Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

SnusBurns · Oct 12, 2021

Q_Anon1001 said:
Around September 23 of this year, someone pointed it out, concidently it was also around the time he was playing with a blow torch

I would have to look, but I'm pretty sure it happened around mid July. Josh was out of lighters so he started going out with a torch and then that happened.

Ellesse_warrior · Oct 12, 2021

SnusBurns said:
I would have to look, but I'm pretty sure it happened around mid July. Josh was out of lighters so he started going out with a torch and then that happened.

It's possible he burned it more than once, I remember him using the blow torch and it being mentioned he burned his hat more recently. It's really surprising that he hasn't done more damage than a singed with that blow torch

KillThemCrackasBabies · Oct 12, 2021

Thomas Highway said:
The staff not selling really upset him.

Though the huge price tag should have made that obvious, I was pretty much convinced the Pigs woulda bought it before the week was out. Once they bought his old used undies, I figured anything he flung up would have been grabbed by these degenerates.

I'm glad there's finally a bottom floor that's too much for some people.

Q_Anon1001 · Oct 12, 2021

Ellesse_warrior said:
It's possible he burned it more than once, I remember him using the blow torch and it being mentioned he burned his hat more recently. It's really surprising that he hasn't done more damage than a singed with that blow torch

Lolcows are like cockroaches. They'll survive enough to keep giving content.

Also, if he had 75 dollars wouldn't that be enough to cover his electric bill? I guess it must have been 85 or something.

Hambubger · Oct 12, 2021

Thomas Highway said:
I admit, I did not watch last night's stream long enough to see the Inner Demon emerge and the begging.

Dark Lord seems to have returned to his previous state of dire financial straits. There's not enough people willing to buy those goofy sticks to sustain 60 dollar food deliveries. Of course, that did not stop the Pizza Time video today. Dark Lord can't stop. Dark Lord won't stop.

The staff not selling really upset him.

All he's gonna do with the money piss it away literally from drinking it or feeding the Casper troglodytes. Even if he sold the stick why won't he just get a hooker with the funds at this point in his life either he pays or accepts that he is cursed with a neverending dry spell

Thomas Highway · Oct 12, 2021

Hambubger said:
All he's gonna do with the money piss it away literally from drinking it or feeding the Casper troglodytes. Even if he sold the stick why won't he just get a hooker with the funds at this point in his life either he pays or accepts that he is cursed with a neverending dry spell

Dark Lord will probably never have sex again.

Unless Warlord is involved.

TurdFondler · Oct 12, 2021

I have a feeling that everyone other than cobes knows that ms. green is going to decompose sooner rather than later, copious amounts of hot glue be damned.

Broseph Stalin · Oct 12, 2021

TurdFondler said:
I have a feeling that everyone other than cobes knows that ms. green is going to decompose sooner rather than later, copious amounts of hot glue be damned.

He could have preserved her in resin for some Jurassic Park vibes. But then again, this is Cobes we're talking about.

Ellesse_warrior · Oct 13, 2021

Broseph Stalin said:
He could have preserved her in resin for some Jurassic Park vibes. But then again, this is Cobes we're talking about.

A Mrs. Green version of that mosquito cane from Jurassic Park would have been cool

Edit Here's more of the 2016 archives and BCV summaries:

I got a new electric guitar 2016-12-01

Josh got an early Christmas present from his family, a BC Rich Warlock | 0:34 Josh's computer is a little broken | 1:00 Josh introduces his guitar | 4:42 Josh reviews the guitar and says it's a 10/10 | 5:46 word of advice, don't punch your computer | 6:26 Josh made a comment on Facebook about girls turning their nose on Josh in school and mention him cheating on Stephanie and gets pissed |

Unboxing fan mail 2016-12-01
Josh gets deathwish coffee in the mail from a fan, the video has no audio but Josh plays guitar and shows off his tobacco

New drink combo and cooking vid on the way 2016-12-03
Josh's computer barely works so he's uploading a video | Josh is drinking Coors beer mixed with two whiskeys | 1:30 Josh is working on his 8th album | 6:00 Josh says thanks to Scotty for giving him LA Noire for his PS3 | 7:19 Josh has been working on his novel while his computer is broken | 8:30 Jeremy Rasta Man Rogers was arrested for throwing a bottle of piss at a police officer but was released to see his family for the holidays | 10:22 Josh talks about a new video with Scotty in it | 11:45 Josh found a new hatred for the drug war when Jeremy got arrested

Satan s 6 spicey burger challange part 1 2016-12-06
Josh starts the video halfway through cooking a burger for a challenger, he's cooking it in Coors beer |

Satan s 6 spicy burger challange part 2 2016-12-06
Josh shows off all the hot sauces that he's going to put on the burger for a challenge | 14:18 a puddle of hot sauce under the burger | 17:13 Josh starts the 'challenge' and eats the burger | 17:45 cheese pull | 19:48 Josh starts coughing | 21:00 Josh likes spicy but daaam! | 22:16 Josh's asshole is going to hate him tomorrow | 24:46 mouth is on fire | 28:00 Happy birthday Ozzy |

Making ice cream bread 2016-12-07
1:00 Josh heard that medical weed may be legal in Wyoming next month and he would get a green card | 7:00 Josh sets the oven to bake at 420 degrees | 29:40 Josh says his computer is broken and he has to make videos on his phone from now on | 53:32 Chicks dig dudes that can play guitar and cook, they overlook autism for that | 1:07:50 Josh talks about the t-rex burger challenge and it's coming eventually |

My buddy does the Satans 6 spicy burger challange 2016-12-08
Jeremy Rasta Man and Jon https://www.facebook.com/lostboitwitch are over at Josh's apartment and Jeremy is attempting the challenge | 1:09 Jeremy starts to eat the burger | 3:19 Jonathan Banks starts to plug his channel | 4:14 Jon and Jeremy start talking in a British accent and do it pretty well | 5:19 Jeremy's wife starts calling him | 6:38 Jon plugs his channel and he's a dancer | 9:20 Jon tells Josh to show his Devil Horns and says it makes him look like an old man, Josh didn't like that comment | 11:00 Jon says he has more British in him then Josh |

my opinions on abortion 2016-12-09
Josh is outside wearing some retro headphones | 00:52 Josh is heading to Scotty's house | 1:18 Josh sees churches around town saying pray to end abortion and does an impression | 2:19 Josh is pro choice and hates the churches | 4:27 Josh says an abortion is like putting down a dog... | 6:30 someone says hello to Josh | 8:35 a dog starts barking at Josh and says he's not sacred of anything | 9:33 abortion is a humane thing if you know a baby will be born with complications | 13:44 a lot of women don't find him attractive and mentions Scotty has tried setting him up and it's failed | 15:00 Josh says his autism is a gift | 15:20 Josh says Scotty is a ladies man | 19:19 Josh she's a cute girl in tight jeans |

How to make pancake beer and talking about the holidays 2016-12-09
Josh is at Scotty's house hanging out | 1:23 Josh says Warlord Alex C is engaged to Wenona | 1:53 Josh has been employing for jobs left and right and can't afford gifts for Christmas | 3:23 Josh says he's not Christian and says people kill each other over black Friday | 6:37 Alex C hooked him up with tobacco and papers | 7:00 Josh says he can't roll cigs because of his autism | 7:54 fuck Elliot Rogers |

LA Noire game review 2016-12-09
1:27 Josh has been playing LA Noire and he likes it | 5:40 Josh is hiding his widows peak |

Learning from my mistakes 2016-12-10
Someone told Josh to film his videos sideways on his phone | 0:13 Josh has been looking for ever video showing off Real Love Sex Dolls and removing them because his cooking video got flagged | 1:00 Josh doesn't blame the quality of the sex doll, he's taking responsibility for destroying it | 3:00 Josh gold told to enjoy the fame he got from destroying the doll because Josh originally thought people discovered his channel because of his guitar playing | 4:23 cheating on Stephanie and living with it and stalking women in high school | 5:10 Hopes Stephanie is happy with her life | 5:27 difference between an asshole and a nice guy | 6:20 deleting all his sex doll videos | 7:00 paying back vaypor the $1,000 | 8:00 sex doll | 9:30 Deathwish coffee vid has no audio because of computer problems | 10:20 someone made a YouTube poop about Josh | 11:20 Josh loves the pussy and eating it | 11:50 trolls hate him because he's comfortable with who he is | 12:48 Josh does nothing to deserver harassment online | 13:04 Josh talks about punching his computer | 14:22 Sex doll video flagged | 15:17 being lonely and socially awkward | 15:46 dealing with regret and self hate | 16:30 punching his computer and made it worse | 17:55 Josh says conundruff and says if women see him with a sex doll will get grossed out | 18:38 using his autism as an excuse for everything, he's tired of it | 19:16 being obsessed with crushes | 21:35 cheating on Stephanie | 24:30 depressed around the holidays | 26:52 people are jealous of his fame and is going places with his YouTube | 28:00 trolls stealing his avatar etc | 29:00 some days Josh wants to quit YouTube | 30:00 Josh has a lot of people who have his bank on Facebook and YouTube | 30:29 KingKobra | 33:00 raising money through selling shirts on tee spring | 34:00 He's not going to mention his channel if he gets a job and talks about the job hunting in Casper being bad | 41:00 Josh goes on real love sex dolls and builds his sex doll | 47:20 Josh turns off his computer | 48:00 Josh has nothing to cuddle at night | 1:00:00 Josh is not going a-sexual but he's focusing on getting as job and improving on guitar | 1:01:40 Josh has hot girls on Facebook | 1:02:22 talks about meeting Stephanie in job corps | 1:04:50 Josh made Stephanie a nympho | 1:11:10 Asshole guys turn girls into sluts and sluts turn gentleman into assholes | 1:12:00 Josh cheated on Stephanie while they were long distance | 1:12:18 Josh regrets telling her he cheated on her and starts rubbing his pot leaf earring | 1:14:15 Josh felt guilty so he told her | 1:15:50 Josh says he has confidence in himself and people don't like it | 1:18:00 Josh talks about the trolls |

Tipsy and speaking my mind 2016-12-11
00:36 Josh was hanging out with some friends but then they went over to another friends house | 2:34 Scotty has been trying to set up Josh with a girl but he wishes he wouldn't because he's more focused on getting a job to spoil his future girlfriend | 4:33 Josh is hard to set up with and he's a-social | 6:13 the only thing Josh has going for him is his muscles, guitar playing and his dick | 6:53 When Josh drinks he turns into a smart ass but he has to keep it down unless he pisses someone off because he has to kick some ass. Josh loves violence | 9:10 Josh is a BIG DUDE | 10:00 it will take FOUR people to pull Josh off someone | 10:25 Josh will rape and pillage your home and he blames his Viking ancestry | 11:48 Josh doesn't need his fists to kick someone's ass, he can cast dark spells | 12:41 Josh may be lonely as fuck when he has a craving for pussy | 15:13 craving for pussy | 16:26 Scotty and Tina have been trying to set him up with someone | 17:52 "you'll find a girl some day" bullshit | 20:46 Josh knows he's good looking | 21:46 girls are missing out on the best sex they could ever have | 25:00 Josh feels like there's something wrong with him because he keeps getting rejected

Clint's Burden · Oct 13, 2021

I imagine this is the face Josh makes when he wakes up every day and see's his staff isn't selling:

Terrorist · Oct 13, 2021

But is Cobes really a lolcow though? He can stop drinking whenever he wants, doesn’t even care about his dry spell, and is against all forms of rape.

Buffalo Chicken Sandwich · Oct 13, 2021

Terrorist said:
But is Cobes really a lolcow though? He can stop drinking whenever he wants, doesn’t even care about his dry spell, and is against all forms of rape.

He's also got mad respect for women even if they don't respect him, he's a civil rights activist, responsible gun owner, he's something much more powerful than a wizard, got huge muscles and tells it like it is. That's what's up, toobz.

Leonard Persin · Oct 13, 2021

Buffalo Chicken Sandwich said:
He's also got mad respect for women even if they don't respect him, he's a civil rights activist, responsible gun owner, he's something much more powerful than a wizard, got huge muscles and tells it like it is. That's what's up, toobz.

He has been turned down by every of age female crush he has had since middle school. Yet still respects women, and totally doesn't stare at them with his wonky eye. Plus he has all those fan girls toobz.

Cunning Lettuce · Oct 13, 2021

Kat The TanTen10 said:
He has been turned down by every of age female crush he has had since middle school. Yet still respects women, and totally doesn't stare at them with his wonky eye. Plus he has all those fan girls toobz.

Yeah, but all of those girls who turned him down in high school regret it and say "wow I wish I didn't turn down Saunders in high school he's a Youtube celebrity"

Genetic Mt. Dew · Oct 13, 2021

I’m a sexy, attractive, gothic, bad boy, musician, with big muscles, a big penis, I’m a YouTube celebrity. I play guitar, quite well, I sing amazingly, I cook, I make videos…that people seem to like. So why the fuck is it so hard for me to get a god damn girlfriend? Like seriously, uh…I’m not tryin’ to bitch. I’m not tryin’ to throw a pity-party, I’m I’m just sayin like what the fuck?

Clint's Burden · Oct 13, 2021

Kat The TanTen10 said:
He has been turned down by every of age female crush he has had since middle school. Yet still respects women, and totally doesn't stare at them with his wonky eye. Plus he has all those fan girls toobz.

That's a really strange dynamic to his ego because some weird women have genuinely sent him pictures of their tits and shit, so he thinks tons of women like him. It must frustrate him to some degree that the mentally ill women who send him tit pictures coincidentally don't ever pursue courtship. Then there's the mountain of troll accounts pretending to be women, who he'll get on Facebook Video Chat with and just whip his pecker out to.

masterblaster · Oct 13, 2021

You guys just don't get it... the thing is, there's TONS of girls wanting to fuck him. Do you know how intimidating it would be to be with someone of that celebrity status though?