Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Johan Schmidt]

My second youngest cousin has started down the FTM path. Parents are horrified, hers and mine. The reason is actually pretty dammed obvious. She's the second youngest of a family of four; with three other girls and a younger brother. My aunt and uncle kept trying for a boy, and each time they got a girl. Obviously they love them, there's no abuse going on. But the boy was born about a year after she was, and her childhood was effectively suborned by my male cousin, because he's the 'precious boy' they always wanted. She has no real identity of her own, her older sisters are much older than her, and everything has always been about her brother.

It's genuinely sad as fuck to see. About the only good thing going on, is my aunt and uncle literally clawing away the concept of HRT from her, every day they have to convince her to 'wait and see', 'see how she feels in a few weeks' and other stuff like that. But it's a delaying action, there's another tranny at her school that she hangs out with, and her friends are typical tranny handmaids, loving the attention that the school gives her. I just wanna sit her down, and slap some sense into her.

 

[Aunt Carol]

My aunt and uncle kept trying for a boy, and each time they got a girl. Obviously they love them, there's no abuse going on. But the boy was born about a year after she was, and her childhood was effectively suborned by my male cousin, because he's the 'precious boy' they always wanted. She has no real identity of her own, her older sisters are much older than her, and everything has always been about her brother.

Do her parents acknowledge this? I wonder if them admitting it and apologizing to her would help prick the trans balloon. Social contagion is playing a part, but they made a fertile bed for it to grow in.

 

[Johan Schmidt]

Do her parents acknowledge this? I wonder if them admitting it and apologizing to her would help prick the trans balloon. Social contagion is playing a part, but they made a fertile bed for it to grow in.

No, my aunt lost a boy quite late in her pregnancy before they had the one they have now. My mother has talked with her about the whole issue with my cousin, but my aunt just gets weepy, and very emotional. Becomes quite unreasonable, and refuses to acknowledge it. My Uncle is off in his own world now, he doesn't really do well with the younger kids (She's 13), and he's much better with the older girls. I hate to say it, but they're just not very good parents. They got so hung up on having a boy, that it's screwed with their daughters head. It's painfully obvious to see it from the outside, but they just deny it's going on.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Makes me wonder what sort of chasers were giving him compliments before.

I don't even want to know what kind of disturbed individual fapped to his crossdressing pictures but could just be the usual tranny groomers lovebombing, they do that in every trans subreddit no matter how ugly the dude posting his picture is, they are always bombarded with overly positive remarks. Like cults, thats how they hook the loveshys

 

[KingElizabeth]

In my very left leaning group of friends.

One former friend who cut himself off from our group was just okay, I'd even go as far as to use the word 'tolerable'. Very autistic, looked like there's some fetal alcohol syndrome going on, a messed up family with an allegedly suicide baiting big sis and a father who recently made the choice to just dip from the entire family for 'no reason at all' leaving behind a house for 'em. I'm guessing losing an expensive home was worth getting away from what the hell is going on inside it. The friend was mostly okay and was capable of keeping the 'tism in check, although unreasonable bouts of anger over stupid shit like tabletop games were not unusual, was pretty unreliable, but despite all of that at one point managed to score a girlfriend as pudgy as himself. The most prominent thing I can remember is always being the victim in every possible situation, the kind of person who'll trigger your empathy and.. pity even, to get what they want.

But hey whatever, I'm no angel either and as long as you can handle the faults of others and they can handle yours, it's all good.

Corona happens, there's no more group gatherings as everyone is terrified, so everyone installs discord and converses online. The guy drops from the face of the earth, only to resurface months later with an announcement that he is in fact transgender, and totes always felt like he was a woman. Also introduces a group of half a dozen brand new friends who just so happen to all be troons, and who are all in one way or another insufferable. The previous difficult but tolerable personality is replaced with an unbelievably preachy attitude, hyper vigilant on policing everyone's language and going on very heated tangents about anything relating to gender. Fights are the norm and treats everyone like shit.
While the our friend group was initially more than willing to welcome the new group he was hanging with, it only took a month for all the goodwill and tolerance to fall apart, and he self ejected from everyone's life except for the trannies he now hangs out with. It was incredible to see how a guy you've known for some years change so much just by being exposed to a bunch of discord troons in a matter of months.

Second friend, same group, a pretty meek and overall incredibly average woman, very non confrontational, but very kind and tolerating to a fault. As basic as you can get. On top of every current thing hashtag lgbt hashtag blm hashtag 3rd dose of vaxx hashtag ukraine and now hashtag my body my choice. Pays lip service to everything woke and beyond but never really seemed to act on it. Very difficult childhood and beyond. Loves the punk, skater, and tomboy aesthetic way way beyond the age where you should have outgrown it. Known her for over half my life and we're good friends. Hangs out among the woke crowd both online and in person.
Recently during a visit 'comes out' that she is in fact genderfluid. I barely manage to ask 'how's what you're saying any different from just liking to dress like a tomboy, or just cross dressing in general', the next ten minutes she goes on a tangent how it was totes there all along it's just nobody could see it and she totes herself didn't know what it all meant back then, being a tomboy kid wasn't just a phase and some days she 'feels' masculine and some days she feels feminine and thanks the stunning and brave people who have opened her eyes to who she truly is. And also her telling me this was a.. 'purity test' to see if I'm a good friend..? For as long as I have known her there is not a single drop of anything masculine within this person, neither physically nor personality wise. Starts posting tangents about being genderfluid in every online space, the difficulties of procuring men's clothes that would fit her, etc. It sounds like a fashion label someone is exposed to and now desperately hooked onto trying to be 'different'. I'm having flashbacks of teenagers going through an emo phase. I know for sure there's nothing I can say that'll change her mind, all I can really do is sit and wait to see if it's a momentary insanity or if she'll in a few years decide to chop her boobs off.

There's one more person when it comes to actual, real life friends, but maybe another time. There's also half a dozen online friends who've I talked to for years who also degenerated hard in one way or another. It's a cult. A cult of groomers that preys on the weak, unhappy, vulnerable, easily manipulated, mentally ill, or retarded. It seems prolonged exposure to this cult brings out the worst in people, in every single case a friend who I've known or thought I knew becomes seemingly unhappier, interests in other subjects fade as all conversation is about gender, lgbt, or any other shit related to the woke crowd or the 'current thing' and they themselves as people become angrier, unreasonable, inconsiderate and flat out unpleasant to deal with.
Don't fall for the 'I can change him' meme, it's ridiculously hard to convince even a good friend that maybe this isn't a good path to travel especially if they're already neck deep in it and have others religiously encouraging it. It's an easy way out and perpetual addictive victimhood.
Unless you know for good that they can come around, I'll echo what others have said in this thread; if it personally causes you a depressed mood or hardship, the best way to go about it is to cut them off. At the very least, temper yourself mentally and detach yourself emotionally from their well being so their self destructive habits do not affect you as well.

 

[Rich Evans Ayypologist]

I don't know if I should just cut my losses and try to make new friends or if I can still drag her (and in return my best friend) out of this before it's too late.

You sound kindof young. You'll wind up cutting a lot of people out of your life as you go along, like or not, because of drugs, them turning into shitheads, and realizing that humans aren't really made to have wide 'social networks' that mostly serve as drains on their time and enthusiasm. It's not really your job to save the individual, and while it isn't necessarily a given that they'll become a cumbersome burden through the transition... well, it's not something to bet the farm on, much less a dollar.

It may come off as callous to be ready to cut old friends out, but that's a perspective that only exists among folks who've never had someone turn into a junkie on them. Often, the troon shit has the same effect - it's draining, they constantly try to siphon people's attention and pity, plenty of 'em wind up unable to hold onto a job and thus try to browbeat folks into givin' 'em cash - again, who knows? Maybe they'll somehow really be enthused and served well by it. But if it's a drain, drop it. Drains exploit savior complexes and inexplicable sensations of obligation the same way.

Isn't it funny how, now he's dropped the pretence, he's gone from la creatura to a homely, but relatively normal looking man?

I'm baffled why he didn't just go gay. Imagine that guy in some goofy shades and cracking wise - if he learns to be funny and charismatic, he basically already fits a gay archetype of the awkward-looking but entertaining dude. Those sure do a hell of a lot better than the it's ma'am crowd.

 

[Gingervitis]

The possibility exists. There must be more people snapping out that we can even see. I would still keep my expectations low, even if he snaps back trooning people burn a lot of bridges and embarass themselves before the euphoria dies down, still the best course is to keep a healthy distance and hope for the least worst scenario.

Speaking of which, you might have known this guy as "el Goblino de genero"

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When you read detrans posts the stories are always about trauma, insecurities, autism, deppression and coomer fetishes, when you type detrans on reddit search bar the first posts are always troons moking them and screaming transfobia at detransers, same on twitter. The hivemind is trying to contain it but there are more and more each day.

I thought this guy had a history of detransing and transing several times.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

I thought this guy had a history of detransing and transing several times.

That would be sad. Maybe he has a reddit karma addiction.

Browsing ths sub a bit most of the posts seem to be made by women coming back from Ftm. Wonder what the overall trend is.

 

[Waifuwars]

That would be sad. Maybe he has a reddit karma addiction.

Browsing ths sub a bit most of the posts seem to be made by women coming back from Ftm. Wonder what the overall trend is.

Women detransitioning makes more sense if you consider that the potential risks associated with being a ftm is much greater than mtf. You'll never be as strong as real men and, considering that avoiding male attention is a reason many transition, it's like dressing a sheep up as a wolf and sending it into a den of wolves.

I once knew a mtf tranny who started off as a chubby kid but got his shit together and became incredibly active and skinny once he started college. Our friendship kinda fell off since we went to different schools but I found out he transitioned via Facebook and was constantly begging for money. Turns out he would spend everything on designer clothes and then turn to beg once he couldn't pay rent. Of course, he posted a lot about communism and "capitalism bad". It's comical how stereotypical he became.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Women detransitioning makes more sense if you consider that the potential risks associated with being a ftm is much greater than mtf. You'll never be as strong as real men and, considering that avoiding male attention is a reason many transition, it's like dressing a sheep up as a wolf and sending it into a den of wolves.

From what i read it used to be more men than women would troon but in recent years following the mainstream promotion ftm numbers skyrocketed. Women are more likely to cosplay with different identities for a fad , young women follow and drop trends more easily and with a lot less social repercusions too and then there's the body dismosphia aspect of it that gets mistaken for gender disphoria but also like you said, they put themselves in a shitty position, best case scenario they are treated like a dude which most of these yaoi reading girls would absolutely hate and are not prepared for.

 

[Ser Prize]

From what i read it used to be more men than women would troon but in recent years following the mainstream promotion ftm numbers skyrocketed. Women are more likely to cosplay with different identities for a fad , young women follow and drop trends more easily and with a lot less social repercusions too and then there's the body dismosphia aspect of it that gets mistaken for gender disphoria but also like you said, they put themselves in a shitty position, best case scenario they are treated like a dude which most of these yaoi reading girls would absolutely hate and are not prepared for.

I see way more ftm than mtf these days, and in a way I saw it coming. Stuff like the obsession with 'crossplaying' and androgyny.

 

[snake aids]

My second youngest cousin has started down the FTM path. Parents are horrified, hers and mine. The reason is actually pretty dammed obvious. She's the second youngest of a family of four; with three other girls and a younger brother. My aunt and uncle kept trying for a boy, and each time they got a girl. Obviously they love them, there's no abuse going on. But the boy was born about a year after she was, and her childhood was effectively suborned by my male cousin, because he's the 'precious boy' they always wanted. She has no real identity of her own, her older sisters are much older than her, and everything has always been about her brother.

It's genuinely sad as fuck to see. About the only good thing going on, is my aunt and uncle literally clawing away the concept of HRT from her, every day they have to convince her to 'wait and see', 'see how she feels in a few weeks' and other stuff like that. But it's a delaying action, there's another tranny at her school that she hangs out with, and her friends are typical tranny handmaids, loving the attention that the school gives her. I just wanna sit her down, and slap some sense into her.

Jesus, I wish you luck. Really really hope she just drops this retarded shit before its too late. I'm sorry you have to see this shit happen

 

[Johan Schmidt]

Jesus, I wish you luck. Really really hope she just drops this retarded shit before its too late. I'm sorry you have to see this shit happen

Thanks mate. We're all hoping she just grows out of it. My moms made an effort to invite them all out for weekend holidays, doing shit like camping, or just going to the beach; with no phones and no internet for two days at a time. To sort of try and detox her from all the internet weirdos that she's no doubt talking to. Hoping that it might help a little.

 

[snake aids]

Thanks mate. We're all hoping she just grows out of it. My moms made an effort to invite them all out for weekend holidays, doing shit like camping, or just going to the beach; with no phones and no internet for two days at a time. To sort of try and detox her from all the internet weirdos that she's no doubt talking to. Hoping that it might help a little.

Definitely a good idea for her to stay off the internet, worked for me when I was going through a short tranny phase. Really hope it works out.

 

[Help Me Move This Table]

Thanks mate. We're all hoping she just grows out of it. My moms made an effort to invite them all out for weekend holidays, doing shit like camping, or just going to the beach; with no phones and no internet for two days at a time. To sort of try and detox her from all the internet weirdos that she's no doubt talking to. Hoping that it might help a little.

Marine biology, birdwatching, moss collecting, surfing, botanical sketching…the good news is there are a billion healthy things to autistically fixate on that will not only give her an identity (dolphin expert, budding artist) she can also learn to think outside of herself and engage with the wider universe outside of her family. Your mom’s doing the exact right thing, if she shows an inch of interest in anything decent, encourage her to take it on.

 

[Snack Cracker]

My ex boyfriends keep trooning out and it makes me question most of what’s happened in my life.

Always thought it was nice to be cool and accepting with guys and their sexuality until I learned that bisexual seems to be code for “will willingly wear wear women’s underwear and fuck trannies”.

Almost ended up a trans widow but thank fuck he waited until we were divorced to take the plunge and become the ugliest goddamn woman I’ve seen.

If I wasn’t already married there would be a whole host of “red flag” checklists I’d have to go through with men.
Anime, being coom brained, liking “feeling pretty”, anime, autism.
Also a nice tip: tell any man you’re serious about that if you get married, he will be a buried as a male with a male name on his tombstone.

That seems to work well to weed things out.

 

[fuknhek]

Does losing authors to transgenderism count in this thread? Because every new book I've read in the past year HAS to have someone with they/them pronouns. In sci-fi and fantasy, like maybe I could squint and pretend it's justified. But I just read a goddamn KIDS book with a they/thembie in it. By a megapopular author too. Fuck's sake. All I can do is maybe write a letter to the author or publisher. But that feels as effective as farting in the wind.

This. Fucking. Bullshit.

I can't wait until we get to the point where we look back at this this way some people look back on dirty hippies. Like it's real cool until you can smell the mental illness, dependence on drugs, and lack of hygiene.

 

[Madame Souza]

You guys, my best friend just told me her 10/11 year old (I don’t know how old exactly but in that range, definitely under 13) nephew wants “she/her pronouns” and a new name and I just truly cannot. I mean first of all, what do I even say in response? She knows where I’m at on this, in general at least, but told me in a neutral way that wasn’t alluding to how fucked I think the whole thing is, but ew, dudes.
He’s a little fucking kid who’s been told things are possible that are not and I can’t.
And from what she’s told me he’s a little awkward and on the small side for his age, I haven’t spend enough time around him to armchair diagnose him as autistic but it kinda fits from what I’ve heard, and I really have not a single positive thing I can think to say.
His parents are primo bad-decision makers, I could totally see them jumping wholeheartedly on the trans-kid train and giving him blockers or whatever stupid shit, too.
Ugh.

 

[Vingle]

His parents are primo bad-decision makers

Wouldn't this make them easier for you to micro-manage them to take the right decisions? I mean, it's not your responsibility. But it sound like you care about the kid.

 

[Ser Prize]

Does losing authors to transgenderism count in this thread? Because every new book I've read in the past year HAS to have someone with they/them pronouns. In sci-fi and fantasy, like maybe I could squint and pretend it's justified. But I just read a goddamn KIDS book with a they/thembie in it. By a megapopular author too. Fuck's sake. All I can do is maybe write a letter to the author or publisher. But that feels as effective as farting in the wind.

This. Fucking. Bullshit.

I can't wait until we get to the point where we look back at this this way some people look back on dirty hippies. Like it's real cool until you can smell the mental illness, dependence on drugs, and lack of hygiene.

I've debated starting a "non woke reading" club to help with this shit, because fuck if it isn't a problem.