Worst RPG members ever

[Illuminati Order Official]

And this is why Lawful Neutral sucks.

Never got that in P:T points-based system even when I tried. I know the gist: don't lie, follow the law, don't say crazy things... And then Death's Advocate appears and expects me to restrain myself from making him crap his pants during a lecture.

 

[TFT-A9]

Never got that in P:T points-based system even when I tried. I know the gist: don't lie, follow the law, don't say crazy things... And then Death's Advocate appears and expects me to restrain myself from making him crap his pants during a lecture.

Something to remember about Planescape as a setting and Torment as a game: alignments are explored in exceedingly literalistic manners at times, the entirety of the setting is pretty much a riff on various ethos, a way to show what happens when most other aspects of the human perception take a back seat to beliefs and convictions. Change and lack thereof is a constant theme in the game itself. A number of characters and factions are outright piss-takes on various trains of thought (and yet many still maintain a certain degree of relatability even as they're comically flawed in their "perfection").

 

[Next Task]

Characters who are so broken that they overshadow everyone else to the point where combat begins to orbit around them and they suck the challenge out of the game even if built badly.

I haven't played nearly any of the games getting talked about here, but I have played Arcanum. And what should be everyone's favourite party member in that can also be a combat hog that ends up costing you XP because they're just so lethal that you don't get the extra points for causing your own damage.

I am, of course, talking about the dog you can rescue from being beaten to death. He's a Very Good Boy, and he's also a lethal fighter who quickly becomes a fearsome destuctive force. I could never call him a bad member of your party, but it's true he's OP, and when half your XP from combat comes from the damage you specifically do, he out-levels you quickly. I'd never have the heart to kick him out, though. Or, even worse, not rescue him.

 

[Colloid]

For as amazing as the first two Paper Mario games are, they have some partners with terrible movesets.

Paper Mario 64 has Lakilester. He’s a lakitu that you find in chapter 6 who has spiny flip, spiny surge, hurricane, and cloud nine. Spiny surge isn’t inherently bad since it’s the cheapest partner attack that can hit all enemies at the trade off of less base damage (a moot downside depending on the enemy’s hp). Unfortunately that’s really all he has that puts him above other partners. Spiny flip is just Parakarry’s sky dive so that’s nothing special. Hurricane is a slightly better Bow’s spook unlocked at a point in the game where you’ll easily be powerful enough to end most fights in 1 or 2 turns anyway. Cloud nine is a riskier version of Bow’s outta sight where you’re giving yourself a 50% chance to avoid damage for 3 turns instead of a 100% chance to avoid damage for 1 turn and skipping Bow’s next turn. Personally I’ll always take the more consistent, but less powerful defensive moves and stats over the riskier ones since they’re easier to strategize with.

In short, Lester is my least used partner in 64 since 3 of his 4 moves are overshadowed by other partners.

Meanwhile in TTYD we have Ms. Mowz who is miraculously an even worse fighter than Lester. It’s a shame that her attacks aren’t as good as her personality because I love having her out to read her responses on everything, but so it goes.

Ms. Mowz is an optional partner that you can get by chapter 5, and she has love slap, kiss thief, tease, and smooch. Love slap is basically piercing blow that costs no fp; it targets the frontmost, grounded enemy and pierces defenses. This would be a good deal if hammering damage didn’t scale worse than jumping damage, and wasn’t heavily restricted in not targeting flying or ceiling enemies but it is, and that’s why love slap and by extension piercing blow are terrible. Chain chomps are the only enemy I know of where the defense pierce trumps these downsides, but that’s just one enemy out of hundreds. Kiss thief is just a way to steal items off enemies in fights rather than an actual attack. It’s rare for enemies to have something worth stealing so you probably won’t use kiss thief much at all really. Tease is an attack that has a chance to apply the dizzy debuff to all enemies. This is completely overshadowed by the Clock Out star power and should never be used. Immobilized is a far better debuff then dizzy since it’s guaranteed to waste the enemy’s turn rather than only give a 33% chance to hit. Smooch heals Mario for 10 hp and costs 10 fp. 10 fp is a terrible trade for that amount of healing when items and the Sweet Treat star power exist. As long as you competently manage your inventory and star points you’ll never need to use this.

In short, Ms. Mowz is great for looting the overworld, but also worst fighter in the series.

 

[Jeff Boomhauer]

Paper Mario stuff

I refused to use Flurrie unless I had too, because I got sick of looking at her.

 

[MysticMisty]

Meanwhile in TTYD we have Ms. Mowz who is miraculously an even worse fighter than Lester. It’s a shame that her attacks aren’t as good as her personality because I love having her out to read her responses on everything, but so it goes.

Ms. Mowz is an optional partner that you can get by chapter 5, and she has love slap, kiss thief, tease, and smooch. Love slap is basically piercing blow that costs no fp; it targets the frontmost, grounded enemy and pierces defenses. This would be a good deal if hammering damage didn’t scale worse than jumping damage, and wasn’t heavily restricted in not targeting flying or ceiling enemies but it is, and that’s why love slap and by extension piercing blow are terrible. Chain chomps are the only enemy I know of where the defense pierce trumps these downsides, but that’s just one enemy out of hundreds. Kiss thief is just a way to steal items off enemies in fights rather than an actual attack. It’s rare for enemies to have something worth stealing so you probably won’t use kiss thief much at all really. Tease is an attack that has a chance to apply the dizzy debuff to all enemies. This is completely overshadowed by the Clock Out star power and should never be used. Immobilized is a far better debuff then dizzy since it’s guaranteed to waste the enemy’s turn rather than only give a 33% chance to hit. Smooch heals Mario for 10 hp and costs 10 fp. 10 fp is a terrible trade for that amount of healing when items and the Sweet Treat star power exist. As long as you competently manage your inventory and star points you’ll never need to use this.

In short, Ms. Mowz is great for looting the overworld, but also worst fighter in the series.

I'm going to go ahead and guess that this was done deliberately because she's optional. They didn't want people to feel like they "had" to get her, just enough that you can get a nice little bonus (mainly for stealing badges) but otherwise aren't missing out.

As for Lakilester, I don't know if they just didn't want the partner at the end of the game to be this OP latecomer, or if they needed an 8th slot for his overworld ability and didn't know what else to do with him. I can see it being the latter since the Yoshi kid is the best of Lakilester and Watt but without their specific downsides.

 

[Friendly Primarina]

It's been said many, many times but Mallow gets his face ground into the bench the second Peach shows up. Geno is useful because he can double another character's attack/defence. Once these stats are increased there are only two bosses in the game that can reduce it (Culex/Smithy).

Spoiler: FE autism

FE4: Arden/Johan/Johalva. The only reason they aren't completely useless is that someone has to stay back at the castle and re-seed the RNG.
FE6: Cecilia. Terrible growths (even for a prepromote), invites herself along on the worst possible map and is possibly a pedo. Sophia because she is supposed to be an Est but she has terrible growths and you already have Raigh.
FE7 Eliwood. Enough said. Lyndis is good, but her low strength means she needs a killing edge or Wo Dao to be useful, and those aren't cheap. Also Renault, because he's a lv. 16 bishop with 12 Mag. If you don't have a usable light magic user by this point then go without; Athos can use Aureola.
FE8 Any "trainee" class. The gimmick behind these guys is you raise them to level 10, then the promote into one of the base classes (e.g. the magic trainee can promote into a Lv. 1 mage or shaman at lv. 10). The idea is that they have 10 extra levels of growing room. The problem is IntSys "balanced" this by giving them mediocre growths, to the point where they just end up on par with the rest of the team except it takes 25% ,more work to get there.

The Pokemon games give Pikachu so many boosts (especially the light ball) that I'm tempted to say Raichu. Which is a shame because I like Raichu

 

[Danone]

Everyone in Fire Emblem Awakening, Fates and Three Houses.

 

[NoonmanR]

Edward the Bard from FFIV. Anyone who's special skill is to hide from battle is pretty useless.

 

[Jinmen]

The kid in the first Suikoden that just stands in front of your castle after you recruit him.

 

[Sable]

The kid in the first Suikoden that just stands in front of your castle after you recruit him.

Qlon?

Yeah, he doesn't even gossip like Onil does. Plus his name is the same as a temple later in the game which is confusing.

 

[Jinmen]

Qlon?

Yeah, he doesn't even gossip like Onil does. Plus his name is the same as a temple later in the game which is confusing.

Yes, that's him.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

The lion man from FFX. He was so weak and useless. I know there's probably some pro-strat to make hime a powerhouse but playing the game as a normal human he was just dead weight.

 

[Urbanmech]

The lion man from FFX. He was so weak and useless. I know there's probably some pro-strat to make hime a powerhouse but playing the game as a normal human he was just dead weight.

There isn't, him and Lulu just plain suck at the end compared to the others due to their crappy Ultimate weapons and Overdrives.

 

[Dysnomia]

The lion man from FFX. He was so weak and useless. I know there's probably some pro-strat to make hime a powerhouse but playing the game as a normal human he was just dead weight.

Khimari or something like that. I know there's a random "h" in there somewhere.

You'd think such a huge beastman would be better. He's just furfag bait. There was a hell of a lot of fanart depicting him cornholing Tidus. This is why you stay away from fandom galleries.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

I just remembered Lucia from Shadow Hearts 2. She had two special abilities - one was complete shit roulette wheel which, like always, is kinda nice for bosses if it hits and a party wipe if it doesn't. The second ability was combining perfumes for effects, it might have been good but I'd rather not memorize the few broken ones and just use a more interesting characters.

Also nice body but ugly face.

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

I just remembered Lucia from Shadow Hearts 2. She had two special abilities - one was complete shit roulette wheel which, like always, is kinda nice for bosses if it hits and a party wipe if it doesn't. The second ability was combining perfumes for effects, it might have been good but I'd rather not memorize the few broken ones and just use a more interesting characters.

Also nice body but ugly face.

WHAT THE FUCK!? I WAS JUST ABOUT TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT HER!

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

WHAT THE FUCK!? I WAS JUST ABOUT TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT HER!

It's the internet collective conciousness

 

[DuranceVile]

Yes, that's him.

View attachment 2949975

Man Suiko 1 had such a distinctive art style. I want to slap 14 year old me for thinking it looked bad.

Bad party members:

Grandia 3 Anybody who comes after Miranda and Alonso leave your party.

Miranda is the protag's mom, and is actually a pretty cool character. They have a good dynamic together and having a parent figure stick around in a JRPG is pretty rare. You later run into Alonso, a seafaring satyr dude who is pretty chill. IIRC he's voiced by Gene Starwind from Outlaw Star too. A bit of a romance starts up between the two of them. Eventually they decide to split from the party. Went to Gamefaqs to see when they come back. They don't, in fact, the game basically pretends they don't exist from then on. You get way more generic JRPG party members from that point onwards.

They are pretty much the only bright spots of that game's story. I legit couldn't tell you anything about any other character or what happens in the game. There's a reason the Grandia series stopped after this one.

It's a shame too, because Grandia 2 is one of my favorite JRPGs.

On the western RPG side we have Jake Anders from DA2. It was very clear the original DA writers had all left to be replaced by gigglesqueeing whedon huffing tublrinas. Anders got a complete personality lobotomy between Dragon Ages and turned into some fujo's uwu softboi fantasy. I've never relished the taking the option to kick a party member out faster when he does mage 9/11. I think the dwarf was the only party member I actually liked in that game.

DA2 really was the canary in the coalmine that Bioware was dead.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

You'd think such a huge beastman would be better. He's just furfag bait. There was a hell of a lot of fanart depicting him cornholing Tidus. This is why you stay away from fandom galleries.

The fun thing is that the game traps you into a solo battle with him, so if you've just been ignoring him then fuck you.

Teach the furry to steal so you can get Lv3 Key Spheres from his boss fight though. That's basically the extent of his usefulness.

For my vote it's this guy:



He basically just tags along while your real team does the work. He's not great at magic and he's got a mid-range throwing knife attack that doesn't do much damage.