Feb 28, 2022 - Chris transferred to another facility

[TayandYou]

I don't think Chris would last a month at a job tbh.

Actually, Chris does have one marketable skill now. He can whore himself out to lonely old widows. Most people aren't trained or experienced in fucking old folks, but Chris read up on the literature and had first hand experience too.

For the first time, Chris can tell the rich old ladies that he's "experienced for her pleasure" and not be bullshitting. I'm sure there are hags on death's doorstep that want one last fuck, they will be desperate enough that they will settle for Chris.

 

[FinnSven]

Actually, Chris does have one marketable skill now. He can whore himself out to lonely old widows. Most people aren't trained or experienced in fucking old folks, but Chris read up on the literature and had first hand experience too.

For the first time, Chris can tell the rich old ladies that he's "experienced for her pleasure" and not be bullshitting. I'm sure there are hags on death's doorstep that want one last fuck, they will be desperate enough that they will settle for Chris.

If they have to pay for it, I am sure they expect better than Chris.

Chris will end up like a lower version of Randy from the Trailer Park Boys.
Instead of hustling his arse for cheeseburgers behind Tim Horton, Chris will be selling his foul unwiped behind for Lego sets and candy.

There will not even be an alcoholic trailer park supervisor to rescue him.

 

[TayandYou]

If they have to pay for it, I am sure they expect better than Chris.

They might be willing to pay, but would anybody else be willing to do it? Would they have the necessary experience with dry crusty Barbussy?

I think Carlos Chantor is the best gigolo in the business for this specific niche.

 

[FinnSven]

They might be willing to pay, but would anybody else be willing to do it? Would they have the necessary experience with dry crusty Barbussy?

I think Carlos Chantor is the best gigolo in the business for this specific niche.

I am sure there are a few gay for pay rent boys who would welcome a break from pillow biting and being donkey punched by angry self hating closeted tricks.

Some old Minge would be preferable to a middle aged man who resents his life.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

I know you're joking and everything but I honestly think a factory position would be good for him. Think about it the extremely repetitive work environment all he has to do is fit screws into a part on a conveyor. A lot of job placement programs for autistic people find positions like this because autistic people handle extremely repetitive work well. Plus honestly a factory does not give a crap what you were previously convicted of or what your history was. You could be convicted cannibal who's online history shows extreme degeneracy and a factory would basically just say are you breathing if so you're hired.

The problem is that he would not be good for the factory. Or almost anything else. He is a liability and will end up taking up more resources (time, effort of other workers) than he produces. Chris doesn't fit within a free market economy and it makes more sense for society to pay him a tugboat to keep him from taking up more resources (assuming he isn't left to starve in the wilderness).

I'd say that he might be useful if he were effectively made a slave and sent down into the mines but I think his fellow slaves would just end up arranging an 'accident' for him once they get tired of picking up the slack.

 

[Ita Mori]

One of the bigger mysteries is what Chris thought "work" entailed exactly. He begged for an office job and "assistant", which makes me believe he thinks assistants do the work and the guy they work for just....? Plays on the computer all day? Screams "Buy" or "Sell" into a phone?

The only reason he wanted a desk job is because that's what he was told to get and what his old man and mom did.
He never considered the stress and responsibilities that office jobs demand. He probably likens it to going to school; "You just go. It's what adults do."

 

[Kramer on the phone]

Even in his fantasy world, “work” meant getting someone else to deal with it. In the comics, his mayoral duties mostly fell to his secretary while he went to go sexually harass women in Target.

Then the Merge got outsourced to an aternate reality Chris while Chris Prime sat around on his ass.

the way you make it sound Chris was making a more geeky version of Tom Goes To The Mayor.

 

[Ophelia]

The only reason he wanted a desk job is because that's what he was told to get and what his old man and mom did.
He never considered the stress and responsibilities that office jobs demand. He probably likens it to going to school; "You just go. It's what adults do."

I’m sure the part where he has somewhere to sit was appealing. Not like that mean nasty fast food job.

 

[Ghost Got Double Dipped]

I know I'm kinda late on this but you ever wonder if Chris having his birthday without people shoving gifts in his face might have pushed him to the point where the jail had to send him off? He was probably bouncing off the walls screaming for birthday presents from the guards or something. Until this happened every birthday hes spent in his whole life has been about him getting toys and games and stuff.

 

[Altera]

What, and I cant stress this enough, in the actual fuck are you talking about khanmander. After reading that several times the only thing im sure it means is that ill be seeing a thread about you in the lolcows section real fucking soon.

I have taken the liberty of screenshotting that post for prosperity since you keep fucking editing it and i feel like people deserve to see it when you eventually remove it.

Edit: There it is, ill post the screenshot so you can all read that tardpost.

 

[AnOminous]

They might be willing to pay, but would anybody else be willing to do it? Would they have the necessary experience with dry crusty Barbussy?

I think Carlos Chantor is the best gigolo in the business for this specific niche.

He should go to San Francisco and get pimped out by Sockness as an autistic tranny gigolo.

 

[khanmander]

What, and I cant stress this enough, in the actual fuck are you talking about khanmander. After reading that several times the only thing im sure it means is that ill be seeing a thread about you in the lolcows section real fucking soon.

I have taken the liberty of screenshotting that post for prosperity since you keep fucking editing it and i feel like people deserve to see it when you eventually remove it.

I'll delete it. I think I've said enough. It's hard for me to sit and watch the situation Chris is in, being transferred. All, I'm going to say, Chris still has his CADD education and it should be easy for him, now, because CAD software is free unlike the time he graduated and I think it would be interesting to see what he does with it, if he ever decides too.

 

[I swear she's 18]

What, and I cant stress this enough, in the actual fuck are you talking about khanmander. After reading that several times the only thing im sure it means is that ill be seeing a thread about you in the lolcows section real fucking soon.

I have taken the liberty of screenshotting that post for prosperity since you keep fucking editing it and i feel like people deserve to see it when you eventually remove it.

Edit: There it is, ill post the screenshot so you can all read that tardpost.View attachment 3081985

Not to backseat or anything but putting it in a spoiler or thumbnail would be greatly appreciated. #mobile_gang

 

[Altera]

Not to backseat or anything but putting it in a spoiler or thumbnail would be greatly appreciated. #mobile_gang

Youre right, ill do that now.

 

[khanmander]

no he wouldn't have, chris' life was already destroyed before he walked onto that college campus. He was never going to succeed in the real world as a functioning adult on any capacity. His parents assured he would be nothing but a sponge.

It didn't matter what classes he took. Just like getting his degree in CADD lead to him doing absolutely nothing with it, and he even had someone from his church offer him a job in the field. He never applied.

I think that may have surprised him at first. I don't think there many jobs in his field in his area but yeah, maybe he still could have tried.

 

[King Metalia]

I guess we'll find out when he gets out of the loony bin if it had any effect on him.

Like the previous times he's had to speak to mental health professionals he will resist them. He's always been one stubborn son of a bitch.

 

[LemonParty]

Everyone here seems to be missing the fact that Chris had a desk, creative, and marketing job.

He had a business sitting in his room creating sonichu figures and marketing his merchandise. There was demand for this trash, so much so that he had back orders for days and he struggled to/couldn't fill them. People ended up demanding their money back. A big problem was he was pricing them to low and made almost nothing after shipping. Marketing is not his strong suit.

He was selling his crap on eBay too. Alot of expensive items that were bought he never shipped, so his account was flagged.

Null even tried to make him an independent artist and he ended up raping his mom. Chris is a tard who couldn't manage the simplest of jobs unless a slave master forced him to. Did I mention he raped his mom?

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

Actually, Chris does have one marketable skill now. He can whore himself out to lonely old widows.

He could be the 21st Century's very own Max Bialystock! Springtime For Hitlerchu anybody?

 

[RainwaterDrop]

I don't think Chris would last a month at a job tbh.

Chris wouldn't last a lunch break in an office as he would piss off all the other guys trying to do actual work with his incessant ramblings about the merge and his lack of hygiene, no construction site or factory job would hire him unless it's one of those special programs for hiring the mentally handicapped (otherwise he would get himself killed within minutes), and low skill jobs are full of people that aren't paid enough to deal with some 40 year old manbaby spouting sonichu nonsense. I don't really judge Chris for not working because, let's face, as we agree there is no way the vast majority of workplaces would be able to successfully integrate him into the workforce, there are plenty of valid points of criticism about Chris, but this isn't really one of them!

Everyone here seems to be missing the fact that Chris had a desk, creative, and marketing job.

He had a business sitting in his room creating sonichu figures and marketing his merchandise. There was demand for this trash, so much so that he had back orders for days and he struggled to/couldn't fill them. People ended up demanding their money back. A big problem was he was pricing them to low and made almost nothing after shipping. Marketing is not his strong suit.

Indeed, but this is precisely the point, unless they had an assigned warden for him at the work opportunities, he wouldn't last. His work was basically doing what he loved and he still lazed about for years without drawing a single page of his own comic, starring himself!

Like the previous times he's had to speak to mental health professionals he will resist them. He's always been one stubborn son of a bitch.

Many theorize that this is entirely intentional as his childlike behaviours are a coping mechanism for his own failures, without his fantasy world he's just a permanently lonely man in his 40's with no achievements in life. Chris hates when he's perceived as an older person, it's a stark reminder of what path his life took, if Chris at 10 could be considered much more successful than Chris at 40 (as he had a shot at having a future), well, no shit he doesn't like this!

 

[Georges St. Pierre]

I think it's safe to say that, while the saga isn't over and never will be over, the way in which Chris's story is told will be completely different going forward. It's safe to say at this point Chris has committed crimes that will prevent the way he lived before from ever happening again. This facility likely has him on a cocktail of meds that Chris will get addicted to given his nature. The judicial system at this point has pretty much decided that Chris should not be allowed back in public, and at this point is probably allowing these continuances cause they simply don't know what the fuck to do with him. We've followed this dude for 15 years. Crazy to think that every single one of us, are infinitely less famous, yet infinitely in a better situation than him.