Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

“No professionals call me weird” has the same energy as “that waitress smiled at me so she’s flirting,” IMO.

It’s literally their job to do those things and handle things as professionally as possible, fucko.

Thank you for taking the words out of my mouth, @VoidFace . OF COURSE mental health professionals aren't going to tell someone that they're a fucking weirdo. It's kind of part of their job to try to build up people's self-esteem, to make them think that their problems are manageable, and a try to be a sort of parental authority influence. Can you imagine a therapist telling someone "Yeah you're a fucking weirdo pedophile... get the fuck out of my office you piece of shit"

I think the salient detail about being mean to cats is that Suzanne happened to have cats, but I think Lucas would have been just as mean, or just as ignoring, with dogs. Pets require a level of focus and responsibility that Lucas doesn't even have for himself. I imagine he would balk at being asked to change a litter box, to put food and water in an animal's bowls, regardless of whether it was a cat or a dog. Assuming he wasn't actually abusing the animals, kicking them or what have you, Suzanne probably took the cats with her because she knew that Lucas wouldn't feed them. That's my read on the situation.

Fatty just posted this:



... Where did he get the idea that this woman makes fun of him? Isn't this one of the lolcows that the geek room follows? That's the only time I've heard anyone mention foodie beauty...

 

[VoidFace]

Fatty just posted this:

View attachment 2566002

... Where did he get the idea that this woman makes fun of him? Isn't this one of the lolcows that the geek room follows? That's the only time I've heard anyone mention foodie beauty...

Better question: how can Lucas, who looks like a gourd wearing a burlap Jabba the Hutt costume, unironically post something like this? A man who has literally combed his hair with chicken is calling someone else, a woman who looks like she has her life and personal grooming together (at least better than Lucas, idk who she is), a "slob."

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I was thinking about how Lucas's narratives evolved over time. All of us who have been here for more than a couple years remember the day when he was close to the BLM protests, and he admitted that he ran away from it to go back to the shelter because it was too intense. Now, he's retconned that into saying that he "marched with BLM". And of course we all know how him screaming in the park about how he can't get his dick wet turned into him protesting for women's rights, gay rights, and African American Rights.

Lucas's reality is a very plastic thing.

 

[Kingfisher9000]

That kind of thinking can turn into paranoid loon territory pretty fast. Hell I can't stand cats. Has nothing to do with control or abuse. It has everything to do with the fact that they piss and shit in litterboxes in the house, scratch the shit out of furniture, leave dead animals in random places and walk around on counter tops and tables, which isn't sanitary at all

Any woman using that as 'thats a red flag!' is a pretty big red flag for being a mental case herself. There is a reason crazy cat lady stereotypes exist

Chill man, I didn’t say “all men who hate cats are abusive” that’s not what red flag means. I don’t think most women consider one red flag to be a bad sign by itself necessarily. It’s when a red flag is accompanied by multiple other red flags that it starts to be concerning. Maybe it’s a little paranoid yeah, but I can’t blame them for being careful. When a guy dates a crazy chick, she’ll (probably) only steal his money or ruin his stuff. When a woman dates a crazy guy, he might murder her.

 

[Twrx]

Well, you can't leave us hanging.

Bit of backstory, when I was stationed on Lewis, we lived off post in Lakewood. I called Lakewood pd on her multiple times, I'd have visible wounds and they wouldn't do shit because the unofficial policy for them, was to never arrest the woman. One night when she was beating the shit out of me, I grabbed one of her arms, so she could only hit me with one, I got arrested and did a night in solitary in the Tacoma jail. Luckily, I kept detailed logs and nothing came of it. And because I'm a fucking moron, I gave her a second chance a few years down the road. Abuse picked back up, she was choking the shit out of me, like to the point of tunnel vision. There was no way in fucking hell I was going to let myself see the inside of a jail again. So I just accepted dying. Someone called the cops, who broke the door down and arrested her. And that cat? She killed him when I said I was filing for divorce.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

Bit of backstory, when I was stationed on Lewis, we lived off post in Lakewood. I called Lakewood pd on her multiple times, I'd have visible wounds and they wouldn't do shit because the unofficial policy for them, was to never arrest the woman. One night when she was beating the shit out of me, I grabbed one of her arms, so she could only hit me with one, I got arrested and did a night in solitary in the Tacoma jail. Luckily, I kept detailed logs and nothing came of it. And because I'm a fucking moron, I gave her a second chance a few years down the road. Abuse picked back up, she was choking the shit out of me, like to the point of tunnel vision. There was no way in fucking hell I was going to let myself see the inside of a jail again. So I just accepted dying. Someone called the cops, who broke the door down and arrested her. And that cat? She killed him when I said I was filing for divorce.

Hope your doing better now that’s fucked.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

"While I was losing weight, I ate a full pizza and came here for 2 full dinners..."

Lucas, you're such a silly fat faggot.

 

[Narr Then]

Thank you for taking the words out of my mouth, @VoidFace . OF COURSE mental health professionals aren't going to tell someone that they're a fucking weirdo. It's kind of part of their job to try to build up people's self-esteem, to make them think that their problems are manageable, and a try to be a sort of parental authority influence. Can you imagine a therapist telling someone "Yeah you're a fucking weirdo pedophile... get the fuck out of my office you piece of shit"

I think the salient detail about being mean to cats is that Suzanne happened to have cats, but I think Lucas would have been just as mean, or just as ignoring, with dogs. Pets require a level of focus and responsibility that Lucas doesn't even have for himself. I imagine he would balk at being asked to change a litter box, to put food and water in an animal's bowls, regardless of whether it was a cat or a dog. Assuming he wasn't actually abusing the animals, kicking them or what have you, Suzanne probably took the cats with her because she knew that Lucas wouldn't feed them. That's my read on the situation.

Fatty just posted this:

View attachment 2566002

... Where did he get the idea that this woman makes fun of him? Isn't this one of the lolcows that the geek room follows? That's the only time I've heard anyone mention foodie beauty...

That's not the cow crossover I was expecting on this thread tbh...

Better question: how can Lucas, who looks like a gourd wearing a burlap Jabba the Hutt costume, unironically post something like this? A man who has literally combed his hair with chicken is calling someone else, a woman who looks like she has her life and personal grooming together (at least better than Lucas, idk who she is), a "slob."

I see your point about him having no room to talk, but they do have a fair bit in common. She's definitely never been accused of having her life together or having decent personal hygiene before. The woman is a complete train wreck.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Bit of backstory, when I was stationed on Lewis, we lived off post in Lakewood. I called Lakewood pd on her multiple times, I'd have visible wounds and they wouldn't do shit because the unofficial policy for them, was to never arrest the woman. One night when she was beating the shit out of me, I grabbed one of her arms, so she could only hit me with one, I got arrested and did a night in solitary in the Tacoma jail. Luckily, I kept detailed logs and nothing came of it. And because I'm a fucking moron, I gave her a second chance a few years down the road. Abuse picked back up, she was choking the shit out of me, like to the point of tunnel vision. There was no way in fucking hell I was going to let myself see the inside of a jail again. So I just accepted dying. Someone called the cops, who broke the door down and arrested her. And that cat? She killed him when I said I was filing for divorce.

I'm so sorry. I hope things are better for you now.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

"While I was losing weight, I ate a full pizza and came here for 2 full dinners..."

Lucas, you're such a silly fat faggot.

He's literally walking outside clinkerdagger, to relive the glory of binging with two huge meals over the course of an hour. It's like a serial killer revisiting a site where he killed and raped a body to get a little frisson of nostalgia.

It was "one of the most beautiful experiences of his life". It's incredible that Lucas doesn't seem to acknowledge any of the negative consequences of gluttony. Feeling nauseous, feeling overly full, realizing that you're a fat disgusting bullfrog pedophile, you know, those things.

This once again reveals Lucas to be faaaaaar away from a romantic, and perhaps indicates why he doesn't care what young woman he ends up with. The most beautiful experience of Lucas's life isn't love, connection, accomplishment, no, it's gorging himself. Lucas doesn't have romantic nostalgia for women, they're just clits. Lucas tears up over prime rib.

And he's insulting this foodie beauty woman? At least she seems to know she's obese, and isn't presenting herself as God's gift.

 

[PrincessKidana]

Fatty just posted this:

View attachment 2566002

... Where did he get the idea that this woman makes fun of him? Isn't this one of the lolcows that the geek room follows? That's the only time I've heard anyone mention foodie beauty...

Okay, so... Lucas has absolutely NO room talking about people being slobs. We've all seen how he eats. Cows have better table manners AND they don't chew with their mouths open half as much as Lucas does. He is absolutely repulsive. I'm not familiar with this woman, but hopefully she takes better care of herself than he does. Even if she doesn't, as I said, he has no room to talk.

 

[Bassomatic]

She's trash and all (check her thread) but I really can't think how Lucas talks down to anyone. She weighs less, bathes sometimes and isn't stuffed in a tard house. She's got real fans too Lucas.

You know who abuses animals Lucas? Serial killers. You abuse animals too. Wonder why people shy away from you? It's not classism its a fat rag man, who behaves like a serial killer trying to rape young girls. I don't even need to keep going but Lucas is like school in summer, no class.

Also he's gay, any guy who sucks dick is a feggit.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Hey Lucas here's one even you don't need to Google, you're a fuckin retard.

 

[Mister Uno]

Looks like the fatass has covid tongue. Sexy.

It's said that Lucas licks his unvaccinated enemies to spite them. Biological warfare for those against the great Werner :^)

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

She's trash and all (check her thread) but I really can't think how Lucas talks down to anyone. She weighs less, bathes sometimes and isn't stuffed in a tard house. She's got real fans too Lucas.

Chantal isn't in a tard house only because she has a vagina and thus there's always some sap willing to take care of her, and she makes money for stuffing food in her fat face. Basically, Lucas wishes he was her and is jealous.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas pretending the lack of upvotes doesn't bother him

 

[Wernology]

I thought this one deserved its own video.

It's not like some "weird sex toy" dumbass, it's dehydration and thrush.

Edit: Or as someone else pointed out, it might be covid tongue since he did have covid!

 

[wenttobermuda]

I do not like, or admire, Lucas's yeast infection. His oral thrush does not entertain or amuse me. Especially when he presents it as a "sex toy." The same type of fungus that plagues puss puss has colonized Lucas's mouth.

He's literally walking outside clinkerdagger, to relive the glory of binging with two huge meals over the course of an hour. It's like a serial killer revisiting a site where he killed and raped a body to get a little frisson of nostalgia.

It was "one of the most beautiful experiences of his life". It's incredible that Lucas doesn't seem to acknowledge any of the negative consequences of gluttony. Feeling nauseous, feeling overly full, realizing that you're a fat disgusting bullfrog pedophile, you know, those things.

This once again reveals Lucas to be faaaaaar away from a romantic, and perhaps indicates why he doesn't care what young woman he ends up with. The most beautiful experience of Lucas's life isn't love, connection, accomplishment, no, it's gorging himself. Lucas doesn't have romantic nostalgia for women, they're just clits. Lucas tears up over prime rib.

And he's insulting this foodie beauty woman? At least she seems to know she's obese, and isn't presenting herself as God's gift.

The serial killer analogy is delightful, and spot on. Lucas can't eat like he wants to today, but he can stimulate himself, relive the experience of past feasts, by visiting the Clinkerdagger and filming himself foodie wanking. Calls to mind ol' Gary returning to the scene of his crimes between murders, trying to capture some of the power and joy he felt while strangling his victim before he could go out and do it again.

Beauty is subjective. Yet it seems that Lucas hasn't had many beautiful experiences in his life, if gruesome overeating is in the running for the most beautiful experience. Yet I suspect that if Lucas had been married, had children, graduated college, climbed Mt. Everest, overeating would still be in the running.

A person that mistreats animals can hurt a person.

And I wouldn't date guys that don't like cats, or any other animal. You tell me during our first date you don't like animals, I'm done with you, unless you have a VERY good reason, like being bitten in the face by a dog, or you're allergic.

Cats and dogs can be trained to stay off off counters, and not scratch the furniture.
In my lowly opinion, kids can tear up you place as much as an animal, you just gotta train them too.

Someone once told me some guys don't like cats because they're traditionally seen as a woman's pet, and dogs are more of a man's pet. Therefore, they think it makes them look like a less of a man if they have a cat. Made sense to me at the time, the guys I knew that disliked cats all acted like macho jackasses.

Spoiler: on cats and tormenting fat faggots

I am, by all accounts, a macho jackass. I am also the owner of an abnormally large number of cats, and the "benefactor" of a local feral colony that I have systematically sterilized and adopted out. A cruel, testosterone poisoned disposition is not necessarily incompatible with cat fancy.

I am an ogre, and I do not require a pet to drive home the point or make a statement about my identity. Many of my fellow ogres would not be caught dead with anything but a pitbull, or some fighting dog with an exotic-sounding name and bloody pedigree. They are lesser ogres.

I've long thought of my interest in Wernology (and lolcows in general) as largely driven by a jock's instinct to hector the fag. It is difficult to feel sympathy for Lucas because he is monstrous, so the jock instinct is allowed its fullest expression. But maybe that's the wrong way to think about it.

Maybe I relate to Lucas the way my favorite cat relates to his "screaming toy." It's a stupid, fluffy little contraption that makes agonized chirps when he fucks with it. It sounds like a dying animal in distress, and my cat cannot get enough of it. From my human POV, it seems something about it excites his predatory instincts, feels right to him, allows him to be a cat doing cat things even though he is in an air-conditioned house and wearing a collar.

I'd like to think that the cat gets the same thing out of the toy that I get out of one of @klickitat's Lucas compilations.

 

[Wernology]

Going through old DMs with Lucas from accounts I no longer use, have the absolute bullshit fantasy of "president wern".

Editing as I find more gems.

Here's one about Lucas completely not being able to read body language. Please pardon my playing a ditz in these DMs, he's way more willing to run his mouth if he thinks you're a ditz and believe he's super intelligent.

 

[Twrx]

Hope your doing better now that’s fucked.

I'm so sorry. I hope things are better for you now.

I am now, but that was a banner fucking year for me, choosing her, lead to really one of my few regrets, that I'm going to carry until I die.