Phil is just starting to wake up right now. He rolls over in bed, the sloshing of the gin in the bed is loud, Phil accidentally poured a bottle of it on himself in the night, luckily he is going to Total Wine and More today. Phil grunts loudly, snorts angrily when he sees that Jasper has shitted on the floor next to the bed again.
Phil’s early morning WWE champion pulls are gonna have to wait, he needs to find that cat, and scream at it. Then tell his 350 lb wife to clean up the shit. Phil waddles down the stairs, his knees cracking on every step, his shit stained underwear is fused to his skin from the sweat and gin, causing Phil even more discomfort. Phil snorts in pain.
Phil finally makes it to the bottom of the stairs, tired and drained. He makes it to the kitchen and before he can tell Khet about Jasper, his black heart sinks. Khet ate her Door Dash meal from IHOP but also consumed Phil’s IHOP breakfast as well. Phil is too tired and demoralized to yell at both Jasper and Khet, so with his breakfast already devoured, Phil grabs a handful of dry cat food and heads for the toilet. Phil feels yet another bout of diarrhea coming, he is glad to get it out this early, because he really embarrassed himself at Pands Express last week.
As he is waddling to the toilet, Khet yells at him that she cracked the seat of the toilet because the toilet paper dispenser is at awkward angle for her to grab. Phil angrily snorts again but then thinks he could use the broken toilet seat as a way to get more pity bucks. Khet then also tells Phil that she is hungry and really excited for Shari’s today. Phil grunts and wonders about who has the raw deal in this relationship?
Life is tough for Phil.
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