It’s just so incredibly classic. The borderline feeds the narcissists desire for constant praise and no boundaries. This is an unsustainable dynamic because when the borderline splits (as they all do) they will scream and cry abuse - real or imagined. This is exacerbated by the lack of boundaries. You can’t cry abuse when you consent and cheer on the violation at the time - even if later you regret it. The narcissist may or may not see that their partner has no boundaries - but at some level they are intuitively attracted to that.
That aside - borderlines are always uncomfortable. They are like people with emotional third degree burns all over their body. Even the slightest PERCEIVED slight can send them into a spiral and inevitable image split of their target. It’s an inevitability. The clock is ticking. We may have actually bought them time for their relationship as we give them a common enemy - so Alyssa can focus her ire on us instead of the people closest to her. Bonbon can play Prince Charming saving her from evil Kiwis.
Additionally: I think she definitely has histrionic personality traits - if not fully fledged. Pretending to be plural (factitious psychological symptoms) , pretending to be blind, talking loudly to yourself in front of others (attn seeking), trying to seduce the waitress for genderblob sex, wearing inappropriate clothing or being completely nude, approval seeking behavior, hyper-sexuality/sexual promiscuity ala”Sex Work is WORK!” , and of course they perceive relationships to be more intimate than what they actually are - which is why she claims Bonbon must be her soulmate. This overlaps a lot with borderline but is more consistently “showy” and IMO more obnoxious.
Some Borderlines can at least camouflage as normal for a time being - at least until they are emotionally triggered. Histrionic typically act just so bizarre it’s impossible not to have some awareness they’re odd - even if you think it’s just a form of eccentrics. Which leads me to wonder again - WHY did those people hire her around children. WHY would a doctor give her testosterone and adderall?!
Personality disorders typically manifest in adolescence - even if they can’t be diagnosed formally until adulthood. There is simply no way they just sprung up over the past 3 years. She has always been this way to an extent. What has escalated her behavior? I’m not sure. Perhaps new trauma, perhaps isolation, perhaps internet echo chambers, perhaps the adderall and later Testosterone.
I have worked with a lot of borderline females. Most of them simply lack the awareness and mental capacity to improve. They are suffering but to some extent it’s like brain damage. You can’t reason with the irrational. The few I have met that have overcome are either not severe, we’re misdiagnosed completely, or had extraordinary intelligence/introspection.
The “help” Kindness needs is the help she will never take. She needs a therapist & psychiatrist to call her out on her shit - and she needs to grow the fuck up and listen. Therapists now are super pussified and many psychiatrists are just in it for the medical sales.