Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[SixPennyWalnut]

I pretty much don’t consume any stand up comedy anymore because it’s become a political soapbox.

I saw an old press conference with Elvis Presley recently and they ask him what his thoughts are on the war and if it’s justified, would he serve again etc. He basically replied “honey, I’m an entertainer, I just want to entertain people, this isn’t the forum to air my private opinions, which will remain private” and that would actually be some kind of extremist mind set now. Everyone has to fly their flag and think they’re in an ideological war (you’re not, you’re a faggot)

 

[John_Smith]

Imagine believing America was the global darling before Trump. I've been watching shitskins the world over burning American flags on TV since I was a child.
American exceptionalism. Oh you're exceptional alright, you corn syrup drinking fucking pleb.

Patso has no clue, well maybe a 1.2 gpa level clue, about what American Exceptionalism is. Here, Is The United States Exceptional , is a good start. Patso won't read it though. Reading, like math, is hard. Understanding even harder, and no longer within the capacity of Piggy's thinkin' meats. He may have given himself some sort of brain disease, like the mad cow disease, from all the special pepperoni. It would explain so much. Additionally, being fat makes one stupid, so Piggy is getting the double whammy. Well, quadruple Whammy considering how indescribably fat he is.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Patrick puts out more words per day tweeting about british slang he might put in his gay book than he does writing his actual novel.


Hes such a cunty little karen. He deserves every bad thing that happens to him.

I managed to shoehorn Patrick into a real life conversation about bad comedians and I put on some of his stand up. I'd never actually made it through a full set of his before but we ended up watching three in a row and it turned into an endurance challenge.
His awful comedy doesnt get enough attention. He is less even less gifted at standup than writing. His material is jokes about star wars, bitter, unfunny musings about being divorced, and donald trump.

It's ironic how the only time Patrick fails to make people laugh is when he's actually trying to do so.

Also, does his shirt say "Only you can prevent fascist liars"? A) That's terrible B) What an absolute faggot, and C) In a sane world if someone wearing a shirt like that tried to walk into a comedy club they'd be kicked out immediately, because if they're getting on stage they're going to preach at people and suck, and if they aren't getting on stage they're going to act like a thin skinned bitch and make everyone have a worse time.

 

[Picnic_Boy]

Comedy, writing, cars. Pat is truly a jack shit of all trades.

 

[Formerly Trucks]

This one was particularly painful

Wow, I'd seen this set before but it was still shocking how awkward and sad it was. To think he had the audacity to call Norm MacDonald unfunny when this is the material he produces, let alone feels confident in posting online. By the sounds of that set, no sides were split, but I'm sure the stage almost did.

His stand up attempts are much like his writing attempts: he takes forever to get nowhere. He has the comedic prowess of a substitute youth pastor but with somehow creepier friends.

 

[Pat's Pointer Finger]

“THAT IS MY HOUSE”

YEAH, IT'S A DUPLEX

 

[Formerly Trucks]

I had a GPA related Fat Rick gif idea when I saw this pic, if anyone wants a new avatar or something that Pat will almost definitely not like:


(let me know if the fps is shit, I can re-export it)

 

[John Andrews Stan]

By the sounds of that set, no sides were split, but I'm sure the stage almost did.

This made me cackle out loud. The fact that Pat denies gaining any weight in the past four years is both hilarious and chilling. I hope he’s just too ashamed to acknowledge the truth, not so delusional that he thinks he’s still the same size.

 

[Lead Sammich]

Good lord i was fuckin howlin at the pest control texts. I got a giant dog that snores louder than most people with sleep apnea, and my laughter woke her from her slumber. I love how he just HAD to correct them with the ol' classic "my name is not Rick".

There's a real question there about Rick's finances. He spends money that there's no obvious explanation for how he got it. If he were some sort of trust fund kid being financed by his parents, I'd expect him to live in a nicer hovel. If Nikki had money skills, I would assume she would show some personal investment in some area of her life. When you work to earn money, that money represents your time, physical and emotional effort and seeing it squandered would provoke some sort of response.

To me, their behavior reads like people who figured out how to get a free ride from the government, with a few extra grifts thrown in when they see the opportunity. Rick isn't writing for money. He's writing for fame, power in his community, and to prove that his high school grades don't accurately represent his IQ (spoiler: they do). That's the only reason he isn't lounging on his ass 100% of the time. He needs that .05% of work to maintain his delusions.


I think the most likely reason why Hooligans refunded the ona brothermen was that they took personal affront to the faxes and other attention they were getting. It can be funny to people watching the bit, but being an unwilling participant in a joke can be off-putting. And as great as a one time $200 is, it really doesn't compare to a $12,000 yearly contribution from Fat. Having people try to drive off your most profitable customer is something they could have taken seriously.

Big Niki's mother has been confirmed to be the CEO of a successful CFO consulting firm type company. They also act as an interim CFO for companies who need one. Im not too familiar with business so that might not make the most sense but thats basically what the company is. Basically shes fucking loaded and Niki is the baby of the family. There is no way her mom is not bankrolling their existence. Also her father died not too terribly long ago and i think left her some inheritance. And speaking of her father...

so do any of you autist have a list of all the things from his life he has had twitter conversation with?

so far i got:

• his wife's blanket
• hi toilet
• his fence
• the chad version of himself
• his mustange(maybe, i only vaguely recall this one.)

My favorite alleged atalker account was Niki's dead father's ghost.

I think I said this before but he has a cargo cult personality. A lot of low IQ people do. He apes people he idolizes because he thinks that their behavior is what makes them rich or famous, but he doesn't understand that people like Scalzi are allowed to be gigantic dickheads because they're good at their jobs.

Author Pat is Scalzi. Auto Pat is some Jalopnik author. I'm sure you could nail down who each Pat is based on the people he's interacted with.

Auto pat is more likely Vance Raven, his actual real life mechanic cousin who thinks mustangs are gay. P@ts alter ego journalist Pork Squeeler seems to be a hodgepodge of the author and mechanic personas. Vance was posted earlier in the thread, somewhere around page 890 or so, in the same post with his cousin Jake Raven, who is the model for p@ts masculine/warrior type persona. Jake also seems to be the model for any of p@ts tweets where he acts like hes a father that didnt abandon his child(ren).

P@tso is a humongulus, which is basically a homunculus aka an artificial human, only way more medically obese.

Also I dont understand why this dude (one of TORs editors apparently) wouldnt just shave his fuckin head. Hes gotta look silly as shit from a profile view.
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[Complete Reprobate]

humongulus

Oh fuck I spit my pepperoni all over some fat guy at the other end of the bar who said he's writing a book about a grown English midget.

Also, theory time -

Nikolas married Rick in order to satisfy some sort of clause in the will in order to get her inheritance.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

Oh fuck I spit my pepperoni all over some fat guy at the other end of the bar who said he's writing a book about a grown English midget.

Also, theory time -

Nikolas married Rick in order to satisfy some sort of clause in the will in order to get her inheritance.

I think she just married him because he's an easy catch.

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

I think she just married him because he's an easy catch.

of course he's an easy catch, nobody that fat can run very fast.

 

[Pat's Pointer Finger]

easy catch, impossible carry

 

[clusterfuckk]

Found image of Rick caught in Big Nikkis net. Colorized.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

The pests are getting excited for CONvergence.
NiceNameStupid:
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Well that's a convention I'd never go to. Way to limit your guests and gatekeep.

 

[AnOminous]

@AnOminous I'm not sure about Wisconsin Law, but if Pat is actually too poor to pay back Quasi; could Pat be forced to auction his car to pay Quasi back? I've heard in some cases where bad faith debtors have been forced to sell off stuff by the state because they literally don't have the money and never actually were going to pay it back.

Because if it's possible, Quasi should demand he sell his fucking car to pay him.

A judgment creditor can use any available means to collect a debt. That includes getting a writ of execution and seizing personal possessions. In that eventuality, generally after notice and an opportunity to challenge (such as by invoking exemptions on particular kinds of property), the sheriff's department shows up and bags and tags your shit, noting what is present.

This is sometimes called a seizure, although the property generally remains physically on the premises. If you attempt to dispose of it after this happens, you very likely will do time for it because it no longer belongs to you. You are both in contempt of a court order and a thief, for which you can be separately prosecuted.

I'm not sure whether Porque Squealer's Mustang is worthless enough to be within Wisconsin's personal property exemptions.

Something Quasi could consider doing is collecting against Fatty's wife. That might get that dumb cunt's attention. She is just as liable for Fatty's bullshit as he is.

 

[Liber Pater]

I got a giant dog that snores louder than most people with sleep apnea

But does she snore louder than a hog with sleep apnea?
Inquiring minds want to know.

 

[Mr Moonface]

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

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You know what sounds like a great Wednesday night? Getting hammered at a bar on the upper east side of Milwaukee

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Big Niki's mother has been confirmed to be the CEO of a successful CFO consulting firm type company. They also act as an interim CFO for companies who need one. Im not too familiar with business so that might not make the most sense but thats basically what the company is

Yes, it does make sense. Those kinds of consultancies exist for every area of business (CMOs, CEOs, CIOs, et al.).