FATAL 2: The Fataling

Ok, I did some rolling, and well...
You know how rape in fatal is actually so lethal that combat rapist is a viable combat build? Yeah, well, the guy is dead. You now have all the siege weapons you want, but no way to move them.
 
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Well we could either get out of here before anyone notices or else just start randomly firing off siege weapons in every direction.
 
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Splendid Meat Sticks said:
Ok, I did some rolling, and well...
You know how rape in fatal is actually so lethal that combat rapist is a viable combat build? Yeah, well, the guy is dead. You now have all the siege weapons you want, but no way to move them.
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Are none of the siege weapons wheeled?
 
ActualKiwi said:
Are none of the siege weapons wheeled?
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Well, you don't put the wheel on your weapons, that's just asking for trouble. If any of you want to see if you're smart enough to assemble this shit correctly, you're welcome to try though.
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
Well, you don't put the wheel on your weapons, that's just asking for trouble. If any of you want to see if you're smart enough to assemble this shit correctly, you're welcome to try though.
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Hmmm..what about being strong enough to drag some of the smaller siege weapons? I know for a fact stupid-shit suits his name so he'd suck at assembling complex objects. Stupid-shit also inspects the merchant's corpse and surroundings for money/other smaller loot.
 
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Splendid Meat Sticks said:
Ok, I did some rolling, and well...
You know how rape in fatal is actually so lethal that combat rapist is a viable combat build? Yeah, well, the guy is dead. You now have all the siege weapons you want, but no way to move them.
Click to expand...
It seems the negotiations were....

F.A.T.A.L.

14177915699358.png


I think Stupid-Shit and Lazy-Carcass can easily haul like 1600lbs combined, we might be able to just carry one out.
 
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Splendid Meat Sticks said:
Well, you don't put the wheel on your weapons, that's just asking for trouble. If any of you want to see if you're smart enough to assemble this shit correctly, you're welcome to try though.
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Vlricus will try to assemble the siege weapons. His unfamiliar object assembly is 500 and he knows trigonometry. What else does he need?
 
ActualKiwi said:
Hmmm..what about being strong enough to drag some of the smaller siege weapons? I know for a fact stupid-shit suits his name so he'd suck at assembling complex objects. Stupid-shit also inspects the merchant's corpse and surroundings for money/other smaller loot.
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You find 12 sp and a set of human sized clothing on his now-naked body.
Caddchef said:
It seems the negotiations were....

F.A.T.A.L.

View attachment 73955

I think Stupid-Shit and Lazy-Carcass can easily haul like 1600lbs combined, we might be able to just carry one out.
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There are no listed weights for siege weapons. Presumably, you cannot move them without external equipment or disassembling them.
Realistically though, you guys should be able to move them, so I'll let you guys move a ballista, but remember that each bolt weighs 1oo lbs.
Burned Man said:
Vlricus will try to assemble the siege weapons. His unfamiliar object assembly is 500 and he knows trigonometry. What else does he need?
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There is no skill that allows siege weapons to actually be assembled. It's just impossible.

So anyways, you guys carry the ballista back to the boat and install it and 25 bolts of ammo. But then, the guards find the salesman's naked, raped body and assume the worst. They begin firing their own siege weapons at your boat while you're still docked!
 
Vlricus takes his position and bellows out commands "Battle Stations!Take us out of here Mister Stupid-Shit! Man the weapon and return fire!"
I imagine it would work better if both of you load and fire it.
 
Burned Man said:
Vlricus takes his position and bellows out commands "Battle Stations!Take us out of here Mister Stupid-Shit! Man the weapon and return fire!"
I imagine it would work better if both of you load and fire it.
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It takes 4 turns to load the thing, and it cannot be aimed while being loaded, that's a seperate process.
Signifigantly rotating it also takes 4 rounds.
 
I throw a flaming flask of oil at the nearest flammable thing to distract pursuers. Preferably the dock or boats or whatever.
 
If it takes so long to load the damn siege engine or turn it, and given that the humans have a bonus to siege warfare due to being behind fortifications, we might be better off just getting the hell out of here.
Stupid-shit turns the boat's wheel, turning it back out of the harbour and keeping an eye out for incoming siege projectiles... We just need to avoid putting red tunics on.
 
AnOminous said:
I throw a flaming flask of oil at the nearest flammable thing to distract pursuers. Preferably the dock or boats or whatever.
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It breaks open and catches on fire, but due to the rules, it doesn't actually catch on fire. The oil on top is on fire however.

ActualKiwi said:
If it takes so long to load the damn siege engine or turn it, and given that the humans have a bonus to siege warfare due to being behind fortifications, we might be better off just getting the hell out of here.
Stupid-shit turns the boat's wheel, turning it back out of the harbour and keeping an eye out for incoming siege projectiles... We just need to avoid putting red tunics on.
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You know how you don't have to roll for sailing out of combat? Well, you're now in combat. And you fail your sailing roll. Hard. You go nowhere.
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
It breaks open and catches on fire, but due to the rules, it doesn't actually catch on fire. The oil on top is on fire however.

You know how you don't have to roll for sailing out of combat? Well, you're now in combat. And you fail your sailing roll. Hard. You go nowhere.
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Balls. Guess ill shout terrible threats at the humans then and possibly start loading the ballista?, anyone got better sailing?
 
I'll give sailing a shot too, if I can't sail, then leave it to someone else and prepare Thumper for thumping people.

I also try to yell some rhetoric about how we dindu nuffin and we were just having some consensual rough sex and he just had a heart attack, I was pushing buttons, I couldn't do anything! It was bugged lovemaking mechanics.
 
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AnOminous manages to get the boat a few feet away from the dock.

Meanwhile, 15 soldiers jump onboard and charge you guys!
 
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