DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[SkippyLongbottom]

So Phil rushed to beat Forza 5 because it had overstayed its welcome.
Then Phil rushed to finish Halo Infinite because the campaign had become unfun and unfair.
Now Phil wants to rush to beat Vice City because GTA is taking too long.
This is even more evidence that Phil hates video games. Who else bum rushes the ends of multiple games in the same weekend? I’m not a 100% complete guy but I’d try to get the most satisfaction out of the game.
These games are all just chores for Phil. He really needs to stop playing games and just do political podcasts.

Funny he tries to m.ilk them by stalling as long as possible and he can't even pace himself at a good rate to get the most out of the playthroughs. He sees dips in money because he is realizing he can't have a $50 whale each game each day by boring the fuck out of people with side quests. Yet games like Judgement he will defend and love because his dumb bitch of a wife is a weeb so he needs to score good boy points. Which is why he acts like such a virgin with videogame sexualization because she's an insecure, jealous and broken demon spawn that will cut his dick off if he even thinks of looking at them.

I really hope one of these days most of his hardware bricks from low maintenance. Piggy would probably be so desperate he tries to stream games from his Phone all while shamelessly ebegging for new hardware.

I don't want to hear the desperation so much as the frequent lashing out at people who aren't entirely under pignosis asking why his business didn't plan for such events. I'm sure Piggy has a list of excuses like its not actually a business and how are you supposed to plan for that (despite ranting about companies not preparing for a global supply chain crisis weeks ago).

I've been so fuckin bored of Phil lately and want to get back into speculating because I'm god damn surprised as well that 8 year old PC hasn't shit itself by now.

Like, how would the news even be brought up if at all? Tweet it? He can't record a video and upload it. So I mean, would he just buy a prebuilt shitter pc behind da scenes and not mention anything? Use Kats?
So Phil rushed to beat Forza 5 because it had overstayed its welcome.

 

[cock flavoured seasoning]

It’s a known fact that one of the most obvious symptoms of alcohol abuse in men is erectile dysfunction.

also gets zero physical exercise and is overweight, eats like shit. hairline, hair quality and density on the way out. I know most men will bald but theres a difference between loosing your hair while being otherwise a healthy male and loosing it even faster due to messed up testosterone/DHT levels bought on by dog shit lifestyle

 

[Crooked 16th]

also gets zero physical exercise and is overweight, eats like shit. hairline, hair quality and density on the way out. I know most men will bald but theres a difference between loosing your hair while being otherwise a healthy male and loosing it even faster due to messed up testosterone/DHT levels bought on by dog shit lifestyle

I'd also add the mental issues that associates the incident with sex and being shamed for what happen, Then lying and trying to suppressing it instead of addressing it and moving on.

 

[Iron Father]

he said something like "Me and muh waif enjoy sex in our own way."

Spoiler: No! No! Papavera!

 

[Wasabi Panda]

catching up on the reeeeeeeee-stream pod-a-cast on Shinko's stream..

did this exceptional individual who talks about sex like he as a girlfriend in Canada who's a lawyer that he totally hired but that got memory-holed really play Skyrim on a PC and pointed a camera at his PC monitor to capture footage?

cause that's just, I know he's a window licking knuckle dragon pudding brained neanderthal but..I mean C'MON really?

Also Phil Tannon...it's Do or do not there is no try and I used to be an adventurer like you until I took a (insert thing here) to the knee you dumb ass.

 

[We Are The Witches]

I know what could spice things up.

 

[GunnlaugurSassoon]

This video just got suggested by YouTube. Can you believe this guy? Aris going straight to fightcade to play ST and not spending years fighting 4 people on various console ports of the game and not once whining about lag or macros AND he has gout too? What is he some sort of try hard or something???

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

This video just got suggested by YouTube. Can you believe this guy? Aris going straight to fightcade to play ST and not spending years fighting 4 people on various console ports of the game and not once whining about lag or macros AND he has gout too? What is he some sort of try hard or something???

If DSP was a Pokemon, Aris would be his final evolution. The similarities are shocking:

• long-time FGC members who only sometimes play FGs now
• has a lot of stories from back in the day
• hates online play with a burning passion
• diverse content for streaming
• low effort streaming setup
• unique donation mechanic[hey get parried]
• takes 0 shit from their chat
• gives questionable advice out in truckloads
• no-fucks-given attitude, fake or otherwise
• takes constant breaks during stream to prevent injuries from occurring or flaring up again
• gambling addiction
• similar dress code
• lazy
• bad at video games
• known for a drink of choice, either steak sauce or gin
• gout

Aris' one defining feature is that he gives a shit about the right things. And he's actually kind of funny.

 

[detractorzer0]

If DSP was a Pokemon, Aris would be his final evolution. The similarities are shocking:

• long-time FGC members who only sometimes play FGs now
• has a lot of stories from back in the day
• hates online play with a burning passion
• diverse content for streaming
• low effort streaming setup
• unique donation mechanic[hey get parried]
• takes 0 shit from their chat
• gives questionable advice out in truckloads
• no-fucks-given attitude, fake or otherwise
• takes constant breaks during stream to prevent injuries from occurring or flaring up again
• gambling addiction
• similar dress code
• lazy
• bad at video games
• known for a drink of choice, either steak sauce or gin
• gout

Aris' one defining feature is that he gives a shit about the right things. And he's actually kind of funny.

Yep. The difference is that Aris owns all of that shit and he has a decent personality. Phil refuses to acknowledge any of his flaws. Also, everyone likes Aris. He's like your stoner uncle who doesn't do much but always gets invited to do exciting stuff. I remember he restreamed EVO Japan because he missed his flight or something and it was still great.

 

[King Nutsack]

Aris' one defining feature is that he gives a shit about the right things. And he's actually kind of funny.

And despite the fact that people are throwing money at him no matter what he streams, he's not specifically taking time out to beg or shame people for low tips. Imagine.

 

[Ikonick]

And despite the fact that people are throwing money at him no matter what he streams, he's not specifically taking time out to beg or shame people for low tips. Imagine.

You guys seem to forget. Phil is a very, very successful content creator for the past 13 years with a business degree. He doesn't beg. He advertises.

 

[King of Hateful Slurs]

This video just got suggested by YouTube. Can you believe this guy? Aris going straight to fightcade to play ST and not spending years fighting 4 people on various console ports of the game and not once whining about lag or macros AND he has gout too? What is he some sort of try hard or something???

The only enjoyable Twitch streamer imo

 

[tzgnilki]

If DSP was a Pokemon, Aris would be his final evolution. The similarities are shocking:

• long-time FGC members who only sometimes play FGs now
• has a lot of stories from back in the day
• hates online play with a burning passion
• diverse content for streaming
• low effort streaming setup
• unique donation mechanic[hey get parried]
• takes 0 shit from their chat
• gives questionable advice out in truckloads
• no-fucks-given attitude, fake or otherwise
• takes constant breaks during stream to prevent injuries from occurring or flaring up again
• gambling addiction
• similar dress code
• lazy
• bad at video games
• known for a drink of choice, either steak sauce or gin
• gout

Aris' one defining feature is that he gives a shit about the right things. And he's actually kind of funny.

Aris also isn't only known for his transgressions, and he doesn't have to remind his viewers that he is a victim everyday

 

[FormerPro]

Aris also isn't only known for his transgressions, and he doesn't have to remind his viewers that he is a victim everyday

Interesting to note that author of this is Patrick Klepek, someone who is at the centre of one of my favourite DSP pieces of lore. Patrick once reached out to Phil for an interview about the origin of Let's Plays. Phil said that Patrick was taken aback by all the trolls who attacked him for merely tweeting at Phil and said the haters must be mentally ill children.

Of course none of that actually happened. This is one of the only times Phil's bullshit nonsense stories has been outright debunked with irrefutable proof and offers such a good window into what a manipulative liar he is.

 

[detractorzer0]

Interesting to note that author of this is Patrick Klepek, someone who is at the centre of one of my favourite DSP pieces of lore. Patrick once reached out to Phil for an interview about the origin of Let's Plays. Phil said that Patrick was taken aback by all the trolls who attacked him for merely tweeting at Phil and said the haters must be mentally ill children.

Of course none of that actually happened. This is one of the only times Phil's bullshit nonsense stories has been outright debunked with irrefutable proof and offers such a good window into what a manipulative liar he is.

Good lord

I didn't know about this, but of course Phil completely twists what the person said to echo what he says.

 

[Kheapathic]

If DSP was a Pokemon, Aris would be his final evolution. The similarities are shocking:

• long-time FGC members who only sometimes play FGs now
• has a lot of stories from back in the day
• hates online play with a burning passion
• diverse content for streaming
• low effort streaming setup
• unique donation mechanic[hey get parried]
• takes 0 shit from their chat
• gives questionable advice out in truckloads
• no-fucks-given attitude, fake or otherwise
• takes constant breaks during stream to prevent injuries from occurring or flaring up again
• gambling addiction
• similar dress code
• lazy
• bad at video games
• known for a drink of choice, either steak sauce or gin
• gout

Aris' one defining feature is that he gives a shit about the right things. And he's actually kind of funny.

The only thing Aris definitely has over Phil, is he kept his skill up (mostly). There's an old YouTube video from pre-YT days IIRC, and it's Aris (without the beard) giving a 2 hour master thesis on SC2. And it's been several years now, but I remember when SCR had like 20+ games in its lineup, SC2 was one of them. Grand Finals was Aris and some guy who flew in from Japan, just for that game explicitly. Aris may be [a myriad of negative adjectives], but his mind and reactions haven't completely melted (yet) and can still hang with the big guys.

But what I mainly love him for, commentary. Get someone like him and Tasty Steve on the mic and they're an excellent team. All Phil has is "Oh look at that! He did X!"

Edit: As an aside, I can't get over this KoF stage music, sounds like something that belongs in Donkey Kong Country.

 

[JMR]

Aris has a draw (or at worst a "no contest") against noted DSP antagonist Jaha.

 

[YokuNama]

I present the F-tier troll of the past few months.

 

[JimiHendrix]

But what I mainly love him for, commentary. Get someone like him and Tasty Steve on the mic and they're an excellent team. All Phil has is "Oh look at that! He did X!"

phil did once do co-commentary over a fighting game tournament. his co-host told him to shut up.

 

[Iron Father]

phil did once do co-commentary over a fighting game tournament. his co-host told him to shut up.

One of the funniest moments in the DSP anime. Told to shut up, just like his drunk neighbor.