r/polyamory

Potatis Salad · Jul 4, 2022

Chromeo said:
What is a "cake eater?"

A "cake eater" refers to "having your cake and eating it too." It's someone who is in a happy marriage, having sex with their spouse, and has an extramarital affair anyway.

Fapcop · Jul 4, 2022

Mr. Skeltal said:
I've also known a couple of stable marriages where the man is the younger spouse. Hell, I technically fall into that category. Mrs. Skeltal is several months my senior and it will never cease being funny to call her a cradle-robber. Functionally we're peers though and both have similar formatove memories and experiences. The trend of men marrying women around a decade their junior is rather old fashioned but the inverse isn't getting any more common to my knowledge. A 25 year old man would be well advised to take extra caution if thinking about marrying a woman in her mid 30's.

Regarding polyamory, the old knowledge gets thrown out the window. Adding to an existing marriage is poison. There's a reason why such lifestyles can get rather volatile. Lots of jealousy to go around.
It's grimly amusing watching the spouse opening the relationship with intent to whore around get utterly ruined when the spouse they badgered into it ends up being more successful and bonding with one of their extramarital lovers. Men who do it are coom-brained pornsick weirdos and the women are manipulative, opportunistic whores.

From what I’ve seen in polyamory spaces, (cucks and polys kind of fascinated me for a while) the kind of men who go into it (as opposed to the coombrains who encourage it) fall into three categories.

1: The sad cuck.
Already henpecked and thoroughly beaten into submission, he’ll shrug and go along out of fear of being cheated on/left. In some cases it takes a little extra badgering, but eventually he’ll “agree”. The sad cuck will either end up in an actual poly marriage, or just as likely, be dumped the minute his wife falls for a man with no interest in sharing.

2: The cake eating cuck.
Average horny dude who might have led his eyes wander a few times, but never cheated. Faced with a poly-marriage these dudes think they found a cheat code to getting pussy en masse, and enthusiastically agree. They quickly find out that polyamory for men is the equivalent of a pussy pyramid scheme. It sounds great in theory. In reality, they end up sitting watching Netflix every weekend, while the wife is getting nailed. After a few months (or years) they get tired of this, realize that their wife pulled a fast one, and either close the marriage or divorce.

3: The intellectual cuck.
This is the one you usually find on Reddit. He thinks he’s smarter than everyone else, and throws himself into “their” (well, her) project with gusto. He reads all the books, gets to learn all the lingo (“hinges”, “Vs”) and posts long winded posts about how enlightened the whole concept is.
(And how enlightened of a man he is, for sperging on Reddit while his “primary” gets plowed.)

Most of the time, they find out that it’s great in theory but is a lot of goddamn effort for a small reward of smugness. The marriage for all practical purposes gets closed, but they keep posting and calling themselves “poly” because they visit swinger clubs occasionally.

Mr. Skeltal · Jul 4, 2022

Fapcop said:
From what I’ve seen in polyamory spaces, (cucks and polys kind of fascinated me for a while) the kind of men who go into it (as opposed to the coombrains who encourage it) fall into three categories.

1: The sad cuck.
Already henpecked and thoroughly beaten into submission, he’ll shrug and go along out of fear of being cheated on/left. In some cases it takes a little extra badgering, but eventually he’ll “agree”. The sad cuck will either end up in an actual poly marriage, or just as likely, be dumped the minute his wife falls for a man with no interest in sharing.

2: The cake eating cuck.
Average horny dude who might have led his eyes wander a few times, but never cheated. Faced with a poly-marriage these dudes think they found a cheat code to getting pussy en masse, and enthusiastically agree. They quickly find out that polyamory for men is the equivalent of a pussy pyramid scheme. It sounds great in theory. In reality, they end up sitting watching Netflix every weekend, while the wife is getting nailed. After a few months (or years) they get tired of this, realize that their wife pulled a fast one, and either close the marriage or divorce.

3: The intellectual cuck.
This is the one you usually find on Reddit. He thinks he’s smarter than everyone else, and throws himself into “their” (well, her) project with gusto. He reads all the books, gets to learn all the lingo (“hinges”, “Vs”) and posts long winded posts about how enlightened the whole concept is.
(And how enlightened of a man he is, for sperging on Reddit while his “primary” gets plowed.)

Most of the time, they find out that it’s great in theory but is a lot of goddamn effort for a small reward of smugness. The marriage for all practical purposes gets closed, but they keep posting and calling themselves “poly” because they visit swinger clubs occasionally.

Of all of those I'd guess that the "intellectual cuck" is more apt to be the pornsick type that I'm thinking about.
You can pity the henpecked man and empathize with the cake-eater (a man who should've known better), but the smug intellectual ones deserve scorn.

Fapcop · Jul 4, 2022

ArchibaldDevereauxIII said:
This is a ripe opportunity for CowCrossover: several months ago, Brittany from Politically Provoked pitted Dalton Clodfelter against some quasi-intellectual cuck during an IBS-style "debate." The cuck's name is Flausny and he perfectly fits your description above. Here is the lolmilk: https://www.bitchute.com/video/h66-jimq_zU/

THANK YOU FOR THAT SWEET MILK!

Just 5 minutes in and I’m already LOLing at the cuck reading aloud from his little pre written script.

Comments: “Did your wife’s bull help write it?!”

I can already tell I’m in for a treat!

Dafrunk89 · Jul 4, 2022

Poor bastard had a painful realization. He deleted it quickly, but here it is.

Comments were sane, telling him to end it (the 'relationship', not his life)

Why won't my boyfriend talk to me anymore? This being RA, she gets trolled in the comments.

Another one from RA, where a comment section cuck tries to convince OP to...be a cuck.

Fapcop · Jul 4, 2022

Dafrunk89 said:
Poor bastard had a painful realization. He deleted it quickly, but here it is.
View attachment 3456181
Comments were sane, telling him to end it (the 'relationship', not his life)

Why won't my boyfriend talk to me anymore? This being RA, she gets trolled in the comments.
View attachment 3456206 View attachment 3456207

Another one from RA, where a comment section cuck tries to convince OP to...be a cuck.
View attachment 3456215 View attachment 3456218

LOLOLOL!

Absolute legend OP!

“I think we should try an open relationship for a bit so I eh I mean we can explore other people!”

“You’re right! We’ve been together since 20 and never slept around. Let’s break up.”

“NOOO! Not like that! I want strange dick AND you as a backup!”

Larry David's Opera Cape · Jul 4, 2022

People who get into solid, long-lasting relationships in their early 20s have something good. It is something that should be valued, treasured, and protected. Their peers and elders should support them in learning and growing within the relationship. The relationship will one day be the most important investment they ever made.

Repeat this over and over again to every zoomer you meet until the boomerism that you need to have a "shop around and hook up phase" is murdered to death.

Dafrunk89 · Jul 4, 2022

Dafrunk89 said:
How to alienate your own child, volume 23913. (Saw this crossposted on r/nonmonogamy)

View attachment 3436599

But hey, at least you got to fuck around with some asshole your son went to high school with.

We have an update. The guy is posting this everywhere again, and they often get locked or deleted.

Play stupid games, win crippling loneliness when your own child doesn't want to deal with you, continue playing stupid games.

Larry David's Opera Cape · Jul 4, 2022

Dafrunk89 said:
We have an update. The guy is posting this everywhere again, and they often get locked or deleted.
View attachment 3456506 View attachment 3456509
Play stupid games, win crippling loneliness when your own child doesn't want to deal with you, continue playing stupid games.

Oof. He will be better off with a lot of distance between himself and those loons, but it has to hurt.

AMHOLIO · Jul 4, 2022

Mr. Skeltal said:
Hell, I technically fall into that category. Mrs. Skeltal is several months my senior and it will never cease being funny to call her a cradle-robber.

This means a skeleton named Mr. Skeltal is robbing the grave.

Dafrunk89 said:
Play stupid games, win crippling loneliness when your own child doesn't want to deal with you, continue playing stupid games.

I'm proud of him. Like Larry David's Opera Cape said, that's got to hurt like a bitch. It's better if he makes calls in his life like that and I sympathize with his pain.

Mr. Skeltal · Jul 4, 2022

Larry David's Opera Cape said:
People who get into solid, long-lasting relationships in their early 20s have something good. It is something that should be valued, treasured, and protected. Their peers and elders should support them in learning and growing within the relationship. The relationship will one day be the most important investment they ever made.

Repeat this over and over again to every zoomer you meet until the boomerism that you need to have a "shop around and hook up phase" is murdered to death.

I agree that marriages built when a couple is young can and should be encouraged. It's good for the soul, society, and the economy. Sleeping around shouldn't be encouraged but understood as an unfortunate reality.
What shouldn't be encouraged are alternative lifestyles that leave piles of human wreckage in their wake for the sake of a quick nut.

We live in a post-modern society. I can only hope for the day when we live in a post-nut one.

Dafrunk89 said:
We have an update. The guy is posting this everywhere again, and they often get locked or deleted.
View attachment 3456506 View attachment 3456509
Play stupid games, win crippling loneliness when your own child doesn't want to deal with you, continue playing stupid games.

It's painful to read that from the perspective of a man who had a happy childhood and maintains a good relationship with his parents in adulthood, but those parents won a very stupid and richly deserved prize. The only time you should ever cast off your children is if they commit some kind of heinous crime.
Doing it for sloppy sex with your child's peers is detestable.

AMHOLIO said:
This means a skeleton named Mr. Skeltal is robbing the grave.

Indeed I am.

The Taco Santo! · Jul 4, 2022

Back when I was a teenager, a guy I was friends with had an affair with one of my classmates' mother. It was very sad, he caught them in bed together at least once and a fistfight was involved. It really blighted the lives of everyone involved. She ended up divorced and ostracized socially, her son ended up a very angry and self-destructive man, and my friend has never married or had any truly deep and lasting relationships.

Dafrunk89 · Jul 5, 2022

Gwydion said:
Back when I was a teenager, a guy I was friends with had an affair with one of my classmates' mother. It was very sad, he caught them in bed together at least once and a fistfight was involved. It really blighted the lives of everyone involved. She ended up divorced and ostracized socially, her son ended up a very angry and self-destructive man, and my friend has never married or had any truly deep and lasting relationships.

Fucking hell. Imagine being that kid, coming home from school, hearing strange sounds. Oh man I feel sick.

Someone Who Isn't Me · Jul 5, 2022

The more I read of this subreddit, the more it seems these people are trying awfully hard to convince themselves that polyamory is the one true way. As they experience it for themselves and understandably feel jealousy at the prospect of their partners dating or loving someone else, they still go through the mental gymnastics to convince themselves it is a problem with themselves and their perception rather than the fact nobody in their right mind would feel "compersion" over someone they love fucking someone else.

Dafrunk89 · Jul 5, 2022

Someone Who Isn't Me said:
The more I read of this subreddit, the more it seems these people are trying awfully hard to convince themselves that polyamory is the one true way. As they experience it for themselves and understandably feel jealousy at the prospect of their partners dating or loving someone else, they still go through the mental gymnastics to convince themselves it is a problem with themselves and their perception rather than the fact nobody in their right mind would feel "compersion" over someone they love fucking someone else.

I agree, although they're less fanatic about "poly being the true way". A lot of them don't detest normal relationship structures, and lately they've been pushing back against people trying to manipulate others into their lifestyle. They call it "poly under duress".

But otherwise it's quite sad. Once people convince themselves that poly is their life no matter what, it's hard to go back. That sub is like a support group for continuous self-inflicted mental harm, where the harm is encouraged. They do relate to each other in how hard it can be but at the same time the dogma must come first so that they can retain the sense of community. There is no getting better or healing, there is only collective circling around the drain. It's no wonder nearly all of them seem to be in therapy (even if they actively seek out therapists who say what they want to hear, so it's not about identifying harmful behavior or trying to get a new perspective).

There are a lot of "I'm so happy about my way of life, and how I'm not following some archaic oppressive normative standards, but...." posts, where they preface their stories with how enlightened/free/full of love they are, and immediately follow it up with how hard, conflicted, needlessly complicated and unfulfilling everything is. You can probably find a few more of those posted in the last couple of days, it's common.

The rest of them are just whores/whoremongers or people who settle because they struggle finding real relationships for whatever reason. A disproportionate amount of them openly claim to have autism, ADHD, personality disorders - and a lot of LGBT too. They complain about unicorn hunters, but the real unicorn is a straight, mentally and physically healthy person who has their shit together.

Amber the Hedgehog · Jul 5, 2022

Larry David's Opera Cape said:
People who get into solid, long-lasting relationships in their early 20s have something good. It is something that should be valued, treasured, and protected. Their peers and elders should support them in learning and growing within the relationship. The relationship will one day be the most important investment they ever made.

Repeat this over and over again to every zoomer you meet until the boomerism that you need to have a "shop around and hook up phase" is murdered to death.

There is difference between you might need look around and grow up a bit before you find someone to settle down with and you need a cock/pussy merry go around. One is normal thing that sometimes need to be pointed out to avoid becoming hopelessness and the other is just moronic.

Not everyone is ready or can find someone by their early twenties but I agree that should be encouraged. That's the time of you are much better at adapting to someone and so have easier time to building a relationship. Young people should be take advantage of that and be happy if they or someone they care about do. Finding your own family later isn't a big negative deal and is a happy thing but dismissal of young love and commitment isn't good.

Fapcop · Jul 5, 2022

Amber the Hedgehog said:
There is difference between you might need look around and grow up a bit before you find someone to settle down with and you need a cock/pussy merry go around. One is normal thing that sometimes need to be pointed out to avoid becoming hopelessness and the other is just moronic.

Not everyone is ready or can find someone by their early twenties but I agree that should be encouraged. That's the time of you are much better at adapting to someone and so have easier time to building a relationship. Young people should be take advantage of that and be happy if they or someone they care about do. Finding your own family later isn't a big negative deal and is a happy thing but dismissal of young love and commitment isn't good.

Word.

Whether you find your life partner i. Your thirties or twenties shouldn’t matter.

What just pisses me off is the ol’ “we got together so young, we never got to who-erm-explore a little!” excuse for whoring around/“opening” the relationship.

Somehow our grandparents and in some cases parents got together when they were young as fuck, stayed together and never had any kind of genital existential crisis because they didn’t plow/get plowed by dozens before marriage.

Dafrunk89 said:
The rest of them are just whores/whoremongers or people who settle because they struggle finding real relationships for whatever reason. A disproportionate amount of them openly claim to have autism, ADHD, personality disorders - and a lot of LGBT too. They complain about unicorn hunters, but the real unicorn is a straight, mentally and physically healthy person who has their shit together.

The poly subreddit, and I assume other “poly spaces” also seems to have been invaded by trender-queers lately.

You know, “asexuals” and “demiromantics” who are straight as f, but think they’re queer because reasons and crave that validation/sense of community.

So you have quite a few straight couples where one is “asexual”, and because they talk about having an open relationship, or because the girl is banging someone on the side, that means they’re “poly”.

And EXTRA queer, because poly is queer too, dontcha know!

Dafrunk89 · Jul 5, 2022

One of the poly therapists had a shitty AMA on r/nonmonogamy a few months back. Said it was about "dispelling myths about non-monogamy" but didn't really get into it as not that many people had questions, and she answered like your average poly redditor without getting into specifics. In the opening post she admits to being in a non-monogamous relationship herself (or at least having personal experience).

Her picture:

She also has a site, and although there isn't much there it's quite blatant what it's about: https://www.kimglenn.com/

These quacks probably saw a niche market and went for it. Not surprising, because poly redditors all seek therapy. Many of them have couples therapy and solo sessions on top of that, and nearly every question/problem in their subreddits is met with "get therapy". Every conversion effort includes therapy as well. Therapy seems to be the most constant thing in their lives and they will happily pay for what they want to hear. There is definitely a market here.

Also, some therapists seem to push poly/troon dating apps. Lol I wonder if some of them get secretly paid for that.

Feeld isn't an adulterous dating app for people, or even folx. It's a dating app for humans.
Humans who can be two-spirit objectumsexuals, for example. They're just like you! Make a profile already you freak.