Feb 28, 2022 - Chris transferred to another facility

[Altera]

Chris wouldn't last a lunch break in an office as he would piss off all the other guys trying to do actual work with his incessant ramblings about the merge and his lack of hygiene, no construction site or factory job would hire him unless it's one of those special programs for hiring the mentally handicapped (otherwise he would get himself killed within minutes), and low skill jobs are full of people that aren't paid enough to deal with some 40 year old manbaby spouting sonichu nonsense. I don't really judge Chris for not working because, let's face, as we agree there is no way the vast majority of workplaces would be able to successfully integrate him into the workforce, there are plenty of valid points of criticism about Chris, but this isn't really one of them!

Chris just wouldn't show up for his first day, and when asked about it he'd say he had needed time to gather his courage. Then never show up, and blame the job for discriminating against autistic people.

 

[Muncie Anderson]

In Chris's fantasy world he'd spend an hour or two drawing Sonichu then have a bunch of other people do all the work of marketing, printing, and distributing it while he sat on his ass doing nothing thinking as long as something got done that counted as work.

Technically, Jim Davis has worked the same way with Garfield for over forty years. If you've seen his rough drawings, it's obvious Davis is a terrible cartoonist, but he is a decent businessman, and he has a full time staff to turn his chicken scratch drawings into something that's going to make millions in merchandising.

That might be why Chris originally majored in marketing: he thought he had come up with a good, marketable character in Sonichu, and that the money would start rolling in after he somehow persuaded (or conned) somebody into coming up with Sonichu toys, shirts, video games, you name it. It never occurred to him that almost no one was going to think any creation that's a hybrid of two different and already copyrighted characters was the next Garfield.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Slap a wig on a Speak-Your-Weight machine and he'd try to boff it.

As long as it's not painted black.

 

[Hassa_Bussa]

I think it's safe to say that, while the saga isn't over and never will be over, the way in which Chris's story is told will be completely different going forward. It's safe to say at this point Chris has committed crimes that will prevent the way he lived before from ever happening again. This facility likely has him on a cocktail of meds that Chris will get addicted to given his nature. The judicial system at this point has pretty much decided that Chris should not be allowed back in public, and at this point is probably allowing these continuances cause they simply don't know what the fuck to do with him. We've followed this dude for 15 years. Crazy to think that every single one of us, are infinitely less famous, yet infinitely in a better situation than him.

lol he's going to get out and the moment he gets access to the internet the chronicling will continue

 

[W00K #17]

I think it's safe to say that, while the saga isn't over and never will be over, the way in which Chris's story is told will be completely different going forward. It's safe to say at this point Chris has committed crimes that will prevent the way he lived before from ever happening again. This facility likely has him on a cocktail of meds that Chris will get addicted to given his nature. The judicial system at this point has pretty much decided that Chris should not be allowed back in public, and at this point is probably allowing these continuances cause they simply don't know what the fuck to do with him. We've followed this dude for 15 years. Crazy to think that every single one of us, are infinitely less famous, yet infinitely in a better situation than him.

I miss 2007. Highschool wook found this infinitely more funny than I do now. It's still funny but not nearly as funny as it used to be, and now I'm old.

 

[Duke Nukem]

I miss 2007. Highschool wook found this infinitely more funny than I do now. It's still funny but not nearly as funny as it used to be, and now I'm old.

I miss the days that Chris was just a goofy autist and not the horrorcow he is today. Hard to believe his life is pretty much over at 40.

Or maybe it never began...

 

[Turbocuck]

This facility likely has him on a cocktail of meds that Chris will get addicted to given his nature.

Absolutely wrong, you don't get fun drugs for being crazy. In fact it's really difficult to get crazies to stay on their meds. Antipsychotics especially are a giant bummer. If Chris is on those right now he likely badly wants off of them because they shut off the tap on his wacky thoughts.

The only addictive psychiatric drugs I can think of right now are benzos, which are given for anxiety and sleeplessness, z-drugs (Ambien), and stimulants, which are prescribed for ADHD. It's unlikely that Chris is getting any of those.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Absolutely wrong, you don't get fun drugs for being crazy. In fact it's really difficult to get crazies to stay on their meds. Antipsychotics especially are a giant bummer. If Chris is on those right now he likely badly wants off of them because they shut off the tap on his wacky thoughts.

The only addictive psychiatric drugs I can think of right now are benzos, which are given for anxiety and sleeplessness, z-drugs (Ambien), and stimulants, which are prescribed for ADHD. It's unlikely that Chris is getting any of those.

Just want to say what Null said to Chris before he was arrested;

“If they put you in a hospital they will force you to take medication that will make you a zombie. You are not a god and you are not spiritually guided.”

 

[Ophelia]

Just want to say what Null said to Chris before he was arrested;

“If they put you in a hospital they will force you to take medication that will make you a zombie. You are not a god and you are not spiritually guided.”

I bet Chris frowned mightily at that one Prickly-wicklies indeed.

 

[Male Idiot]

One of the bigger mysteries is what Chris thought "work" entailed exactly. He begged for an office job and "assistant", which makes me believe he thinks assistants do the work and the guy they work for just....? Plays on the computer all day? Screams "Buy" or "Sell" into a phone?

He propably got it from tv. He basically imagined himself making snap decisions that somehow always work, and the secretary/assistant doing all the paperwork.

Actually, Chris does have one marketable skill now. He can whore himself out to lonely old widows. Most people aren't trained or experienced in fucking old folks, but Chris read up on the literature and had first hand experience too.

For the first time, Chris can tell the rich old ladies that he's "experienced for her pleasure" and not be bullshitting. I'm sure there are hags on death's doorstep that want one last fuck, they will be desperate enough that they will settle for Chris.

Chris and Madonna arc when! That old nasty and crusty aidshole would love the bent duck lol.

 

[thegooddoctor]

I'm glad someone else has noticed this. His face is capable of making some really weird expressions, and I'm not sure how he does it. Take this one

Spoiler: How?

View attachment 3077081

Lmao that picture, I’ll never understand Chris’s desire to dye his hair the ugliest color possible. He looked better back when he had his shorter hair honestly. Also That’s another thing, does anyone know the exact point where Chris decided to grow his hair long?

 

[I swear she's 18]

Lmao that picture, I’ll never understand Chris’s desire to dye his hair the ugliest color possible. He looked better back when he had his shorter hair honestly. Also That’s another thing, does anyone know the exact point where Chris decided to grow his hair long?

I want to say 2013 when the tomgirl arc started. I believe the reason his hair is such an ugly color is chris half assing and not bleaching his hair. Which takes multiple takes with semi expensive products (like 13 or so dollars. Doesn't seem that much but chris is living off of 1.5k a month. Probably need at least 2 or 3 bottles depending on how dark your hair is) throughout a week at least. Plus chris' hair is in bad health already. Wouldn't surprise me if he cheaped out on the dye as well. Couple that with a really shitty color and you have the chris we love and know.

 

[Hassa_Bussa]

Lmao that picture, I’ll never understand Chris’s desire to dye his hair the ugliest color possible. He looked better back when he had his shorter hair honestly. Also That’s another thing, does anyone know the exact point where Chris decided to grow his hair long?

Reminds me of that time when someone wrote a blog on him in the early days and said he seemed like an okay looking guy. But time and time again he has made fashion choices that go against everything that would look good on him.

 

[I B DR CHANdra]

Everything seemed more fun with Classic Chris

 

[Georges St. Pierre]

Just want to say what Null said to Chris before he was arrested;

“If they put you in a hospital they will force you to take medication that will make you a zombie. You are not a god and you are not spiritually guided.”

Yeah thats why I would assume he is on meds now after being transfered. Especially if letters and other forms of communication have been cut off for him.

 

[Strange Wilderness]

The only reason he wanted a desk job is because that's what he was told to get and what his old man and mom did.
He never considered the stress and responsibilities that office jobs demand. He probably likens it to going to school; "You just go. It's what adults do."

Like his time in school he thought an office job would mean he could sleep all day, have girls fawning over him, and get rewarded for half-assed mediocre effort.

Technically, Jim Davis has worked the same way with Garfield for over forty years. If you've seen his rough drawings, it's obvious Davis is a terrible cartoonist, but he is a decent businessman, and he has a full time staff to turn his chicken scratch drawings into something that's going to make millions in merchandising.

That might be why Chris originally majored in marketing: he thought he had come up with a good, marketable character in Sonichu, and that the money would start rolling in after he somehow persuaded (or conned) somebody into coming up with Sonichu toys, shirts, video games, you name it. It never occurred to him that almost no one was going to think any creation that's a hybrid of two different and already copyrighted characters was the next Garfield.

I'm assuming Davis does actual work like meeting with printers or network executives in order to make his creation more profitable and doesn't just sit on his ass most of the day shitting himself. He also was smart enough and worked hard to make Garfield a profitable comic while Chris blew every chance he had to make Sonichu profitable because he's lazy and wanted to brag about fucking his mom.

Lmao that picture, I’ll never understand Chris’s desire to dye his hair the ugliest color possible. He looked better back when he had his shorter hair honestly. Also That’s another thing, does anyone know the exact point where Chris decided to grow his hair long?

Chris thinks his dyed hair makes him look like a kawaii animu girl. He's under the delusion that he stopped aging at 21 and is still young and relatively fit and not a middle aged, fat, balding creep.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

He never was "into CAD" in the slightest, Bob did all his homework for him while Chris himself either skipped class or sat in the back drawing custom pokemon cards.

Chris is a tard who couldn't manage the simplest of jobs

I think Chris is literally too stupid to go to college himself. Even a liberal arts degree has a math requirement.

Chris thinks his dyed hair makes him look like a kawaii animu girl.

Chris' TV-fried brain has a severe autistic lack of facial recognition. It also seems he's so egotistical that he only sees what he wants to see. It's how trolls got away with fooling Chris that pictures of several different girls were all of "Blanca Weiss", and why Chris had to take time to study his appearance in a mirror. So of course he thinks he looks like a classy British Sailor Neptune with heterochromia instead of a fat middle aged man, or that his rotten seaweed green hair was really "Battery Charged Blue" (his favorite color). Seems "Honor Roll" also didn't think adding blue to brown makes rotten green, not the same blue as the dye.

 

[Sho'nuff]

Null even tried to make him an independent artist and he ended up raping his mom. Chris is a tard who couldn't manage the simplest of jobs unless a slave master forced him to. Did I mention he raped his mom?

I love making comparative leaps like this, I live for it anytime something goes wrong.

"So you stopped at Starbucks this morning and didn't bring in anything for the shop, now the whole server room is down! Do you see where I'm going with this Bob!?"

 

[Optimus Prime]

Absolutely wrong, you don't get fun drugs for being crazy. In fact it's really difficult to get crazies to stay on their meds. Antipsychotics especially are a giant bummer. If Chris is on those right now he likely badly wants off of them because they shut off the tap on his wacky thoughts.

Shit, if he is getting put on powerful psych drugs, then that really is hell on Earth for Chris since lala-CWCland essentially is the only happy place he's known all his life besides 14BC and the latter almost certainly will never have to suffer sheltering Chris again.

Moreover, if he can't imagine the Sonichus, quite possibly his only friends imaginary as they are, he has to face reality alone - something he's actively done everything in his power to avoid ever actually doing. He must be miserable since even the "jail of fail" didn't turn the tap off of his deranged imagination.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

For the first time, Chris can tell the rich old ladies that he's "experienced for her pleasure" and not be bullshitting. I'm sure there are hags on death's doorstep that want one last fuck, they will be desperate enough that they will settle for Chris.

Rich old ladies go to beachside resorts and pay poor locals for sex.

Chris is only attractive to old ladies living on social security in a trailer park. The only payment they could offer him is a roof over his head. This is still a viable path.