Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

That requires Josh to have Joe Rogan as a friend. Which, you know, I think that's actually possible these days. All Josh has to do is one weird fuckin' thing, have it blow up, and that'll be it.

Joe's political hot takes are rarely much more thought out than Josh's, that might be a viable route.

 

[Thirteenfifty]

Josh says a lot of shit that he doesn't really mean, especially when it comes to "If X happens, I'm gunna do Y."

Here, I'll give you a good example. Lots of people memory hole this, but Josh has said a handful of times "If I get kicked out of this apartment, if I have to leave, I'll kill myself before I leave." (If someone knows the source, lemme know. I know he said it.) My man is very alive to this day despite his eviction. He'll talk a big game but when he has to face the consequences, he shuts his mouth and does what he's told (Mostly.)

If he had a father that put his fucking foot down consistently throughout his life, he'd easily be going down a different route, but he didn't. He had Clint, who is a male feminist who wears dresses and drinks fucking whey protein in his experimental photography course.

You have a point, but at the same time we're talking about a physically addictive drug here. Cobra has been hard on the liquor for a few years now, drinking daily and ending up drunk before noon half the time, it's pretty much his only hobby asides from E-begging and smoking. His drunken meltdowns have also really increased in frequency and severity over the past year or so.


If Clint did put his foot down and finally force josh to either lose his support or go to AA/rehab to get clean I really believe he would choose the booze and live on the street like couch chris, warlord, and some of his other homeless colleagues. Even if he went to rehab he would feel like shit and probably try to quit in the first few weeks like he did with job core or the various programs Clint tried to put him in when he was younger.


As much as a homeless saga would be interesting I think the content would improve in a major way if he got sober. I'd like to be proven wrong and see Josh quit his daily drinking but he's really far down the road to alchoholism.

I don't get how drunks do it. The few times I've been truly hungover the idea of drinking any form of alcohol makes me want to projectile vomit. It's waking up after poisoning yourself and taking more poison to ease the feeling of being poisoned.

After a certain point you aren't really drinking to feel drunk, you're drinking to avoid the really fucked up withdrawals/hangovers which can kill you or give you seizures (this only happens if you're a hardcore alchoholic). An alchoholic at a certain point has to drink to survive, and they feel like shit 24/7 because they are literally poisoning themselves daily, but quitting feels worse.

 

[Bixby Snyder]

After a certain point you aren't really drinking to feel drunk, you're drinking to avoid the really fucked up withdrawals/hangovers which can kill you or give you seizures (this only happens if you're a hardcore alchoholic)

Nah, you are drinking to get fucking drunk. When you get to the alcoholic point you are chasing being drunk and keeping away withdrawals is literally just a side effect. I knew the shit was poison but man, I knew after a pull or two I’d be in that nice drunk sweet spot.

Fat fucks are the same way. Sure they may get hungry because they are used to eating constantly but the truth is they just like fucking eating

 

[Elbow Greased Strength]

If Clint did put his foot down and finally force josh to either lose his support or go to AA/rehab to get clean I really believe he would choose the booze and live on the street like couch chris, warlord, and some of his other homeless colleagues. Even if he went to rehab he would feel like shit and probably try to quit in the first few weeks like he did with job core or the various programs Clint tried to put him in when he was younger.

It'd never work. The only person who can fix or improve the situation is Josh himself...if he doesn't want to, all the coercion in the world won't do anything.

That's why so many of these drug rehabs and other treatment programs are a complete scam, they force people to go to them and pay enormous amounts of money (either out-of-pocket, through insurance or the state) and unsurprisingly absolutely nothing changes once they get out because the motivation to change was never there to begin with.

 

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

If Clint did put his foot down and finally force josh to either lose his support or go to AA/rehab to get clean I really believe he would choose the booze and live on the street like couch chris, warlord, and some of his other homeless colleagues.

He absolutely would. He'd be pissy about it initially because of the loss of constant free food deliveries, but he'd very quickly adapt to it as his entire social circle is drifters to begin with.

 

[Thirteenfifty]

It'd never work. The only person who can fix or improve the situation is Josh himself...if he doesn't want to, all the coercion in the world won't do anything.

That's why so many of these drug rehabs and other treatment programs are a complete scam, they force people to go to them and pay enormous amounts of money (either out-of-pocket, through insurance or the state) and unsurprisingly absolutely nothing changes once they get out because the motivation to change was never there to begin with.

I know a few people who went to rehab and they've stayed clean for a decade or more, mind you they went when they were below the age of 20 and weren't hooked on coke or liquor for longer than 2 years. It all depends on if they want to get clean, and you're right that Josh doesn't want to.

 

[Bixby Snyder]

He absolutely would. He'd be pissy about it initially because of the loss of constant free food deliveries, but he'd very quickly adapt to it as his entire social circle is drifters to begin with.

Have to disagree.

Josh ALWAYS chooses the path of least resistance and has no staying power or backbone. Living on the streets would be too much for him, especially if there is an option to live comfortably again. He never goes through with anything, faces any serious consequences for being a piece of shit, and generally skating by has been a mainstay of his adult life. He may say he would live on the streets but nothing about him to this point suggests he would go through with it, let alone just shrug his shoulders and live under a bridge with the other ragmen.

Plus, Clint has a lot more control over Cobes than he is given credit for. Where do you think the new five o'clock to drink rule comes from? His bullshit sayings about his trolls being miserable so they gotta fuck with him? They are literally what your parents tell you when being teased at school, difference is they are being repeated by a 31-year-old. Not to mention all the other little hints that Clint and him talk all the time about his problems and how to deal with them ('waiting patiently' is a good example).

I hate going over 'Clint can save him' bullshit again but I think Daddy Nips has a lot more options than he is exercising.

If his little boy gets into some trouble that can't be ignored, or even worse seeps into his life -- we will see him take action. Until then, he will tell the little boglim to Keep on Rockin' and being the fucking weirdo he is. Until then, he will never ultimatum him but when he does Josh will snivel and whine like the mentally aged teenager he is -- but he will go.

 

[Clint's Burden]

If Clint did put his foot down and finally force josh to either lose his support or go to AA/rehab to get clean I really believe he would choose the booze and live on the street like couch chris, warlord, and some of his other homeless colleagues. Even if he went to rehab he would feel like shit and probably try to quit in the first few weeks like he did with job core or the various programs Clint tried to put him in when he was younger.

It's not terribly difficult for Clint to sit down and say:

"Josh, I love you, but your life is self-destructive. It hurts me to watch you slowly kill yourself because you're my only son and you mean the world to me. I'm not going to sit by and watch this happen any longer, so you have two choices in this matter. You can go to rehab and finish it....or you can consider yourself no longer part of this family. No family trips, no gatherings, no weekly groceries, no lending money for weed when you need it, no P.O box trips, no more handling your finances, no more pulling you out of a shitty scenario you manufacture every month, no more. I'll support you making wands because it's a good hobby, I'll support you doing your internet thing because it gives you purpose, but I'm not supporting your slow suicide. Get your shit together, I want an answer by this evening."

Do that. Try that, try it once, just to say you TRIED and I know it's not been tried yet because Josh would've been stomping his feet about it on a livestream. This is what a father does when he actually cares about his son, as opposed to just ignoring a problem and waiting for it to solve itself. Something Josh clearly learned from Clint.

Edit: I know some people might climb up my ass about calling Clint a shitty father, but jesus christ, he's got a mentally retarded son who's an alcoholic. Make some moves beyond ignoring it and taking him to Olive Garden.

 

[Sopsy]

I know this discussion happens again and again not just itt but every autistic cow's thread but at some point it's just not worth spending half your life and all your sanity just so your special little boy can peak at working at walmart. Should Clint do more? Probably but it's not as easy when the mom isn't in the picture and he has another family. There's a difference between busting Josh's ass for an hour to "fix" him and dealing with his shit for over 30 years, I can't deal with a tardraging kid for 20 minutes if it were me Josh would be Mike and he'd a have a new family at age 3.

 

[Elbow Greased Strength]

Do that. Try that, try it once, just to say you TRIED and I know it's not been tried yet because Josh would've been stomping his feet about it on a livestream. This is what a father does when he actually cares about his son, as opposed to just ignoring a problem and waiting for it to solve itself. Something Josh clearly learned from Clint.

Edit: I know some people might climb up my ass about calling Clint a shitty father, but jesus christ, he's got a mentally retarded son who's an alcoholic. Make some moves beyond ignoring it and taking him to Olive Garden.

I get the impression that Clint did try in the past but realized it just wasn't working. Wasting your time, emotions and money on a Sisyphean task that just drains you is bad enough, and I expect even if Clint did Josh would just say "GFY" and cut contact. It's even worse for Clint in this situation as his other children are doing completely fine.

If Josh started getting into hard drugs, trouble with the law or was getting evicted again I think things would be different. For now it's best to treat him with kid gloves and keep him happy at family gatherings. From personal experience I can say this is exactly how it's handled.

 

[Bogliacci]

Bitesize's Chazz vid really brings back memories of how fucking boring his antics were

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Bitesize's Chazz vid really brings back memories of how fucking boring his antics were

I was completely checked out of the cobraverse in 2020 when the whole chazz thing happened and watched bitesized's video and was thoroughly underwhelmed. Imagine how many hours Chazz dedicated to his mania induced gayops to get maybe 15 mins of smug cobra in return. He literally got ten times more angry at his own hat in a drunken stupor then Chazz lying to him about the voice acting gig.

 

[Bogliacci]

I was completely checked out of the cobraverse in 2020 when the whole chazz thing happened and watched bitesized's video and was thoroughly underwhelmed. Imagine how many hours Chazz dedicated to his mania induced gayops to get maybe 15 mins of smug cobra in return. He literally got ten times more angry at his own hat in a drunken stupor then Chazz lying to him about the voice acting gig.

Just another day in the cobraverse for our boy

 

[Potion_Time]

I was completely checked out of the cobraverse in 2020 when the whole chazz thing happened and watched bitesized's video and was thoroughly underwhelmed. Imagine how many hours Chazz dedicated to his mania induced gayops to get maybe 15 mins of smug cobra in return. He literally got ten times more angry at his own hat in a drunken stupor then Chazz lying to him about the voice acting gig.

This is why I hate the glass tappers, when Josh is left to his own devices, he will be entertaining. When trolls try to get him to do things he doesn't want to do, he won't and the best reaction you'll get is pouting and maybe a responce video.

The magic of the cobraverse is in its characters and the situations they find themselves in. For all of Chazz's attempts to troll cobra none of it was as funny as when cobes uploaded a video of him just breaking plates in the middle of a random field in Wyoming with zero context with his posse of tards, degenerates, and addicts. Cobes is the clown. Let him be in the circus.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

 

[charlesdickens]

That requires Josh to have Joe Rogan as a friend. Which, you know, I think that's actually possible these days. All Josh has to do is one weird fuckin' thing, have it blow up, and that'll be it.

Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance is one of Joe Rogan's cousins and he also watches Josh. He bought one of the tapes a while ago and follows him on Instagram.

 

[Robert w'E'd Leef]

A new doc from Bitesize streamed last night apparently

 

[Bixby Snyder]

Josh doesn’t come here (too many words, not enough pictures).

But what are the chances Clint has graced us with his presence?

 

[Potion_Time]

Josh doesn’t come here (too many words, not enough pictures).

But what are the chances Clint has graced us with his presence?

If I had to guess, probably not. It seems like when Clint decides to see what the trolls are up to he can't help but respond and "explain" the situations that Josh finds himself in. Which of course is always handwaving away his poor behavior which is why we got the wonderful phrase "He's doing the best he can everyday".

Keep on rockin on, Josh!

 

[DrNow]

I was thinking how it's a dream of mine to meet Warlord. I'd come up with a separate personality that is carefully constructed in advance, where I'm more obnoxious than him and outdo all of his bullshit stories with even more inventive bullshit. I'd pretend to be heavily into D&D and talk over him about D&D lore every time he tries talking about some fictional sexual encounter, I'd make everything he comes out with seem lame and unremarkable with bombastic claims of wild orgies and winning fights against multiple opponents. I'd wear one of those corny shirts with a skeleton giving the middle finger and belittle Warlord at every opportunity.

When Cobes talked I'd just listen politely and express admiration for whatever he has to say.