Wizardchan

[Himawari]

one of my oldest friends is someone I met on the Internet in 2007. I've met her twice in person and the lack of physical contact is almost a blessing because she's practically mute in person, but very talkative over text.

Same, one of my closest friends is someone I met over the internet in 2004. She lives three hours away, but we actually hang out a couple times a year (there was one year I met up with her like five times, while I saw my other best friend who lives down the street like once). Went to visit her just a couple weeks ago, actually. She's really talkative and cracks lots of jokes when we chat online, but in real life she's super shy and afraid to speak up a lot of the time. (We went to Japan together in 2010, and we were a great tag-team because at the time she couldn't read Japanese very well but spoke it fluently, and I couldn't speak it very well but could read it... not quite fluently, but at least a lot better than she could. But then at one point we needed to know what time it was but she was refusing to speak up and ask someone, so I had to be the one to approach someone all like "SUIMASEN IMA NANJI DESUKA??")

In a way it's a lot more exhausting to hang out with her IRL, haha.

Come to think of it, two of my three closest friends see people I initially met online.

 

[Zim]

http://wizardchan.org/wiz/res/34678.html

someone is asking whether self castration would help them get on the tugboat

because they think castration will help improve them as a person

http://25.media.tumblr.com/db50207f11a4 ... o1_400.gif

Ok, so I understand autism bux and all that but how do I get officially diagnosed with autism? Who do I go to?
I've heard that if you apply so SSI with insufficient information about your disability (autism) you'll be given a free consultative exam by a psychiatrist or someone.
Can NEET bux /wiz/ards help me with this one?
bump
Would castrating myself convince the state I'm crazy enough to get autismbux?
I wouldn't bleed to death that fast, not before an ambulance arrived.
Self harm is really frounded upon. They won't release you until they're reasonably confident that you won't try and hurt yourself again, and that you aren't trying to trick them so they let you go and you can hurt yourself some more. This takes months.
Could my parents watch over me to make sure I don't harm myself anymore?
That's not how it works. They'll keep you in the hospital basically under lock and key for as long as it takes for your balls to heal, then they'll drive you across the street to the mental hospital and keep you in there for at least a week, probably much longer. You will be responsible for all costs associated with this, and the costs will be astronomical. Don't do it.
If I am deemed incapable of working, how could I possibly be expected to pay for it? And I must do it, not just for the autismbux, to put my mind somewhat at peace
I can understand if you feel like your libido is too high, I've felt that way before, hell, I feel that way now, but self harm only ever makes things worse. ... If the problem really is just libido, there are chemical options.
You don't understand my situation entirely. My libido is already relatively low( thought I would like it gone entirely), but I want to castrate myself so I can finally rebuild an identity for myself that has been shattered since puberty and I will finally have my self-esteem back and I will no longer be trapped in depression and constantly tormented by OCD. And it isn't at all helped by the fact that my family is poor as hell, having to sleep on a torn up couch in a small house with no central heating with four other people. My family is too poor to even take me to a psychologist. I'm at the end of my will to take it any longer, but I want to see if my life could improve by becoming a eunuch.
Castration is a surgical procedure. It's painful, bloody, and dangerous. Even if you don't bleed out, you could still end up dying slowly (and painfully) from an infection. If you managed to do it perfectly, there would still be the issue of a lack of testosterone. A man is much more than his physical strength, but physical strength is something that a man can always fall back on in times of trouble. Castration would make it very difficult to build muscle, and "eunuch" is not going to impress anyone if you put it on a resume, not even the femdom types.
I already am extremely week, so castration will make no difference, and if everything does turn out well and I survive and get my autismbux without any crushing debt, I probably won't even try to get a job.

Castration as a grab for govmint' moneys? Great idea! He derserves whatever's coming to him! Fame, fortune, wome....... oh wait.

 

[Fialovy]

tfw making plans to meet girlfriend that I met on the Cwcki in real life

tfw that thing you just said

tfw it's been almost a year since my bf Dun and I met over the Cwcki and there has been another happy couple that has found each other since then.

No seriously, I find that amazing

 

[CatParty]

I hope they all cut their dicks off

 

[Watcher]

http://wizardchan.org/b/res/16671.html
What Wizards say when someone asks them if they have a girlfriend

I'm too lazy for having one, it would be far too demanding.

>just look at me

Some succubi once asked me about my sex life.

I raised my left hand, and said: "This is my sex life".

I say that my face is not symmetrical enough to attract succubi of my standards.

Why are they asking you this at all? In my case I am unemployed, awkward, obese, and living at home at 25, so nobody would have reason to ask.

Plus, all that aside, the most I would want from a GF is an on-demand slut who talks to me. One who I meet maybe once a week at my discretion to play videogames, eat, and then fuck. I seem to barely have enough time/motivation for my own hobbies and self-education (with the possibility of returning to school in the near future), much less the desire to take on the chore of maintaining a succubus. Unless I found some succubus who I truly loved and who trily loved me, I see no reason to devote timw to a relationship.

I usually find myself making up elaborate lies about past gfs to hide that fact that I've never had a gf and haven’t even spoken to a succubus for the past couple years.

At least their honesty is funny

 

[Silver]

I seem to barely have enough time/motivation for my own hobbies and self-education (with the possibility of returning to school in the near future), much less the desire to take on the chore of maintaining a succubus.

"maintaining"

 

[Arkangel]

http://wizardchan.org/b/res/16671.html
What Wizards say when someone asks them if they have a girlfriend

I'm too lazy for having one, it would be far too demanding.

>just look at me

Some succubi once asked me about my sex life.

I raised my left hand, and said: "This is my sex life".

I say that my face is not symmetrical enough to attract succubi of my standards.

Why are they asking you this at all? In my case I am unemployed, awkward, obese, and living at home at 25, so nobody would have reason to ask.

Plus, all that aside, the most I would want from a GF is an on-demand slut who talks to me. One who I meet maybe once a week at my discretion to play videogames, eat, and then fuck. I seem to barely have enough time/motivation for my own hobbies and self-education (with the possibility of returning to school in the near future), much less the desire to take on the chore of maintaining a succubus. Unless I found some succubus who I truly loved and who trily loved me, I see no reason to devote timw to a relationship.

I usually find myself making up elaborate lies about past gfs to hide that fact that I've never had a gf and haven’t even spoken to a succubus for the past couple years.

At least their honesty is funny

Because simply saying "No, I don't," or "I'm single" doesn't have any sort of connotations that make you want to pity them and pander to their victim complex.

 

[Green Nidoking]

I seem to barely have enough time/motivation for my own hobbies and self-education (with the possibility of returning to school in the near future), much less the desire to take on the chore of maintaining a succubus.

"maintaining"

Of course. After all, you gals are so hard to "take care of", and you certainly can't take care of yourselves. The great knew this and made sure that Sonichu would go to the mall with Rosechu when he first met her, so he could make sure her spending was managed.



I need a gif of someone smashing their head into a wall...

 

[Watcher]

I need a gif of someone smashing their head into a wall...

 

[Green Nidoking]

I think my life would be better if I had a cyanide capsule in my pocket all the times.
You know why? Because it would be an "escape" capsule letting me explore the world with total freedom.
I would be able to go out and talk to girls and people,maybe try yo go full normalfag,try to go to parties and have gf.
If everything fails I would have the opportunity to kill myself without pain… I already want to kill myself so I don't have anything to lose.
Carrying a cyanide capsule at all times (like some USAAF pilots) would actually make me free.
Someone knows where I can buy one?

http://wizardchan.org/v9k/res/69087.html#69123

...

Please refer to Cuddlebug's post above.

 

[Watcher]

Wizards and job interviews
http://wizardchan.org/v9k/res/68998.html

>Be a 30 year old wizard NEET
>get interviewed for entry level position, I repeat… ENTRY LEVEL
>entire job is basically scanning barcodes for inventory
>seriousbusiness.jpg
>recruiter has me sit though a 20 minute orientation video
>goes over my work history
>pokerface.jpg
>work history is vast chasms of nothingness dotted with brief spurts of mediocrity.
>Longest 2 jobs held lasted one year each
>asks why he should hire me
>manage to stammer something along the lines of "I really need the job?"
>tells me he won't hire me because I didn't dress 'professional' enough

I hate all that bullshit interviewers expect at interviews. No I don't give a shit about you or your company, I'm here because you'll give me money for doing something I'll probably end up disliking.

At my last job interview I had to have a multiple day, three stage, three person interview. Just to fucking cook steaks at a steakhouse.

What was the point of all that shit when most of my coworkers were illiterate Mexicans?

Imagine if you owned a company that you spent money out of your pocket running, and you needed to get someone to cook steak for you. Some guy walks in and tells you "I don't give a shit about you or your company, I'm here because you'll give me money for doing something I'll probably end up disliking." I mean imagine how much you spend on an employee you have to fire in a week, and you're going to hire some asshole who can't give a shit about anything but himself?

>No. I applied to other places but nobody wants me.

McDonald's actually has a policy of hiring mentally retarded people. That's right, the corporate leviathan that is McDonalds considers retarded people a better investment than average NEETs

Oh boy a Wizard calling someone else retarded

I am so alienated from society that sometimes I sperg out really badly during job interviews. I still cringe when I think about that one where I started talking to the interviewers about how I thought the PS3 was superior to the Xbox360, I don't even know how the fuck the conversation moved to that kind of shit, I guess I was too embarassing for the job so they just started chatting about random shit to not make me feel too bad about it.

Job interviews are actually something I used to have a lot of problems with. The way I got around it was I took a day class to learn how to write a resume properly and how to conduct interviews, then I got a job. It's not rocket science but you can't afford to get overconfident and act like you're better than everybody. Because you won't get hired and you'll look worse than someone who's underqualified, because at least the underqualified person wants to be there.

You also can't have big stretches of nothing in your resume because it'll make you look like a lazy fuck or a criminal. To avoid that you need to try doing some volunteer work or take some classes so you can get some recent experience.

 

[Springblossom]

http://wizardchan.org/v9k/res/69165.html

This is so pathetic I can't even think of a snarky comment to make.

Relationship is just a social construct, "getting serious", "sex life" and whatever normies come up with. We are all the prodigy of violent gang rapes in the past.

...what.

Job interviews are actually something I used to have a lot of problems with. The way I got around it was I took a day class to learn how to write a resume properly and how to conduct interviews, then I got a job. It's not rocket science but you can't afford to get overconfident and act like you're better than everybody. Because you won't get hired and you'll look worse than someone who's underqualified, because at least the underqualified person wants to be there.

You also can't have big stretches of nothing in your resume because it'll make you look like a lazy fuck or a criminal. To avoid that you need to try doing some volunteer work or take some classes so you can get some recent experience.

"Well, you got over it, stupid normalfag. Obviously your situation is completely different from ours and your advice will be of no use to us."

 

[Silver]

"Well, you got over it, stupid normalfag. Obviously your situation is completely different from ours and your advice will be of no use to us."

isn't that how chris thinks?

 

[Overcast]

Job interviews are actually something I used to have a lot of problems with. The way I got around it was I took a day class to learn how to write a resume properly and how to conduct interviews, then I got a job. It's not rocket science but you can't afford to get overconfident and act like you're better than everybody. Because you won't get hired and you'll look worse than someone who's underqualified, because at least the underqualified person wants to be there.

You also can't have big stretches of nothing in your resume because it'll make you look like a lazy fuck or a criminal. To avoid that you need to try doing some volunteer work or take some classes so you can get some recent experience.

My mother told me that the customer comes first, and that telling the interviewer in question that you like to help people and placing them ahead of most everything else makes you look good. Not that I don't like to help people, it's just helpful to mention that during an interview.

Also, I definitely agree with the volunteering thing. Before I got the job I have now, I used to volunteer at a place that gives out food to those who can't afford groceries on a monthly basis. The guy who was interviewing me happened to be a pretty big supporter of that particular place, so between that and being professional during the interview, I was able to get the job.

Anywho, I wonder what the wizards are doing this Christmas day?

 

[Himawari]

Anywho, I wonder what the wizards are doing this Christmas day?

The same thing they do every day, Pinky.

 

[Springblossom]

"Well, you got over it, stupid normalfag. Obviously your situation is completely different from ours and your advice will be of no use to us."

isn't that how chris thinks?

They think exactly the same way. If you used to be shy, introverted, or depressed, but then overcame it, then your situation is completely different from theirs and they want nothing to do with you, and they will always find some way that your situation is different.

When I found this thread, I tried to reach out to them, since I used to be a depressed NEET. but they didn't want any of it.

"Oh, you always had at least one friend? normie pls go, you don't belong here."
And if I hadn't had a friend, they would say, "well, you're not fat and ugly like us, you can't help us."
And if I was a fat slob, they would say, "well, you probably had good parents, mine were shitty and didn't care about me enough."
And if I had bad parents, they would say, "well, you don't have the 'failure genes' that we do, we're just guaranteed to be failures in whatever we do."

they'll just keep moving the goalposts until they find some way in which they fall short of you, and them blame everything on that.

 

[Silver]

I used to be pretty obviously autistic. I overcame that through careful observation of human interactions and forcing myself to reach out to others. I now have some really close friends I wouldn't otherwise have and I don't appear immediately autistic.

pointless anecdote over

 

[Picklepower]

I hope they all cut their dicks off

If they hate sex and relationships as much as they claim, they shouldn't miss their dicks too much.

 

[KatsuKitty]

I used to be pretty obviously autistic. I overcame that through careful observation of human interactions and forcing myself to reach out to others. I now have some really close friends I wouldn't otherwise have and I don't appear immediately autistic.

pointless anecdote over

Same and I basically had to learn what things were likely to piss people off and learn not to do them. My filter routinely puts down attempts to shoehorn irrelevant bits of conversation or steamroll on about pointless things they don't care about.

 

[Springblossom]

I hope they all cut their dicks off

If they hate sex and relationships as much as they claim, they shouldn't miss their dicks too much.

But if they couldn't masturbate, they'd have even less to do to fill their empty days.