Aug 9 2022 - Continuance on Grand Jury, defense filed motion for autism disorder deferred disposition

[D_Tractor]

He's so lucky that Jews rock.

 

[hambeerlyingnreed]

Legit cannot go into anymore detail. All I can say is use your imagination.

Im gonna assume it involved mailing a package containing (old)Navy and/or chocolate...

 

[Ophelia]

Barb didn't cook for either Chris or Bob since the day they moved back to Ruckersville.

According to Chris. People believe the whole spaghetti story at face value way too easily.

It was well past the threshold of responsibility on Barb's end to where she became an active player in the outcome. This was an event years in the making, without tremendous enablement and, in a sense, grooming on her part this would've never happened. That's not rape anymore, especially if there wasn't crude physical force involved.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

 

[Bunny Tracks]

I suspect at Heilberg's time of life, the law is more of a hobby than a profession, and people are often a lot more meticulous about their hobbies than when they're getting paid. I mean Chris' case could be called the Mt. Everest of tard defenses, so why is Heilberg performing miracles defending him? For the same reason Norgay and Hillary went all the way to the top: Because he can.

This is probably it.

To be frank, I don't think Heilberg feels much sympathy for Chris. Probably a little for his mental state, but not for much else, and not enough to put up with all his bullshit. Simply put, I don't think he's doing this out of the goodness of his heart. No, I think he's doing it out of boredom, and possibly for the challenge.

Think about it. He's already done all other mundane cases in his life, and is borderline retired at this point. He's also already incredibly renowned, and wealthy enough to take a case without getting paid. What else does he have to gain from this case besides what I mentioned above?

Nothing I can certainly think of. He most likely is just doing it for the thrill of it.

 

[Procrastinhater]

And he's gone above and beyond that at even the preliminary stage. My reasoning may be entirely inferential, but he seems to be personally invested in the case on some moral level, because this isn't just going through the motions.

Contrary to Chris's whining, this guy does have his interests at heart.

If he got the Cliff Notes version of Chris's life it would be very easy for him to feel extreme sympathy for him especially if he has a retarded relative himself, this is a guy whose entire life has been puppeteered and ridiculed by the Internet to the extent its driven him so insane he thinks he's Rodger Rabbit Jesus and fucked his decaying mom out of desperation and the complete destruction of any morality by a parade of people wanting him to do ever more depraved shit for videos.
Maybe he heard the Bluespike audio and got a QR of what the Idea Guys did to him.
It's easy to feel sorry for Chris when you don't know him like we do, hell I still feel sorry for him and I know what a disgusting selfish lazy fuck he is.
I think you're right Heilberg is more invested in this than as just another weird client.

 

[Spez]

If chris gets out of this unscaved with time served, I will actually start believeing in CPUs and The Merge, because there has to be some magical fucking force keeping chris from destroying his entire life this many times.

 

[LargeChoonger]

If he got the Cliff Notes version of Chris's life it would be very easy for him to feel extreme sympathy for him especially if he has a retarded relative himself, this is a guy whose entire life has been puppeteered and ridiculed by the Internet to the extent its driven him so insane he thinks he's Rodger Rabbit Jesus and fucked his decaying mom out of desperation and the complete destruction of any morality by a parade of people wanting him to do ever more depraved shit for videos.
Maybe he heard the Bluespike audio and got a QR of what the Idea Guys did to him.
It's easy to feel sorry for Chris when you don't know him like we do, hell I still feel sorry for him and I know what a disgusting selfish lazy fuck he is.

Learning about Chris is like picking up a new game or hobby. You get "into" it and suddenly all the basics click. You master the absolute fundamentals of Chris's core being and for a while sit at the peak of your perceived knowledge. Then you start reading between the lines. You notice his 20+ year history of self-serving behavior. He's a pathological liar, only feigns empathy or work for an immediate reward, and is totally incapable of future planning or having considerations for the impact of his actions on others. What Chris wants right now is all that matters and he will barge through anything, no matter how psychologically or physically hurt anyone else might get, to get it. And after the crash down to your actual knowledge level and building it back up, you loop back around to "what an asshole lol"

 

[Procrastinhater]

Just one dog. The other dog died a couple years ago. And the dogs sounds could be edited in. No one came to the door in the video, so this could just be a ruse.

I know, I meant Hounds in general. They sound like a person being raped and murdered.

 

[A-№1]

No, I think he's doing it out of boredom, and possibly for the challenge.

That or he's doing it as a personal favor to the court, and one does not half-ass favors. Or maybe he's slightly OCPD in the "if you're going to do something, do it right" sense. Or maybe he just really loves the law. Or maybe none of the above.

There are all sorts of possible reasons why Heilberg is putting so much effort into defending Chris that have absolutely nothing to do with Chris himself.

All we know for certain is he sure as hell isn't doing it for the money.

 

[TaterBot]

I wonder why Heilberg waited so long to drop that motion on the court? Could he not have done that at some point in the past year, instead of right before the grand jury proceeding? Didn't it have the immediate effect of prolonging custody? Will a grand jury still be necessary after the motion is ruled on?

These questions may have been addressed before. Somewhere.

 

[ThatOneAsshole]

That or he's doing it as a personal favor to the court, and one does not half-ass favors. Or maybe he's slightly OCPD in the "if you're going to do something, do it right" sense. Or maybe he just really loves the law. Or maybe none of the above.

There are all sorts of possible reasons why Heilberg is putting so much effort into defending Chris that have absolutely nothing to do with Chris himself.

All we know for certain is he sure as hell isn't doing it for the money.

I think it's ethics in law shit. They have to do everything they can, because if they fuck up the fat moron will get an appeal and clog up the court system longer with this stupid bullshit

 

[Lancelot]

The funniest part of this sketch is that the original plan was to have the lyrics be " Jews rule" but adult swim execs swept down on that shit

Just curious how did the police/prosecution fuck up the OJ trial in your opinion?

A lot of shit happened.
Oj's lawyer also did a fucking great job of jury selection. Somehow getting almost all old black women. Getting permission to take them to " the scene of the crime" ; and planting bibles in every room of the house. Dude was crafty

 

[Nobody Important]

I wonder why Heilberg waited so long to drop that motion on the court? Could he not have done that at some point in the past year, instead of right before the grand jury proceeding? Didn't it have the immediate effect of prolonging custody? Will a grand jury still be necessary after the motion is ruled on?

These questions may have been addressed before. Somewhere.

I think it would have been held up by Chris's competency hearings. The motion was probably filled out shortly after he was arrested, but couldn't be introduced or ruled on until it was decided whether or not to bring the charges to a GJ.

 

[Undersideofcwcspillow]

I just want to say that it isn't like Chris is just getting away with this. I don't know why everyone is acting like that.

He still spent a year in jail, which is the worst consequence he has ever faced for his actions. He also had his identity and actions broadcast to the general public and is most likely going to have a very difficult time continuing his normal pre-jail existence.

He is still going to be on probation, and it will probably actually be taken seriously. Before Chris violated his probation and nothing happened. If he violates this one, he'll probably be right back in jail.

Stop acting like Chris is getting away totally scot free.

 

[Georges St. Pierre]

I just want to say that it isn't like Chris is just getting away with this. I don't know why everyone is acting like that.

He still spent a year in jail, which is the worst consequence he has ever faced for his actions. He also had his identity and actions broadcast to the general public and is most likely going to have a very difficult time continuing his normal pre-jail existence.

He is still going to be on probation, and it will probably actually be taken seriously. Before Chris violated his probation and nothing happened. If he violates this one, he'll probably be right back in jail.

Stop acting like Chris is getting away totally scot free.

....Normal?

 

[actually a cat]

Stop acting like Chris is getting away totally scot free.

I could be wrong, but didn't I read somewhere that large amounts of legos and vidya were showing up in second hand stores around the area? As in, his toy hoard might have been sold off?

 

[Undersideofcwcspillow]

....Normal?

Normal for chris. I doubt anyone in ruckersville is going to want his business. They probably didn't before, but now they have a justification and won't look like they're descriminating against him for being autistic.

 

[AnOminous]

I'm calling it right now, if Chris is indeed set free and the ween support dries up, which it will, Chris will either end up in jail, in an institution, or dead within two years. And that is, in at least a large part, due to his autism and warped sense of reality due to it.

He isn't just tarded, he's actively self-destructive. If you give him a choice between someone who has his actual best interests at heart and a sick sadist who plays into his delusions to get him to kill himself, he'll pick the Idea Guy every time.

Honestly just seriously fuck Chris, he deserves whatever he gets and will get it.

 

[AnOminous]

Chris' case was almost at the end of the schedule. It's possible the grand jury simply hadn't gotten to Chris yet when the motion for deferred disposition dropped, making the grand jury irrelevant until the judge ruled on that motion.

It was at the actual end the day before someone else was added. I believe I posted the screenshots of both lists. I believe I speculated at the time that this seems to happen when one particular scheduled event is expected to take longer than the others. They like getting these cattle call court days over as soon as possible and that means front-loading the really easy cases to get as many people out of there as possible.

(Source: having been at way too many of these goddamn things, both for business and my habit of challenging literally every single parking ticket or traffic ticket I ever get, seriously do that, you'll win at least half the time because they don't show up.)

I'm pretty sure they already knew what Heilberg was planning, or at the very least, that he was planning something that might turn time-consuming.

 

[Cockadoodle85]

He isn't just tarded, he's actively self-destructive. If you give him a choice between someone who has his actual best interests at heart and a sick sadist who plays into his delusions to get him to kill himself, he'll pick the Idea Guy every time.

Honestly just seriously fuck Chris, he deserves whatever he gets and will get it.

null would marry him before that happens