Grand Jury speculation thread

[Spergichu]

Poor Ralph is gonna be stuck with Chris' old demon for a while now. Maybe he's gonna try to get arrested and sent to the same jail as Chris to give him back the demon.

 

[Sneedmiser]

Poor Ralph is gonna be stuck with Chris' old demon for a while now. Maybe he's gonna try to get arrested and sent to the same jail as Chris to give him back the demon.

Ralph's strategy for the demon seems to be trying to produce a proper heir he can pawn it off onto, hence why he was upset at ReRollRozy.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Thinking ahead, Chris spending a few years in prison is better than a lifetime of homelessness. Who knows, they may make Chris do work: he could be making your next license plate.

 

[MarineN*423543]

I called and got proof for you fellow Kiwis

https://www.dropbox.com/s/593p8d02rvx6xra/Chris%20Chan%20Proof.mp3?dl=0

points for the liquid chris voice attempt

 

[️ronic]

Thinking ahead, Chris spending a few years in prison is better than a lifetime of homelessness. Who knows, they may make Chris do work: he could be making your next license plate.

Soon, we'll all be driving SON-CHUs.

 

[Mason Verger]

And a nice after credits scene involving a homeless saga after his release.

And that’s the other nice ribbon on the saga, if he does get multiple years for this, it virtually guarantees that nothing of his old life will be waiting for him upon release. House, toys, Barb, internet goodwill.. he’s seen the last of all of it. Chris Chan is basically dead.

Whatever the fuck steps out of prison/the psych ward, will be starting from scratch. With the MASSIVE disadvantage of being an autistic, crazy ex-con with sex offender status, national media coverage of his crime and zero life skills.

 

[Male Idiot]

Thinking ahead, Chris spending a few years in prison is better than a lifetime of homelessness. Who knows, they may make Chris do work: he could be making your next license plate.

Depends on what type of facility, it will be Chris rocking back and forth until his fatty body gives out, the only difference is letters or just the silence of the void if its a no contact mental facility.

 

[I raped a dog 2day]

@Null are you ready to be called as a witness?

 

[White Girl]

Jail is probably the best place for him. It'll be like his new high school without the Gal Pals (well maybe if you count the other troons).

 

[Nointey]

And that’s the other nice ribbon on the saga, if he does get multiple years for this, it virtually guarantees that nothing of his old life will be waiting for him upon release. House, toys, Barb, internet goodwill.. he’s seen the last of all of it. Chris Chan is basically dead.

Whatever the fuck steps out of prison/the psych ward, will be starting from scratch. With the MASSIVE disadvantage of being an autistic, crazy ex-con with sex offender status, national media coverage of his crime and zero life skills.

This is the exact moment Chris-Chan became Jesus Sonichu

 

[TheBridgeburner]

You're forgetting he's jesus, he probably thinks this is all destined because jesus got fucked over too or some bullshit. Chris will never be scared straight, he will always twist it in his mind so that he looks like a powerfull jesus queen.

Now hold on just one gosh darn second. How big are grand juries in the US?
Perhaps we've found our 12 apostles!

 

[Thorgrim Grudgebearer]

Now hold on just one gosh darn second. How big are grand juries in the US?
Perhaps we've found our 12 apostles!

Except this time they're all judas except that one guy who goes for a kiss for some reason

 

[Sissyagamben]

Ok but......a jury of probably white, redneck Southern people faced with a scary troon that says he is a God????? AND HE FUCKED HIS MOTHER?!?!


Chris will have the fastest deliberation ever they're not even going to leave the bench they're all just going to start unanimously screaming guilty



Home boy really screwed the pooch on this one

They will most likely indict him, but once they see Chris irl and hear him talk (berg will probably put him on stand to show how retarded he is) I doubt they’ll find him criminally responsible. Who knows, maybe he will somehow decide to waive the right to a jury and let the judge decide, in which case the sympathy factors will not be considered

 

[A Grey Cat]

Outdated. Virginia abolished the death penalty a year ago. Also Circuit Court is just our normal venue for criminal cases like this one. It's the second lowest tier, right above General District which handles shit like traffic tickets and small claims.

Also I think a lot of people here are reading "Grand Jury" and going "oh man that sounds way scarier than a regular jury" but literally all a GJ decides is whether to indict, i.e. to bring charges and proceed with trial.

View attachment 3539063

SO if his tard luck holds out because the GJ can't decide what to do with him then he could go just like that? Highly unlikey i know but hey stranger things have happened.

 

[Kirby]

I wonder if the attorneys will go to the farms for evidence?

"prosecution where did you get this evidence"
"kiwi farms"
"what is that"

 

[Hogar Grupal]

And that’s the other nice ribbon on the saga, if he does get multiple years for this, it virtually guarantees that nothing of his old life will be waiting for him upon release. House, toys, Barb, internet goodwill.. he’s seen the last of all of it. Chris Chan is basically dead.

Whatever the fuck steps out of prison/the psych ward, will be starting from scratch. With the MASSIVE disadvantage of being an autistic, crazy ex-con with sex offender status, national media coverage of his crime and zero life skills.

At least Barb may have regrets on not putting Chris through special ed classes when presented the opportunity. Geno's probably thinking "great, now I have to go on another hiatus." Do you think this will spur Netflix or Hulu to make their documentary?

 

[kcbbq]

How soon will we find out if anymore charges got dropped on Chris?

This is going to be a tough jury to seat. Where the hell are they going to find 12 goddess' and 6 alternative goddess'? I thought Chris was the one and true and honest goddess? How are they going to find Chris' peers?

A jury of your peers doesn't mean you get 12 Angry Ma'ams if you're a looneytroon.

 

[anti SJW]

A jury of your peers doesn't mean you get 12 Angry Ma'ams if you're a looneytroon.

I know. I can picture Chris asking for a jury like that though.

 

[Yksi_Toveri]

Jail is probably the best place for him. It'll be like his new high school without the Gal Pals (well maybe if you count the other troons).

Not jail, but actual hard prison time. Depending on what the grand jury indicts him on and what he gets convicted of (by plea or trial) he could be facing years in a pound-me-in-the-ass prison, although, due to his "special" nature, he'll likely be in a protective custody unit for his protection.

 

[My Name is Mud]

Chris agreed to this because he thought the judge said something about being "put in front of a Grand Furry"