Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

I know Lucas is insane and dumb but at times like his grifts he can see reality. I'm torn is he really able to shun haters about losing limbs and digits? I'm sure doctors told him very fucking clearly. So not just us kiwi bullies. Or does he see this as his next ez lock in. People are willing to do insane horrible stuff like get AIDS Prego etc for free shit, I can put it past Lucas to surrender a foot for a roof and meals.

Ok so new kiwi poll what gets evicted first fat boy himself or a few toes from his nurgle stump?

Edit: Since where he's living is the fuck you give us your check kinda scam dump, I bet no one bothers to bathe him. Really it's one thing to be a dirty boy like Dr. Nigga Luke but when you got wound care to be on top of it's fucking priority.
 
I am starting to wonder if his diabetes is the reason he was placed in the assisted living/nursing home? Like he qualified for it based on needing someone to keep him on some regular drug regimin related to the diabetes as well as the mental health issues?

It seemed somewhat odd to me that he would qualify for assisted living based on mental health issues alone. There’s a lot of crazy people living on the streets in this country. Putting him in assisted living as an end around the fact he is persona non grata at the shelters seemed a little weird but if his diabetes is way worse than he lets on then it would make sense to put him in a nursing home.

Pure speculation on my part here but it makes some sense.
 
I know Lucas is insane and dumb but at times like his grifts he can see reality. I'm torn is he really able to shun haters about losing limbs and digits? I'm sure doctors told him very fucking clearly. So not just us kiwi bullies. Or does he see this as his next ez lock in. People are willing to do insane horrible stuff like get AIDS Prego etc for free shit, I can put it past Lucas to surrender a foot for a roof and meals.

Ok so new kiwi poll what gets evicted first fat boy himself or a few toes from his nurgle stump?

Edit: Since where he's living is the fuck you give us your check kinda scam dump, I bet no one bothers to bathe him. Really it's one thing to be a dirty boy like Dr. Nigga Luke but when you got wound care to be on top of it's fucking priority.
I've worked in group homes and some people just don't give a shit. Not most of them but plenty of folks will outright ignore doctor's orders. Lucas is definitely one of those people. Anybody who tells him what he doesn't want to hear will catch a block, even doctors.

The only way I see him changing his diet is if he develops diabetic neuropathy and is in constant pain. Even then, he'd probably just demand more opium from a pain care management doctor and get high as well as fatter.
 
This isn't Lucas work, right? It can't be. This is satire, right(?), the work of some unimaginative ween.
I made it.
Surely Lucas wouldn't offer evidence of his inability to care for himself as proof that he can, in fact, care for himself. If you live in an assisted living facility, and receive EBT benefits, this is prima facie evidence that you cannot care for yourself. Perhaps he's grown self-aware and is making a joke. But no, Lucas didn't come up with that.
But he did with the EBT card. In one of his recent videos he was claiming the fact he was able get an EBT card is proof that he can take care of himself (and a future child).
He didn't say it about the assisted living facility, I just added that for extra lulz because it fits with the same stupid Lucas logic.
 
So these foot wounds are a result of reduced blood flow to the feet and reduction of sensitivity in the nerves of those feet right? Hmmm. What other low hanging appendages (or in his case not so low hanging) require optimal blood flow and nerve sensitivity in order to perform a very specific function? As if he needed any more reasons why it'll never be in the cards.
 
So these foot wounds are a result of reduced blood flow to the feet and reduction of sensitivity in the nerves of those feet right? Hmmm. What other low hanging appendages (or in his case not so low hanging) require optimal blood flow and nerve sensitivity in order to perform a very specific function? As if he needed any more reasons why it'll never be in the cards.
Mother Nature is so efficient.
 
Caption This: The original says when you find out Haggis is illegal in the USA
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More enlightened talks about Communist societies from the Wern (boring). Just him trying to sound impressive and smart.
 
I feel so bad for any medical staff that need to treat him. He probably doesn't bother to shower before his appointments.
I remember when he was HOMELESS and at Motel 6 he would brag about "showering every day" but then when he went to LA he said he "hadn't showered in weeks" and in one of his lives recently he said he hadn't showered in a couple of days! WHY Lucas??? WHY are you not showering at least once a day when you now have housing and a place you CAN shower everday?! WHY???
 
Caption This: The original says when you find out Haggis is illegal in the USA
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More enlightened talks about Communist societies from the Wern (boring). Just him trying to sound impressive and smart.
Inspired by the acid wash, i proffer:

"What do you mean the Molly Hatchet show is canceled?"
 
Lucas, You are far from Dashing and Debonair. You are an insane, bald, obese, stench riddled bum living in an assisted living facility. Diabetes is rotting your feet. The only time someone calls you "Daddy" is to troll you. You will die alone.

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He looks like death warmed over but thinks he's dashing and debonair?

Cary Grant was dashing and debonair, Lucas. You look like the contents of an overflowing litterbox.
 
Lucas trying to flex by bringing up mundane shit he hasn’t done is endlessly amusing.
In the grand scheme of things $900 really isn't that much money. But as as been pointed out, Lucas has an elementary school view of money. He has never really earned money. Like he couldn't wrap his head around how someone could spend $150 to mess with him. I sure as hell would not drop money like that to tip a Lolcow, but for some people $150 is nothing to worry about.

A $900 dog is not impressive. There are lots of dogs that you can adopt for way less than that. But $900 is really not a ton of money in the big picture for most people. But for a hobo $900 is a relative fortune.
 
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