Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Gus]

There was this one effeminate emo kid with long hair and a gay sounding voice in my old high school era friend group that I used to call by female pronouns because I thought it was funny. Then one day they came out as a trans girl and... just sort of remained an effeminate emo kid with long hair and a gay sounding voice.

There's another friend I have who was pre-op trans for like seven years and then decided he wasn't. That was uncanny because I went from using a female name and pronouns on a male-presenting dude (between friends) to using his given name and pronouns after years of not. So I had to get used to calling someone who looked male by their biological sex again. I honestly enjoyed how ridiculous it felt. It was a good laugh.

But I really haven't encountered any of the horror stories when it comes to real close friends or family and I never felt too fixated on any of it. I've had a few loved ones transition, but I've always been careful to sort of steer them away from sensationalism by not letting toxic extremist dogma be the only shoulder they have to lean on. There's some neurosis involved, but you can help them smooth it over with time. Works for me.

In all honesty, I've lived too weird and screwed up a life to have much phase me anymore. It's a strange sea, but I have to sail it. Oh well.

 

[DumbDude42]

Now there have been several generations of women who have been conditioned to view men, who are only being friendly in a way that would have been seen as entirely normal in the past, as "fuckboys" who are a "threat".

the conditioning goes in the other direction too
i've noticed this in myself: after almost a decade of being bombarded with ridiculous retard sob stories about "sexual harrassment" and "sexual assault" from grifters like adria richards or mattress girl or the kavanaugh accuser, i now find it difficult to take any complaint about such matters seriously, instead my default response is now "probably just another attention whore looking for fame"

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

the conditioning goes in the other direction too
i've noticed this in myself: after almost a decade of being bombarded with ridiculous retard sob stories about "sexual harrassment" and "sexual assault" from grifters like adria richards or mattress girl or the kavanaugh accuser, i now find it difficult to take any complaint about such matters seriously, instead my default response is now "probably just another attention whore looking for fame"

The hippocampus lady in particular made me start to wonder if not only is it common for women to lie about this shit, but common for them to be so hypnotized by the social reinforcement and attention that they believe their own lies.

I was always of the "no one would lie about something so serious unless they were truly deranged, thus it is uncommon" camp before.

 

[The Emperor Skeksis]

While taking for granted that women throughout time are obviously going to feel uncomfortable and threatened by Category One, do you think that the feminist rhetoric and public service announcements around Category 2 have made them feel more threatening and upsetting to impressionable young people today than they might have been in the past?

I think @teriyakiburns is correct, real violence and intimidation is conflated with just dumb or jerkish behaviour, and because girls are being taught to be afraid of both (and to obsess over it forever when something inappropriate does happen), even an awkward 'Smile, girl' now makes girls feel that this rose to the level of assault. My generation was taught resilience, but younger girls are taught resentment and fear - see the discourse on Ovarit for example, it gets really toxic, even to the point that they are describing all male teenagers/boys as (future) predators.

I'm not excusing male behaviour, though - our society needs to better socialise the next generation of boys and men too, because thanks to the Internet there are so many more awkward spergs with no social skills, and they do act creepy and say completely inappropriate things at the wrong time. Plus there is a time and a place for flirting, and a lot young men have forgotten that. And that can make an insecure young woman feel very uncomfortable and shitty about herself, and make her catastrophise what actually happened.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I think @teriyakiburns is correct, real violence and intimidation is conflated with just dumb or jerkish behaviour, and because girls are being taught to be afraid of both (and to obsess over it forever when something inappropriate does happen), even an awkward 'Smile, girl' now makes girls feel that this rose to the level of assault. My generation was taught resilience, but younger girls are taught resentment and fear - see the discourse on Ovarit for example, it gets really toxic, even to the point that they are describing all male teenagers/boys as (future) predators.

I'm not excusing male behaviour, though - our society needs to better socialise the next generation of boys and men too, because thanks to the Internet there are so many more awkward spergs with no social skills, and they do act creepy and say completely inappropriate things at the wrong time. Plus there is a time and a place for flirting, and a lot young men have forgotten that. And that can make an insecure young woman feel very uncomfortable and shitty about herself, and make her catastrophise what actually happened.

Yeah I'm looking at both sides of this and it's just grim. On the one side, if you are taught to freak out and panic and feel afraid for your safety every time some doofus says "you look prettier when you smile" or something retarded like that, you'll become a sexually deformed basketcase pretty quick. And on the other side, if one misfired attempt at being nice or making a romantic move can get you tarred as "sex pest," you'll become a sexually deformed basketcase pretty quick. So we have millions of sexually deformed basketcases.

Also I noticed that even while any activity from men or boys is increasingly viewed as suspicious or inappropriate, there has been a backtracking on women being more active in their pursuit. In the 90s it was all about "girls can ask a boy to the dance too" and even if most did not, it was a thing, it really did happen. Now the pressure is on guys to make all the moves, and making any move could be the one that gets you Aziz Ansari'ed into oblivion.

 

[The Emperor Skeksis]

Also I noticed that even while any activity from men or boys is increasingly viewed as suspicious or inappropriate, there has been a backtracking on women being more active in their pursuit. In the 90s it was all about "girls can ask a boy to the dance too" and even if most did not, it was a thing, it really did happen. Now the pressure is on guys to make all the moves, and making any move could be the one that gets you Aziz Ansari'ed into oblivion.

But if you're ~trans~ then suddenly no girl is allowed to be mad at you, and all your awkward moves and misfires were just due to being in the wrong body at the time and the process of becoming your True Self. And then you're a lady so you don't have to approach anyone anymore, and you get to call yourself a 'shy subby bottom' on dating apps.
It's honestly surprising more teen boys aren't trooning out.

 

[HenryKissiger]

My wife will become trans in 30 minutes

 

[Deepland Bystander]

Ok - I don't want to ask something that likely doesn't have an answer. But how much is the possibility that an AGP coomer weeb troon will eventually back off?

All I hope is my friend getting some sanity and realise that reality is not like Reddit traaaaa meme sub.

Unlike most troon, he's got a gf, but largely because the gf is totally seeing him as male and she's riding the woke clout too. (And sadly his gf is my childhood friend too)

 

[Mrs. Addams]

Ok - I don't want to ask something that likely doesn't have an answer. But how much is the possibility that an AGP coomee weeb troon will eventually back off?

All I hope is my friend getting some sanity and realise that reality is not like Reddit traaaaa meme sub.

Unlike most troon, he's got a gf, but largely because the gf is totally seeing him as male and she's riding the woke clout too. (And sadly his gf is my childhood friend too)

It's hard to get them to back off. I've heard about it, usually with younger teens, but never seen it in real life.

I work with a lot of men and one thing I've noticed with the "women fearing men" thing is that what really sets of my freak-out vibe off isn't men themselves, or being alone with them, but is guys "behaving erratically" or "outside of societal expectations". Like, I remember coming home late from work at like 2 AM one night, and the normally chill guy across the street was in his garage screaming... My brain is instantly plotting a safe path from my car to being inside with my door locked. Likewise, one of my troon friends took me out to lunch, got upset at someone in a story he was telling, and started pounding on the table - and instantly the animal part of my brain is calculating how many movements and seconds it would take to get safely out of the restaurant before he could grab me. It's the fact that, if a dude is acting erratically... cat-calling... screaming in his garage at 2AM... angry enough to pound on a table... he's not doing, "polite and restrained society" and there's no knowing what other, bigger societal boundaries he might transgress...

 

[Flavius Claudius Julianus]

I truly do not comprehend how people keep "enby" and troon friends even if they are supposedly "based." How "based" can a person be when they are asking everyone they meet in the world to lie and perjure themselves in order to play along with a sexual malfunction/fetish?

I feel sick just having to be civil to them from across the room. If you're friends with them and think you're staying grounded, someone involved is lying to himself.

This. I don't know any trannies, but if I did, or someone trooned out suddenly, the best case scenario would be I'd occasionally spectate the disaster on social media and laugh at how fucking retarded they are. Most likely they'd be turbo nuked from my life, as keeping people around you like that is a net negative.

Go outside, engage in hobbies that don't involve games, MTG, or anime, and you'll find episodes of troonery are practically nonexistent.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

It's hard to get them to back off. I've heard about it, usually with younger teens, but never seen it in real life.

I work with a lot of men and one thing I've noticed with the "women fearing men" thing is that what really sets of my freak-out vibe off isn't men themselves, or being alone with them, but is guys "behaving erratically" or "outside of societal expectations". Like, I remember coming home late from work at like 2 AM one night, and the normally chill guy across the street was in his garage screaming... My brain is instantly plotting a safe path from my car to being inside with my door locked. Likewise, one of my troon friends took me out to lunch, got upset at someone in a story he was telling, and started pounding on the table - and instantly the animal part of my brain is calculating how many movements and seconds it would take to get safely out of the restaurant before he could grab me. It's the fact that, if a dude is acting erratically... cat-calling... screaming in his garage at 2AM... angry enough to pound on a table... he's not doing, "polite and restrained society" and there's no knowing what other, bigger societal boundaries he might transgress...

And we have obliterated social norms and removed the old rewards and punishment for upholding/violating them that used to keep people together somewhat. What could go wrong? No wonder everyone is on edge.

 

[Darkholme's Dungeon]

And we have obliterated social norms and removed the old rewards and punishment for upholding/violating them that used to keep people together somewhat. What could go wrong? No wonder everyone is on edge.

The proper solution is the one that used to be common in the deep south area I used to live.
"Got a problem with your kid? Beat it out of him".
There's a recent video making rounds on the media of a Chinese kid (3y) beating a girl (2y) by stomping her head because he wanted candy because his parents don't beat him enough. These parents are as bad, if not worse than pedos.

That reminds me I about this girl who used to stalk me in elementary/middle school and now is one of those German Shepard non-binary types on twitter. A shame because she could have been the smartest person in the class even if a nigger She made it to Sophmore year in college before going insane so I guess I was too pessimistic lol. Pretty sure she was borderline autismo like most of us though.

In the 90s it was all about "girls can ask a boy to the dance too" and even if most did not, it was a thing, it really did happen. Now the pressure is on guys to make all the moves, and making any move could be the one that gets you Aziz Ansari'ed into oblivion.

Spoiler: Retard sperging

I wish that still happened more often, I had classmates in college rant on about their crushes on other Asian men to me it was annoying, and when I told them to go try they would always go "Oh nooo! He's so shy I don't want to scare him!"
...Then again cultural differences like not looking people in the eye do add up...

 

[Fartificial Insmelligence]

The proper solution is the one that used to be common in the deep south area I used to live.
"Got a problem with your kid? Beat it out of him".
There's a recent video making rounds on the media of a Chinese kid (3y) beating a girl (2y) by stomping her head because he wanted candy because his parents don't beat him enough. These parents are as bad, if not worse than pedos.

That reminds me I about this girl who used to stalk me in elementary/middle school and now is one of those German Shepard non-binary types on twitter. A shame because she could have been the smartest person in the class even if a nigger She made it to Sophmore year in college before going insane so I guess I was too pessimistic lol. Pretty sure she was borderline autismo like most of us though.

Spoiler: Retard sperging

I wish that still happened more often, I had classmates in college rant on about their crushes on other Asian men to me it was annoying, and when I told them to go try they would always go "Oh nooo! He's so shy I don't want to scare him!"
...Then again cultural differences like not looking people in the eye do add up...

Can a kid at 3 years old (and let's be safe and say the beatings would need to happen before that age to have the repercussions sink in) even understand why they're getting a beating so young?

 

[Juju Makes a Man]

Never posted here before, hope it's not too long: Power leveling (obviously)

There are three people who've transitioned in my life. Let's call them Al, A, and B. Met A in middle school (pre-trooning), Al in highschool (pre-trooning), and B in highschool (post-troon).

Al: Skinny Mexican guy who always hung out with us because we had a mutual friend. Not masculine, weak voice, and a huge pushover. He announced he was transing because one of his cousins was a troon/pretended to be (??) and he wanted to be there for them. Now goes by M and uses "she/her" pronouns. He was raped by one of A's ex-friends (female who said she was a lesbian) and told us this over Discord. I actually had a crush on the guy in Freshman year, he's not bad looking and if he worked out/grew a spine, he'd be a regular well-adjusted guy. Whether it be due to trauma or a bad home life, I just feel bad for him. Cut off after highschool.

A: She's a well-off liberal white girl who (due to a lot of mental health issues) decided that she was better off as a "they/them" and "he/him" than a boring basic bitch like the rest of us. She whines about politics regularly, is a furry, has an Asian fetish (along with a black women and latina fetish), but has only ever dated white men (annoying, boring, and creepy men, at that), and regularly takes trips to Europe, buys expensive fur-suits, yet calls her parents "abusive". She is also an atheistic communist (!!!) despite going to a private Catholic school and posts BLM often. I looked up her Instagram and Twitter where she regularly posts commissioned porn, her less than mediocre furry art, and whines about how much highschool sucked because nobody liked her (for obvious reasons). In middle school, she joined my friend group while we were going through stupid pre-teen drama. It ended with all of us breaking off (except her and me) in Freshman year where she cut her hair "like a lesbian" (her words), then identifying as ace, then nonbinary, and now trans. Like clockwork. I only liked her cause she was rich and kinda funny, at first. Now, she's just preachy and annoying. I cut her off before highschool ended.

B: Met her through a mutual friend. Bonded over art, disliking our home life, and being 'bisexual' (i.e. scared of heterosexual relationships, but never dated women). She was just an edgy emo kid with mommy issues (who is both likely on the spectrum and admitted to being molested when she was younger), but always talked of dysphoria. I really didn't know how to react to this but everyone else was taking her seriously so I thought I would. That "dysphoria" amounted to the fact that she didn't like her boobs, she didn't like her period, and she didn't like the way creepy men looked at her (something that we all related to because we are all women). She changed her name, started dressing more "masculine", turned her fur-sona (also a furry, atheistic communist ) into an edgy cat-boy, and told all the guys who were attracted to her that they were actually gay. I really didn't see her in any masculine way she's a very petite person with a very feminine voice. However, she plans on starting hormones soon since she's 18 and getting the chop. I am absolutely terrified of what will happen to her. I don't know what to do because unlike A she's still in my friend group. In fact, she's one of my best friends and her influence has caused my other best friend to identify as "she/they" (she is also ADHD, paranoid, and likely on the spectrum, too). I actually care about them both as a people and I'm so fucking scared. I don't know what to do, I can't bring this up because they'll both call me "transphobic" and cut me off. We've been through hell together, but she got mad at me for saying that being "non-binary" doesn't make sense. She was also molested by A (who later claimed B raped her), yet respects the "they/them" pronouns B uses. I don't know what to do. Is it too late for them? Do I have to let them go? I don't want to lose my only friends over something as stupid as fucking "gender".

 

[Hepativore]

Never posted here before, hope it's not too long: Power leveling (obviously)

There are three people who've transitioned in my life. Let's call them Al, A, and B. Met A in middle school (pre-trooning), Al in highschool (pre-trooning), and B in highschool (post-troon).

Al: Skinny Mexican guy who always hung out with us because we had a mutual friend. Not masculine, weak voice, and a huge pushover. He announced he was transing because one of his cousins was a troon/pretended to be (??) and he wanted to be there for them. Now goes by M and uses "she/her" pronouns. He was raped by one of A's ex-friends (female who said she was a lesbian) and told us this over Discord. I actually had a crush on the guy in Freshman year, he's not bad looking and if he worked out/grew a spine, he'd be a regular well-adjusted guy. Whether it be due to trauma or a bad home life, I just feel bad for him. Cut off after highschool.

A: She's a well-off liberal white girl who (due to a lot of mental health issues) decided that she was better off as a "they/them" and "he/him" than a boring basic bitch like the rest of us. She whines about politics regularly, is a furry, has an Asian fetish (along with a black women and latina fetish), but has only ever dated white men (annoying, boring, and creepy men, at that), and regularly takes trips to Europe, buys expensive fur-suits, yet calls her parents "abusive". She is also an atheistic communist (!!!) despite going to a private Catholic school and posts BLM often. I looked up her Instagram and Twitter where she regularly posts commissioned porn, her less than mediocre furry art, and whines about how much highschool sucked because nobody liked her (for obvious reasons). In middle school, she joined my friend group while we were going through stupid pre-teen drama. It ended with all of us breaking off (except her and me) in Freshman year where she cut her hair "like a lesbian" (her words), then identifying as ace, then nonbinary, and now trans. Like clockwork. I only liked her cause she was rich and kinda funny, at first. Now, she's just preachy and annoying. I cut her off before highschool ended.

B: Met her through a mutual friend. Bonded over art, disliking our home life, and being 'bisexual' (i.e. scared of heterosexual relationships, but never dated women). She was just an edgy emo kid with mommy issues (who is both likely on the spectrum and admitted to being molested when she was younger), but always talked of dysphoria. I really didn't know how to react to this but everyone else was taking her seriously so I thought I would. That "dysphoria" amounted to the fact that she didn't like her boobs, she didn't like her period, and she didn't like the way creepy men looked at her (something that we all related to because we are all women). She changed her name, started dressing more "masculine", turned her fur-sona (also a furry, atheistic communist ) into an edgy cat-boy, and told all the guys who were attracted to her that they were actually gay. I really didn't see her in any masculine way she's a very petite person with a very feminine voice. However, she plans on starting hormones soon since she's 18 and getting the chop. I am absolutely terrified of what will happen to her. I don't know what to do because unlike A she's still in my friend group. In fact, she's one of my best friends and her influence has caused my other best friend to identify as "she/they" (she is also ADHD, paranoid, and likely on the spectrum, too). I actually care about them both as a people and I'm so fucking scared. I don't know what to do, I can't bring this up because they'll both call me "transphobic" and cut me off. We've been through hell together, but she got mad at me for saying that being "non-binary" doesn't make sense. She was also molested by A (who later claimed B raped her), yet respects the "they/them" pronouns B uses. I don't know what to do. Is it too late for them? Do I have to let them go? I don't want to lose my only friends over something as stupid as fucking "gender".

A common reason why FTMs transition is that they do not like their period or the way that "creepy" men look at them...I guess would it not be easier to take period-stopping treatments like Depovera, or other means, rather than go through damaging and disfiguring medical treatments that come with a whole host of complications?

Also, if an FTM troons out because she does not want unwanted male attention, it seems that as a troon you are still going to get stared at for entirely different reasons. Most people will be able to tell that an FTM is still a woman, but you will be regarded as a walking example of the uncanny valley/sideshow exhibit.

 

[Juju Makes a Man]

A common reason why FTMs transition is that they do not like their period or the way that "creepy" men look at them...I guess would it not be easier to take period-stopping treatments like Depovera, or other means, rather than go through damaging and disfiguring medical treatments that come with a whole host of complications?

Also, if an FTM troons out because she does not want unwanted male attention, it seems that as a troon you are still going to get stared at for entirely different reasons. Most people will be able to tell that an FTM is still a woman, but you will be regarded as a walking example of the uncanny valley/sideshow exhibit.

This is all true and B has even told me this. Yet, she still does it. It's like she's addicted to being weird and edgy (but not controversial) when that was something we all moved past (or were supposed to) after Freshman year. She already has back problems from binding, has been in several abusive relationships before I met her, and she doesn't want to take birth control because "muh dysphoria", but she's fine with taking uterus killing testosterone?? Then again, this friend group also believes BMI is eugenics, the BLM BS, and kinning is "valid". She's also friends with a MTF on Discord, so that's great. I don't know if I should just cut my losses and try to make new friends or if I can still drag her (and in return my best friend) out of this before it's too late. It's sickening that a clearly mentally unwell woman is ruining her future prospects in life for a false hope that being some weird knock-off of a man will save her from the dangers of being female. I'm terrified of what the hormones will do to her already awful mental state. Makes me hate being a woman in this day and age.

P.S. Sorry for the double post

 

[Hepativore]

This is all true and B has even told me this. Yet, she still does it. It's like she's addicted to being weird and edgy (but not controversial) when that was something we all moved past (or were supposed to) after Freshman year. She already has back problems from binding, has been in several abusive relationships before I met her, and she doesn't want to take birth control because "muh dysphoria", but she's fine with taking uterus killing testosterone?? Then again, this friend group also believes BMI is eugenics, the BLM BS, and kinning is "valid". She's also friends with a MTF on Discord, so that's great. I don't know if I should just cut my losses and try to make new friends or if I can still drag her (and in return my best friend) out of this before it's too late. It's sickening that a clearly mentally unwell woman is ruining her future prospects in life for a false hope that being some weird knock-off of a man will save her from the dangers of being female. I'm terrified of what the hormones will do to her already awful mental state. Makes me hate being a woman in this day and age.

P.S. Sorry for the double post

It is just as frightening watching introverted male friends decide to become MTFs just because they think that since they have no interest in sports or other traditional male hobbies that they must be " trans" after being besieged by tranny evangelists on Tumblr and Twitter.

 

[The Emperor Skeksis]

This is all true and B has even told me this. Yet, she still does it. It's like she's addicted to being weird and edgy (but not controversial) when that was something we all moved past (or were supposed to) after Freshman year. She already has back problems from binding, has been in several abusive relationships before I met her, and she doesn't want to take birth control because "muh dysphoria", but she's fine with taking uterus killing testosterone?? Then again, this friend group also believes BMI is eugenics, the BLM BS, and kinning is "valid". She's also friends with a MTF on Discord, so that's great. I don't know if I should just cut my losses and try to make new friends or if I can still drag her (and in return my best friend) out of this before it's too late. It's sickening that a clearly mentally unwell woman is ruining her future prospects in life for a false hope that being some weird knock-off of a man will save her from the dangers of being female. I'm terrified of what the hormones will do to her already awful mental state. Makes me hate being a woman in this day and age.

P.S. Sorry for the double post

I'm sorry you're going through that, that must be really scary. Unfortunately the situation you describe sounds totally stereotypical of how these things go. I'm not sure there is much you can do but stand your ground and let her know she can talk to you if she needs to. You don't have to cut off the friendship if you feel she might still come around, but just make sure to guard your own boundaries. Don't let her influence your behaviour or let her become an emotional leech when things don't go well - that's the point where you really should cut her off. If watching her hurt herself is starting to make you feel depressed or anxious, cut her off immediately.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Ok - I don't want to ask something that likely doesn't have an answer. But how much is the possibility that an AGP coomee weeb troon will eventually back off?

The possibility exists. There must be more people snapping out that we can even see. I would still keep my expectations low, even if he snaps back trooning people burn a lot of bridges and embarass themselves before the euphoria dies down, still the best course is to keep a healthy distance and hope for the least worst scenario.

Speaking of which, you might have known this guy as "el Goblino de genero"






When you read detrans posts the stories are always about trauma, insecurities, autism, deppression and coomer fetishes, when you type detrans on reddit search bar the first posts are always troons moking them and screaming transfobia at detransers, same on twitter. The hivemind is trying to contain it but there are more and more each day.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Isn't it funny how, now he's dropped the pretence, he's gone from la creatura to a homely, but relatively normal looking man? Makes me wonder what sort of chasers were giving him compliments before.