Write a scary story in two sentences

You wake up from a pleasant dream and feel an arm around you. You live alone.
 
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You stop to catch your breath and look around. You realize its much closer than you thought.
 
As you finish constructing your treehouse from the inside, something hits you. You realize you forgot to build a door.
 
There was a man who ejaculated when he tried to piss and pissed only when he came. Doctors fought to save him, but his bladder ruptured before they could find the plans for the Nazi pedal powered masturbation machine that would have been his Lorenzo's oil.
 
You turned on the TV to watch Samurai Pizza Cats, but instead you hear “おっとどっこい過去、おっとどっこい未来、
エドロポリスはヒステリー。“

Your face when you realized you’re in Japan.
 
You groggily stumble out of bed to see what's making the noise in the kitchen. You turn on the lights to see a giant grizzly bear rummaging through the kitchen.
 
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