FATAL 2: The Fataling

ActualKiwi said:
Lucky you're just the quartermaster then, not the one at the wheel eh?
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A quartermaster? There's actually a name for a guy who doesn't do anything but vomit at random and throw flaming bottles of oil at random targets?
 
AnOminous said:
A quartermaster? There's actually a name for a guy who doesn't do anything but vomit at random and throw flaming bottles of oil at random targets?
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It's the name for the person in charge of finding us the best booze and food for our piratical adventures!
 
AnOminous said:
A quartermaster? There's actually a name for a guy who doesn't do anything but vomit at random and throw flaming bottles of oil at random targets?
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You are supposed to catalog and manage our inventory but I imagine you're just below deck puking everywhere drunk.


Hey, I had an idea can we mount a siege weapon like a ballista or catapult on our ship?
If we can I'll make AnOminous our gunnery master.
 
ActualKiwi said:
Dammit, was going to suggest exactly that as soon as I saw "coastal fort". Is there any loot on the boat or just what we brought with us? And how heavily manned is this fort..?
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There's no loot. It was about to be sent off to pick up more slaves. And the fort is pretty heavily manned. Expect at least 100 guys in there. A few of them may be mages.
 
Burned Man said:
You are supposed to catalog and manage our inventory but I imagine you're just below deck puking everywhere drunk.


Hey, I had an idea can we mount a siege weapon like a ballista or catapult on our ship?
If we can I'll make AnOminous our gunnery master.
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You guys could certaintly buy one at the fort.
 
As the First-Mate Lazy-Carcass takes it upon himself to explain very carefully/forcefully (delete where appropriate) to the crew that first we buy a ballista, then shenanigans.
 
Caddchef said:
As the First-Mate Lazy-Carcass takes it upon himself to explain very carefully/forcefully (delete where appropriate) to the crew that first we buy a ballista, then shenanigans.
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Alright. As long as you guys agree on who's paying, you can buy one. You can split up the costs any way you want.
 
BTW, you're all docked now. You can go wild.
 
Vlricus first order of business is to purchase a bottle of champagne to christen the ship with. Then proceed to find the person to buy siege weapons from.
 
Stupid-shit goes with Vlricus, having a good eye for weapons of destruction, and wanting to be there to...encourage...the seller into a better offer.
 
Burned Man said:
Vlricus first order of business is to purchase a bottle of champagne to christen the ship with. Then proceed to find the person to buy siege weapons from.
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You find the guy at the back of the fort. He's under a canopy labelled "Crazy Al's Used Siege Weapons"
 
Crazy-Al must have crazy prices, maybe we can use this to our
advantage!
 
I remain calm and keep the vomiting to a minimum and decide not to hurl flaming bottles of oil randomly at anyone, at least until we mount some kind of siege engine on the boat. Maybe we should pick some harmless little village to pillage.

Also I suggest if we buy something, that it can shoot things that are on fire.

Because fire.
 
Al will sell you guys any siege weapon for list price, but he's crazy, so intimidating him just gets him sexually aroused.
 
Will he give us a discount? You know, for getting him all hot under the collar.
 
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