The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
Some more pictures of their decorating grift

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You can see every single seam between the dry wall as a raised ridge they just painted over.

In picture 1 you can see the counter top (chipboard) is not flat around the front of the sink, it appears to warp slightly. The drywall in the top corner looks like someone took bites out rather than cutting it. Somehow the corner unit's door is too small which is impressive to fuck up given they're likely flat-packed. The cabinets are from Lowes (project source).

The sockets in picture 2 have huge gaps between them and the edges of the dry wall they no doubt are just going to try and fill (look at the sockets in picture 1, it looks like they've had to do the same there). I really hope the owner isn't wanting and troon electronics (unless hiring them is step 1 of an insurance job of course).

The skirting board on picture 3 is raised off the floor (like I get leaving space for flooring but put the flooring down first maybe) and doesn't seem to meet the door frame correctly. It all looks like the cheapest knottiest avaliable pine. The door has huge gaps around it, like you can see daylight through the gaps. You can see where they have cut/planed the top of the door but it ain't level by a long shot.

Christ that just gets worse the more you look. The state of the joinery. It’s not even joinery, it’s just crudely cross cut skirting butted up against the next piece.
Absolute cow shed grade work. How little pride do you have to do a paid job like that.
I dread to think what the wiring looks like.

I hope some random pipes up on Twitter and causes a meltdown.
 
Hope a Kiwi can answer this: what do they do? Does anyone know any interesting cases they've worked on?
Heard of a guy named Ponzi? How about, more recently, a guy who went by the name Dread Pirate Roberts? He was never prosecuted for the mail fraud itself, but postal inspectors were involved in the initial takedown because, already suspicious of Ulbricht, they noticed he had purchased a fake ID from some other company they were looking at, and had it mailed to his home.
You can rest assured the Tranch's alpaca meat will be lean. Very lean.
And extremely bitter from the desperate animals eating weeds and roots from below the ground. That's why the place looks like a lunar landscape.
You can see every single seam between the dry wall as a raised ridge they just painted over.
Have these retards heard of mesh tape? You'd think any man, and they're all men, would have seen that shit before. And no woman, and none of them are, would put up with something that ugly.
What's the rules in CO regarding this sort of work. Like I get DIY is a thing but they are essentially being hired as contractors, is there licensing required? Do they have the appropriate liability insurance?
Almost certainly not. And when they catch the inevitable lawsuit for substandard work or work not done at all by these lazy-ass fuckers, they'll be screaming about twanzfobia. Because a real transphobe would definitely hire this tent full of circus freaks.
 
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Desirees are USDA zone 4-9 so possible there then.

Surely they could pick up a load of mulch on their grift run or work out something with composted leftovers, hay and alpaca poop.

As you say though it would be actual work so they won't do it.
Remember the tranch is desertified compared to its immediate surroundings. There are drought resistant potatoes but there's no potato that'll give you a full crop in low nutrient soil. Fallowing for a season or two with cover crops is probably the way to go before introducing a productive crop like potato. Cowpea isn't glamorous but it's edible and a real silver bullet for soil restoration.
 
alpaca wool is apparently fire-retardant.
Ftfy with emphasis on the retard part.
I have this mental image of Kevin throwing his hands up in horror as the shelf collapses onto him... and the plastic-coated result looking like a multi-colored Han Solo in carbonite.
I was thinking more two face covered in melted plastic on the bad half of the face.
They say alpaca meat is very good for your health. Very lean, high protein, low cholesterol, mild taste.

So my guess is the tranchers wouldnt eat it in a million years.
They've eaten their lambs before which like alpaca is leaner and healthier than most red meats. Aside being poorly cooked the lamb shoulder; potatoes and greens they made for dinner that one time, were definitely better than their usual processed cheese and canned refried bean burrito nights.
You could drive to your nearest Home Depot/Lowes, hire a few Mexicans and they'd do a far better job hanging and mudding drywall than any of these failures of men could do. And I promise that those Mestizos you hired would be a fuck ton better smelling and more fun to be around than Penny and his eunuchs.
Hey at least the mestizos would be fun to crack a few cervezas and jokes with after the jobs done, the tranchers would just wanna sip wine and talk about people who don't give into their grifts and kiss their dumpy fat man asses.
 
Somehow the corner unit's door is too small which is impressive to fuck up given they're likely flat-packed.
It's one of those lazy Susan corner units that spins out so the door can't fit tightly.

I have comment to make about anything else because I've pretty much said it before already. And licensing is done by county in CO iirc - you can imagine that Custer County doesn't give much of a fuck.
 
Re Phil’s recent IRA larping, is there a way to encourage a Twitter crossover with another Irish larper Lolcow, but one who hates the IRA? Specifically thinking of Fatrick here
Highly unlikely unless Patrick was part of a troon dogpile. Penny focuses on the tranch and seven car callout pileups, not one to reach out much. Don't know about Patrick's MO. All theoretical, don't poke them.
 
Highly unlikely unless Patrick was part of a troon dogpile. Penny focuses on the tranch and seven car callout pileups, not one to reach out much. Don't know about Patrick's MO. All theoretical, don't poke them.
Hilariously, Pat did brush up against one of the tranch orbiters. I recall this guy's profile picture from the interactions he had with the tranch during the Earl grift. He may have been one of the people that visited during that time.

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Sky has been liking / retweeting / commenting on 666DirtWitch’s posts quite a lot of late. I think that’s the skinny Troon also known as Windy, the suspected crack addict.

During the Dead Dog Debacle, Bonnie seemed to indicate that Sky no longer lived at the Tranch.


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A straight read of this is that dirt witch has also bailed out from the sinking Tranch (unpaid lol!).

I will hereby put 2 and 2 together to make 5, and say that Sky and this troon are now an item. Some might say that’s a trade-up!

(Edit: wrong troon. Same story though)
 
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Sky has been liking / retweeting / commenting on 666DirtWitch’s posts quite a lot of late. I think that’s the skinny Troon also known as Windy, the suspected crack addict.

During the Dead Dog Debacle, Bonnie seemed to indicate that Sky no longer lived at the Tranch.


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A straight read of this is that dirt witch has also bailed out from the sinking Tranch (unpaid lol!).

I will hereby put 2 and 2 together to make 5, and say that Sky and this troon are now an item. Some might say that’s a trade-up!
Problem is Sky only retweets a bunch of dumb shit and doesn't produce any content by himself. That makes speculating about his situation too easy.
I'd say he's still on the Ranch, laying low.
 
Sky would be dumb to leave the tranch. At the moment it's bonbon that's abandoned ship, the tranch is likely the only marital asset. Do not physically leave under any circumstances unless a court says so.
It's only an asset if he sees it as one. But if he's on a new lovequest, the tranch would be trying him down to Bonnibel still. He's dumb, but not so much that he couldn't sign/sell his control to Penny, especially if other tranchers have been planting the ideas just to spite Bonnie (and Alyssa).
 
It looks like the tranch is on its last legs, they're all fleeing. If there is none left to do unpaid labour then that just leaves Phil doing everything because we all know the other house troons ain't going to lift a finger. With all the physical effort, cross hormones and stress he's falling apart fast. I hope he wakes up and abandons ship before he totally wrecks himself.

The BPD crazy chick was like a massive dose of radiation to the tranch, it was dead it just didn't know it yet. The walking ghost syndrome is now coming to an end and all the damage that was caused by that nuclear insanity is going to manifest itself.
 
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I hope he wakes up and abandons ship before he totally wrecks himself.
Even if he abandons ship he would still be tied to two boat anchors named Kevin and Michael. Now if he ditches one of or both of his pet tard gimps that is a different story.
The BPD crazy chick was like a massive dose of radiation to the tranch, it was dead it just didn't know it yet.
It is a tale as old as time, a woman destroying a male friend group.
 
Ah crap, I got them mixed up anyway. 666dirtwitch is not windy. This is windy (@windypuppywench).

Who coincidentally is also leaving the tranch. :story:

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He says he’s “off hormones” - sounds like the ranch is so skint they can’t even provide the most basic troon necessity for the serfs. Given it’s obvious ritualistic importance to these men, I think things are possibly closer to full collapse than they look (if that’s possible).
 
Things are about to get really interesting....

Also, love the confirmation that the serfs were working for free. Amazing. Can you imagine slaving for Penny on the ranch while lardass Kevin and shiteater Jen are treated like little princesses and Amazon boxes filled with Magic cards and transformers keep coming to the house (that you're not allowed to enter)? Penny almost built himself a real cult, but he didn't have the charm to pull it off in the end.
 
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