Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Toolbox]

Hey guys. I've been lurking this thread for a while, reading your guy's general experiences with transgenderism offline, losing friends and family to the nonsense of modern gender fuckery and the very horrid repercussions it leads to. And I hadn't much to say, nothing that would compare to some of what I've read here, I felt for you. That said, in my own life I've been experiencing friends falling into the pit of supporting and beginning to or already falling into the pit of transgender IDPOL. Including with surgical implications. And on a fairly horrifying level to me. Luckily, perhaps, in a dark way I had not really become that deep of friends with them before finding out. Can't really know how much worse this would feel. That does not prevent the sorrow of figuring out that in all likelihood, they had, with their parents permission, gotten in the very least breast removal surgery before the age of 18. It has been several years since then, and they are around 20 - 25 today. (not gonna power level that hard). There's no real way I would have known this would happen, as I did not know them at the time, but in a way I still feel guilt. They are doing fine right now, and I'm fairly certain have not gone through with full SRS, but they clearly have to have been on hormones for several years on top of the aforementioned bodily deformation, but I cannot help but think that as the years go by they will regret this, especially as from what I understand this would have had to have been combined with puberty blockers. Them being 'fine', as I said earlier, is emotionally related - their health is weaker than mine and I also have problems. But with mine in comparison their ailments are fairly worse, dysphoria, real or gained, notwithstanding. I can't help but think that they could be due to what they, perhaps they and their relatives, have allowed done to their condition. I've heard the news stories about people advocating for teens and even children to have 'access' to hormones, puberty blockers, even SRS, and for how bad it all was I never really thought I'd grow to know somebody and find this out. But I suppose it was inevitable with the world we are in, one we will have to steer away from this course. Anyways, I've rattled on about this enough. While I've skimmed this thread, I don't directly remember each story. If anyone has any tips on coping with this insanity in real life, they would be appreciated. Thank you and thank you for your words thus far. They have helped me emotionally prepare for an outcome like this in a sense.

 

[Skookum Jim]

If anyone has any tips on coping with this insanity in real life, they would be appreciated.

I have no experience on how to deal with family who fall for this nonsense, that's not my wheelhouse, but I can speak for friends.

1. Don't allow them into your close circle, if you were close to them once try and gently cut them off. Sometimes this isn't possible, like if you are both members of a close knit friend group, but in general try and distance yourself as much as possible.
2. Do not get emotionally involved with them, be it heart to hearts or romantically (though if they ambush you in it with a marriage then that's a different can of worms.) Troonism is the collective death spiral of a socially isolated, unfortunately manipulated, and severely mentally ill generation, you must not allow them to drag you down with them.
3. If you are ever in a position of authority, try your best to keep these people away, don't hire them, don't involve them, they cause nothing but trouble for those actually wanting to be involved. This doesn't mean being openly discriminatory, that will lead to the mob coming for you and your reputation, and in some cases you will just have to bite the bullet, but by and large keep them at arms length from anything important.
5. if one of them comes into a position of authority, whether that be a workplace, a discord server, or a friend group, leave. The rot is terminal, and even if you loved the community or the camaraderie, its too late, they WILL bend the culture of the group to their will, and it will become another shitty hugbox for them and their ilk.

More personally, you have to take it on a case by case basis. This transgenderism is new territory, and in a lot of cases I do believe that we will be seeing a massive wave of detransitioners, both ones who went the whole nine yards and those who were basically the equivalent of "bi until graduation." These people will get older and wiser and regret the mistakes of their teenage/young adult self, we all do, they'll be by and large fine. But if it's obvious they're hardcore, then you have to accept that this person is entirely different than the one you thought you knew. At best it's a mockery brought about by insecurity, and at worst it is self induced identity death in the pursuit of running away from some form of trauma. They are not the same person, you have to treat them like it. In my case I was very close with the person, and as the years wore on and I realized she wasn't getting better, the only way i could reconcile it in my head is by treating her for all intents and purposes dead. It might be unhealthy, but it was easier for me to not talk to her anymore if i just said to myself "the person you grew up with is dead." With all of the horrors in the SRS/GRS thread, it might not be so metaphorical soon either, so I keep the black suit ready for the day i get to say goodbye for real. There's a reason we call these people Skinwalkers.

 

[anti SJW]

I do believe that we will be seeing a massive wave of detransitioners, both ones who went the whole nine yards and those who were basically the equivalent of "bi until graduation." These people will get older and wiser and regret the mistakes of their teenage/young adult self

Unfortunately, at this point, I think this is the only way we are going to see all the "Give the kids that haven't reached puberty and developed hormone drugs." Go away they will need to be very vocal and share their stories publicly.

Stories on how the kids felt pressure from their parents, doctors and other adults pushing it on them. Then we will see all this BS go away. But it most likely will take years.

 

[Polish Businessman]

The mental health screenings that are already mandated in some places have a similar impact. Bad incident in my family where a young kid (I think about 7 at the time) first was introduced to the concept of "killing oneself" through one of those screenings and developed actual anxiety due to the imagery it cooked up in their little fuzzy head.

That's like that "trauma debriefing" after disasters. Instead of thanking God that they survived, people started having serious PTSD symptoms because the train they were riding derailed or something like that.

 

[Cpt. Stud Beefpile]

Is there a universal symbol for folks suffering from troon-loss? If there isn't we should make one. Even something as simple as a specific ribbon color (a gradiant, maybe?), that can be easily shared on the normie-nets.

 

[TooManyKittens]

I wasn't gonna post here. But here we are. I know more people who trooned out than I can count. Most women I know declared themselves non binary and I, the lowly tomboy became a social pariah for asking why is it almost everyone? Isn't this supposedly rare?

Well now one of my "enby" female friends has decided to go full troon. Her husband has declared himself a TIM and is starting transition. She wants to become a "boy". Not a man. A boy. Approximately half our actual ages because reliving puberty or something. They weren't always the best decision makers but they were good people until...a few years ago when they became uber woke. We were still friends ish because I just partially disengaged and made sure we focused on non political shit when we hung out. Then the gender obsession came. Now its transition and at this point I feel like its best to cut ties entirely.

I just don't have it in me to play the change names an pronouns *again* game, and stick around to watch her grow a beard and probably get surgery and be euphoric for a few years till reality hits. Of her social circle the number of transitioners is insanely high, the overlap is part of how I know so many.. I at least still have circles who are fine with trans but they themselves are not part of the cult.

Naturally the further any of them went down this road the more lefty deranged sjw they became, the more needy, the more demanding, and the less fun.

I miss 10 to 15 years ago when fun meant cards against humanity and drinking beer and being silly.

I dont want to dox myself or them but there's so much more, and a distinct sense of loss on this one. I thought for a long time we'd be galpals for life. Now major events in my life can't include her because I couldnt trust her to behave like a sane person the past couple of years (this was true before she announced the full transition), and im sure steroids will do wonders for her already fucked up mental state. (Mr. Kittens doesn't tolerate her much, because he sees the clear down spiral she's on).

Fuck this cult so much. It'd be one thing if it wasn't a social contagion that corrupts more and more people as they convince everyone gender is a feeling or you'll be happier or whatever the false promise is thats luring people. I still don't get it. But fuck it.

I'm sorry. This is nothing new or interesting but there's nowhere left to vent but here. And it hurts to lose people.

 

[anti SJW]

Forgive my ignorance, but what do enby and TIM mean?

 

[The Ugly One]

enby = NB = nonbinary
Nonbinary means someone who dresses like a retard and thinks that means they're neither male nor female

TIM = Trans-Identifying Male. Preferred nomenclature of TERFs for "transwomen," since it correctly identifies them as males, which they are, since they are not women.

 

[teriyakiburns]

I at least still have circles who are fine with trans but they themselves are not part of the cult.

I often find myself wondering how many of the pro-troon types are just cheering it along because they don't want to lose their social status. How many of the think they're the only one that disagrees with it?

I miss 10 to 15 years ago when fun meant cards against humanity and drinking beer and being silly.

All of the most "woke" people I know used to do all the things that they now claim are horribly offensive and violent. They act like the worst kind of born again christians (something I also have a lot of experience with), or some other sort of religious zealot. They're humourless, fragile, utterly lacking any sort of empathy.

 

[ロボ﹏§¤r﹏h¶rœ]

Forgive my ignorance, but what do enby and TIM mean?

Consult https://kiwifarms.net/threads/tranny-glossary-reloaded.89988/

 

[Skookum Jim]

All of the most "woke" people I know used to do all the things that they now claim are horribly offensive and violent.

A lot of the people that I know that fell for this cult (including my friend and I) spent a lot of their formative years in middle and high school watching leafy and Keemstar and hanging out in those sort of Internet Bully circles, laughing hysterically at Idubbz saying Niggerfaggot and all that stupid garbage. I'm sure there is an element of genuine regret in becoming woke, as I got older I moved away from that sort of content because it was just the same endless cycle of callouts and counter callouts, and now that youtube has cracked down on "hate speech" they can't evene say anything especially offensive anymore.

I guess the difference is that I didn't fall into a cult that demands total purity in thought and action, and can accept that at one point i did find shit like that endlessly entertaining. I consider that ok though, part of growing up is pushing boundaries, and as long as you didn't grow up to become an asshole I don't put any large stock in that.

I could probably make a larger point about how Troonism is basically a refusal to grow up, to be eternally in that figuring yourself out stage of development, which is why you see a lot of college age people doing it. At some point you have to stop being an emotionally unstable personality-soup teenager, and I think that scares a lot of people, especially cluster B types where their personality is at best theoretical to begin with.

 

[Chromeo]

Is there a universal symbol for folks suffering from troon-loss? If there isn't we should make one. Even something as simple as a specific ribbon color (a gradiant, maybe?), that can be easily shared on the normie-nets.

I already had Photoshop open so I whipped up this real quick:

It's a mostly black ribbon with the colors of the trans flag on the tips and the back. Black being the traditional color of mourning/grief and the trans colors standing in for men, women, and people that ID as nonbinary that join the cult and remove themselves from our lives (or from their own lives 41% of the time.)

 

[Ser Prize]

I already had Photoshop open so I whipped up this real quick:
View attachment 3944214
It's a mostly black ribbon with the colors of the trans flag on the tips and the back. Black being the traditional color of mourning/grief and the trans colors standing in for men, women, and people that ID as nonbinary that join the cult and remove themselves from our lives (or from their own lives 41% of the time.)

Too obvious. The colours give away the intent.

 

[Chromeo]

Too obvious. The colours give away the intent.

You still want some intent for the people involved. Blue and pink could just be made brighter:


Or we could do a pattern fill like the autism puzzle piece ribbon. They have puzzle pieces because autism is a puzzle or whatever, we could have cracked eggs.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

That's like that "trauma debriefing" after disasters. Instead of thanking God that they survived, people started having serious PTSD symptoms because the train they were riding derailed or something like that.

The road to hell is paved with "low risk, low cost interventions." The midwit clinicians doing this stuff mean well/just following orders, but I swear the admins and higher levels know what it does, and that's why they make it "standard of care."

You still want some intent for the people involved. Blue and pink could just be made brighter:
View attachment 3944619

Or we could do a pattern fill like the autism puzzle piece ribbon. They have puzzle pieces because autism is a puzzle or whatever, we could have cracked eggs.

View attachment 3944739

Ribbons are gay but if we have to make one, the egg one at least has comedy value.

 

[Toolbox]

I have no experience on how to deal with family who fall for this nonsense, that's not my wheelhouse, but I can speak for friends.

1. Don't allow them into your close circle, if you were close to them once try and gently cut them off. Sometimes this isn't possible, like if you are both members of a close knit friend group, but in general try and distance yourself as much as possible.
2. Do not get emotionally involved with them, be it heart to hearts or romantically (though if they ambush you in it with a marriage then that's a different can of worms.) Troonism is the collective death spiral of a socially isolated, unfortunately manipulated, and severely mentally ill generation, you must not allow them to drag you down with them.
3. If you are ever in a position of authority, try your best to keep these people away, don't hire them, don't involve them, they cause nothing but trouble for those actually wanting to be involved. This doesn't mean being openly discriminatory, that will lead to the mob coming for you and your reputation, and in some cases you will just have to bite the bullet, but by and large keep them at arms length from anything important.
5. if one of them comes into a position of authority, whether that be a workplace, a discord server, or a friend group, leave. The rot is terminal, and even if you loved the community or the camaraderie, its too late, they WILL bend the culture of the group to their will, and it will become another shitty hugbox for them and their ilk.

More personally, you have to take it on a case by case basis. This transgenderism is new territory, and in a lot of cases I do believe that we will be seeing a massive wave of detransitioners, both ones who went the whole nine yards and those who were basically the equivalent of "bi until graduation." These people will get older and wiser and regret the mistakes of their teenage/young adult self, we all do, they'll be by and large fine. But if it's obvious they're hardcore, then you have to accept that this person is entirely different than the one you thought you knew. At best it's a mockery brought about by insecurity, and at worst it is self induced identity death in the pursuit of running away from some form of trauma. They are not the same person, you have to treat them like it. In my case I was very close with the person, and as the years wore on and I realized she wasn't getting better, the only way i could reconcile it in my head is by treating her for all intents and purposes dead. It might be unhealthy, but it was easier for me to not talk to her anymore if i just said to myself "the person you grew up with is dead." With all of the horrors in the SRS/GRS thread, it might not be so metaphorical soon either, so I keep the black suit ready for the day i get to say goodbye for real. There's a reason we call these people Skinwalkers.

I'd love to just be able to hit eject and bail out of the way of it, but it simply is not currently possible for me. Like with many people in this thread, I do not have the ability to kick them out of my friend group, nor would I particularly want to. They're a good person, just misguided. Unfortunately they just ended up in just the wrong circumstance for that to lead to a decision that'll last their whole lives. Most of the time politics is brought up in this group, it's leftie, and whenever any group associated with the LGBT is mentioned it is in a neutral or positive light. The transgender individual, when they post politics, only posts with gay/trans imagery online, though I have avoided their public social media where they do so more. The general group never talk about the bad of IDPOL, though I know there are people that would. But fortunately I am able to avoid the current year issue spergery 90% of the time and it's only 2 or 3 people, including the transgender, in a group of >20 friends who talk politics, and that's really only online. But like many of these cases I've seen it creep in more and more, but I suppose I could just be coming more aware of it. I will never be able to be fully honest with my beliefs on these issues with most of these people, and I've mostly come to accept that and will attempt to find people that I could be truthful with. But growing up with most of these people, including those that brought the confused individual in, it makes it all the more difficult to eventually leave them behind if it truly is going to get to that point. I do thank you for giving advice. Just not sure if I can personally make use of it.

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

Too obvious. The colours give away the intent.

Hmm, if I saw it in the wild, I'd assume it was a Trans Rememberance Day thing. Stylish, though.

 

[Chongqing]

Is there a universal symbol for folks suffering from troon-loss? If there isn't we should make one. Even something as simple as a specific ribbon color (a gradiant, maybe?), that can be easily shared on the normie-nets.

I think a hand sign for this should be an open palm facing outward (️) but with the thumb tucked in over the palm.

Then, in real life when we hug each other for support, that little notch of the thumb will be felt as we pat each other on the back. This will symbolize how such a "small thing" like gender identity could become such a big deal.

As a nod to the domestic abuse experienced by countless troon widows and widowers, this is also half of the motion involved with the viral "domestic violence help symbol" from a year or two ago, which is like this but then you close your fingers down around your thumb to make a fist.

I think this gesture would be a good symbol because, when you do it, you can feel powerful. You have this posture that says, "Stop! I'm saying no!" Which is very apt.

The graphic of the ribbon is also really good, of course. I'm not suggesting we have a hand gesture instead of it.

Anyway, my heart goes out to all of you.

 

[Madame Souza]

I know it's the thing these days to say someone is a narcissist, but I'm pretty certain her dad is a narcissist. He's her times 100: Makes up things you supposedly said and did out of whole cloth, gaslights you into believing that yes you said and did those things you're just a psycho and out of your mind, that it's all your fault and all in your head. She's been the same since she was about 9, he left when she was 7, the night before her birthday party. He showed up long enough to drop off the kids of the bitch who he was cheating on me with, didn't acknowledge our daughter and took off to do God knows what with that skank. He's always treated our daughters as second class, then gaslights them when they confront him about his favoritism. I've always felt the shitty way her father acts and treats her has had an affect on her development. She's the same kind of crybully victim minded POS that he is

This all just sounds to me like you’re a really poor and sad excuse for a parent who also stuck your kid with an awful dad who, at the very least, managed to be a little bit nice to her sometimes when she was at his house, Jesus Christ. Wish I could go through your whole first post and a-log the shit of it to really earn my hats, but the quote function for that one isn’t working. Too bad, would have been fun for me to detail all the ways in which you sound awful!
Instead, I guess I’ll just say that I have literally never seen someone spew such vitriol about their CHILD in my entire online life, and it ain’t been short.

“She is continually getting bad tattoos and piercings in her face, and the self hate she has for herself just radiates. She'd gained over 100 pounds since she left for her father's, and though she has a flimsy, see thru facade of Yasssss Qweeeeeen I'm Fat and FABULOUUUUS you can tell she has shit self esteem. No one troons out that loves themselves.” -You

Wow, I wonder what figure in her formative years could have possibly contributed to these levels of self-hatred and destruction?

“She's been the same since she was about 9”
Sounds to me like you wrote off a literal 9 year old for not being the picture of emotional and mental instability after her dad left and mom turned to the bottle (I recall a part where she said you’d been drinking a lot but you said you hadn’t been, right? I bet that accusation didn’t come from nowhere though, did it?)

“I've always felt the shitty way her father acts and treats her has had an affect on her development.”
Lol, but there’s no way you’ve had any negative affect on her development, all his fault right? The narcissist parent, who definitely, for sure, couldn’t possibly be you in this situation

“She doesn't give a shit about me or my supposed drinking, since her first instinct is to take off on me again”
You’re right, when she gave birth to you she signed up for a lifelong responsibility to always be there for yo—oh wait, you’re the parent lol

“Of course she can't just suck tranny cock, it's gotta be black cock as well. She's suuuuuuch a good person, you see, and I'm such a bad one”
Gross lol you’re terrible! just, god damn that whole hurt to read and I know none of these people. I have genuine sadfeels for this girl and I hope she finds healing someday

Okay, now I’ll wear 500 hats with pride here on the way to my threadban or whatever, she just sounds awful. Borderline cowish, judging by what can’t be anything other that a complete lack of self-awareness and a willingness to reflect on one’e role in the situations one finds oneself in
Also accidentally provided a flawless Exhibit A of the kind of non-parenting that produces barely functional adult babies at best. I’d probably be an obese troon too if the wreckage this person described was my childhood.

Me irl:

 

[Lady Round Buns]

This all just sounds to me like you’re a really poor and sad excuse for a parent who also stuck your kid with an awful dad who, at the very least, managed to be a little bit nice to her sometimes when she was at his house, Jesus Christ. Wish I could go through your whole first post and a-log the shit of it to really earn my hats, but the quote function for that one isn’t working. Too bad, would have been fun for me to detail all the ways in which you sound awful!
Instead, I guess I’ll just say that I have literally never seen someone spew such vitriol about their CHILD in my entire online life, and it ain’t been short.

“She is continually getting bad tattoos and piercings in her face, and the self hate she has for herself just radiates. She'd gained over 100 pounds since she left for her father's, and though she has a flimsy, see thru facade of Yasssss Qweeeeeen I'm Fat and FABULOUUUUS you can tell she has shit self esteem. No one troons out that loves themselves.” -You

Wow, I wonder what figure in her formative years could have possibly contributed to these levels of self-hatred and destruction?

“She's been the same since she was about 9”
Sounds to me like you wrote off a literal 9 year old for not being the picture of emotional and mental instability after her dad left and mom turned to the bottle (I recall a part where she said you’d been drinking a lot but you said you hadn’t been, right? I bet that accusation didn’t come from nowhere though, did it?)

“I've always felt the shitty way her father acts and treats her has had an affect on her development.”
Lol, but there’s no way you’ve had any negative affect on her development, all his fault right? The narcissist parent, who definitely, for sure, couldn’t possibly be you in this situation

“She doesn't give a shit about me or my supposed drinking, since her first instinct is to take off on me again”
You’re right, when she gave birth to you she signed up for a lifelong responsibility to always be there for yo—oh wait, you’re the parent lol

“Of course she can't just suck tranny cock, it's gotta be black cock as well. She's suuuuuuch a good person, you see, and I'm such a bad one”
Gross lol you’re terrible! just, god damn that whole hurt to read and I know none of these people. I have genuine sadfeels for this girl and I hope she finds healing someday

Okay, now I’ll wear 500 hats with pride here on the way to my threadban or whatever, she just sounds awful. Borderline cowish, judging by what can’t be anything other that a complete lack of self-awareness and a willingness to reflect on one’e role in the situations one finds oneself in
Also accidentally provided a flawless Exhibit A of the kind of non-parenting that produces barely functional adult babies at best. I’d probably be an obese troon too if the wreckage this person described was my childhood.

Me irl:
View attachment 3947049

TL;dr

When are you going to troon out yourself, fag? Who was overly indulgent with you and led you to be a coomer POS? Just wondering.

Edited to add so as not to derail the thread: Thinking about this in the shower (Also, if you're a troon or troon adjacent, maybe think about taking one yourself, we know how you beasts roll. Dirty.), I really don't like using the term "triggered", but goddamn, bro, you are triggered. That word salad slop of a mess up there is what you took away from my post? Really? Projection, my darling, a terminal case of it. Not everyone is your mean ol' mommy and your coddles for diddles Daddy was not the good parent, okay? Discuss with your therapist or psychologist, I know you have one.