Svetlana Helsinki
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2021
What was that thing he wrote about punching someone and fucking their girlfriend and having a beer, but using a coaster?
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2019
Around 10 years ago. He actually had a girlfriend then, as hard as it is to believe. If Lucas wasn't homeless for years, he'd probably look like that again, he looks on the road to it again with his current stay at Mallon Place.
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2019
Nah.. I think that's late highschool/20s aged wern. He wasn't that fat with Suzanne
Maxxicus Callahan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2021
He makes so little sense sometimes in what he is trying to say with these memes. I don’t even think he knows half the time.
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2021
Wait, what does he mean by this? Is he actually acknowledging that he hasn't been seriously looking or trying? Or is this mean old Gen Z who's not looking hard enough for Lucas? Or does this mean nothing, a bland platitude about relationships to show that he's a romantic or whatever the fuck he thinks this portrays? Damn, as he deteriorates the balance between "I understand your point, but it is a stupid/crazy one" and "I literally don't even know what the fuck you are trying to say right now" is really starting to tip.
Burned CDs
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2021
Someone should print all his memes and burn his YouTube to disc and mail it to mallon. I'll put $5 for it.
Zoomer Bae
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2021
Lol what?
As much as I think the whole “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” narrative is worthy of criticism, I don’t think that the idea of Protestant work ethic caused homelessness.
In fact, I think Lucas could use a little more of it.
Maxxicus Callahan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2021
Just the idea alone of offloading his entire internet history onto a CD-Rom cracks me up. Including all of the documentaries about him. That’d be at least a solid week of endless Wern watching. The horror to anyone with unsuspecting knowledge of the shitabyss that lies ahead, the chasm of cringe opening beneath their feet as they watch the moving train wreck in disbelief.
Freak, there is no we/our for you. You will not be celebrating with any loved ones. You are so malignant, none of your relatives want you around for the holidays.
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- Joined
- Jan 29, 2021
Mister Lahey, not another night of the shitabyss!
EDIT: As to the whole Jesus with a sword verse he's hung up on, if you read the whole chapter this line is from it's pretty clear that Jesus is just recognizing that his ministry will be extremely controversial and cause a religious schism which will pit brother against brother and parent against child. But even apart from taking the one semi-violent thing Jesus ever says out of context, it's like, Lucas, how the fuck are you going to half the time blast Christians for not living up to (what you see as) biblical values, and then half the time blast the bible for being a violent document that should be a role model for no one? Like I'm an atheist too but this is just a retarded way to criticize Christianity, like bro pick a lane
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- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
I keep returning to Lucas's poetry. I have devoted years to the academic study of poetry. I have recited my mortal lines before disinterested crowds. I've clapped politely at slams. Anyway, familiarity has led me to the conclusion that poetry is faggotry, the urge to create poetry is arch faggotry, and anyone comfortable with the title "poet" is a full on faggot. Lucas is a fat poet.
Like Lucas's comically small penis, all poetry is worthless, useless, pointless even as entertainment. There is nothing that it does, that some other art or tech can't do better. It is the lowest form of self-expression, ranking beneath bad conversation and accidental flautlence. Got some deep feelings, mordant wit, or tender reflections, and you just can't keep them to yourself, faggot? Don't house them in a poem; that's like dressing up a fat cripple (that you don't intend to sodomize) in your granny's lingerie. Just go tweet, and hope someone mistakes your tweet for an epigram. If you must get the rhyming and meter out of your system, treat it like the masturbation it is. Do it privately, and clean up your mess.
I am very grateful that Lucas shares his poems with us, thrilled he keeps writing out his feelings at an adolescent level.
Like Lucas's comically small penis, all poetry is worthless, useless, pointless even as entertainment. There is nothing that it does, that some other art or tech can't do better. It is the lowest form of self-expression, ranking beneath bad conversation and accidental flautlence. Got some deep feelings, mordant wit, or tender reflections, and you just can't keep them to yourself, faggot? Don't house them in a poem; that's like dressing up a fat cripple (that you don't intend to sodomize) in your granny's lingerie. Just go tweet, and hope someone mistakes your tweet for an epigram. If you must get the rhyming and meter out of your system, treat it like the masturbation it is. Do it privately, and clean up your mess.
I am very grateful that Lucas shares his poems with us, thrilled he keeps writing out his feelings at an adolescent level.
He's like a cat. Sleeps most of the day, but instead of hunting, he eats the food that is handed to him and then weeps.
This coming from the Pedo Freak of Spokane who openly posts he wants young clit/hot pussy. Eye rapes girls that catch his pervert eyes to where he knows all their curves. Takes pictures/videos of young girls which I'm sure he is using to masturbate by.
Ko
Without Christian charity he would have been a garbage popsicle years ago.
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2021
"Can't take theists anywhere" - Guy who's banned from more places than he's allowed at.
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
Where did this recent hate boner for Christians come from anyway? I mean, I know he's always hated Christians, that's all he's been talking about for the past week. Did something cause this, or is Lucas just crazy? Don't answer that.
WhiskerBiscuit
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2019
I would say both, but he certainly tends to respond to recent events or interactions in this way. One of the catfish teens he spoke to told him that he is too transactional, and he spent a week going on and on about how there’s nothing wrong with being transactional in friendships. And how that’s just how people should be. It was only after the Geek Room episode that you learn that’s how/why he’s going on about it.
Or when he got the email about mitigate/mediate and made 102 shitty board game mediation videos Bc he still couldn’t understand.
Something has happened. It’s likely very very minor. Maybe his mom told him she prays for him. Maybe a Mallon employee encouraged him to try mindful prayer or offered to take him to church. Or maybe a catfish told him atheism is dumb. No matter what, this is narcissistic defensiveness on display.
As a side note related to catfish, I caught a new show on Amazon prime called Underage Undercover (I think) about a nonprofit group in Connecticut that catfishes men going after teens online. Their argument is that “time that these dudes are talking to us is time that they can’t be approaching real teens” but I have always felt like the issue is that unless the guy gets locked up, it could make the guy more unsafe in the long term, as it (1) validates the delusion that hot 14 yo online really want to sex 55 yr old grandads and (2) seems like it could easily frustrate someone enough that the dude might lash out as easier targets, like his own kids/neighbors/etc when the hot 14 yo ghosts him. Certainly, those are my two primary reasons why I support not catfishing Lucas. He’s already delusional and unstable as it is. But now I’m wondering if he were to lose his feet, he’d be way less of a real life threat and just a threat to poor girls he sends his micro penis pic to. In that reality, I’m not too terribly against people just catfishing Lucas so frequently that 99% of his interactions are just catfish. I’m guessing that’s not too far from where he is now though…
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2015
I don't know what's worse. Lucas's attempt at "poetry" or Israel Keyes suicide note.
www.oxygen.com
Read Serial Killer Israel Keyes’ Chilling Suicide Note: 'Soon Now You'll Join Those Ranks Of Dead' | Oxygen Official Site
When authorities discovered serial killer Israel Keyes had committed suicide in his jail cell while awaiting trial for the murder of 18-year-old Samantha Koenig, they hoped his suicide note would reveal further information about his other unidentified victims. Instead, what they found on the...
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2018
The similarities are eerie for sure.I don't know what's worse. Lucas's attempt at "poetry" or Israel Keyes suicide note.
Read Serial Killer Israel Keyes’ Chilling Suicide Note: 'Soon Now You'll Join Those Ranks Of Dead' | Oxygen Official Site
When authorities discovered serial killer Israel Keyes had committed suicide in his jail cell while awaiting trial for the murder of 18-year-old Samantha Koenig, they hoped his suicide note would reveal further information about his other unidentified victims. Instead, what they found on the...
Both Wern and Keyes have that "Life is shitty right? Worship me, for I am 16 and this is deep." mentality.
As though most people don't already know this, and are just resilient enough to still give a damn regardless.
It makes me hope that Pucus loses his feet ASAP so he's less of a threat to the women he begs for.
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2015
Thinking about it, thankfully Lucas is no where near the level of intelligence and dedication as Keyes. Usually serial killers aren't the brightest people around, and while I can't find even a estimated IQ for Keyes, but he was smarter than others. The guy was dedicated and methodical, his kill kits are still popping up, the fbi has said that they can't even give an estimated body count. He had said he would give his complete account, but he only did one or two explantation. If he hadn't experienced the manic phase every serial killer goes through, and stopped his usual mo, he'd still be out there killing. I think if Lucas was capable of stringing together a understandable sentence, he could be the next Keyes. What's funny, a shit load of aerial killers, are from Washington or are connected to it somehow. Keyes first duty station was Lewis. It's a bit sad that the hood curse didn't kill him. Like I personally knew a guy that was stationed in 2/75, and Tacoma police are still chasing leads that he was a serial killer. For some reason, 2/75 is always fucking up. Always. Back to the 80s. *Off topic*
- Joined
- May 15, 2020
I had to be reminded of this, and now so do you. Enjoy one of the most baffling video choices he's ever made. Everything about this is bizarre.