Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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I can almost guarantee you the forbidden knowledge he believes he struggles with is the simple fact that the world isn't a very kind or nice place and it's not going to treat him well. You know, the kind of thing most people come to terms with in their late teens or early 20s. The only difference is that Bob is convinced that world is only an unkind place because enough evil people haven't been killed.

“The world is not against you, but the world is a place where bad things happen. It’s just true. Airlines crash, people do evil things. A lot of bad things happen and it causes pain.”

Philip Yancey

The world is a tough place to live in, that’s the truth. I don’t get why Bob and people like him refuse to accept this.

Anyone got any theories?
 
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The world is a tough place to live in that. I don’t get why Bob and people like him refuse to accept this.

Anyone got any theories?
An unshakable conviction that the sacred Safe Space is inviolate and can be expanded outward if you believethink and browbeatdialecticize hard enough.
 
Occam's Razor says that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. Bob is a virgin and Chris Chan being locked up means he has no chance of ever losing his V card.

My hypothesis is that Bob seeming extra crazy and hateful lately is because his virginity is weighing on him. Nobody that has ever gotten laid has time to write a quarter million tweets.
I'd say it's more his lack of a life is weighing on him. When you're 40, you're officially done with being young. And as other people have pointed out, what does he have? A Twitter filled with vitriol, a Youtube channel that hemorrhages engagement, and that. Is. It. He owns no real property, lives with his mom, and his loser brother managed to procreate. Bob is the definition of a loser, but he cannot accept it. Sad, because if he could, then the healing could begin, and he might become someone worth a damn. It's never too late, he could try to make some indy films. Even if they go nowhere, at least he's doing something.
 
Robert still doesn’t realize that using emojis like this is just further signaling that he is pants-shitting stupid.
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Tucker Carlson and his guests have a greater claim to being people than than you do, Bob. I base that both on your valueless NPC-tier Twitter contributions and the fact that you physically resemble less a human being and more a misshapen mound of melted plastic.
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The world is a tough place to live in, that’s the truth. I don’t get why Bob and people like him refuse to accept this.

Anyone got any theories?

I call it "I suffered enough in life" attitude.
It's the kind of attitude where someone thinks all the shit they got in high school was more than they deserved and that their adult life should be pleasant as compensation.
 
I call it "I suffered enough in life" attitude.
It's the kind of attitude where someone thinks all the shit they got in high school was more than they deserved and that their adult life should be pleasant as compensation.
Interesting theory, but I'll propose a counter theory. Easier to bitch on twitter than to better yourself in any way. Wouldn't want Bob and his ilk to start trying.
 
You know what? Fuck it. I'd mentioned that I had an image of Bob that also corresponded (related, maybe?) with Rod Serling's quote about the Obsolete Man. Welp, here it is:
View attachment 2669798
If you're wondering why Bob's current Twitter avatar was chosen over his previous one (in which he wears shades in front of a clip-art level gradient), it gives off a smug, self-satisfied appearance to someone who (quite foolishly) considers himself a "superior", more "educated", more "informed", more "knowledgeable" entity than two-thirds of the U.S. population.
Be fair. Bob's more educated, knowledgeable, and informed about moving back in with his mother at the age of forty than most people.
It's never too late, he could try to make some indy films. Even if they go nowhere, at least he's doing something.
On MST3K, one of the most beloved (and terrible) films ever riffed was a movie made in 1966 by a fertilizer salesman called "Manos: The Hands of Fate." The guy made it as a result of a bet with a friend, and while it remained obscure for decades, when it was found it was given new life by MST3K, including a remaster, a sequel, and a prequel. Who knows what could happen with a film made by Bob?
 
Be fair. Bob's more educated, knowledgeable, and informed about moving back in with his mother at the age of forty than most people.

On MST3K, one of the most beloved (and terrible) films ever riffed was a movie made in 1966 by a fertilizer salesman called "Manos: The Hands of Fate." The guy made it as a result of a bet with a friend, and while it remained obscure for decades, when it was found it was given new life by MST3K, including a remaster, a sequel, and a prequel. Who knows what could happen with a film made by Bob?
Manos had a sequel and a prequel?
 
Probably an unpopular opinion but I'm willing to go so far to believe that Bob may have gotten some pitty pussy at his short stint at college. I fully admit that there's no direct proof of that though I would like to submit that Bob is an exceptional projectionist and I have no recollection of him ever calling someone a virgin. It's just some food for thought.

I would also like to say that even if he has stuck his wiener inside of an actual vagina I think we're long past the point, both in Bob's life and in the world at large, where that's anything worth being proud about. A dog can have sex. A dog can have sex with a white girl. Does Bob having such awful sex that it turned the girl gay make him more of a man? Even if were the bestest, eye rolling back into your skull, boning ever I'd argue no. My reasoning is because the purpose of sex is to make babies. Even lesser brother figured that out. At this rate Bob will not ever have children which means he doesn't have a future. It'd be kinda different if he had some sort of outreach or non-profit or someway to make an actual change not even in the world at large but just in Lynn but no. What he has is a dwindling youtube channel, growing rage, and the once a year autist and/or troon who @'s him on twitter saying "this one video changed how looked at consoomable media and now I super love consoomable media". That's not a legacy. That tranny isn't going to fly across the country to comfort Bob on his deathbed, hold his hand and say "yeah it was a lot of fun". That unironically makes me sad just typing that out.

I'm not suggesting that anyone stop calling Bob a virgin/with rage. I'm just saying that I personally don't think him being a virgin is the worst thing going for him.
I don't think putting your dick in a passed out drunk chick during college counts does it?
 
Holy fuck, I am dying laughing. This might be the saddest thing I've seen. Bob has no specialized knowledge, his takes suck ass, and he has the personality of... well MovieBob.

Whatever faustian pact Bob made that required him selling his happiness for knowledge, he's definitely entitled to a refund.

What knowledge could he even mean? The ability to wikipedia Marvel properties? Or to have absolute schizo takes on the lore of Mario?

Truly he has a dizzying intellect.
I'm going out onna limb here and postulating that the arcane "knowledge" Bob believes he possesses, is How to Get to the Soopeeryah Fyootchah(tm). First of all, need to minecraft all the R-voters/blue dog democrats as if they're Daywalkers among us, or at least make sure they can't vote. That way the opinions they inflict upon society will be drowned out/unheard, and therefore the Holy Soopeeryah Fyootchah can begin, brought in by now-unfettered Scientists and Thinkers(tm), unencumbered by the concepts of traditional morality, for that way lies backwardness and will deny Bob his well-earned mario-shka brain in a robot body and his Moon Wheat(tm).

If only the powers-that-be listen to Bob while he furiously tweets bile at those he considers Unpersons (because they hold back the Scientists somehow while Believing), and they do as he recommends (including transporting 100 Cocaine Hippos to the middle of Florida or wherever), then finally, finally, the Holy Soopeeryah Fyootchah(tm) will come.

It's like a damn kid that's way too old for it, waiting for fucking Santa Claus at Christmas. Or better yet, Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin.
 
I'd say it's more his lack of a life is weighing on him. When you're 40, you're officially done with being young. And as other people have pointed out, what does he have? A Twitter filled with vitriol, a Youtube channel that hemorrhages engagement, and that. Is. It. He owns no real property, lives with his mom, and his loser brother managed to procreate. Bob is the definition of a loser, but he cannot accept it. Sad, because if he could, then the healing could begin, and he might become someone worth a damn. It's never too late, he could try to make some indy films. Even if they go nowhere, at least he's doing something.
He doesn't even need to make films. If he contacted Linkara and offered to do a crossover together, he could go to Minnesota, film a dumb skit, and then just hang out. It would only be a couple of days, but the interaction with another human being who isn't related to him and isn't a friend of his brother's would probably do wonders. But he won't do that, because it would require him to leave his safety bubble, and he probably assumes he deserves to do crossovers with people bigger than Lewis. But those people want nothing to do with him, so he'll be forever alone.

Interesting theory, but I'll propose a counter theory. Easier to bitch on twitter than to better yourself in any way. Wouldn't want Bob and his ilk to start trying.
Exactly. And if they don't better themselves they can join in on being angry at Republicans because they're an easy scapegoat.
 
It's like a damn kid that's way too old for it, waiting for fucking Santa Claus at Christmas. Or better yet, Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin.
How seasonally appropriate.

I can picture it - MovieBob staying up all night in a pumpkin patch, his Mario blazer covering him for warmth, as he awaits the Great Scientist Man to come down from the Moon Ship to deliver him his wish of wiping out the Mayo-Ghouls. Meanwhile, everyone else is out actually trying to enjoy Halloween.
 
He doesn't even need to make films. If he contacted Linkara and offered to do a crossover together, he could go to Minnesota, film a dumb skit, and then just hang out. It would only be a couple of days, but the interaction with another human being who isn't related to him and isn't a friend of his brother's would probably do wonders. But he won't do that, because it would require him to leave his safety bubble, and he probably assumes he deserves to do crossovers with people bigger than Lewis. But those people want nothing to do with him, so he'll be forever alone.


Exactly. And if they don't better themselves they can join in on being angry at Republicans because they're an easy scapegoat.
God, a Linkara and Bob cow crossover would be beautiful. I don't really follow Linkara's thread, but he and Bob would make for quite the spectacle.
 
God, a Linkara and Bob cow crossover would be beautiful. I don't really follow Linkara's thread, but he and Bob would make for quite the spectacle.
But does anyone know what Linkara thinks of Bob? It won't go well if Linkara finds Bob's opinions as problematic as Lindsay did, even if Bob isn't trying to get in Linkara's pants.
 
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