Write a scary story in two sentences

[Rungle]

I came to the doctor for my prostate exam.
He found my lost hamster.

 

[glass_houses]

You log in to kf to discover that you've been doxed and that there's already a dedicated halal thread on you. Your mobile phone buzzes with text after text from your various family members, as one after another is fired from their job courtesy of pressure and social media bombing from troons who don't even live in the same fucking country...

 

[Rungle]

Niggers. Niggers.

 

[Sloppy Party Bottom]

Titties, titties, yum yum yum.
Titties, titties, on a girl with a cock that you didn't know about until you drank that funny tasting drink.

 

[Ventrue]

Why do I see familiar faces dying before my eyes?
Because your youth is fading along with everything in it.

 

[glass_houses]

You are aging, growing older and more frail every single day. There is only one way to stop this process.

 

[Turquoise]

With democracy now suspended, the Democratic Party were free to pass any law they wished, constitutional or not. Governor Ian Kochinski stepped forward.

 

[Adolf Hulkler]

I am a pirate, i saw something scary.
Niggers were getting on the boat.

 

[Steve Martin Short]

Ooh, there's been an update on that thread I'm watching.

Aww, it's just Null locking it until something actually happens.

 

[BABANGUIDE64]

Can you feel my finger stuck up your ass? But both my hands are here!

 

[Phoenix Connexion]

Light Yagami makes the stoic Agent 47 can't help but bursts into laughter.
I don't know, something to do with their eventual end.


Bonus:

10th year anniversary on YouTube!!

 

[BONECRUSHER]

You are born as a woman. In India.

 

[HalHalliday]

"Hello, neighbor." Said the gypsy.

 

[Phoenix Connexion]

Your boss caught you lurking this Forum at your work desk.

And he just walked away, no warning, no reprimand, no pink slip.....

 

[Homo neanderthalensis]

The Epstein list has not been released because of a computer error. One of the guest's name was null and it messed up the program.

 

[Paradox Mystic]

Your life is being made into a movie. It will be a Netflix adaptation.

 

[Solomon Bundy]

I saw the last man on Earth standing before me, amidst the ruins of civilization.

"Ay yo, muh man," he said, with his useless swagger and clownish ill-fitting clothing, "ya'll ain't got no smokes?"

 

[Mad_Dog]

Son. We have to talk.