Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Hepativore]

So awhile back, my best friend died after a fairly rapid and aggressive illness. I mention this only because his widower is the one who has subsequently trooned out (MtF), and I'm increasingly convinced it's due to not processing his grief in a healthy manner. It's already implied but let me explicitly state they were a gay couple, because it's relevant to the story.

In hindsight, there was signs I should have noticed, but never did

• Over the years, he'd occasionally dress in drag, with full makeup and everything.
• I don't think the funeral had even happened get when he asked if I'd ever banged my friend or not. And then followed up with "why not?" when I said no. Don't let my pfp fool you, Kiwis. I am not Cheryl Hines of Curb Your Enthusiasm fame. Or even a woman for that matter. Anyhow, he seemed perplexed as to why a straight man wouldn't have banged his gay best friend, but I just chalked it up to grief doing weird things to people and let it pass.
• A mere few months after the funeral, he was already back in the dating pool. I thought it was rather quick, as I was still heavily mourning, but I figured it wasn't my place to judge someone on how quickly they got through their grief

Anyhow, I knew something was up when he suddenly started posting a lot more pics in drag on social media. He'd done it before, but was typically quite sparing with it, so this was unusual. So when I got the text a few weeks later that he was now a true and honest woman, I wasn't exactly surprised.

He immediately jumped into taking E, claiming he had been on HRT in the past, before he and my friend entered into a relationship, but stopped because of friends very conservative parents, assuming they wouldn't approve. I don't know if its true, or just typical troon revisionist history, but I don't much care for the low-key shifting of the blame to my friend and his parents, who were incredibly supportive of them both, and loved him like their own.

Fast forward 3 months, and he tells me he's considering bolt-ons (he has not yet, to my knowledge, gone through with this), and starts telling me about the effects E has has on his body in excruciating detail. "In case you're considering it too", he says, because apparently troons have a law saying they need to trans other ppeople. Fuck off bro, I'm not joining the cult.

Jump ahead another month, he sends me a pic wearing a flesh toned, skin tight leotard because he's so proud of the effect his titty skittles have been having

Amidst all this, I've tried talking about non-trans issues with him, but my attempts go ignored, without fail.

To end this long story, the last time we spoke, he excitedly told me how he had some government ID officially updated to female, on International Women's Day, because he's going for a tranny bingo blackout it seems.

He hasn't mentioned a desire for an amhole yet, but I feel like that's inevitably in the future. If he wasn't such a strong link to someone I cared for deeply, I'd walk away, but I just... I don't know anymore. It's left me in the awful situation of being glad my friend didn't have to see this happen, despite wishing he was still with us. I feel like I failed my promise to my friend to help his partner get through it all. It fucking sucks.

I am curious if there is any correlation between homosexual males being more likely to troon out like there are with homosexual females...or if there is a roughly-equal rate of toonery between homosexual and heterosexual men.

 

[DumbDude42]

I am curious if there is any correlation between homosexual males being more likely to troon out like there are with homosexual females...or if there is a roughly-equal rate of toonery between homosexual and heterosexual men.

from what i can tell, up until fairly recently (like 20 years ago) almost all male trannies were homosexuals. straight male trannies of the "become the gf" kind seem to be a fairly recent development, but their numbers have exploded since then, so right now they are probably the new majority.

 

[Law]

My lesbian ex just trooned out.
Did I hit TERF bingo yet?

 

[NerdShamer]

My lesbian ex just trooned out.
Did I hit TERF bingo yet?

Only if there's skinwalking involved.

 

[umami's milk]

Small update, i did some research and found out that his vrchat "girlfriend" is a "pansexual" "any pronouns" and "her" bio says "Thick hoe with a bad attitude". there really couldn't be anymore red flags

He swears up and down that "she's" a true and honest woman but i'm not 100% sure yet. He's been acting like a changed man and randomly started talking about their "VRsex" sessions and it was grossing everyone out, he's been getting no sleep and has basically been living in VRchat for the past week. He also rejected going out with a girl he liked in real life to hang out with this VR bitch, We've been making fun of him for awhile and he seemed really unfazed by it. All we can really do is just watch his downfall at this point...

Holy shit SE Lain is real.

 

[Nero You're DeadWeight]

Can't remember if I posted, but it's been a whole year and some change since I got cut out of my ex tranny friend's life. My life has improved by leaps and miles which I am super proud of, but I still absolutely hate the late winter-spring months due to the seasonal trauma. Not gonna lie, trauma is still a bitch. (TLDR for older posts: I got suicide baited to high hell and accused of being a pedo because I liked fictional characters). I still have a good chunk to unlearn, but it's a slow mountain to climb. I do hate however that when I watch some movies I keep seeing her face? I know it's not her but it still fucks with me, and the fact I feel like I can't be happy sometimes due to the trauma but it's whatever I'll get over it. But if anyone knows how to like ignore the whole "I see her everywhere shit" let me know cause that would be nice to know.

Recently, I thought she nuked all of her social media since her carrd + other socials went down and everything, but I think she may have reactivated an account on tumblr, de-transitioned, and just rebranded herself as a Christian? I think it's just the paranoia flaring up and i'm freaking out about nothing, but I can't help but feel that disgusting paranoia here and there and how shit feels eerily similar/lines up a smidge which is suspicious. Even if she went back to her original gender, I still hope she fucking suffers or whatever. I'm not going to forgive this bitch for all the shit she put me through and I never will.

My general advice to some of the struggling kiwis out here: Spying is not worth it. It fucks up your mental health a lot and it is genuinely not really worth it in the long run. Sometimes it's just better to forget and never look back or else you'll stir up some unpleasant memories and have an even worse taste in your mouth. Hopefully this stupid advice helps somebody out there who needs to hear it.

 

[BroccoliBrain]

Update on my friend, he sent me a pic of himself dressed normally but with pink eyeshadow. If I thought he was troon-friendly before, now I'm convinced he's well on his way. He once said he'd put on edgy eyeliner and even foundation to go to rock concerts, I didn't think anything of it at the time but I'm pretty sure metalhead dudes don't give a fuck about their pores.

My general advice to some of the struggling kiwis out here: Spying is not worth it. It fucks up your mental health a lot and it is genuinely not really worth it in the long run.

This is sound advice. I strongly urge people not to essentially cowtip troons in their personal life, you will regret it and have, at the very least, only prolonged their trooning. Spying on exes and the like is also completely worthless, a net negative to your time that could be spent on PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING to enrich your short life on this Earth, don't waste it on fucking around with psychos.

 

[cornycat]

A gay guy friend who lived in a conservative town and would come to me about transitioning (which I still have a friendship with, and he knows I'm a terf, yet is fine with it.) He told me he transitioned to a woman because it was easier than being a gay guy in his town (abusive dad, his dad left his mom and him, along with his little sister when he came out.)
He told me more men came to him as a trans woman than him being a cis gay guy. He said he agreed with me on my terf ideology, and wishes he could be a cis gay guy, however, is too afraid to be shunned again. He had no trauma with sexual abuse, no trauma related to pedophilia, he was just an ugly kid who always had attraction to men. I have no idea why his father got that angry, but to be fair, his family is a different culture.

I also saw multiple lesbian mutuals turn into nonbinary or whatnot. Multiple straight females who turned into feminine nonbinary to feel better about being a female, but packaged in a way where they can shit on other females without seeming "sexist", or not having to lie about being attracted to females so they can talk about how much dick they want, because for some reason, them being the opposite gender makes it okay to be provocative about their attraction(?)

Hell, I almost fell down the rabbit hole myself, it's really not that difficult, even if your parents raised you right. It really boils down to schools and how society views you. I was constantly told I was a broken woman due to being a tomboy, and people would pressure me into trooning out, since it would "fit me better". I'm just glad I learned to value myself and learned that these people genuinely don't matter.

 

[The Emperor Skeksis]

So awhile back, my best friend died after a fairly rapid and aggressive illness. I mention this only because his widower is the one who has subsequently trooned out (MtF), and I'm increasingly convinced it's due to not processing his grief in a healthy manner. It's already implied but let me explicitly state they were a gay couple, because it's relevant to the story.

In hindsight, there was signs I should have noticed, but never did

• Over the years, he'd occasionally dress in drag, with full makeup and everything.
• I don't think the funeral had even happened get when he asked if I'd ever banged my friend or not. And then followed up with "why not?" when I said no. Don't let my pfp fool you, Kiwis. I am not Cheryl Hines of Curb Your Enthusiasm fame. Or even a woman for that matter. Anyhow, he seemed perplexed as to why a straight man wouldn't have banged his gay best friend, but I just chalked it up to grief doing weird things to people and let it pass.
• A mere few months after the funeral, he was already back in the dating pool. I thought it was rather quick, as I was still heavily mourning, but I figured it wasn't my place to judge someone on how quickly they got through their grief

Anyhow, I knew something was up when he suddenly started posting a lot more pics in drag on social media. He'd done it before, but was typically quite sparing with it, so this was unusual. So when I got the text a few weeks later that he was now a true and honest woman, I wasn't exactly surprised.

He immediately jumped into taking E, claiming he had been on HRT in the past, before he and my friend entered into a relationship, but stopped because of friends very conservative parents, assuming they wouldn't approve. I don't know if its true, or just typical troon revisionist history, but I don't much care for the low-key shifting of the blame to my friend and his parents, who were incredibly supportive of them both, and loved him like their own.

Fast forward 3 months, and he tells me he's considering bolt-ons (he has not yet, to my knowledge, gone through with this), and starts telling me about the effects E has has on his body in excruciating detail. "In case you're considering it too", he says, because apparently troons have a law saying they need to trans other ppeople. Fuck off bro, I'm not joining the cult.

Jump ahead another month, he sends me a pic wearing a flesh toned, skin tight leotard because he's so proud of the effect his titty skittles have been having

Amidst all this, I've tried talking about non-trans issues with him, but my attempts go ignored, without fail.

To end this long story, the last time we spoke, he excitedly told me how he had some government ID officially updated to female, on International Women's Day, because he's going for a tranny bingo blackout it seems.

He hasn't mentioned a desire for an amhole yet, but I feel like that's inevitably in the future. If he wasn't such a strong link to someone I cared for deeply, I'd walk away, but I just... I don't know anymore. It's left me in the awful situation of being glad my friend didn't have to see this happen, despite wishing he was still with us. I feel like I failed my promise to my friend to help his partner get through it all. It fucking sucks.

I'm sorry you're through this. I think you're absolutely right that your friend's partner is fleeing into troonery to not deal with his grief. Maybe that was always his way to cope, but he's lost it now. Don't blame yourself, all you can do is push back and you're already doing that. Is there any way you can push him into getting some grief councelling?

He told me he transitioned to a woman because it was easier than being a gay guy in his town (abusive dad, his dad left his mom and him, along with his little sister when he came out.)

That's just sad. I can't even blame him there. I hope he can make a happy life for himself somehow, at least he's not delusional.

 

[FeatherPlucker]

So awhile back, my best friend died after a fairly rapid and aggressive illness. I mention this only because his widower is the one who has subsequently trooned out (MtF), and I'm increasingly convinced it's due to not processing his grief in a healthy manner. It's already implied but let me explicitly state they were a gay couple, because it's relevant to the story.

In hindsight, there was signs I should have noticed, but never did

• Over the years, he'd occasionally dress in drag, with full makeup and everything.
• I don't think the funeral had even happened get when he asked if I'd ever banged my friend or not. And then followed up with "why not?" when I said no. Don't let my pfp fool you, Kiwis. I am not Cheryl Hines of Curb Your Enthusiasm fame. Or even a woman for that matter. Anyhow, he seemed perplexed as to why a straight man wouldn't have banged his gay best friend, but I just chalked it up to grief doing weird things to people and let it pass.
• A mere few months after the funeral, he was already back in the dating pool. I thought it was rather quick, as I was still heavily mourning, but I figured it wasn't my place to judge someone on how quickly they got through their grief

Anyhow, I knew something was up when he suddenly started posting a lot more pics in drag on social media. He'd done it before, but was typically quite sparing with it, so this was unusual. So when I got the text a few weeks later that he was now a true and honest woman, I wasn't exactly surprised.

He immediately jumped into taking E, claiming he had been on HRT in the past, before he and my friend entered into a relationship, but stopped because of friends very conservative parents, assuming they wouldn't approve. I don't know if its true, or just typical troon revisionist history, but I don't much care for the low-key shifting of the blame to my friend and his parents, who were incredibly supportive of them both, and loved him like their own.

Fast forward 3 months, and he tells me he's considering bolt-ons (he has not yet, to my knowledge, gone through with this), and starts telling me about the effects E has has on his body in excruciating detail. "In case you're considering it too", he says, because apparently troons have a law saying they need to trans other ppeople. Fuck off bro, I'm not joining the cult.

Jump ahead another month, he sends me a pic wearing a flesh toned, skin tight leotard because he's so proud of the effect his titty skittles have been having

Amidst all this, I've tried talking about non-trans issues with him, but my attempts go ignored, without fail.

To end this long story, the last time we spoke, he excitedly told me how he had some government ID officially updated to female, on International Women's Day, because he's going for a tranny bingo blackout it seems.

He hasn't mentioned a desire for an amhole yet, but I feel like that's inevitably in the future. If he wasn't such a strong link to someone I cared for deeply, I'd walk away, but I just... I don't know anymore. It's left me in the awful situation of being glad my friend didn't have to see this happen, despite wishing he was still with us. I feel like I failed my promise to my friend to help his partner get through it all. It fucking sucks.

That's weird. What, did he find tons of tranny porn in his dead lover's stash or something?

A gay guy friend who lived in a conservative town and would come to me about transitioning (which I still have a friendship with, and he knows I'm a terf, yet is fine with it.) He told me he transitioned to a woman because it was easier than being a gay guy in his town (abusive dad, his dad left his mom and him, along with his little sister when he came out.)
He told me more men came to him as a trans woman than him being a cis gay guy. He said he agreed with me on my terf ideology, and wishes he could be a cis gay guy, however, is too afraid to be shunned again. He had no trauma with sexual abuse, no trauma related to pedophilia, he was just an ugly kid who always had attraction to men. I have no idea why his father got that angry, but to be fair, his family is a different culture.

I also saw multiple lesbian mutuals turn into nonbinary or whatnot. Multiple straight females who turned into feminine nonbinary to feel better about being a female, but packaged in a way where they can shit on other females without seeming "sexist", or not having to lie about being attracted to females so they can talk about how much dick they want, because for some reason, them being the opposite gender makes it okay to be provocative about their attraction(?)

Hell, I almost fell down the rabbit hole myself, it's really not that difficult, even if your parents raised you right. It really boils down to schools and how society views you. I was constantly told I was a broken woman due to being a tomboy, and people would pressure me into trooning out, since it would "fit me better". I'm just glad I learned to value myself and learned that these people genuinely don't matter.

Why doesn't a guy like that just try to make a plan and MOVE? There are other states/cities that are friendlier.

 

[Kung Pow Cream]

A tranny janny IP banned me off a site when I gave them a study that shows that GRS doesn't work. It was kinda worth it in the end because it was the funniest thing seeing them try to cope with the data in front of their eyes. Surgery does nothing. They're cutting them up for no reason. They still try to kill themselves and they still need medications. It's almost as if trooning is a symptom of mental illness that isn't being be treated. It's almost as if putting them under the knife is damaging them.



Here is the source for the data in Table 1

 

[cornycat]

@_giantmeteor2024_
He can't move because he's 18 years old. He has no financial support from his father and is working to support his mother.

 

[snake aids]

Spoke to my psychologist today, she says it sounds like he's trooning out for the sexual fetish and she's absolutely correct. I spoke to her about some other related stuff and apparently I'm a victim of sexual violence which is just lovely. Who woulda thought! A troon, being a rapist and possible pedo? Unheard of! Anyways, I'm feeling better, I'll get there eventually. To everyone else suffering from people trooning out, I love you and stay strong. This fad will die out eventually.

 

[Hepativore]

I wish the "people with penises" and "people with vaginas" or "people who menstruate" thing would die faster. It just sounds so asinine.

The thing is, though, I am not so sure that this is going to go away in the near future, as entire careers are being made out of promoting troon propaganda and trooning out for attention. Plus, there is probably quite a financial incentive for pharmaceutical companies and greedy plastic surgeons to rake in the money they make selling troon treatments and surgery. A post-SRS troon is a lifelong cash cow that they can milk for the rest of the troon's life as the troon basically has fucked up their endocrine system permanently by then.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I try not to talk in any detail about family on here, but suffice to say, an adolescent family member's good friend from our close-knit little community* has trooned out. We suspected it was happening for a long time but we saw them at a gathering this weekend and the kid had that pervert pencil thin stache and a concave chest- obviously started T and got the teetus yeetus. The kid may have turned 18 this year- lockdown means I see everyone in my life less and time feels distorted, but that sounds right. But even if she hadn't, her parents are fucking idiots and I'm sure they would have easily been conned into it.

I probably should have said "former friend" because my family member had drifted apart from this girl already due to being incredibly based and grossed out by the friend's increasing genderblob traits. Oh and yes if you were wondering, the gender trender girl is an autist too. The mom is one of those dumb bimbos obsessed with having a son to a pathological degree. The dad is a cipher to me but I wouldn't be surprised if he has some nasty skeletons in his closet. They have always generated insane amounts of drama and distress, all their kids have obvious Issues, I can't even describe the worst of it because it might be googlable. They are flaming libtards despite the community overall being very quaint and backwards in the best of ways. IDEK why they don't just go the fuck away.

I am sick to death of troons befouling everything and every place. This was one place on earth where I could go and not have to walk on eggshells around fucking troons. Now this troon is there, and because everyone knew her as a little girl, it's expected to tiptoe and be nice. Fuck that.

*a quite conservative religious community and I have Questions about why our leaders aren't putting their feet down harder about this bs.

 

[Snack Cracker]

This is really a second hand losing someone to a troon but it depresses me.

Have a friend who’s always been a lesbian and dated women, over the past couple years she’s drank the TRA kool aid, now she’s dating a fucking man while still calling herself a lesbian and treating him like a soft girl when the man has a permanent 5 o’clock shadow and a jawline like the Crimson Chin.

Lesbians stay strong

 

[Ser Prize]

*a quite conservative religious community and I have Questions about why our leaders aren't putting their feet down harder about this bs.

Forgive the political sperging: but it's because They Won. Just like gay marriage and forced inegration are the new normal so are trannies.

That's what hits that hardest. This shit is probably not going away. They did the classic haggling tactic of asking for more than what they wanted so that they could "compromise" and get exactly what they wanted. We're gonna have to live in a world where stodgy conservatives live with "well sure trans are okay but it's those pedosexuals we gotta be worried about".

Fuck what a blackpill.

 

[Hepativore]

Forgive the political sperging: but it's because They Won. Just like gay marriage and forced inegration are the new normal so are trannies.

That's what hits that hardest. This shit is probably not going away. They did the classic haggling tactic of asking for more than what they wanted so that they could "compromise" and get exactly what they wanted. We're gonna have to live in a world where stodgy conservatives live with "well sure trans are okay but it's those pedosexuals we gotta be worried about".

Fuck what a blackpill.

I guess the difference is that homosexuals and bisexuals do not deny biology, as a gay man is still a man, and a lesbian woman is still a woman. Troons deny hard biological facts as men and women are biologically different and one cannot become the other no matter what extent the treatments a person undergoes in the process. Also, there is quite a bit of dissension building up between the LGB people and the trannies, as the former are increasingly getting annoyed by the latter judging by the rapid growth of the LGB Alliance in the UK so there might be some hope yet. There is also an LGB USA, now, so there is some slow pushback, it seems.

In both cases, the LGB Alliance groups focus on issues regarding said LGB people and to tell troons and troon culture to BTFO when it comes to their spaces, in addition to stopping trannies from trying to convert children.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I guess the difference is that homosexuals and bisexuals do not deny biology, as a gay man is still a man, and a lesbian woman is still a woman. Troons deny hard biological facts as men and women are biologically different and one cannot become the other no matter what extent the treatments a person undergoes in the process. Also, there is quite a bit of dissension building up between the LGB people and the trannies, as the former are increasingly getting annoyed by the latter judging by the rapid growth of the LGB Alliance in the UK so there might be some hope yet. There is also an LGB USA, now, so there is some slow pushback, it seems.

In both cases, the LGB Alliance groups focus on issues regarding said LGB people and to tell troons and troon culture to BTFO when it comes to their spaces, in addition to stopping trannies from trying to convert children.

I think the truth about LGBs and "denying biology" is a little more complicated. On the one hand yes, they affirm biological sex and the traits of each sex. OTOH they were not content with accepting biology insofar as it meant they would always be oddballs and outliers- men and women whose sexual urges pointed in a way contrary to their purpose (reproduction) and who used their reproductive parts in ways not intended by Nature/our Maker/however you want to phrase it. They insisted on pushing "marriage" to refer to their liasons even though marriage had been understood forever to be about the fact that man and woman coming together sexually created a family via reproduction. They insisted on "love makes a family," sperm banking, surrogacy, and being allowed to form faux nuclear families with other people's kids. And in doing that they made society get comfortable with the kind of polite self-deception and humoring of lies that is required in order to pretend a man is really a woman because he wants to be one.

 

[Punitive Castration]

I think the truth about LGBs and "denying biology" is a little more complicated. On the one hand yes, they affirm biological sex and the traits of each sex. OTOH they were not content with accepting biology insofar as it meant they would always be oddballs and outliers- men and women whose sexual urges pointed in a way contrary to their purpose (reproduction) and who used their reproductive parts in ways not intended by Nature/our Maker/however you want to phrase it. They insisted on pushing "marriage" to refer to their liasons even though marriage had been understood forever to be about the fact that man and woman coming together sexually created a family via reproduction. They insisted on "love makes a family," sperm banking, surrogacy, and being allowed to form faux nuclear families with other people's kids. And in doing that they made society get comfortable with the kind of polite self-deception and humoring of lies that is required in order to pretend a man is really a woman because he wants to be one.

The problem is the fundamental difference of the "deception."

A homophobe is not someone who thinks homosexual sex does not exist. Homophobes don't think that gay people are not actually gay.
The mechanical reality of homosexuality can be observed. There is no anal force field that curves dick away.
Homosexuality isn't a lie. You can disagree with it, or discourage it, but it can and does happen.

It's pointless to conflate that with what kind of lie transgenders tell. Your mind can be changed one day and you could quit objecting to homosexuality, but having a different take on transgenderism will not make gender identity or transition real.