to put in the effort. I don't think the issue is that they don't care about having friends so much as they seem to think their social requirements can be met through other, inferior means (i.e. liking people's Instagram stories).

I can vouch for the opposite. I found decent friends in college and we did stuff constantly. I was also a socially awkward piece of shit but I managed to make things work. When you show up with beer, people tend to make friends with you pretty quickly. I also got really good at playing pool and the pool room would be packed with people constantly. I was involved in lots of clubs and activities, held high positions on them. I'm bottom of the barrel in terms of what women want too and I'm not a social butterfly but I didn't have any problems finding girls in college, ever. As far as friends go, I was just over a college friend's house a few nights ago. We've been friends all this time and probably always will be. We watched bootleg Deadpool and Wolverine and got drunk.

Post college is far more difficult and requires effort. Go where women are. Don't go alone. Always have lots of friends. If you don't have friends who go out, make some. Are of these girls going to be girlfriend material? Maybe. Probably not. But maybe. Make friends nigga. Friends help more than anything else.

They'll socialize if you initiate but outside of allotted club events they won't make plans to hang out. Many are lucky to already have friends to do things with, and the rest of their time is dedicated to studying, part time work, or winding down. Social anxiety is another huge issue, with the ones who don't have friends shooting themselves in the foot by refusing to put themselves out there. The whole ordeal was so frustrating that it hurt my self esteem badly for a while because I concluded that no one liked me.

You can't make that conclusion. When it comes to friends and friend groups, someone always has to be the glue. The planner, the organizer, etc. Too many people are lazy and will put in 0 effort if you let them. You can't let them. You have to organize things to do. If you don't, nobody will. And you have to be mature about it. If you internalize it and say "it's always me putting in the effort", you'll drive yourself insane.

Then she hits you with the "I'm depressed and asexual" shtick aka you might as well not bother as a guy. You're an asshole if you don't want to spend time with her with 0 sexual prospect, because other guys are willing to put up with it. It's not the kind of person you want to live your life around.

When I encountered those women, I just left and made fun of them. Then they ALWAYS called back.

Let's say for a second that you're talking to this girl, you're hitting it off, and so the next step is phone number (fine) and socials (not fine). You respond that you don't have a Facebook, Insta, Snap, Kik, what-the-fuck-ever, and it's a detriment. She can't vet you the same way she'd vet someone else.

My only solution to that is to tell them social media is for losers and it's worthless. And they either let it go, or you find someone new. There's always more women. Seriously, don't engage with these people. It's not worth it.

I'm finding more and more that women are fucking boring. I travel, have outdoor hobbies, enjoy cycling, walking and doing fucking anything, even if it's new. Women? Nahh they say they do xy and z but they don't, they're just very very self-absorbed and boring. I can talk to any of them, get them to open up but I just don't care what they have to say because, you guessed it, they're very boring. I made this paragraph boring so you would get a real-life taste of what it's like for me when I talk to women.

Majority of women are boring. There's nothing they do other than chug wine, watch TV, and exclaim how they want to travel. Then they travel, chug wine, and take dick. And maybe do an activity for Instagram. Overall, women are just boring. Life is also boring too. The reality is, once you reach a certain age, if you don't have a family, you just become boring. Nothing you say is interesting. You maybe have an interesting career, but without a husband/wife and kids, you just have nothing else to do.

If you're going for a "white boy saying the n word" joke you have to put a little more effort to make it work contextually in conversations; I feel like these examples I found from my DMs explain what I mean

I used to tell women that the Klan needs to be making a comeback. What? No I'm not racist. I meant the Wu Tang Clan. Jesus...how racist of you to assume. But since you mentioned it, I agree, the KKK needs to return. They're needed now more than ever. Maybe then these bitches would have less black babies.

You say stuff like that, you either get blocked or laid. No in between.

I don’t really go out anymore.

This is why you have no luck. You need to go out more. Even if you have to do it alone.

 

[Prophetic Spirit]

i don't know.
I hate going out for nothing but the real problem is dealing with social interactions is tiring at best.
At least i have work.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

i don't know.
I hate going out for nothing but the real problem is dealing with social interactions is tiring at best.
At least i have work.

That's your problem. You have to deal with it. That's the only way you learn to love it

 

[Doktor Grimm]

I can vouch for the opposite. I found decent friends in college and we did stuff constantly. I was also a socially awkward piece of shit but I managed to make things work. When you show up with beer, people tend to make friends with you pretty quickly.

For sure, I'm quite confident I can work it out with the right people one way or another given enough time -- it's just a matter of figuring out how to go about things. I'm only in my first year so college relationships are something I'm still puzzling together. (Being the designated Beers Guy might be out of the question, I fear; NOBODY FUCKING DRINKS.)